The Update on Classes

Last post today... and knowing my track record it will probably be 6 months before I post again. LOL But now that the semester is half over I figure it's about time for the rundown on how classes are going. Saves me from emailing people.

Computers

I seriously hate this class. It's easy but painful. They expect you to do 4 hours of work in your own time. It doesn't take me anywhere near that long probably because I have yet to do any of the "independent learning" modules. I read them... isn't that enough? What bugs me most is that I spent almost $200 for a certification I don't even want. I mean seriously... has anyone ever even heard of the "computer driving license?" I haven't and I did tech support for 4 years. You get trained on the basics of Windows XP (Umm... do they release that as of recently 2 operating systems have come out since then?) and Office 2007. Again a new release is coming out shortly. Just seems redundant... and useless... and like I said I am kind of bitter that I have to have the certification to pass the course. I got 90% on my first test but I still have to do 3 tests for Office and 1 for XP. Should do well in that class.

Automation

The course is on the use of robotics in a DNA lab. The only problem is that the prof is all over the map. No idea what he is talking about. For this class I don't really look at my average (which I got 75% on the midterm) but how many marks I have lost so far (4.5) since there are actually more then 100 marks in the class. I don't think I will have 100 when I get out of the class although it would be nice. Since I really haven't lost that many it is still possible... and I still expect to do well in the class.

Math

Been over a decade since I took a math class and when I was in university I don't think I really attended class or learned anything. It was really only the algebra that had me going, "WTF?" but once I figured that out life was golden. What was funny is that I had asked someone to help me with it and instead of helping they went ahead and did it. Now that wouldn't be funny except that it took them forever (okay so that might be a slight exaggeration... but it took like 3 days to do 10 questions) and we did not get the same answers. I got the right answers... Him... not so much. So moral of the story: Do your own homework. Other then the algebra it's been pretty easy. And I got 99% on the midterm. Some stupid mistake I am sure tripped me up. But I can't complain about that mark!!!

Law

Law is an easy class... for me at least. Got 90% on the first test and have gotten perfect on all the homework assignments (3% per class... pretty much just for doing it and what she called bum in chair). I know a couple of people that have 100% in the class so I am not doing quite as well as them. Maybe next time I will take more then 11 minutes to complete the test... since that is where I lost the marks. Still can't complain when the marks are over 90% for the course.

Chemistry

This was the class that undoubtedly scared me the most going back to school. The last time I took anything that involved chemistry was grade 10 science and that was 15 years ago. I dropped chem at Trent because I felt it was over my head. So far I've gotten perfect on all my labs and got 82.5% on my test. Not too shabby for a course that I was shaky on going into it. One of the challenges as a notetaker is that sometimes it becomes more of a stream of consciousness then actually being able to process what is being said. For instance we were naming compounds and discussing molecular formula and I was so busy with subscripts and superscripts that I had no idea how you figure out what it is. So this week while I was off I really took the time to go through it... and the light bulb went off. Nice when that happens. Still wondering if I should have a chem tutor because I struggle with the polyatomic acid and knowing what the hell the formula for something like sulfuric acid is (had to Google that one).

Biology

This just might be my weakest subject which seems kind of all considering I have absolutely no background in chemistry, haven't taken math in a decade and completed half a biology degree. According to Ashvin, DNA should be the hardest course... Nope... Biology seems to be. And I am not alone in that. One of the girls has a 98% average in DNA and has a biology degree already and on the last 2 labs got like 70% and 75% (maybe 80%). Still beat my 60% and 75% but still seems really low. Of course we do the labs as groups and then the instructor accused the entire class of plagiarism. Are you kidding me? If it were a couple of people then you have a case... but the entire class? Oh sorry she actually accused both her labs (so about 50 students) of plagiarism and went through the whole academic speech of how if it happens again you get a 0% and then a 0% in the course and then booted from the school. I am still angry about the whole thing... I mean clearly if it is the entire class then something else is going on... I don't like being threatened, especially when that threat involves expulsion. I also think she is a hard marker but I really don't know since we do the lab as a group and only one person's is marked, with the exception of one question where we are marked individually. But by the time we get them back it's a few weeks later and we're focused on getting the current lab done (and usually running out of time) so I never end up seeing it. Plus as soon as we get them back it's a bitch fest about the instructor and her marking. What makes it worse is that she could be my lab instructor for Biology 2 (I am seriously rethinking my course exemption for that) and for both microbiology and toxicology.

DNA

Last but not least is DNA. This is probably my favourite class. It is taught by the course coordinator and he is tough but fair. I find it interesting... which is good since it is kind of the main focus of the program. LOL When it came time for the first test in that class I had a doctor's appointment in Pickering and had to rush back for it. Just got back in time. Still got a 90% on the test. And they were stupid mistakes that tripped me up. Last check I had a 93% average in the class... definitely in the top 10 there. :) I would've said top 5 but I don't know how many people were over 90% from the third section... but top 10 is a safe bet. Now since then I got a 75% on a lab (good thing it's only worth about 2%) and then got perfect on the library assignment that is worth 5%. So I am assuming that it's still about the same.

Obviously I can't complain about my marks... C'mon dean's list.... Definitely hoping the rest of the semester goes as well as the first!

Happy, Healthy & Doing Well

The semester is now half over and I am just finishing up reading break #1. In another 7 weeks it will be time for Christmas break. Wow how time is flying. Knock on wood but I am one of few people in my classes not to have been sick so far. Considering how poor my immune system has been in the past that is a bit of a surprise. But so far it's doing an excellent job.

I know that your emotional well being is tied into your physical well being. When you are stressed out... depressed... etc. it lowers your immune system and causes you to get sick faster. Working in a call center was a combination of emotional negativity which lowered your immune system and it was just a breeding ground for viruses... everyone sharing the same computers, the cleaning crews were lax to say the least and people were coming to work that shouldn't be because they couldn't afford the time off. a recipe for disaster. I hate to see what will happen if people who have H1N1 are going into work.... Company wide shutdown perhaps?

So on an emotional level I am much, much happier... which in turn is keeping up the immune system. I've also gained a little weight... still not up to where I want to be but I am getting there. I am sure that also helps. Plus I am now on the right medication combo. I am on Nasonex for the allergies and more importantly Trazodone for the Fibromyalgia. The pain is still there some days... but it's much better. I can sleep through the night and not feel totally groggy like other medications.

Life is good.... Loving every minute of it. Hope it continues on. :)

Potluck

This picture was just one of many taken last week at the potluck held at my place. We were all in the BTF (or Biotechnology-technologist forensics) program at Fleming. We really have a close knit group... well my section (there are 3 sections) any ways. Thought it would be fun to get together... have some fun... food... and drinks. Oh yeah and the Wii. Can't forget the Wii. Lea playing Kawasaki Jet Ski... was an epic fail moment... But she did much better with Mario Karts. And Greg was just a superstar. I am sure he likes the ratio... out of the 15 people that were here (good thing I have a spacious apartment) only 2 were male and 1 of them was married. But they were also the first to leave. Place was cleared out by around 1. I think Az had a lot to do with that. They called him the demon cat. He was seriously not happy to have that many people here. He curled up on my lap but not because he was content. It was like it was the only place he felt safe. As a result a few people left with scars. I had warned them ahead of time... As soon as there were only a few people left he calmed right down and put on a show. Started playing fetch with his bear and humping it even. The other reason I am sure it cleared out is that it was a Monday night and we did have class the next day... granted not until 3 which is why we decided to hold it when we did. And there was only one person that was really intoxicated and no it wasn't me. Mind you I will say that the sugar content in 2 pitchers of strawberry daiquiris did give me a headache. Drank a full litre of water before bed to stave off any sort of hangover and was good to go. It was a good night and nothing got damaged or destroyed. We used disposable plates and cutlery for the potluck so clean-up was a breeze. Thinking we'll have to do it again.

Left Hand Does Not Know What the Right Hand Is Doing

Been off school all week and thoroughly enjoying the time off. I still had readings to do and assignments to work on... they really don't like giving you a free week. LOL Things were going well until yesterday. I was down to creating some flowcharts for my DNA lab and reading over the computer independent learning (I refuse to actually complete them... way too basic for me). But I had to fill out my EI report. Odd thing I like having money to live on. I was assuming that I would have to say I was in school for the first week and off for the second week but wanted to make sure. Didn't want to risk not getting paid. I was even tempted to just put that I was in class and save myself the hassle. So I decide to call in. Call #1 goes something like this...

Me: "I have a dumb question. I was off school this week and want to make sure that I should be filling out the EI report indicating that I was off school."
Rep: "Okay so you were off school this week"
Me: "Yes it was closed for reading week. No one had classes" (Guess that is important to note since I could've been off with the flu... or H1N1 even)
Rep: "So what you are going to need to do is fill out the report online (Now I called the telephone reporting service... is it not their job to assist with this???) and then call back to have it escalated so that they can confirm there was a break. It will take a little longer to get the money but you should have it by Friday."
Me: "Okay will do."

End call... I go ahead and fill out the report and sure enough get a warning that I need to call in. Call #2 did not go nearly as smoothly.

Me: "I just filled out the report and it told me I needed to call in. I already spoke with someone since we were off school all week and was told I needed to fill out the report and call back to have it escalated to confirm the school was closed. So now I am calling back."
Nadia: "Okay well let me pull up your file."
Gets security info and pulls up the file.
Nadia: "Oh I am sorry. I do not see anything in your file indicating that there was a break. There is nothing that I can do. You will have to go back to whoever approved the request to go back to school to resolve this."
Me: "But I was told to fill out the report and then call back in to have it escalated."
Nadia: "I am sorry but there is nothing I can do. Your file does not mention you having a break."
Me: "I wish I had been told that a few minutes ago when I called in. I would have held off filing the report until I could get in touch with them."
Dead silence... she may have even hung up on me at this point. Not that I waited long before hanging up.

At this point you can insert tears. I mean we are talking about $500 being on hold.... And me being caught in the middle of 2 different government departments. Not to mention the fact I was being told 2 very different things. What makes it even worse is that the last time I emailed Murray (my case worker with the ministry of training, colleges and universities - MTCU) it took a month for him to get back to me. So I really did not need this. November is going to be hard enough financially, what with a week without pay because of the vacation. I called Murray and got a message saying he was out of the office until Monday. The message also gave a number of someone else to call if it was urgent... only she too was out of the office until Monday. That's helpful. I left a message for Murray and emailed both of them.

Now I get that the MTCU should have told Service Canada when the breaks were. After all I had to submit them as part of the application... so that I would still get paid during that time. But that is not my fault. And now I am caught in the bureaucratic red tape of privacy laws... Frustrating to say the least.

I decided to call EI back.... after all there was no one at the MTCU that can help me until Monday (at the earliest) and I was told 2 different things when I called EI. For all I knew Nadia was just being a bitch who didn't want to be helpful... or didn't know procedure. I've worked in the call center I know how it goes. This time I was told that it would be escalated to the local office. She even put me on hold to confirm.... and I was told to check in on Wednesday (either online or by calling in) and see what the status was. At least then I was able to breathe a bit of a sigh of relief. The money will be delayed but at least it won't be on hold until the 2 government agencies decide to play nice and share information. I sincerely hope that Christmas break does not go the same way!

Best Job in the World

Not only am I back to school but I also have a job. It, I think, is the best job in the world. I am a note taker. Now I was already going to these classes and taking notes any ways. Now I just get paid for it. Great incentive to make it to class. the only difference is that now I bring the MacBook Pro to class since I can't even read my own writing so how can I expect anyone else to be able to. And then those notes go to people that have some sort of disability that prevents them from being able to take notes. So it's a job I also feel good about.

Goes back to what I said in my last post about how I would be a career student. If I actually could do it I would probably make a career out of being a note taker. I wonder if there is such a thing. LOL Getting paid to attend class... taking notes.... always be learning. How cool would that be? And the income helps too... even if it is only for 10 hours a week (less if I have tests obviously and no money for reading week).

I'm Back....

I had to laugh when Suzanne was commenting on not posting... It's been almost 4 since I last wrote. But for the most part over the summer it would have been [Insert negative comment here]. Spent the summer unemployed and struggling to get by. I still have no idea how I made it through. And towards the end of the summer I was really stressed not knowing if I was going to be going back to school or if I should be focusing all my time and energy on a full time job, which is really hard to come by when you are in the middle of a recession and were laid off at the same time as about 200 other people.

I am back in school now. Never thought I would be saying those words! But I LOVE it. I really do think that if I could be I'd be a career student. I just love learning new things and being in class.

Since people always want to know what you are taking... I am enrolled in the Biotechnology Technologist - Forensics (or BTF) program at Fleming. It is a tough course, no question. I spend 6 hours a week in the lab for life sciences (so for DNA, chemistry and biology) and another 2 in lab for automation. In total I am in class (or labs) for 21 hours a week which is a far cry from the 15 (max) that I was in class a week in university. There are a lot of differences between when I was in university and now although some of those changes are just because of the advent of technology. For instance I get a lot of my lecture notes printed off for me or available online to be printed. I don't have to kill my wrist writing out all these notes. I still take notes, just not as many. I also find the teachers to be more open and available and willing to just talk about anything. I mean I have the course coordinator on my Facebook friends list and there is a group set up specifically for BTF students. My chemistry teacher is on my BlackBerry messenger. It definitely is more hands on and using different equipment then say when I started my biology degree. I took a course on genetics and the labs were shorter and not as in depth. In the year and a half I was at Trent I don't think I ever even saw a pipette and in my DNA class we've used it for 2 different labs already. And then there are assignments... If it is due at 8:00 and you hand it in at 8:01 it's late and a 0. Definitely learning not to procrastinate unlike university where my papers were on average 3 days late in my first year. So far so good.

Obviously it's a biotechnology course so the possibilities afterwards are wide open. I can go do water testing (or really anywhere that does testing.... like for e. coli), research in genetics, a wide assortment of lab positions really. But you might have also noticed that the program title included the word forensics. So yes there is also a focus on forensics. The first lecture in my DNA class was on the CSI effect and what they are doing wrong. Makes for good television but really isn't that accurate. Sorry to burst people's bubbles. Next year we even get to put on the bunny suits and really do evidence gathering. The program also has a focus on automation. So we get to learn about robotics and how to use them to make our lives easier.

Just wrote 3 tests this week, have 2 next week, and 2 the following week and then a week off. When these marks start coming in that's when I will really be able to see how I am doing. Well the law test was open book and I already know I got 90%. DNA I thought went well but could be wrong. And chem we were allowed a cheat sheet which meant I didn't study as much as I probably should have. There were a few multiple choice questions that I wasn't as sure about as I would have been. Live and learn. Have to see how it goes.

Financial Assessment

As I mentioned before I was meeting with a bankruptcy trustee. First off I want to say that I should not know more about the process and the law then the person doing the consultation. While researching options and what it would mean if I do file for bankruptcy I had discovered that the laws regarding student loans had changed. If you were out of school for 7+ years then your loan would be automatically* discharged (See note later on about this) and then if you had been out of school for 5-7 years then you could apply to have it discharged based on undue hardship but it was up to the court to decide if there really was hardship and if even after the bankruptcy you would not be able to repay it. But when I was doing the consultation she told me that my student loan would not be affected and I would need to contact them after the bankruptcy was discharged to apply for loan forgiveness. Now I thought maybe that part of it hadn't gone into effect yet so I let it go... But when I looked at the Bankruptcy and Insolvency Act later on it was listed there.

No real surprise they were recommending that I file for bankruptcy. After all I am now unemployed and even when I was working I was losing money every month. But it's not like you just file for bankruptcy and wipe the slate clean. I can't afford to pay my bills (and am now behind on a few credit cards and my student loan) but I can't afford consolidation or bankruptcy. Bankruptcy costs $1800 in total so $180 month. They said that they would work with me as far as payments go at the moment but I would still have to make up those payments for it to be discharged. More importantly then the cost is how long it stays with you. For 9 months my credit report would show an undischarged bankruptcy and then it would stay on my credit for 7-10 years. Now it's not as bad as it once was... You can get pre-paid credit cards if you do need a credit card for something... or a secured credit card. But it's still bad. This one comes into play more because I am job hunting at the moment.... It also impacts your ability to be bonded. Sure I would pass the criminal check and there is nothing in my background about fraud or anything but the bankruptcy could hurt me... Just think about all the jobs that involve handling money that I would have difficulty getting: Banks, Retail, Call Centres... most jobs that I can think of. So if I am going to do it then I want to make sure I either have a job or am going to be waiting and hoping that my most recent job does recall us. Obviously not an easy decision but I need to do something.

I am supposed to meet with the trustee in a week or so. I will definitely be finding out if they are aware of the recent changes in regards to student loans and if they are not fighting to have my student loans discharged then I will not be making use of their services. I am also going to touch base with them about the issue of bondability. Then I will actually make a decision.

*NOTE: While the Bankruptcy and Insolvency Act does say that the student loan would be automatically discharged after 7 years every creditor has the right to oppose the discharge and can claim that you did not make a reasonable effort to make a proposal. And from what I havve heard that is exactly what is happening. They challenge the discharge and will then prolong the length of time you are bankrupt for AND the student loan may not be discharged at all.

Highs and Lows

I currently feel like I am bipolar. I am not but emotions are running high so it seems to be going from one extreme to the other. At first the thought of losing my job was actually a good thing. There are still a lot of positive aspects to it but as reality set in it was accompanied by a depression. I applied for a couple of jobs and my mood improved. I had a glimmer of hope. Then there was a crashing low as I did not hear back within a few days and was also facing the fact I had no idea how I was going to pay rent in July. Back to the high as I sold off my TV shows and liquidated my CD collection and made enough to pay my rent. Another high when I got a call back from one of the jobs... although I was still reserved on that one as it was with my former company. Things were looking good until today when I got a call from them. Yesterday they said I needed to complete an online assessment and then my information would be forwarded to the local office to set up an interview. But today they said they had all the information they needed and if anything else was needed they would contact me. Sounds a little ominous and like they took a second look at the application and decided not to pursue it. Now I don't know that for sure... but the high from yesterday has been replaced with anxiety and another low. I really want this roller coaster to end and just to go back to work.

Lost Art of Customer Service

I am really beginning to wonder what has happened to good customer service. I went into the bank today to close the account. If I do end up filing for bankruptcy they recommend opening an account somewhere that you don't owe money so I was planning ahead. Plus it will cost me less and gave me free movie tickets. I am all about the free sh$t. And have heard good things about Scotia Bank. So off I go to the Royal Bank. Tell them I want to close the account.... which is followed by a long silence while she just stares at the screen. Then wanders to the back to get a printout and tells me that it will cost an additional $4.55 to close the account (guess they want almost all of the monthly fees even though it's only the 17th) which I don't have on me. Had to go to the Scotia Bank to get the money and come back. Get a different teller to complete the transaction. No one said, "I am sorry to see you go", or asked why I was leaving. Nothing to try and get me to stay. I will say that they were great at using my name throughout but not so good at empathy or making me feel valued. Having said that, had I gone to the other branch... the one I normally banked at (on those rare occassions when I needed to go into a bank) they at least made conversations with me and might have had a different reaction. But not from my home branch. They didn't seem to be concerned whatsoever to see me go. Between my experiences with Cogeco and now this it makes me wonder if customer service and giving a damn about the customers is a lost art.

Should Have Done This Long Ago

As I mentioned previously I got rid of my cable TV. There are only a handful of shows that are not in repeat and I just download them after they air. Most shows I wasn't watching as they aired any ways because I wanted to be able to skip the commercials. But the big drawback was sporting events. No Nascar and no Jays.... Makes me sad. However, a friend of mine reminded me that there are various web sites that stream popular shows.... which prompted me to look for sporting events. And as I write this I am also watching (or more like listening to until I am done the post) today's NASCAR race. The quality isn't quite as good as if I was watching it on TV but it is free. Makes me think I should have gotten rid of the cable TV a long time ago and saved myself some money. Now back to my race.

Onward and Upward

I actually thought that I had posted about this already, when mentioning the layoff but I guess not. First of all I still want to say that I am still kind of shocked about how quickly it all happened. I looked back at my pay stubs and up until mid February I was working 55 hours a week (which will come in handy for the EI claim!!!). 3.5 months later look at where we are. So in February we went back to the normal 40 hour work week. Well most people were always on that... but the OT got taken away from those of us that wanted it. At least all my orders from Columbia House were paid for first. Then in May we saw our hours reduced to 30 and the layoffs started.. Fortunately I had vacation hours to use so I never saw my pay cheques reduced. Then a month later we are locked out and told there is no more work. That is a great deal of change in a short period of time. From all the hours you could possibly want to losing the contract in just 3.5 months....

With the reduced hours I was already starting to look to the future. In a couple of weeks I was going to run out of vacation hours to use to boost my pay cheques. So ultimately the layoff came at the best time. I will still be making less but at least all the OT will count towards my EI payments.... whereas if I ran out of vacation hours.... and the longer we had stayed employed... the lower my payments would be. With the reduced hours and the fact I really don't want to be evicted one of the things I was looking at is debt reduction. I was already in the process of setting the wheels in motion on this one when the layoff happened. I have a meeting with a bankruptcy trustee this week to review all my options and decide what is best based on the current situation as well as the future outlook. I was hoping to deal with this before a crisis occurred. I thought I had a couple more weeks. I was wrong. But any ways.... At least I am dealing with it and not pretending there isn't a problem.

More importantly I was looking at what I can do to get out of the call center industry once and for all. I had discovered Second Career. When I was first looking into it I was concerned that I wouldn't qualify since Minacs had officially put it through as a dismissal. Yes I fought them and won and got my termination pay but I still had my reservations that my application would be denied and I would have gotten my hopes up for nothing. But now I have been laid off again so this time I really should qualify. So I had been poring over the programs offered as part of Second Career at Fleming. One thing that I will say is that it is too bad they don't take into consideration previous education experience... For instance as part of this I could get a social work diploma. However, in the same amount of time I could get a BSW because of the schooling I already have. But it wouldn't be funded.

I must admit though that I am looking for a change of pace and am not going for anything in the social sciences.... So no social work... no drug and alcohol counselor. Now some of the courses that I thought were interesting (like the ecosystems management) are offered in Lindsay so they are automatically out. Not entirely a bad thing since it made my decision easier. Just before the layoff I was down to 2 choices: Biotechnology technologist and paralegal. I was also looking at the Health Information Management but it just wasn't something I could get excited about. It was all about the money. And as a result I just couldn't do it.

Today I was reading the book "Do What You Are" and based on my personality type neither of those career choices are listed. But then when I did look at the list most of the career choices involved dealing with people... something that right now I want to get away from. I don't want to be a coach... counselor... customer service rep... I am pretty burned out.... I actually want a job that I can leave at work and not bring home with me. Now since I didn't find the answer I was looking for there (since my heart sinks thinking about going back to school for another humaities course) I turned to the internet. There were a couple of schools that seemed to think that biology was a good career choice for an INFP. As for the paralegal I repeatedly found people saying that anything in the law field just wasn't for them. And the more I think about my personality type the more I think they are right. I would always be looking for more information to strengthen my case... never thinking I had enough. And it would require me to be quite extraverted... something I am not. So while paralegal might have been the easier choice I am going with the biotechnology.

Haven't even applied yet (although I have contacted the Second Career liason at Fleming, and the local assessment center) and I am already nervous about it. It is the same way I felt when I started at Trent. I felt like a fish out of water. Biology doesn't come easy to me. Or more like it had been a long time since I studied it in school. I think it will be a challenge but I do think that I can handle it. It's the chemistry I am most worried out. Well that and genetics since it was the one course I failed at Trent. Now in my defense I failed it because I had the flu, dropped to 70 pounds, and stopped attending classes or doing any work. Although if someone wants to buy me this book I will gladly accept it. They really should make more graphic novels to help you understand different things. That is a fantastic idea. Hmm... maybe it is too bad that I didn't finish my degree in biology. That might have been a good career option.

So getting laid off wasn't the worst thing that could have happened. I have applied for EI already and am just waiting for my ROE to arrive so I can take it in. I have contacted the powers that be about funding to return to school and am just waiting to hear back. Hopefully in September I will be enrolled at Fleming and without the loans that normally go with being a student. So things are looking up. Just have to deal with the financial side of things along the way.

According to Yahoo...

Just one day after my losing my job I was on Yahoo and one of the stories on the front page was indicating that the worst was behind us. I must say that is small comfort for the 450 people laid off between Peterborough and Belleville. What prompted this proclamation? There was a sharp slowdown in job losses in the US last month... it wasn't even in Canada. Meanwhile the unemployment rate as of May was at an 11 year high. If you ask me when even the call center industry is laying people off you know you are in trouble. The chief economist at the Bank of Montreal was quoted as saying, "Unemployment will remain high for some time, likely peaking in mid-2010 ... (but) it will feel much better." Maybe they can explain to me how it's going to feel better... Cuz I just don't see it. Sure losing your job isn't all bad. It can be a catylst for change and can lead to something better but it still doesn't feel good. Feels pretty gut wrenching actually. But hey supposedly the worst is behind us... so it can only get better.

Thanks Obama

I used to like Obama. I thought he was charismatic and would bring some much needed change to the US. Just look back at the recent presidents. Clinton will be remembered not for what he did in the oval office. Well okay maybe for what he did in the oval office... or more like who he did in the oval office. And then there was Bush Jrwho in many respects could likely be called the war crimes president. After all he started a war with a country that didn't even have weapons of mass destruction and had not attacked the US. Let's not forget Gitmo... condoning torture.... and the fact people now know what waterboarding is. So really it doesn't take much to be seen as a step up.

And this is where I stop liking Obama. I used to think that I had a recession proof job. I worked at a call centre after all where the turnover rate is so high it's hard to even staff the place. I thought I was safe. And then they cut our hours and there was talk that the client was trying to find a way to get out of the contract so that they could get some of the government's money being handed out for creating jobs in the US... instead of outsourcing them. When people think of outsourcing they think of countries like India and forget that Canada is also a pretty big outsourcer. So much for free trade... It's all part of his economic stimulus package. Remove tax cuts for companies that operate overseas (I guess Canada is now overseas as well... since it seems to be anyone that operates on foreign soil) and provide tax benefits for companies that keep jobs in the US.

Interesting how as soon as Obama had declared his tax reforms again at the beginning of May that suddenly our hours were cut and people were laid off. And then less then a month later the contract is gone and we are all without jobs. Their version of temporary is until either you find another job or they secure another client. So thanks Obama for taking away my $10.24/hour so that someone in the US can take that job and get paid about double what I was.

And Just in Case That Wasn't Enough...

I probably should have posted this before my last post but yesterday I woke up and went to check my bank balance. It was -$84. Now I knew what payments should be coming out of my account and even if they had all been withdrawn that still would have left me about $30 for groceries. So I check the account history and realize that my student loan payment has been withdrawn. Now I applied for interest relief in January so I was under the assumption that I still had another 2 months before it would end... and then thought that I could apply one last time. So then I was scrambling to find the paperwork and discovered that no it really did end at the end of April.

First I had to scramble to try and get that covered. I knew I had a payment that should be coming out of my account today and did not want to bounce that. Would have cost me $50 in NSF fees for a $23 payment. Called the bank to see if they could do anything since I knew with a little creative financing that I could cover it by tonight but no... if I didn't have the money in the account that day then it would not go through. Fortunately dad was able to help me out and get that covered (Thanks Dad!!!!) Of course as you know from my last post that sigh of relief was pretty short lived.

But there are some pretty important implications from this. First it means that I am now $400 behind in payments since I had already taken off the automatic payments from the National Student Loans Centre after they practically bankrupted me when I should've been on interest relief a few years ago. The second important implication is that it means that my interest relief period is now done... no more.... Not sure how they expect to get blood from a stone since I just got laid off and can't even afford my bills as it is. And lastly, since I am now behind on a payment I can't even apply for any assistance, such as debt reduction. So I am pretty much screwed. Maybe I should change my number before the creditors start calling.

Needless to say it's been a pretty bad week on the financial front. I was going to say maybe I will get lucky and win the lottery but first I would have to play. So I guess that's not happening. I must say that I hate this recession. :(

Tide Has Definitely Turned

Wasn't even 6 months ago when I was working all the OT I could possibly want and life was good. No real stress about how bills were going to be paid. Was even planning ahead to take a vacation or buy a big screen TV. Then the OT dried up because we were on a reduced queue. Skip ahead about 3 months and our hours were cut and permanent layoffs started. And then today the other shoe dropped. I didn't get advanced notice from my employer.... So first I got an email from a co-worker telling me that they had been laid off effective immediately. Then I get a call from someone asking what happened at work today. So I knew something was up. But then I hear from someone that doesn't even work there telling me it's on the news and that if you call there is a message saying that "due to a lack of work all employees are temporarily laid off." Good news is that being temporary means I still have my drug benefits. So I might want to get my prescriptions filled sooner rather then later. But the bad news is still that it means no income at the moment.... beyond my last pay cheque. Sure I qualify for EI but I wasn't making that much to begin with so it's still going to be dicey and it takes a while to even start getting that money. And I had used all my vacation hours to make up for the reduced hours. So that won't tide me over. Time to practice some deep breathing exercises and let the fact that I am once again unemployed sink in.

When Push Comes to Snap

For about 4 years now I have been with Cogeco for both my internet and for my TV. I didn't complain each time they charged me a reconnection fee when I moved (can't you give me one freebie?). I barely even complained when I didn't have my digital cable channels for 6 months and it took repeated service calls to get it fixed. I didn't even complain when I got a notice telling me that they were going to start charging for overages. After all I knew my bandwidth limit was 60 GB. The thought of leaving them just didn't cross my mind. After all it has always been reliable and cable does provide much better speeds then DSL does. Since they were giving me until June 1 before making me pay for overages I decided to make use of that fact. After all I had several Blu-rays with digital copies waiting to be downloaded... software updates.... and, of course, the torrents. And yeah maybe I did go a little overboard. Downloaded/Uploaded 179 GB in April and was on my way to exceeding that in May. And then... without any warning or even a notification they cut off my internet. Not even any hint as far as how long I would be without the service for. They claimed there may have been a violation of the terms of service but they have no proof that I was doing anything other then downloading a LOT of legal files... or making use of the online storage web sites to back up my files before they cracked down. As a side note a friend of mine downloaded a terabyte this month and was not cut off... So what exactly makes them decide who gets cut off and who doesn't? Clearly it's not uniform where once you reach a certain point that's it.

So any ways... the moment I realized they cut me off... and weren't going to tell me how long it was for was the moment I decided to cancel all my services with them and go elsewhere. Maybe that is a little bit of the Scorpio in me.... but there are companies that still offer unlimited bandwidth and cost about the same. Okay so I had to trade in speed but still. No worrying about being cut off... or that I will be charged extra. Peace of mind. And as for the TV I am doing without for the summer as most shows are done for the season. I will just download the ones that I do want to watch. Once September hits then I will either continue on and keep saving the $60 a month or if I really want the TV back then I will likely go with Bell TV.

As for Cogeco when I called in to cancel not only did they not show any empathy whatsoever, or offer to look into how long my internet was going to be out for, but they didn't even make a save effort. Guess they really didn't want the $123 that I was paying each month. Then they sent me another bill, even though I had just paid the last bill and now had a $0 balance. Oh and along with that bill was a notification that my rates were increasing for each service. While making the decision to leave Cogeco I was still thinking about the possibility of going back to them. Based on the fact they did not seem to value my business I would be hard pressed to ever go back to them... or even recommend them to anyone.

Big Sigh

Things at work have been tough as of late. I think the biggest issue is a lack of communication... or at least a lack of an open dialogue between management and the reps. Back in January we were put on a reduced queue and told to bring up our quality scores. About half the employees were put through a 2 day training session. I didn't have to go through it although in hindsight maybe I should have since my quality scores have dropped in the last 2 months... well only really from the client. Granted I have been sick for the last 2 weeks but still. That doesn't justify the low scores and now I feel stuck. I am not used to not doing well and I don't know how to fix this.

I know that part of it is related to stress. Comes back to the lack of information. As soon as the queue was reduced the rumours started about losing our jobs. And over the last 3 months we have lost about half the staff so it's hard not to look around and start wondering just how true it is. While I have been trying to think positively and not listen to the rumours it's hard. I don't relax while at work and have no doubts that it's affecting my calls.

Management has done very little to quell the rumours and give us the straight information as far as what is going on. It was one of the big things at my former company as well.... People wanted more involvement and more information... not to be kept in the dark. I gotta say that if I thought it was bad there it's 100x worse here. At least as far as being kept in the dark. I asked my team leader today if we were still on the reduced queue. He wasn't sure.... thought that we were but didn't know for sure. Found out from someone else that we are on the reduced queue until June. And here is where we shift back into the land of paranoia and rumours. The same person said that a certain group of reps have been chosen to do some additional training and if as a result of the training quality scores do not improve then we will lose the contract. I don't know what to believe. If it's true then I want to know why certain reps still have a job even though they are clearly not able to do it.

And just in case the reduced queue wasn't enough to create panic and paranoia they announced yesterday that they are cutting our hours. Going down to 30 hours a week. The call volume isn't there for full hours. But I can't afford to lose 10 hours a week. Now I have a sick day that I am fighting to get paid (why do I have to fight for everything there?) and they have said that they will pay lieu days and vacation days. That will make up the lost hours for about 5 weeks... Problem is that after that point it will cut into my actual vacation time and I really don't want to cut into that. I really do need the time off the phones and away from there. But if the choice is between vacation and having a roof over my head the choice is easy.

I just don't know what to do... There are no easy answers on this one. I've been waiting.... hoping that things would go back to normal. Hoping that the day would come when I didn't go into work and wonder just how long I was going to have a job for. How difference a few months make. Back in January the OT was flowing and life was good. Now I feel like all it takes is one wrong move and there goes my job. Maybe that's because it's true. It's not a good feeling to have.

I am sure that my anxiety level is not helped by the current economic situation. I am scared that I won't be able to find another job. My former company has even lowered their starting wage to minimum wage. Not a good sign. Oh yeah and they have done away with things like the first paid break. Well it's still there, just not paid. No paid sick days either. So there are still some good things about my current place of employment. And if I go to another job then I lose my benefits, at least temporarily. But I can't afford the reduced hours over the long haul. Or the constant fear of losing my job. My personality does not deal well with the uncertainty.

The more I think about that uncertainty the more I start thinking that I really should look for another job. Since I started there they have already yanked two contracts with no notice. This time around there is no contract to fall back on. If this one goes bye-bye I really will have to look elsewhere. On one hand I want to say that I enjoy doing tech support again.... but I think I'm lying. Sure it's better then billing but that doesn't take much. That's about where the positive feelings end. I don't want to kiss ass and apologize every 30 seconds. And as a customer I wouldn't want that either. And there is a lot of repetition in the job. It's hard not to get bored when you start seeing the same issues over and over. It's also hard to focus on the cusotomer when that is the case. Or when you get as many customers screaming at you and hassling you for little money. Maybe I am just burning out... So tired of constantly fighting to make ends meet and still trying to do everything that they expect us to.

Do I try and stick it out... weather the storm? Or do I spend all my extra time in hunting for a new job? I can't help but wonder if the only reason that I don't look for another job is that it's easy this way. It takes no effort not to look for another job and no chance of rejection either. Sure I can make excuses about not having benefits if I leave... and being on probation again... but are they anything more then excuses? I wish that someone would tell me what to do... and if I am better off leaving (well considering how things have been going there about the only thing it has going for it is the relaxed atmosphere and the fact I can slack off and get away with it I probably am better off going elsewhere) what job(s) I should apply for. Wow that makes me sound pretty lazy. While I am at it... can someone get rid of my cold for me? Today is now day 15 and it's still going....

Violent

Violent is the best word I can think of to describe my current illness. Absolutely brutal. Missing more time at work. But I have learned that the futon is quite comfortable and Azrael really does like curling up with me. Hopefully tomorrow I am back to work.

I was reading the paper today and on the front page it was saying that most Canadian families would be getting a cheque for $1000. But it hadn't been substantiated and they were waiting for the budget to released today. So later today I was on Yahoo and they were talking about the budget announcement. The first thing I noticed is that they were predicting the end of the recession to be in the spring of 2013. That is a pretty damn depressing thought if you ask me... Not that the government should be unrealistic and glossing over how bad things are.... but I think I was better off not knowing that they expect it to last another 4 years.

As for the cheques they are real. Families who make less then $160,000 will get up to $1000 and individuals will get $300. But before you get excited it's not all at once. It's spread out over 3 cheques, the last of which will come out in June of 2011. So one cheque per year of 1/3 of the amount that you will be receiving.

But it's not really free money... The government is trying to stimulate the economy but with the recession expects prices to rise on goods. More importantly, the big reason for this cheque is to ease of the pain of their proposed harmonization of taxes. Instead of paying 5% for the GST and 8% for PST it would be combined into one tax. So 13% tax on everything. Want to tell me that is not a cash grab? How does that benefit the consumer? There are numerous items that right now does not have PST like staples in food items, children's clothing, and books that will all be taxed at the 13% rate if this goes through. So I will get cheque for $300 but what is it really going to cost me?

Finally Things Are Getting Back to Normal... As Normal as They Ever Are

I really do have a legitimate reason for my absence this time.... I was without the trusty MacBook Pro for 47 days.... Might have been longer. The repair alone took 40 days. That was a nightmare. The local repair facility is completely incompetent let me tell you. And they couldn't even get the model right... They seem to think I have a 17" MacBook Pro. It was downhill from there. Granted I would have been pretty happy if I had come home with a 17" MacBook Pro in the end. Mind you their incompetence did benefit me. Took it in there since it wasn't powering on. Might have had something to do with mass amounts of water being dumped on it. Let me put it to this way when we put it on it's side on the dishwasher to dry off there was water running off the side of the dishwasher. So it was pretty much soaked. Any ways it was completely cleaned before it went in. But we had no idea what to predict when the unit was powered on. With my PDA when it went through the wash (yes me, electronics, and water are quite familiar *lol*) for a few weeks I could still see the water in the screen. But they didn't check it when it went in and just ordered the part. So there was no way for them to prove it went in with liquid damage. As a result Apple issued a CS code to cover the repair. Then the part wasn't ordered. Had to get Customer Relations involved to get the repair completed. Now their own policy is that if it's not done in a timely fashion (typically 14 days) then the computer will be replaced. But even after having Apple conclude that it did not go in with liquid damage CR went right back to blaming me for it. So no replacement. Get the part in and then the display woldn't close. They claim it was due to corrosion. They were really milking the liquid damage to cover up for their own incompetence.... or to get extra money from Apple. Their conclusion was that a new bottom case was required. I have seen the service manual for the computer and the bottom case just houses all of the components but the display does not connect to it at all. Now the issue they were having with the case just required the screws to be adjusted.... not for a whole new bottom case. And even when I did get the computer back the case is separating. There is a gap in several places between the trackpad area and the bottom case. When asked they continued to say it was because of corrsion and that they did the best they could. If this is their best I am kind of concerned. After all they were supposed to completely repair it... since it is now under warranty specs... or at least it is supposed to be. Apple's policy on liquid damage is to replace the logic board which was never done. Oh and it was returned with an optical drive failure. About 50% of the disks burned fail. And if that wasn't enough it was returned without the power adapter which magically they couldn't find and had to order a new one. So from the day I took the computer in until the day I had it home and powered up was 40 days.

During that time I really wasn't on the computer. I don't like using the Windows computer nearly as much. Partially becuse it's Windows but it's also not a laptop so it's not as convenient. I will say that there were some positive aspects to not having the computer. I didn't feel like I was on overload all the time.... I was able to get away from technology. I would come home from work and actually watch the TV shows instead of just having them on as background noise. Azrael was getting plenty of attention as well. Pretty sure I was eating better too. Now I have the computer back and it's back to life as usual.

During my absence I also got really sick. Missed almost a week at work. Each day it was a new symptom so I never really knew what I was dealing with. The first day it felt like the flu with the full body pain. Then the next day it was like bronchitis and then the day after I looked like a cocaine addict since I was blowing my nose so much. I stumbled into work and was so pale. I was pretty much hallucinating and had no comprehension of what I was saying. The only reason I was even there is so I wouldn't need a doctor's note to come back. I made it until it would be considered a leave early and not a sick day and then went home. It was rough. Glad it's over adn I am back to being relatively healthy.

At about the same time I got sick all the overtime got canceled. Based on low quality scores we were put on a reduced queue so we are taking fewer of the calls. About half the reps had to go through a remedial training and were put on action plans to bring up their quality scores. I had managed to avoid that. Then about a week ago I had a really bad call that the client was listening to... And even though I don't agree with the way it was scored my team leader won't fight to get it changed. So instant action plan for me... and no more time off the phones to assist agents with their calls. It sucks... and even if I get off the action plan I still won't get any off phone time until the summer. So a real lack of motivation there.... That was the one thing I looked forward to. I can understand if it was a trend.... but really it was just one call. We have all had bad calls.... anyone that has worked at a call center that is.

The good news is that I still have a job. I have heard on a number of occasions instances where the client hears a bad call and the agent no longer has a job. So it could be wose.... I like having gainful employment. Also this month two of my good friends from work have quit. It's making me a little sad. I am happy for them that they are on to bigger and better things but a little bit of me is still selfish and wants them to be there when I come into work since they always brightened the day.

Not much exciting going on in my world... but sometimes that is a good thing. After all I don't really want any more flooding... I am quite content with my life... even if some would say it's boring. And now I think there is a little furry creature that wants some of my attention. I am more then happy to give it to him.