Free Gift With Purchase

As you may be aware I really like Yahoo news. And some days I come across some real gems there. This one left me scratching my head. It seems sales are soaring at a Missouri car dealership where they offer a free handgun with purchase. Customers can choose either a $250 credit at a gun shop or $250 for gas. Seems all but two people have opted for the gun. Maybe it's just me but I don't get the connection between a car and a gun. Is that for road rage?

Okay I have been to Missouri and I must say that there was a gun shop on every corner. It was a bit of a culture shock for me. After all here in Canada I'm not sure I've ever even wandered by a gun shop. I mean I probably have but it wasn't as prominent. Their gun shops are like our liquor stores. Definitely a different culture and a different mindset. Apparently one that sells cars.

Management Position

Back when they were looking for team managers I applied for the job.... At the moment I can't apply for anything but that's besides the point. It still shows that I am looking to the future and want to move up in the company. Okay so that's not why I applied but it sounds good in hindsight. I applied because I wanted the position... and didn't know that I couldn't apply.

At the time Steve suggested that I was only applying for the position because of the money and the fact it meant that I could pay off my student loan. It has been a few months now since that posting and the comment has stayed with me. In fact, it still bothers me. I am really insulted by that thought.

Money is not the be-all and end-all. Sure it would be nice to make enough money to pay back my student loans and get out of debt. But at the moment I don't. Money is just a trap. You always want more. There is always something else that you want to buy. I would never want to take a job just for the money. If there is no passion in it then what's the point? I don't want to be a performance coach forever. Don't get me wrong... I love my job... but I don't want to do it forever. I do want to move up the ladder into a job that has more responsibility.

The only drawback is that I would rather promotions be merit based and not how well you can perform on an interview. That's just me though. I work hard day in and day out but a lot of it just blends in with the background and goes unnoticed. Christie is used to the extra work I do so now it's expected. But I also prefer to just come in and work... get the job done all the time... and not be about the glory and getting noticed. My agents respect me and Christie knows how hard I work. That's all I need. But it makes it more difficult when going for a promotion.

Frustrations From Work

This week has been a huge source of frustration for me at work... I don't think anything went my way. I'll start with the team manager position. Once again I did not get an interview. My annual review continues to hold me back. And now it's a catch-22. If I go on the defensive then it looks bad. But there are certain things I do not agree with. If I could've I would have fought my annual review. It was a personal attack. Even Christie will say that it's a night and day difference since my LOA. Which brings up another point... that review was based on the 7 months before my leave of absence. Logically, either I needed the LOA (for medical or psychological reasons) or I didn't. If I didn't need it then I should not have had to leave... and I was walking myself out the door. If I did need it then is it fair to still hold it against me? Maybe that should be taken into consideration. I have been back to work for 9.5 months now (which is longer then my annual review was even based on) and have not given them any reason to doubt my abilities. What more can I possibly do to prove myself? So it's frustrating to be held back. It would be one thing if I had at least got an interview and didn't get the position.... but to not even get that far. I can't help but wonder if I will ever be able to apply. Christie said to wait until after my next review... which is 2.5 months away.

John has been in training all week. That meant that I was responsible for all of his Aces. On Monday he would've been able to help out but after making the mistake of painting without ventilation he called in sick. With the days off I had that meant that 6 Aces had to be done that day or we would not meet the mandate. I sent out an email and no one responded. I finally got a team manager to change my schedule to give me more time. The next day an email went out from the site director indicating that PCs were not to have their phone time removed. Christie came back a couple of days later and sent out an email asking who had helped out. My reply was noone. Well then a couple of people suddenly volunteered their time to help out. I didn't get back to one of them because their email just said to give them the names and extensions of the agents. By then it was a moot point. My original email specifically said they needed to be done that day. They freaked out because they had offered their help and I didn't get back to them. They took it up with their manager who then went to my manager about it. So then I had to explain it and they made me look bad.

Not to mention the workload this week... With new agents and what not the time it takes to do an evaluation goes up. I think the average call was about 45 minutes. For the first 4 days I didn't have time to do anything except the evaluations. I didn't even have time for lunch. I was eating one meal a day as a result. That's not fair to me. Not to mention the fact I've been sick for the last couple of weeks but I come in to meet the mandate. I shouldn't have to feel like I HAVE to be there and can't take the time off to get better. So just from trying to get everything done my stress level has greatly increased.

And if I didn't have enough work to do.... I missed an email from another performance coach where they wanted replies from everyone and I then missed the deadline for it. I got strongly told that I better get it in... I'm sorry... but cut me some slack... I haven't even had time to take a break... or do half the things I want to...

If that wasn't enough I also made the mistake of talking to another performance coach about an agent since that person was being transferred to their team. I will fully admit that it should have been taken off the floor but it was dead and they were waiting for one of their agents. They didn't suggest it either. Someone complained and I got written up. Teach me not to talk to anyone... or try and be nice to give them the heads up. I will freely admit that I was in the wrong but it really did not help me any this week.

I can't even remember the last time I got any sort of appreciation at work. Lately it has all been negative. I rarely see my team manager and I've asked to talk to her a few times now and got no response. Initiative is not rewarded. I work my ass off and don't even get a job well done. After the week I have had it's becoming more and more difficult to be motivated to go to work. After all... no matter what I do it's still not good enough. Between the fatigue that comes from working yourself to death... the amount of work I've had to do... and thinking about my last review it's led me to be in tears every night. Picture me in tears.... I haven't felt like this in a year.... All I know is that something has to change. I just haven't figured out what that is yet.... Short of quitting.... I'm hoping for another option.

Day in the Grind

It's been a long week... I knew I was getting my annual review so I was pretty stressed about that. I knew what was going to be said (for the most part) but it was getting to me. Then I found out I wasn't even getting an interview for team leader. Had the money taken from my bank account. Last night I ended up being at work until 9:30. I wasn't being paid for it since I wasn't actually working. Today I finally got my annual review. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Then I was looking for trends on an agent. Typically that involves listening to a number of calls in a row and evaluating them all. That never seems to be a good thing. I am beginning to think I should do that on all the agents at one time or another... you learn a lot about the agent. That ended with a lengthy coaching session. So I was late again today... actually I got paid until 9:00 tonight and was done at 5:30. So after two 12 hour days I am a little tired right now... It's almost bed time any ways. I am pretty glad that I have a three day weekend coming up. I tink I need a few days off right about now... it's been a long, tough week.

Niagara Falls... The Update

Okay so I might as well update that one... now that I have something to report. My name was not put forward for team leader in Niagara Falls. It's only been 5 months since the LOA and while Christie said it is a night and day difference (which is good) they want me to wait a couple of months to really "prove myself" for lack of a better word. And as difficult as that was to hear I understand it. I was sort of expecting something like that... since 5 months isn't that long a time. I have come a long way and will continue to work hard. Christie is also going to be involving me in more of the team manager stuff so that I can get some experience and become comfortable with the position. So I m cool with that. I love my job (most days) and am all for showing that I can do the job. It took me three tries to get Performance Coach. I could have got discouraged and stopped trying... but I wanted the position so I kept at it. Pat gave me a big compliment the other day. She said that she han't considered me competition for the TL position. Normally that wouldn't be a compliment. But her rationale was that she had actually assumed we would both get it. The good news is that since the site is just opening and it's just the first group of people being hired it is pretty much a guarentee that they will be hiring again... and by then I should be able to apply for it.

Niagara Falls - Part 2

So the jobs for Niagara Falls have already been posted... That means the call center must be opening soon... probably in the fall. I picked up the posting today and have until next Friday to fill in the application and get it back in. I have no doubts that I will be applying for the team leader position. I am feeling some anxiety about the interview... leaving the people I know... and getting out of my lease. I know why I am feeling anxious though. Some of it is out of my control and that always bothers me. Right now there really is no point in feeling anxious though. After all, I may not even get the job. I might be staying here and waiting for a position to open up. But it looks like at some point during my vacation I'll be going into work to drop off the application and the resume and then we'll see what happens.

Possible Relocation to Niagara Falls

Now it's decision time... We are opening a call center in Niagara Falls and the jobs were just posted on the company's web site. If I stay here I'll have a tough time moving up in the company since there are no team leaders, just team managers here. So if an opening does come available there are 20 people vying for the job. If I apply for Niagara Falls then it would be a step up in the company... to a salaried position. I'm just having a tough time as to whether or not I am good enough to get the job. Plus I have a lease here. I am not sure what I would do about that. The possibility is actually stressing me out a little. I was having a lot of trouble sleeping last night, for a whole host of reasons and got to thinking about applying for the position. My biggest concern is the lease and getting out of it. Well that and applying for the job and not getting it.

But the good news is that I would be out of Peterborough since there isn't much holding me here. I am starting to think this place is cursed. Very little has actually gone right since I moved here. I'm young, single and can relocate. Steve would be out of my life... so would Tristan. There are a few people I would miss but Niagara isn't that far away. And it's a change of scenery... something I could really use.