Land of Confusion

Okay so the title comes from a Genesis song that was later remade by Disturbed. But that is sort of how I am feeling at the moment. And it all stems from dad's announcement. There are just some lingering, unanswered questions. We all want to make sense of our world and put the pieces together to accomplish that.

Why? Or at least why now? A decade ago I thought they would get divorced and they stayed together. When I left for university they decided to move out West. Again I thought they would get divorced. Instead mom left her family and followed dad out there. Okay so mom is currently in Ontario and dad is still out in BC... Dad commented on how things hadn't been working between then and how this way they would be free to enjoy their own life. I can't help but wonder if dad met someone else... If not... then why this sudden decision?

He said that mom wasn't listening. Maybe it wasn't a question of her listening but the fact she wanted to stay together. I mean did he expect her to just agree to it and be passive about it? So now she is going to hear about it in a letter instead.

He also cancelled our vacation.... He wanted the kids to come out there to visit and now decided that wasn't going to work. Gave nothing more then a half assed reason. I can't help but feel a small sense of rejection from that. To me that would be a time when I want to be with family. I haven't seen him since 2001 and he has never met his grand-daughter. And now it's not going to be happening.

I certainly feel a sense of emptiness right now. And now I am just trying to put the jigsaw puzzle together and make sense of it all. Easier said then done. I just can't seem to wrap my head around it at the moment. It really is a land of confusion.

Soundtrack of My Life

Stole this from Lesley's blog. I love finding random things to do that allow me to procrastinate and not work. So here goes...

If your life was a soundtrack, what would it be?

So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…

Opening Credits: Goodnight and Go - Imogen Heap
Waking Up: All For You - Our Lady Peace
Monday: Hero - Chad Kroeger
Fight Song: 7 Minutes - Circlesquare
Breaking Up: He Wasn't - Avril Lavigne
Prom: Play Me - Korn
Life: Trading My Sorrows - Darrell Evans
Mental Breakdown: Alone I Break - Korn
Driving: Slow Chemical - Finger Eleven
Getting Back Together: Truth - Seether
Wedding: Whisper - Evanescence
Wild Sex Scene: Bliss (Original Extended Mix) - Syntax
Birth of a child: Complicated - Submerged
Death Scene: Hail Hail - Pearl Jam
End Credits: Livin' It Up - Limp Bizkit