Friday, July 04, 2008

Inadequacies of the English Language

Really this goes along with my last post but I felt it deserved it's own space. The other day I was having a great conversation with a friend of mine about friendships. We were discussing close friendships but then there are always people that don't quite make the grade. They're "friends" but not in the best friends forever sense. They're not really acquaintances either. So I went on the hunt for a word that was between friend and acquaintance. I really couldn't find one. It seems that in English the word "friend" means anything above and beyond an acquaintance.

In my search (God bless the internet and Google *lol*) I came across this article that compared the Russian word "Droog" to the English word "Friend." Or should I say that it compared the cultures, more so then just the words that were being used.

I look around and I think of North Americans as being soliary... It's all about the "me." And that shows in our behaviours and our interactions with others. It's the iPod culture where we just tun everyone else out. Most of my conversations now revolve around IM and email and not over the phone or in person. Now I know that I am guarded so I can't possibly extend my reluctance to be close to someone and share all the details with my life to society as a whole... Having said that, I certainly believe that the nature of friendships that we have in North America is quite different then those being described of the Russian culture.

“The intensity of Russian relationships surprises Americans. Russians share everything with their closest friends. They share each other’s sorrow. They commiserate and help each other. A male friend is a brother, a drinking companion, a soul mate, and a bulwark against the outside world... To a Russian woman, a girlfriend is a confidante with whom she shares things she may not share with her husband or mother. The women see each other as comrades in arms against weak men and a hostile world. Russian émigrés are even closer because they have their own problems and difficulties in coping with life in their new country... In Russia, friends were there to help you when the system got in the way, to help you get a job, to fix your car, or lend you money. Few Americans have the time or patience for relationships requiring such commitment and loyalty. These relationships are very demanding.”

I think back to my last post about Facebook and the "friends" that are on the list. Certainly when I think of the comrade in arms and sharing everything with these people I think no way. The closeness just isn't there.

So I think the word "friend" is often overused and I believe there really needs to be an English word between acquaintance and friend... or a word more like the Russian word "droog" to represent that inner circle of friends... those people that we truly let in... if we let anyone in at all.

2 comments:

Nixie's Mom said...

It took me a moment, but I recognized the word 'droog'...and remember using it and being called it.

and then I would remember the way that friends and strangers would greet eachother with a kiss...and then offer you even more than they could afford to give...

I love Russia.

PS. Coming up tommorrow - r u working?

Fallen said...

Knew you'd like the post... and my reference to not only the Russian language but the culture as well.

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