Depression

After reading Suzanne's post found here I felt like I needed to post. Part of my reason for not posting as of late is that I have found myself suffering from depression. I haven't said anything because even though I know better I felt like it was a secret. I felt like I shouldn't talk about it or admit that I wasn't doing so well.

It takes all my effort just to get out of bed. I'm always so fatigued. And I have found myself falling into an illusion that all I needed was just a little more sleep and then I'd be rested and full of energy. Problem is that no matter how much sleep I get it's never enough. Today I woke up and really did not want to get out of bed. Azrael came in to greet me like he does every day. Since I had the air conditioner on (Is it just me or is it weird that it's mid October and I am still running the air conditioner?) he left pretty quickly. Then 10 minutes later he was back. And 10 minutes after that repeated it again. Better then a snooze button let me tell you. And then I did get out of bed. But it's pretty sad when your cat has to get you out of bed.

I can't deal with the stress of financial issues... and of being unemployed. So I find myself shutting down. I have contact with very few people and usually it's through email. Because my degree is in psych I feel like I should have all the answers and should be perfectly fine. Of course, that too is an illusion. I can't heal myself. I just assume that people can't help me so I keep silent and simply isolate myself. And I hope that somehow I can find my way through this darkness and can find a job along the way.