Just Another Day

The other night I was on my way out to McDonald's. I am really wishing that more restaurants were open late so I could get a little variety on my late night runs. I'm not sure that eating that much McDonald's is good for you. Not that McDonald's and my diet had anything to do with this post... but whatever. So on my way out the superintendant gets in the elevator with me. I ask what floor he is going to and he too is heading down to 1. It seems that someone (or more then 1) have lit the garbage on fire and now it's burning. Just in case you weren't reading my blog back then this isn't really a new thing. I posted about the arson back in June of 2006. Now that time around the recycling was still in the building and someone decided to torch it causing damage to the building. This time around it was the garbage bin out back that was set on fire. Just another day around here.

Speaking of the apartment they are super speedy at fixing things too. Now when I had the leak in the kitchen they got to it fairly quickly. I had to go for a weekend without being able to use the kitchen sink but it wasn't a big deal and I had said it was okay. Then at the beginning of this week I started having trouble draining the kitchen sink. I reported it on Tuesday and figured it wouldn't take long before they came in to add the Drano. Supposedly the building maintenance guy came by but I didn't answer. Now a) why do they never call to give me advance notice? and b) why did they not tell him I had given permission to enter if I wasn't home. So he promised that he would come by today. Did he show up? Nope. As much as I might not want to do dishes I really don't want them sitting on the counter indefinitely either. So I took matters into my own hands and went down to Zellers. Picked up some Drano and poured it down the sink. So far so good. But then I'm not entirely sure that it wasn't an issue with the sewer system in the building and caused by someone else's apartment since it was backing up when I wasn't even running water. Either way I thought that the reason I paid so much for rent was so that I didn't have to fix my own issues. That was supposed to be a perk.

At the Movies

Over the weekend I went to see Resident Evil: Extinction with Adam. I have never played the video games but Adam was pretty happy to see them introduce the crows into the movie. I own the other two movies so it was really a no-brainer that I was going to see the movie... or just wait for it to come out. I must say that I really liked it. It's pretty graphic though so it's no wonder it got an 18+ rating in Canada.

Tuesday nights are cheap nights at the theater. So I went to see Eastern Promises on Tuesday. Now throughout most of the movie I was wondering why it too got an 18+ rating. Granted it was a Cronenberg film and was about a crime family. And then came the fight in the steam bath and all doubts as to the rating was quickly removed. Stylistically it is different then what we have come to expect from Hollywood. If you want something that is nice and neatly packaged then you may want to go see something else. If you want something that is gritty and leaves things open for interpretation then you just might want to check it out. But it's definitely not for the squeamish.

So Much to Say

Right now I have so much to say..... But unfortunately I am not able to. It's not that I want to be cryptic. I just don't have much of a choice. Being a public forum I can't take the chance of the wrong person finding out. It has definitely been a rough week though. I feel like I am in the middle of a war of attrition and I want nothing more then for it to be over. I'm just gritting my teeth and surviving.

For Sale: One Country

You never know what you are going to find for sale on eBay. You can buy a straight jacket, bulletproof vest, cedar casket, or voodoo doll, just to name a few. This week you could even buy yourself a country. A disgruntled voter put the country of Belgium on the auction block. He wanted to raise awareness of the power struggle between the French and the Flemmish and how it seems to be tearing the country apart. Bids were up to $14 million before the listing was removed by eBay.

Short Lived Victory

On Monday Bill 183 finally came into effect. It meant that adoption records were unsealed and adoptees and biological parents could request that information. As I have said before this is something that most people take for granted. But for many who are adopted they have no idea and everything is a mystery. Fortunately, I have had contact with my biological mother but many others have not been so lucky. Unfortunately, just 2 days later the bill was quashed in a superior court on the grounds that it violates the guarantee to individual privacy that is a part of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. The child who was given up for adoption had no choice in the matter. Why are they now being denied the right to find out who they are? Where are their rights? It is not about opening up access to the general public, but only to the parties involved. As much as I don't want to see it even if they put a disclosure veto in so that individuals can request the information not be released. That would still be better then nothing. So the beginning of the week started with a high... and now it brings with it a crushing blow.

Ringles

I really am beginning to think that the recording industry is just stupid and unwilling to embrace the world of technology. Their new saviour: Ringles. They are trying to resurrect singles and combining it with a ringtone. So for $5.98 or $6.98 you will be able to buy a CD with 3 songs, 1 of which will be a ringtone... So really you're getting 2 songs. First of all that seems really expensive for me. You can buy most full length CDs for $10-$15 and get about 10 songs. So I'm not sure how this will save the industry. Secondly, more and more people are downloading their music. That is just reality. Fight it all they want... But look at the success of iTunes. It allows you to buy the entire album or individual songs. I have 30 GB of music on my external hard drive and while I may not own an iPod I have 1 GB of music on an SD card that I insert into my PDA and play it from there. I don't own a stereo any more and, instead, stream the music from the computer through the AirPort Express and into my speakers. I'm not even sure what the last CD I bought from a store was.... Papa Roach Paramour Sessions perhaps. More and more I am buying the music from iTunes. More often then not it costs less, provides instant gratification, and I am just going to be putting the songs on my computer any ways. Besides it means I don't have to create space for albums that I am not going to look at again any ways. I mean sure the racks look nice... and it shows people that visit my materialistic side... but I have embraced the digital world. It is time for the recording industry to do the same. It's a brave new world out there.

Infinity

Last night while trying to sleep I was doing my usual nightly routine of thinking about random things until eventually I just fell asleep. It's no wonder I need medication to sleep since I can't shut my brain off. For whatever reason I was thinking about death and what it would be like when all brain activity stops. It went along with my thoughts on the afterlife and the thought that it continues of for infinity with no end. My brain just couldn't comprehend either of them. It was just too much. Everything here is finite. Part of me also wonders whether I would want something to last forever. I can't even think about it.... It just blows my mind.

Conception Day

Now I just had to report on this story. Apparently a Russian province is getting ready for "Family Contact" day (AKA "Conception Day"). So Wednesday is a good time to procreate and the hope is that you would be giving birth on Russia's Constitution Day. This year the governor of that province awarded prizes like televisions and ATVs to families who had babies on June 12rh. There are a series of concerts and exhibitions planned to promote family values and employers are encouraged to give their employees the day off. Wonder if they get paid for the day off...

As a side note to this story 2/3 of Russian men are intoxicated when they die. Russia is also one of the only places where the life expectancy has decreased over the last 15 years instead of increased. So as a result they are fighting a decline in population. You can thank my social work class on addictions for these tidbits of information.

All I can think right now is Ready... Set.... Go... and Have fun! :)

Smart Pop Commercial

I was watching TV the other day, like usual and one of the commercials was for Smart Pop popcorn by Orville Redenbacher. Apparently it has the health check stamp of approval. The ad said, "There is literally no down side." And all I could think was that the statement was true... as long as you don't turn the microwave on. In case you're wondering why I would say that check out my post here for more details. I wanted to upload the commercial but I couldn't find it. Some days I love advertising... just not always for the reason they want me to.

Something Seems Wrong with This Picture

Troubleshooting 101

I was having some random issues with the computer as of late. Applications quitting on me... not being able to burn disks all the time... just some weird issues. I had run the disk utility and there were no errors. Now for my version of troubleshooting. Rather then go through the normal range of troubleshooting steps I decided to skip to the end and just do an erase and install. All my data is kept on an external drive and it was easy enough to back up the settings for applications. Plus I had to back up my mail. Did a custom install and in the time it took me to write the last post it was done. 20 minutes, instead of the usual 45. Of course I chose not to install most of the applications which helps. And now it's time to reinstall the applications I want.

The Good, The Bad, and the Frustrating

As of late I have been turning off the air conditioner at night to conserve energy and because it had been cooling down. Then suddenly we were back in the middle of a heat wave. I must say that I also rediscovered just how much Azrael does not like the air conditioner. As soon as I turned it off he went back to sleeping on my bed. Thursday night I had turned it off but it was so warm that I wound up not being able to sleep. Ordinarily that wouldn't be a big deal since I don't have to be up in the morning. But Friday I was going out to lunch with Suzanne so I had to be up. Ever notice that when you have to be up it becomes harder to fall asleep and stay asleep? It's like you are subconsciously pressuring yourself to sleep and it's counter productive.

So by the time Suzanne got there I was tired. It was a very nice lunch at Montana's. I do typically enjoy seeing my sister. And she brought with her good news. Then it was off to a couple of stores and over to pick up Nixie. I'm not sure what was with mom but she seemed to be on the attack with me. It was a short visit and then Nixie wanted to see Azrael. So the visit was good overall.

After they left it dawned on me that I needed to pick up a few things. Thursday night I also discovered that there is a leak in the pipes in the kitchen. The good news is that I had a bucket underneath the sink that caught most of the water. The bad news is that the bucket was also filled with cleaning supplies. Not everything could be salvaged. I also wanted to pick up some hangers after my shopping spree at Valu Village. So I head out. Now it is incredibly windy and I am in pain since I have been doing a lot of walking all week... and lately I really haven't gotten out much. But I go out any ways. When I get near Zellers I discover that the power is out and all the stores are closed. So Zellers is closed. By this point I am cursing. I don't want to just turn around and leave empty handed. So I trek on. Shoppers Drug Mart was also closed. Then I got to the mall which had reopened. Couldn't find most of what I was looking for there. So I had to go back to Zellers any ways. By then it was re-opened. Definitely a frustrating experience.

There was also a big meeting on Friday and I was hoping to find out what the outcome was.... but as of right now still no word. I am in limbo at the moment and really want an answer. I guess God is really teaching me patience at the moment.

New Facebook Settings

When I logged into Facebook the other day I realized that there was something new... something that concerns me a little. I have already run full force into the privacy issues so to find out that limited profiles are going to be searchable from all the major search engines. Their argument is that this information is already available when someone does a search. But... that information is only available if someone already has a Facebook account. Raise your hand if you have used Google (or Yahoo, or any other search engine) to search for someone. Or maybe I am the only one... More importantly, companies will use search engines to find out background information about an applicant. While that information may have already been accessible to people with a Facebook account now the recruiter knows that the information is there and has more of a motivation to create an account... just to check up on this candidate. Think it's far fetched? Think again. Just like that information that you think is "private" may not be. There was a case in the States where the employer (a state agency) used the Patriot act to bypass the privacy settings on Facebook to view ALL of the information. My concern is that people think that it is nothing more then social networking and you can say whatever you want without consequence... But it's a false sense of security as I learned. If you haven't done so already you might want to change your privacy settings so that it can't be searched outside of Facebook.

Big Brother is Watching

No I am not referring to the CBS show Big Brother. A little while ago I posted about what I would do if I was a politician. The same day I posted it I had a hit from the government. I suspect that certain keywords are flagged and they investigate any time those words are used. I'm still undecided how concerned I should be that they monitor posts... I am sure that they also monitor certain searches as well. In the post 9/11 era we are a lot more accepting of the loss of freedom and privacy. It's entirely possible that they would have been monitoring it just as much back then but we are more tolerant of it.

Popcorn: A Deadly Food

I was looking up the latest news on Yahoo's web site. Talk about the changing landscape with more people getting their news from the internet. But that is a whole other conversation. One of the articles was talking about how popcorn could really be hazardous to your health... at least microwaved popcorn.

Supposedly it is related to the butter flavor that is used and the fumes that are emitted when it is microwaved. The consumer developed lung disease after microwaving bags of extra butter flavor popcorn several times a day for years. I have to stop right there and ask the question that I am sure is on everyone's minds. Who eats that much popcorn? Seriously. I can handle it on occasion but I can't even finish a bag... let alone several bags a day, every day, for years. How could that be good for you? Apparently his condition stabilized after giving up the popcorn.

What scares me even more is that there is a condition called "popcorn lung." There are lawsuits in regards to workers at food factories exposed to the chemicals used for flavoring in popcorn. It should be noted that Weaver Popcorn Inc. has said it will replace the butter flavor in response to consumer concerns. The next time you want to make some popcorn it may not be as healthy as you think. And now... I'm feeling kind of hungry.

Presents With My Purchase

I went down to Valu Village today. They had a 50% off sale. Always a good time to go down there and revamp the wardrobe. I bought a jacket there and decided to check the pockets. Got a nice present in the pocket. Not quite as nice as Lesley's. Instead I found someone's bank records. Guess they had over $1000 in their account from a tax return. I tossed it in the trash. I suppose it would have been nice of me to shred it or something. But at least now if someone is looking to steal an identity it won't be mine.

Speeding Up to Slow Down

I was walking down Landsdowne St. earlier today. I was watching all these cars speed down the road. Then I heard the sound of a train coming. Guess those tracks really are still in use. It got me thinking that all these people are speeding just to end up slowing down. And since there is no Via rail they were going to be waiting a while. In turn it got me thinking about the number of cars in use. Everywhere I looked it was like a sea of cars. More often then not there was only one person in the vehicle as well. What is the cost?

We really do live in a consumer society... Consume... consume... consume.... without any real thought to the consequences. This is just one more example. I understand the need for vehicles at times, and in certain locations. But there are times when the rest of us could actually take a walk, get some fresh air and exercise, and leave the car at home. Well okay I don't drive so that is pretty much my reality any ways.

The emphasis tends to be me and not we. We focus so much on "me" and looking out for number one that we don't stop and think about the impact on other people. We take cars when we're just going down the street because it's more convenient. It only takes 5 minutes to drive when it might take 15 to walk. It's also habit. We're lazy. Why walk when you can drive? Right now we really can't see the environmental cost of these decisions because we also tend to focus on the short term... the here and now. If we can't see it then maybe it won't really happen.

The car culture also leads to a social impact. Now this is more just speculation on my part but I would bet that the amount of driving that we do leads people to have less patience and more aggressive behaviour, as evidenced by the road rage. It's also more isolating. At least when you are walking down the street you can talk to, or at least acknowledge those people around you.

So what would I like to see? I would like to see more people taking a walk instead of grabbing their car keys. The environment and society will thank you later.

How to Get Fired

Last month's Wired had an emphasis on "How to" with Martha Stewart. It included how to get fired. However, it all started after the pink slip. Sure it is good to know how to negotiate AFTER the event.... Here is a quick way to get you to that point.

1. Own a Mac
2. Create an album in iPhoto with your favourite images... Include pictures that management will not approve of. For instance that picture you took of the boss at the Christmas party during the limbo competition. Or those drunken shots taken with PhotoBooth that you thought were so entertaining. Or any one of 100 different images.
   
3. Have an internet connection
4. Sign up at http://www.facebook.com
5. Download and install the iPhoto to Facebook exporter
6. Click on the album that was created in step 2. Go to file --> export and choose to export to Facebook. Create a new album with the name of the iPhoto album and export.
7. Click on the link to go to Facebook.
8. Select all of the pictures. Who needs to look at the pictures? They're for everyone else to look at.
9. Approve them all.
10. Wait for the pink slip

Now the more time that passes between step 2 and step 6 the more likely you are to unintentionally post a controversial picture. For maximum effect make sure you do not enable any privacy settings.

Just for added effect you can also get your very own pink slip voodoo doll. With it you can really become the master of your own fate at the workplace. If you want to keep your job then you can use it to be passed over. But if you want a pink slip then you can use the doll to help you attain that. In some workplaces displaying it will work even better.

I take no responsibility for the outcome of your actions. Nor can I promise that you will get what you want. If I could do that I would be rich by now. So take my suggestions with a grain of salt... although in the case of a voodoo doll isn't it better to be safe then sorry?

Relaxation 101

What a cutie... Azrael really does know how to get me to relax. The other day I was in the middle of writing an email when he decided that he wanted my attention. Azrael really is a lap cat. I was reminded that the email can wait.... I was also reminded that my life does not revolve around technology and being on my computer all the time. I was rediscovering the meaning of the word relax. Right now he is giving me the evil eye from the cable box. Or he is planning to reclaim his lap... not sure which quite yet.

My Heart Breaks...

Every time I listen to the song "Cut" by Plumb and/or watch the video I posted on self-injury it tugs at the heart strings. I feel like my heart is breaking. I know all too well the isolation that comes from being a self-injurer. The video reminds me that we are not alone.

I recently made the comment to someone, "At least I haven't gone back to the self-injury. All other coping mechanisms are socially acceptable." It's sad to think about the truth behind that statement. I can starve myself and people just associate it with stress... or the media's portrayal of the perfect body image. I can have indiscriminate sex with strangers, subjecting myself to god knows what but that's okay. I have the freedom to choose who I am having sex with and what sexual practices I am engaging in. If I choose narcotics then people tend to have sympathy and blame it on the brain and the nature of addictions. I can even drink to alcohol poisoning (and have) but that is acceptable. "Cheers"

Self-injury is just another negative way of coping. I don't endorse it or condone it but, at least for me, it can be less destructive then some of those other ways of coping. Anything to excess is unhealthy. So why is there such a stigma to self-injury? I suspect that it is a lack of understanding. People don't understand how someone can take a razor blade and intentionally cut themselves so it must be abhorrent. Since it's not a suicide attempt it must be attention seeking? Wrong. It is simply a way to cope, pure and simple. It is used when faced with overwhelming emotions.. in some cases it is to prevent suicide.

As an example of the stigma attached to self-injury is evidenced in the way I was treated at work back in January, 2006. It was a bad time period in my life. I couldn't deal with anything and eventually was tempted to go back to the self-injury. I gave a friend of mine (who happened to be a co-worker) the knife to remove the temptation. Then the shit hit the fan. Someone else found out and thought I needed an intervention. There was a big scene at work (I happened to be off for days) and management got involved. When I came back to work (feeling much better I might add) I was told that they considered me a risk to myself or others. It was an x-acto knife.... an office supply. They sent me off work and I was blackmailed into being on anti-depressants. In the end I was off for seven weeks and had to be cleared by a psychiatrist to return to work. For more details I had a blog about it which can be found here. I was humiliated and isolated. What makes this story even more tragic is the fact I never even went back to the self-injury. The temptation had passed by the time I had returned to work. Even human resources, who are supposed to be the advocates of the employees, stigmatized me and made me feel like a social pariah. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Drink yourself to death. Starve yourself. Have sex without protection. But whatever you do.... don't intentionally cut yourself.

It has been over a year now. I still have days when I am tempted. I treat it more as an addiction now then I ever used to. I wear an orange and white bracelet to remind me that I am in recovery and that it is a process. So when I hear the stories of others my heart goes out to them. I understand their pain and isolation. Trying to make it through this life. There is one image in the video that stays with me and I want to leave you with what it said. "Only God can judge me."

Army Recruiting

I was just watching the show "Murder" on Spike and noticed an awful lot of Army ads. At first I thought I was just noticing it more because I had just read an article in Adbuster comparing the recruiting ads of the Canadian, British and American military. Then it dawned on me. Spike TV is geared towards males, especially young males. So the army is just using their advertising dollars to target the best demographic. I'm not sure how effective it is but hey I can always watch Spike and avoid watching commercials for maxi pads complete with the blue liquid.

Distracted Daydreamer or ADHD Child

I have said before that I do not like labels, especially in children. See my comments here and here. The other day I came across a discussion about ADD and temperament. It challenged the idea that ADD was a disorder and instead suggested that it might be based on temperament. That's not to say that there aren't certain people that really should be diagnosed with ADD or ADHD since a diagnosis is given when something is maladaptive. Supposedly the 4 most common MBTI types to be diagnosed with ADD are INFP, INTP, ENFP, and ENTP. Notice any commonalities there? The ?N?P. The overreliance on intuition can lead to daydreaming, jumping from one idea to another, or focusing on the internal world instead of paying attention to those around them. Did you say something? *lol* Extraverted SPs may be diagnosed with ADD as well but for opposite reasons. They will be over-attentive to their senses and find it difficult to focus on abstract ideas. INFPs are most likely to identify themselves as ADD even though they represent only 1% of the population. INFPs are also more likely to suffer from depression.

MBTI Type Descriptions for the 4 Types

ENFP: "Muckraker"
Creator of hype, distortion, and the perversion of media of information to be wallows of mindless emotionalism.

INFP: "Fanatic"
Always searching for an Answer with a capital A. Unlike the INFJ, they are usually openminded enough to realize the current one isn't good enough after a few years.

ENTP: "Frankenstein"
The salvation of the world is to be found in this new nanotronic frannistan, of which he just happens to have an almost-working model...

INTP: "Nerd"
What? you mean people actually talk to each other using mouths and ears instead of keyboards????

MBTI Prayers

INFP: God, help me to finish everything I sta
ENFP: God, help me to keep my mind on one th - Look a bird - ing at a time.
INTP: Lord, help me be less independent, but let me do it my way.
ENTP: Lord, help me follow established procedures today. On second thought, I'll settle for a few minutes.