Merry Christmas

Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I wanted to decorate the post with holly and wreathes but since I'm not exactly at home I can't actually add in any pictures to the post. Maybe later before I go to bed... if I remember... which isn't likely. Going Boxing Day shopping after work today. Hope you all are doing well :)

Working Hard

There is something to be said for being able to update your blog at work. Have I mentioned yet that I love the new job? Full internet access... well aside from Hotmail any ways. So right now I am waiting for a call and it gives me a chance to do other things... like contact people on Facebook, engage in poke wars (knowing that they won't be up for a few hours), check out the latest news, watch videos on You Tube and now even blog. All in a days work let me tell you. I can always find something to do. I was even tempted to write real emails to people but I am still a purist. I like using Entourage (Read: Outlook for non Mac users) and actually having a copy of the email in my sent folder that I can search later... Mind you there are way too many emails in my sent folder but that's why searching for key words is a good thing. Hmm... wonder what's next on the agenda. A nap perhaps?

Zodiac Match Test

The Zodiac Match Test

My Result: Sagittarius

Initially, a Sagittarius may catch your eye with their knack for witty conversation and flirtation. But as you get to know them better, you're even more likely to be drawn to your Sagittarian's adventurousness and unhesitating willingness to take the risks necessary to keep life fun and free. People born under this sign are typically both enjoyable to be around and interesting to talk with. Be aware that Sagittarians do have a tendency to become restless at times. However, this sense of adventure will help keep things exciting in your relationship. In the bedroom, you'll likely find that the Archer is sexually creative and will keep you happily engaged. This is simply a natural extension of the Sagittarian nature. Overall, they want to get the most out of life and are always on the lookout for exciting new adventures.

Take this test >

Hey look at that... I got something other then Virgo *lol* Maybe I should be taking notes....

Yellow Does Not Mean Go Faster

I was walking home from work this morning... much like I do every morning. Well right now trudge would be more appropriate. Some of the sidewalks are non-existent. Watch out for icy patches. Good times.... especially when it's 8:00 a.m. and you have just gotten off work. The eyes are adjusting to daylight, or gray skies if it is anything like today. I had just climbed the brutal hill that always makes me curse walking home and was almost at the lights on the other side when I heard the sound of sirens. Then I see the the fire department command post vehicle. Some people are stopping... some people keep going and then pull over to the right... and they get around the corner. As I am standing there I hear more sirens. As I turn around I can see the fire truck heading for the intersection with lights flashing and sirens going. Do people stop? As the light turns yellow and the fire truck is practically in the intersection I see not one, but 2 cars paying no attention to the sirens.... or the BIG red fire truck coming at them.... no their only concern is beating the red light. All I could do was shake my head. Common decency would tell you to pay attention to the sirens... and if you don't hear them then maybe it is okay to floor it and make it through that light. Since we all know that extra 2 minutes is going to make all the difference in the world. Well it just might to the people wherever the fire truck was going in such a hurry. Some people.

Past Relationships

I came to an interesting realization today... or well I guess it was yesterday now. After a friend of mine said that I was going to be her project for the new year... Find me a man... or something along those lines.... I got to thinking about past relationships. If I think about the 3 men that I still feel something of a connection with I realize that they are all Virgos. Now, for the most part, I don't really believe in astrology. But that is something that definitely strikes me and I find interesting. Maybe there is something to it.

Found the Money

The missing money that I reported on has been found. After I called Apple for the third time I was finally told that they were sending me a cheque after all. Could they not have told me that from the start? So I finally got that money.

I also called Minacs corporate office about the RRSPs and they looked into it for me. They agreed to write a cheque for the full amount plus the contributions that Minacs would have made. It was actually remarkably easy... About the only thing that has been with them.

First Week Done

My first week on the floor is now done. Had 3 weeks of training and the schedule was 4 to midnight. It was a rough schedule. Not a lot of time to get things done. My day just got broken up so I only had a couple of hours before work and a couple of hours after work. Plus that late in the day I just found my concentration wasn't there. Or maybe it was the extended absence from the workplace. But training is now done and over with.

I have discovered that midnights are the perfect shift for me. On day shifts often you have no chance to do things like go to the doctor... chiropractor... anyone that is 9 to 5. And if you work evenings then you only have the mornings to get anything done... and we all know how much I like mornings. Now I get off work at 8 and can get things done first thing in the morning. Take Friday for instance. I went grocery shopping after work. Then I stopped by my apartment to drop off the groceries and then went to the bank. Came home and went to bed. Slept until about 7:30 and if I still needed to go to a store I could've. Then left just after 11 to get to work. Perfect I tell you.

I even called mom up on my way by her apartment... since I knew I'd be working Christmas. So I invited her out for coffee. I ended up visiting with her for quite a while and then she took me out for breakfast... and to run a couple of errands... and then home.

I am enjoying the job, for the most part. And it's not the kind of job that I take home with me. What an improvement. And now I am off until Tuesday.... well I leave here Monday night to go into work. So I will be home for the snowstorm and not trying to brave the weather.

Random Occurrences

The other night I was getting ready for work when there was a knock at the door. People will frequently get the wrong apartment... Probably doesn't help that my apartment has no numbers on the door. I open the door and Tristan was standing there... Now I haven't seen him in almost 2 years. It was quite the shock. He was standing there with an apartment size freezer. Now it turns out that he works for the Brick now and was delivering it but they had the wrong address. Gave me a chance to reconnect with him and he apologized for things that happened in the past. And I thought I had a guilt complex. Got his phone number and we might go out to dinner soon.

Speaking of Missing Money

While on the same topic.... I received my termination pay last week. I must say the letter made me feel all warm and fuzzy. And then I promptly went out and bought a Playstation 3. But any ways.... On the cheque there was a deduction for RRSPs. Now RRSPs are a good thing. However, I no longer have an account with Standard Life. I closed it back in July and transferred the money to the bank. And right now I would rather just have the $280. So I call Standard Life and they have no record of it. Hmm... so where's the money? On an off chance I call my former company.... but not the local office. I call corporate. First I get told that the money would not have even been sent to Standard Life yet. It would be next month. So since it hasn't been sent yet I ask if it can not be sent ever.... and just be sent to me. Now the person I was speaking with couldn't do that but was trying to find the contact info for the person that could. She wasn't able to locate it but took my name and number and is going to get them to call me. So we'll see what happens there. I don't want to be fighting to get the money back. And if it is sent to Standard Life I will only receive 50% back. The other 50% will have to go into a locked-in RRSP. So now I am crossing my fingers and hoping.

More Woes from AppleCare

Don't worry there is nothing wrong with my computer at the moment. Last week I got an invoice in the mail from Apple. It appeared to be a credit for my AppleCare. Guess my letter to CR and to Apple Canada worked. They were refunding what was left of the AppleCare. Since the invoice was dated on November 12, 2007 I checked all of my credit cards to see if there was any new funds on it. There wasn't. So then I had Steve check his credit card since that was the one I used to purchase the computer. Nada. The next day I called and spoke to CR. They told me that it was being refunded through PayPal and weren't sure how long it would take. Was told to contact PayPal about it. Nothing like passing the buck. But since I hadn't checked my PayPal account I was fine with that. So I check. Nothing there either. So I wait.... and today I call Apple again. It's like pulling teeth. First of all the person I spoke with was incredibly rude. She cut me off and placed me on hold without even getting my permission to do so. Not that I would've said no but "please hold" and then click is not very nice and I am pretty sure that their policy (unless it's different then tech support) does not allow that. So once again she tells me that the money is being sent to PayPal. Won't even confirm that they even used the right email address. Starts comparing it to sending out a cheque or a credit card payment. Anyone that has used PayPal before knows that as soon as money is sent to your email address you receive a notice and can log into PayPal to claim the amount. It's pretty much instantaneous. Considering the invoice date is from over 2 weeks ago I can guarentee that I am never going to see this money unless Apple does something about it. So now I have $140 floating somewhere.... It would be nice to actually receive that money. Bring the whole painful Apple experience to a conclusion. And just in case you're wondering you can still see the burn mark on my leg.... so I doubt it's ever going to completely heal.

The Job Front

This has been a stellar week so far. I found out about the labour board dispute yesterday. While it's not entirely the resolution I had been hoping for it was about the best I could hope for. And it does mean that I will be getting about $2000 at some point. Definitely looking forward to that. Then today there was a hiring fair going on at Teleperformance for their technical support position. So I went down for that.

First I got lost. The building is really confusing. I had to ask someone how to get to the main office. Then I went in to drop off my resume and the receptionist was really friendly. That was a change. Wasn't expecting that. Spent about 30 minutes or so filling in the application, agreeing to the police check, and filling out several tests. Then I had to do a typing test. Got 53 wpm with an accuracy of 99%. Pretty excited about that actually. Since it was the job fair I even had the interview today. Susan really didn't ask me any questions. I guess that's a good sign. *lol* I am supposed to go back tomorrow for a tour and more paperwork. So I'm going to go with the fact I am employed again.... unless I find out differently tomorrow.

The job starts on Monday which is really short notice. I was hoping for another week so that I would get the EI in time to pay rent. Doesn't look like that will be the case. But it's not like I am turning down a job so I can pay rent on time. I'll just have to talk to the landlord and let them know that it will be late and explain why that is the case. It will cost more in the end. But hey it looks like I have a job again.

Welcome to the Real World

As many of you are aware back in March I lost my job. Well technically I didn't really lose it. I know exactly where it went and why it disappeared. What you may not know, since I really didn't want it to be public knowledge, is that I was fighting back. I felt that it was unfair and that I was being targeted. Ideally I wanted my job back... but failing that I at least wanted the termination pay.

Now I did get an apology from the parent company over my treatment there but nothing else ever came of that. Then I had someone from corporate looking into it. They dealt the final death knell for any thought of getting my job back. They also refused to admit any wrong doing. But offered me the 4 weeks salary. After careful consideration I turned it down choosing instead to let the labour board make the final decision. If they decided that it was justified then I would accept that answer. But if not then it would go on record that it was a case of wrongful dismissal and the company would be held accountable.

Such noble sentiments. I have since discovered that the labour board is on the side of the employers and will look for any loophole to screw over the employee. Okay so the wrongful dismissal is not the reason for that thought. They didn't give me my raise back in February and then fired me at the end of March. I was told I couldn't claim for any additional wages. So as long as they fire you before implementing the new wages it's okay. For the longest time I had a catch-22 at work. If I took my lunch then we wouldn't meet the mandate and it would lead to disciplinary action. So I didn't take my lunch but they didn't pay me for it either. They deducted the time. And I was told that I voluntarily chose not to take my lunch. Hmm... damned if you do and not paid if you don't.

As for the whole wrongful dismissal claim.... since they had already offered me the 4 weeks pay and to change my termination to without cause that is exactly what I'll be getting. But basically they are calling it a settlement. The company will not have to admit to any wrong doing and can even try and take the righteous high ground of "Look at us. We offered to do this and didn't have to. We wanted to bring closure to the situation." But really.... if they thought they could win and not have to pay anything they would've fought me.

Life in the real world isn't quite as black and white. There are a lot of shades of grey. But the good news is that the whole saga has now come to an end... or will once I get the cheque (which could be 6 months from now). I saw it through.... no matter how many people told me that I couldn't win and that I should just stop fighting. In the end I won.

Yet Another Toy Recall

Normally I wouldn't even comment on a toy recall or even pay any attention to it. After all I don't have any children and don't watch the news very often. But this one I feel the need to comment on.

The company Spin Master created a toy called Aqua Dots (Bindeez in Australia). I must say that I had seen the commercials prior to the recall and thought it was an interesting idea. You create various designs with the beads and then when water is added the beads fuse together.

The problem is that kids do what kids do best... they swallow the beads. According to Health Canada's web site, "Information from Australia and the United States indicates that the tiny coloured beads may be coated with a substance that can become toxic when it is ingested. Children who swallow the beads may become comatose, develop respiratory depression, or have seizures."

What they don't tell you is that the chemical coating metabolizes into gamma hydroxy butyrate or GHB. In case you're not familiar with it GHB is a common date rape drug. I am still trying to wrap my head around how it is that a children's toy... turns into a date rape drug. How is that even possible?

I am reminded of all those times on shows like CSI (or the movie Traffic) where they come up with new ways to ship drugs where it's undetectable. Was this not supposed to hit the store shelves and accidentally wound up in the hands of children? Did the scientists involved not realize what would happen? How does this happen?

As it turns out it is just another incident on account of using Chinese plants to manufacture the product. The toys were supposed to use 1,5-pentanediol, a nontoxic compound found in glue, but instead contained the harmful 1,4-butanediol, which is widely used in cleaners and plastics. Why the switch? Probably because the second one costs 1/3 of the price.

Two weeks ago the government placed an export ban on 700 toy factories in the southern Guangdong province in China because of shoddy products. Perhaps companies should be looking at the true costs of doing business and clearly changes need to be made somewhere... In this case it's especially serious since the outcome could have been fatal.

And since the toys are currently being tested in Hong Kong what happens to the supplier if the chemical is found? They face up to 1 year in prison and a fine of $12,877. Something tells me that isn't enough of a deterrent. he Chinese online trading platform ChemNet China lists the price of 1,4 butanediol at between about $1,350-$2,800 per metric ton, while the price for 1,5-pentanediol is about $9,700 per metric ton... so 2 metric tons of switching the chemicals and the fine is already paid for. Not to mention the fact it could potentially be lethal... so ~$13000 just doesn't seem enough. Shut the factory down, implement mandatory inspections, and use stiff penalties to prevent this kind of thing from happening.

Chocolate Christmas Calendars

I suddenly feel like going out and picking up one of those Advent calendars not so I can count down the days to Christmas but so I can get that piece of chocolate that is behind each door. Mmm.... chocolate. Not sure why I am craving it at the moment. I don't really eat a lot of chocolate.

Now what prompted me to think about advent calendars and the chocolate contained within it? Back to the world of Yahoo news. Seems the city of Hanover in Germany created an advent calendar. No big deal right? Except that their advent calendar includes a serial killer on it. I think I'll take the coal in my stocking from Santa Claus over the serial killer. The picture is a cartoon representation of Haarmann lurking under a tree and there is a hatchet next to the door on the calendar. The calendar is full of famous people from Hanover. But a serial killer?

Kind of makes me wonder what you get when you open that door. Do you get a chocolate? Do you get some other reminder of Christmas? Do you get fake teeth since he killed his victims by biting their necks?

Last time I checked advent calendars were usually for children. So if you survive the serial killer on December 1 you might then move on to a philosopher or musician. I think I'd be traumatized by the experience. And in case you're wondering about how the calendar is doing. Since it went public the city's tourism board has been receiving orders from all over Europe and they expect to sell out soon.

Fastest Vista Notebook

PC World recently compared notebook computers to see which one was fastest. And the winner is? The fastest Vista computer is the MacBook Pro. Say what? Yep you heard me right. The 17" MacBook Pro turned out to be the fastest computer running Windows Vista. And to think Apple doesn't care if you can run Windows on the computer. Yet it outperformed those manufacturers who rely on the Windows OS for well.... everything. Kind of makes you wonder doesn't it? For the full article you can check it out here. And now... back to my MacBook Pro. Only I'm not running any version of Windows on it.

Your Dreams Miss You

If you recognize the title then it means the marketing folks at Rozerem are doing their jobs. I must admit that I do find the commercials to be entertaining.... or maybe it's just the wise-ass beaver that's in the commercials.

Just in case you haven't figured it out yet Rozerem is a sleeping pill and they claim that it shows no risk of abuse or dependence. They have the line in the commercial, "Take when you need it and stop when you don't." From a pharmaceutical perspective that might be true. Psychologically I am not so sure. The medication I am on has similar claims. Yet I feel like I need it in order to get some sleep. It's not true but I have tricked my mind into thinking it. So if I don't take it I toss and turn all night. The other day I was commenting on my reliance on a pharmaceutical lullaby. That night I realized that I was still having trouble to fall asleep and was still waking up throughout the night.

I don't take Rozerem but I am on a mild anti-depressant to help me sleep. I find that I sleep too long and am still groggy in the morning. I feel like I did when I was in university and was taking amitryptiline. It meant I got sleep which was great but was negated by the fact I could barely function during the day. Eventually I had to go off it altogether. Right now I am contemplating that fact with the medication I am on.

But this post wasn't supposed to be about my insomnia and my medication. I was on Yahoo today and they were talking about the bad products award for 2007, as awarded by Consumers International. Leading the pack was Rozerem for promoting the use of sleeping pills in children. Seems the company ran a "back to school" commercial with children, chalkboards, and a school bus. That's bad enough but they also failed to include health warnings for children. That's low.

So I wander open to Youtube to see if I can find the commercial. I found other commercials but not that one. However, I did find a video of someone who went to a church Hallowe'en party as Abe Lincoln and his wife went as the beaver from the commercial. Can I just say WTF? I understand dressing up as a superhero or some other famous character. And I understand Abe Lincoln, sort of. He is a famous US president after all. But to go as characters from a commercial... especially the characters from a pharmaceutical commercial. That's just messed up.

Self Acualization

Today I got to thinking about my university days.... more specifically the lectures on Maslow and the Hierarchy of Needs. I need a job. There is no question there. Well I would much rather be independently wealthy but that's beside the point. Completely unrelated to Maslow, on the job front I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I stay here then I need something that pays at least $12/hour just to make ends meet.... $15 if I actually want to start paying off my student loans. Easier said then done. Most jobs pay between $8-$10 around here. And if I move somewhere else then I am looking at relocation costs, paying first and last again, etc. Since I don't drive it's not like I can commute. So I feel stuck right now and have no idea what to do.

Back to Maslow now and how that relates to the job hunt. I should be focusing all my energy on looking for work, my resume, and applying for jobs. The stress should be motivating me to get it done. Then there is Maslow. First you have to make it through the bottom hierarchy, the physiological needs. When you wonder how you're going to pay rent and buy groceries nothing else really matters. You can't focus on anything else. With EI I only make $640 every two weeks and when rent is $746 that's a problem. Rent is due in 6 days and at the moment I am wondering how exactly I am going to pay it.

Finding a new job is secondary to that. After all what good is a new job when you don't even have a roof over your head? It would be nice if EI at least paid enough to meet your basic needs. Welfare is even worse. At least then you wouldn't have to battle with the bottom level of Maslow's hierarchy and can instead focus on the second level, safety needs, which includes employment.

I don't know about other people but finances are my number 1 stressor. I'm not sure if that is because it's not entirely under my control or just because there is never quite enough. I just want to make sure that all my bills are paid. Time to practice deep breathing exercises as it stresses me out just thinking about it. Now back to the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy and trying to find a way to make ends meet.

A Few Good Men (and Women)

My homepage is set to Yahoo and that tends to be where I get my news from. There is another way? So any ways.... today there was a story about becoming a condom tester fur Durex. Seems they are looking for 1,000 volunteers. I wonder if one of the questions on the application is how often you have sex. Since clearly that is a pre-requisite to becoming a tester.

I must say when I hear "condom tester" I wonder how much of it has to do with sensation and pleasure and how much has to do with testing the condoms out to discover failure rates. That's how they'll decide which new brands to introduce to the market. *lol*

In a statement Durex said, "Applicants will be asked a series of questions to make sure they are a good fit for this dream job." Now are they getting paid for this? Since it's a job that involves having sex. So... if they are getting paid to test the condoms then they would be getting paid to have sex? Isn't there another name for that? Oh yeah.... I believe it's called prostitution.

I was going to make some gender comment about them limiting it for men but the article on Yahoo was a little misleading. It is open to women too. So I can scratch that whole thought. So if you are up for the challenge click here to apply.

Canadian Content

Some days I hate being Canadian. I can't download TV shows or movies from the iTunes music store. Granted that might actually be a good thing since it saves me money. I also can't go to CBS, ABC, NBC, or any other network and watch/download shows from them to watch later. It's my understanding that it has to do with Canadian content. To be available in Canada there has to be a certain amount of Canadian content. There aren't too many good Canadian shows. In fact for all the TV I currently watch in a week I think all the shows are US.

It doesn't end there however. Recently the Society of Composers, Authors and Music Publishers of Canada (or SOCAN) won a ruling that music downloads should be taxed to the tune of 3.1 cents per track if purchased individually and 1.5 cents per track if you purchase the entire album. They have also re-added a levy to digital audio players and to recordable media. Looks like they will also be taxing sites that offer temporary downloads and customizable radio stations.

In a nutshell the cost of downloading music is going up... since you can be sure that sites that allow you to purchase music will be increasing prices to accommodate the new tax. Not only are they adding a new tax but it is also going to be retroactive to 1996 when the music industry began pushing for the taxes.

To put this in perspective.... you purchase a CD from iTunes and pay an added tax for it. But then you want to put those songs on your iPod which you were also taxed on. Oh and how about burning it to a CD which you are also entitled to do. Yep you were taxed when you purchased those recordable disks just in case this is what you wanted to use it for. So now you have been taxed three times and this money is going to SOCAN. Wonder how much of that money is going to the artists.

3 cents isn't that big of a deal if it means that the artists get the money. But to be taxed more then once to be able to listen to that music.... well then it's getting to be a bit ridiculous. Tax it once and I might be understanding. Now they just seem greedy.

In a day and age when they are fighting a battle with piracy it seems like the wrong way to go. In Canada it is LEGAL to download all the music you want.... It might be a gray area but it is legal. Just don't upload it and you're all set. So if anything these increased taxes are just going to push more people to finding other ways to download their music... like torrents and other applications.

On the Topic of Health Care

When I woke up today I was thinking about all the health issues that I want to bring up with my doctor once I am back to work and have health coverage again. The fact I have a list says something right there about the status of health care. For one, my doctor is in Pickering which is quite a drive. Now that wouldn't stop me from going to see him but the lack of money would. I can't afford the treatment since I currently have no medical coverage. Good health care shouldn't only be for those with money. The argument is that the health care is free it's the pharmaceuticals that you have to pay for. So blame the drug companies for the disparity.

As far as the list goes I want a referral to the pain clinic in Toronto for treatment of the Fibromyalgia. A friend of mine has been going there and has found that the treatment has made a big difference. But the medications aren't cheap. Bearable when you have drug coverage but expensive when you don't. I'm also hoping that they can tell me if the fatigue really is from the Fibromyalgia or is caused by something else. It's been off and on for a decade now. Every day plagued by the same haunting desire for just a little more rest. But it's an elusive dream.

For a few months now I have also been congested. At the moment it seems to be getting worse. I've been on antibiotics for other things and it has not gone away. I'd kind of like to know if it's allergies, sinus infection, or something else.

I also want to get the cysts looked at. They keep reappearing.... or not going away at all. And when I wake up quite often there is pain in the muscles. I'm concerned about the possibility of lumps. So I'd like to get a biopsy done to rule out anything serious.

Lastly, I want to try and get him to send me in for a CAT scan or MRI. Before anyone freaks or thinks that there is something seriously wrong it should have been done a long time ago.... like 14 years. I have my reasons but I want to see if there is any lasting damage from the head injury. Oh yeah and I also haven't had an annual physical done in about 5 years... So add that to the list too.

Just a few things to discuss. And with the wonderful health care you get about 10 minutes to discuss one problem. So several trips to Pickering will be in order to get things back on track. It also got me thinking about a place in London, Ontario. When I was going to school there my boss was talking about the Shute Clinic. When you become a patient there it cost something like $200 but they shut down the practice for half a day. They do a complete medical history so you have the chance to address everything that you wanted to and they take the time to find out everything they possibly can. Makes for more complete care. Kind of too bad that more places don't do that.

The great, free health care in Canada. It seems there are a few cracks in the facade. Makes me miss my university days where I had great health care and didn't have to think about the doctor shortage or not being able to afford the medications I need.

Steal From the Losers

So now that the election is over and the Liberals are in I am thinking that it would be nice for them to steal the best ideas from their opponents platform. Little from column A and a little from column B. I'm still not going to see any reform for student loans :( but there were ideas from each party that I thought were really good.

The NDP wanted to bring in a dental plan for low-income families. My only question is where do you draw the line? There are a lot of people that do not get dental coverage from their employment and many of them can't afford the high costs of dental care yet would likely be excluded. Perhaps implement a sliding payment scale so that the more money you earn the more you have to pay but still make it low enough that people can afford the dental care. I do believe that dental care is linked to health care. Even just an untreated cavity can turn into an infection. If treatment is done early enough it prevents further problems. But if left untreated the person may wind up needing to have the tooth extracted or a root canal done. Other health problems include sinus infections and TMJ. TMJ is typically treated by dentists, often with a nightguard or possibly even surgery. But without a dentist... or the $300 for a nightguard.... it causes severe pain in the jaw and a grinding down of the teeth. I know that it would be expensive but what price can you put on health? So I would like to see a dental plan.

One of the lesser known platforms of the Conservatives was about medical records. Of course in following the media coverage did they have any platforms other then providing funding for faith based schools and bringing back Canadian trained doctors? Speaking of the idea to bring back Canadian trained doctors they left because they could make a lot more money in the States. Why spend that kind of money to try and bring them back? Would it not cost less and make more sense to bring in foreign trained doctors as long as they were properly trained? But back to the medical records. The conservatives wanted to bring in electronic records which I think makes a lot of sense. That way doctors can easily access patient records. Right now my childhood doctor has some of the records. The school has some of my records. Various hospitals have other records. And now my new family doctor also has some. It would be handy if the doctor (whether it be a family doctor, specialist, or ER doctor) could access all of the records That way they would have a more complete look at your entire medical history instead of just a brief snapshot. I would just recommend that they also keep a hard copy. I don't completely have faith in technology. But being 2007 I think it is about time that this information go electronic.

New Cat in the Jungle

For so long I have been questioning the price of Windows. At $500 for a full copy of the Ultimate Edition of Windows Vista I just shake my head and wonder why it costs so much. But as someone reminded me the last update for Windows was XP which came out back in 2000, I think. Now I still think that $500 for a new OS is a little excessive. Having said that Mac has come out with a new version of the OS every year and at $149 CAN ($129 US) a pop that adds up pretty quickly. And each upgrade typically has something worth upgrading for. Now I must say that my computer came with 10.4 so I have not had to upgrade but based on what I can see from the rumours web sites people are counting down the days to open their wallet and shell out the cash for the newest operating system.

I'm thinking that Steve Jobs is a marketing genius. $150 for a new operating system sounds so reasonable... especially when you can compare it to the price tag of Windows. There are no upgrade options, or different versions of the operating system. It costs less then an upgrade to Windows Vista. So all things considered $150 doesn't sound so bad for the latest and greatest. And a year down the road there will likely be a new cat roaming around and people lining up to buy it and bring it home.

Now there was a time when Microsoft was introducing a new operating system every year as well.... But after Windows XP they focused the efforts on Vista (Codenamed Longhorn) and there was a lengthy gap between operating systems. I could be wrong but I don't believe that a new operating system will be introduced in the Windows world in 2008.

The Cat's Out of the Bag

I was checking out some of the Mac Rumour sites. Where to go to get all the latest news. For a list of web sites that publish all the latest rumours and speculation check out this article at Wikipedia. I know that it's all about the gossip but I figure they're publishing the information any ways so why not get the latest news? It looks like the new OS, Leopard should be released on October 26th. That's not really a surprise since the release date was pushed back to October with the new iPhone and we're currently halfway through October.

What I found interesting is that this week Apple Insider reported that the support staff were now being trained on Leopard through self based modules. Now with a release date of only 2 weeks away does that leave enough time to really train the employees on the new features in the operating system? We're talking some pretty major upgrades here with Time Machine, Spaces, and Boot Camp. Looks like the folks over at MacDiner were also wondering the same thing. The other thing about self paced modules means that they are just reading about the new features and not playing with it. Perhaps it would be good to have the opportunity to install it and get to know the new OS before it's released. Just a thought.

Most of the web sites are also reporting that there are still bugs to be fixed with Leopard. So if it does in fact come out on October 26th I think I'd be wanting to hold out until at least the first update.

Politician Suffers From Foot in Mouth Disease

There was a time when I thought that Nascar was an absolute waste of time. I didn't consider it to be a real sport and I thought that the only people who watched it were true rednecks. Yes I fell victim to the stereotype. There are a lot of people that fit the stereotype but as with anything else a lot of people don't meet it. A couple of years ago if you had told me that my next vacation was going to be to a Busch race in Montreal I would've asked what drugs you were taking. And then I wound up spending time with a friend of mine who is a huge Nascar fan. Somehow I ended up watching a couple of races and the next thing you know I am at home with a weekend off and the race is on. From there it went to the opportunity to see the inaugural Busch race in Montreal and I just had to be there. It was quite the experience. There is nothing quite like the sound of the cars racing by you at 180 mph. The Days of Thunder ride at Canada's Wonderland doesn't even come close.

This weekend I missed the end of the race at Lowe's Motor Speedway in favour of groceries and food. I was also hoping to rent Civic Duty but they were all out. I recorded the race on my PVR but I just couldn't bring myself to actually watch the rest of it when I knew I could find out from the Nascar web site or from Yahoo. I found out that Jeff Gordon won the race but I also came across a different article on the Yahoo web site.

It seems that the Chairman of the House Committee on Homeland Security, Bennie Thompson, insulted Nascar fans. Now first of all I should point out that he represents Mississippi. There are a lot of Nascar fans from Mississippi. So what did he do? His aides were visiting Talladega Superspeedway and Lowe's Motor Speedway. Big deal right? Except that before going he instructed those aides to be immunized against a wide variety of diseases such as hepatitis A, hepatitis B, tetanus, diptheria, and influenza. As people have suggested he seems to believe that Nascar fans may have more communicable diseases then a third world country.

Now the justification.... since of course there has to be a justification.. is that it was about the federal response to emergencies at a crowded venue, such as Lowe's Motor Speedway. That sounds so nice. But they aren't inoculating their staff before going to other sporting events, like baseball, football, basketball or hockey. Often times these events are even more crowded and they are not spread out over a mile long oval. So why are Nascar fans such a risk to national security?

As a few people have already said maybe there needs to be an inoculation for stupidity. Nothing like insulting a sport that has millions of fans and HUGE corporate sponsorship and propagating certain stereotypes about the fans. Don't come near us... we just might be infectious.

Depression

After reading Suzanne's post found here I felt like I needed to post. Part of my reason for not posting as of late is that I have found myself suffering from depression. I haven't said anything because even though I know better I felt like it was a secret. I felt like I shouldn't talk about it or admit that I wasn't doing so well.

It takes all my effort just to get out of bed. I'm always so fatigued. And I have found myself falling into an illusion that all I needed was just a little more sleep and then I'd be rested and full of energy. Problem is that no matter how much sleep I get it's never enough. Today I woke up and really did not want to get out of bed. Azrael came in to greet me like he does every day. Since I had the air conditioner on (Is it just me or is it weird that it's mid October and I am still running the air conditioner?) he left pretty quickly. Then 10 minutes later he was back. And 10 minutes after that repeated it again. Better then a snooze button let me tell you. And then I did get out of bed. But it's pretty sad when your cat has to get you out of bed.

I can't deal with the stress of financial issues... and of being unemployed. So I find myself shutting down. I have contact with very few people and usually it's through email. Because my degree is in psych I feel like I should have all the answers and should be perfectly fine. Of course, that too is an illusion. I can't heal myself. I just assume that people can't help me so I keep silent and simply isolate myself. And I hope that somehow I can find my way through this darkness and can find a job along the way.

Election Results

So now that the dust has settled and Ontario has voted it seems that the Liberals have another majority government which is what was predicted. I am not sure if it was won based on actual platforms, attacking the opponents or because of a mistake made by the Conservatives. There is no question that the decision to provide funding to faith based schools caused some flak but then to rescind that platform halfway through might have been an even bigger mistake.

I question whether or not you can truly call it a democracy however. Take my local riding for instance. Only 59% of voters even turned out. And of those 59% 48% voted for the Liberal candidate. So really only 28% of the people in Petborough actually voted for him. Does that mean that he really represents Peterborough? More like he represents about half the people who bothered to get off their ass and vote.

What makes it even sadder is that this is not just a local problem. Only 51.4% of eligible voters went to the polls and cast a ballot. So when the Liberals achieved their majority government they really only represent about 25% of the entire population. Something seems kind of wrong with that picture and with our sense of democracy. The Liberals are cheering their victory and having a majority government but they should really be concerned with the level of voter apathy.

Tonight's Kid Nation

Just in case you haven't heard of it this season CBS introduced "Kid Nation" a controversial reality show where 40 children lived in Bonanza City, New Mexico for 40 days with no adults. Well there are adults around but they have limited contact with the children. The big question seems to surround child labour laws since they are running their own city and doing all the work.

Now I don't agree with children being forced to participate. But each episode they are provided with the opportunity to drop out and return home. So if it does become too much they always have the opportunity to walk away. To date 2 people have already dropped out and gone home.

From a psychological point of view I find it really interesting. On the whole they aren't as jaded as adults. It's a world that isn't ruled by consumerism and greed. It is based on relationships and loyalty. It's a functioning society but it really shows you something about motivations. They work and keep things running and it doesn't seem to be about the money since what I can tell the money is negligible.

Tonight's episode was really telling. There are 4 teams and each episode they compete to determine their place in the class structure. There is the upper class, then the merchant class, followed by the cooks and lastly, the labourers. The jobs are determined by the class and so are the wages. Now if all 4 teams complete the task within a certain amount of time they also get a reward. With the reward there are two choices. In this case they had to choose between a mini-golf course or a library of holy texts (i.e. the Bible, the Koran, etc.). Religion had been the theme of this week's show. The town council let the people vote and they chose the library. I must admit that I was a little surprised. I thought they would've chosen the mini-golf. Maybe that's bad of me but in a town where there's not a whole lot to do I'm not sure I wouldn't have been voting for the mini-golf myself if I was there.

Where There is Smoke There is Fire

The other day I was watching TV and chatting with people when I hear the fire alarm going off. Azrael high-tails it to the bedroom. I grab my wallet, keys and cell phone. Then I head out the door. My neighbour was also heading out the door at the same time. We ran into Leslie, one of the superintendents. She started saying that if it was a real fire they'd be knocking on everyone's doors. So the impression I got is that it was a false alarm and we could stay inside and carry on with our lives. Now I thought that was the worst thing she could be advising.

Last June when there really was a fire they weren't knocking on doors to get people out. In fact the alarm had been going off for over 30 minutes when I realized it was a real fire. Plus with all the apartments in the building it takes a long time for them to knock on everyone's doors. You are better off leaving when you hear the alarm. That way you are not gambling on your own safety. Plus the alarm is not that pleasant to listen to endlessly.

I told her I was going outside any ways. If I am not mistaken Leslie went back in her apartment. When I got into the stairwell I heard someone say there was a fire on the 8th floor. Then I knew I was making the right decision. I got outside and could still see the smoke from the 8th floor. Three fire trucks show up. I could hear the transmissions and the fire was already out but there were people that had to be treated for smoke inhalation so I wasn't sure how long until they would allow people back in the building.

I called SS and we went out for coffee. Well would've except that Timmy's no longer sells Coke. They now have a deal with Pepsi. So I wound up at Sobey's getting my Coke. Then we went down to Little Lake for a while. By the time we got back we were allowed back in.

Turns out it was a grease fire. Everyone is fine and they managed to get the pet out of the apartment too. I must say that this is the first building I have lived in where there has been a real fire. I lived in a ghetto neighbourhood in London and never had a problem. Times Square had the most false alarms but none that were real. This is now the third fire in less then a year and a half. Okay so the second one was the garbage outside and didn't require an evacuation but still.

Maybe I should find another place to live. But I can't afford first and last and I really don't want to sign another lease at the moment. So as long as no one actually burns the entire place down it's all good.

Got Out to Vote

Today I went out to vote. I wasn't sure I really wanted to. I am still pretty apathetic about it and am not sure that any of them are saying anything that will really benefit me. But I know that if I don't make the effort I really can't complain about what decisions are made and what laws are passed. So I did my civic duty and got out to vote.

Just Another Day

The other night I was on my way out to McDonald's. I am really wishing that more restaurants were open late so I could get a little variety on my late night runs. I'm not sure that eating that much McDonald's is good for you. Not that McDonald's and my diet had anything to do with this post... but whatever. So on my way out the superintendant gets in the elevator with me. I ask what floor he is going to and he too is heading down to 1. It seems that someone (or more then 1) have lit the garbage on fire and now it's burning. Just in case you weren't reading my blog back then this isn't really a new thing. I posted about the arson back in June of 2006. Now that time around the recycling was still in the building and someone decided to torch it causing damage to the building. This time around it was the garbage bin out back that was set on fire. Just another day around here.

Speaking of the apartment they are super speedy at fixing things too. Now when I had the leak in the kitchen they got to it fairly quickly. I had to go for a weekend without being able to use the kitchen sink but it wasn't a big deal and I had said it was okay. Then at the beginning of this week I started having trouble draining the kitchen sink. I reported it on Tuesday and figured it wouldn't take long before they came in to add the Drano. Supposedly the building maintenance guy came by but I didn't answer. Now a) why do they never call to give me advance notice? and b) why did they not tell him I had given permission to enter if I wasn't home. So he promised that he would come by today. Did he show up? Nope. As much as I might not want to do dishes I really don't want them sitting on the counter indefinitely either. So I took matters into my own hands and went down to Zellers. Picked up some Drano and poured it down the sink. So far so good. But then I'm not entirely sure that it wasn't an issue with the sewer system in the building and caused by someone else's apartment since it was backing up when I wasn't even running water. Either way I thought that the reason I paid so much for rent was so that I didn't have to fix my own issues. That was supposed to be a perk.

At the Movies

Over the weekend I went to see Resident Evil: Extinction with Adam. I have never played the video games but Adam was pretty happy to see them introduce the crows into the movie. I own the other two movies so it was really a no-brainer that I was going to see the movie... or just wait for it to come out. I must say that I really liked it. It's pretty graphic though so it's no wonder it got an 18+ rating in Canada.

Tuesday nights are cheap nights at the theater. So I went to see Eastern Promises on Tuesday. Now throughout most of the movie I was wondering why it too got an 18+ rating. Granted it was a Cronenberg film and was about a crime family. And then came the fight in the steam bath and all doubts as to the rating was quickly removed. Stylistically it is different then what we have come to expect from Hollywood. If you want something that is nice and neatly packaged then you may want to go see something else. If you want something that is gritty and leaves things open for interpretation then you just might want to check it out. But it's definitely not for the squeamish.

So Much to Say

Right now I have so much to say..... But unfortunately I am not able to. It's not that I want to be cryptic. I just don't have much of a choice. Being a public forum I can't take the chance of the wrong person finding out. It has definitely been a rough week though. I feel like I am in the middle of a war of attrition and I want nothing more then for it to be over. I'm just gritting my teeth and surviving.

For Sale: One Country

You never know what you are going to find for sale on eBay. You can buy a straight jacket, bulletproof vest, cedar casket, or voodoo doll, just to name a few. This week you could even buy yourself a country. A disgruntled voter put the country of Belgium on the auction block. He wanted to raise awareness of the power struggle between the French and the Flemmish and how it seems to be tearing the country apart. Bids were up to $14 million before the listing was removed by eBay.

Short Lived Victory

On Monday Bill 183 finally came into effect. It meant that adoption records were unsealed and adoptees and biological parents could request that information. As I have said before this is something that most people take for granted. But for many who are adopted they have no idea and everything is a mystery. Fortunately, I have had contact with my biological mother but many others have not been so lucky. Unfortunately, just 2 days later the bill was quashed in a superior court on the grounds that it violates the guarantee to individual privacy that is a part of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. The child who was given up for adoption had no choice in the matter. Why are they now being denied the right to find out who they are? Where are their rights? It is not about opening up access to the general public, but only to the parties involved. As much as I don't want to see it even if they put a disclosure veto in so that individuals can request the information not be released. That would still be better then nothing. So the beginning of the week started with a high... and now it brings with it a crushing blow.

Ringles

I really am beginning to think that the recording industry is just stupid and unwilling to embrace the world of technology. Their new saviour: Ringles. They are trying to resurrect singles and combining it with a ringtone. So for $5.98 or $6.98 you will be able to buy a CD with 3 songs, 1 of which will be a ringtone... So really you're getting 2 songs. First of all that seems really expensive for me. You can buy most full length CDs for $10-$15 and get about 10 songs. So I'm not sure how this will save the industry. Secondly, more and more people are downloading their music. That is just reality. Fight it all they want... But look at the success of iTunes. It allows you to buy the entire album or individual songs. I have 30 GB of music on my external hard drive and while I may not own an iPod I have 1 GB of music on an SD card that I insert into my PDA and play it from there. I don't own a stereo any more and, instead, stream the music from the computer through the AirPort Express and into my speakers. I'm not even sure what the last CD I bought from a store was.... Papa Roach Paramour Sessions perhaps. More and more I am buying the music from iTunes. More often then not it costs less, provides instant gratification, and I am just going to be putting the songs on my computer any ways. Besides it means I don't have to create space for albums that I am not going to look at again any ways. I mean sure the racks look nice... and it shows people that visit my materialistic side... but I have embraced the digital world. It is time for the recording industry to do the same. It's a brave new world out there.

Infinity

Last night while trying to sleep I was doing my usual nightly routine of thinking about random things until eventually I just fell asleep. It's no wonder I need medication to sleep since I can't shut my brain off. For whatever reason I was thinking about death and what it would be like when all brain activity stops. It went along with my thoughts on the afterlife and the thought that it continues of for infinity with no end. My brain just couldn't comprehend either of them. It was just too much. Everything here is finite. Part of me also wonders whether I would want something to last forever. I can't even think about it.... It just blows my mind.

Conception Day

Now I just had to report on this story. Apparently a Russian province is getting ready for "Family Contact" day (AKA "Conception Day"). So Wednesday is a good time to procreate and the hope is that you would be giving birth on Russia's Constitution Day. This year the governor of that province awarded prizes like televisions and ATVs to families who had babies on June 12rh. There are a series of concerts and exhibitions planned to promote family values and employers are encouraged to give their employees the day off. Wonder if they get paid for the day off...

As a side note to this story 2/3 of Russian men are intoxicated when they die. Russia is also one of the only places where the life expectancy has decreased over the last 15 years instead of increased. So as a result they are fighting a decline in population. You can thank my social work class on addictions for these tidbits of information.

All I can think right now is Ready... Set.... Go... and Have fun! :)

Smart Pop Commercial

I was watching TV the other day, like usual and one of the commercials was for Smart Pop popcorn by Orville Redenbacher. Apparently it has the health check stamp of approval. The ad said, "There is literally no down side." And all I could think was that the statement was true... as long as you don't turn the microwave on. In case you're wondering why I would say that check out my post here for more details. I wanted to upload the commercial but I couldn't find it. Some days I love advertising... just not always for the reason they want me to.

Something Seems Wrong with This Picture

Troubleshooting 101

I was having some random issues with the computer as of late. Applications quitting on me... not being able to burn disks all the time... just some weird issues. I had run the disk utility and there were no errors. Now for my version of troubleshooting. Rather then go through the normal range of troubleshooting steps I decided to skip to the end and just do an erase and install. All my data is kept on an external drive and it was easy enough to back up the settings for applications. Plus I had to back up my mail. Did a custom install and in the time it took me to write the last post it was done. 20 minutes, instead of the usual 45. Of course I chose not to install most of the applications which helps. And now it's time to reinstall the applications I want.

The Good, The Bad, and the Frustrating

As of late I have been turning off the air conditioner at night to conserve energy and because it had been cooling down. Then suddenly we were back in the middle of a heat wave. I must say that I also rediscovered just how much Azrael does not like the air conditioner. As soon as I turned it off he went back to sleeping on my bed. Thursday night I had turned it off but it was so warm that I wound up not being able to sleep. Ordinarily that wouldn't be a big deal since I don't have to be up in the morning. But Friday I was going out to lunch with Suzanne so I had to be up. Ever notice that when you have to be up it becomes harder to fall asleep and stay asleep? It's like you are subconsciously pressuring yourself to sleep and it's counter productive.

So by the time Suzanne got there I was tired. It was a very nice lunch at Montana's. I do typically enjoy seeing my sister. And she brought with her good news. Then it was off to a couple of stores and over to pick up Nixie. I'm not sure what was with mom but she seemed to be on the attack with me. It was a short visit and then Nixie wanted to see Azrael. So the visit was good overall.

After they left it dawned on me that I needed to pick up a few things. Thursday night I also discovered that there is a leak in the pipes in the kitchen. The good news is that I had a bucket underneath the sink that caught most of the water. The bad news is that the bucket was also filled with cleaning supplies. Not everything could be salvaged. I also wanted to pick up some hangers after my shopping spree at Valu Village. So I head out. Now it is incredibly windy and I am in pain since I have been doing a lot of walking all week... and lately I really haven't gotten out much. But I go out any ways. When I get near Zellers I discover that the power is out and all the stores are closed. So Zellers is closed. By this point I am cursing. I don't want to just turn around and leave empty handed. So I trek on. Shoppers Drug Mart was also closed. Then I got to the mall which had reopened. Couldn't find most of what I was looking for there. So I had to go back to Zellers any ways. By then it was re-opened. Definitely a frustrating experience.

There was also a big meeting on Friday and I was hoping to find out what the outcome was.... but as of right now still no word. I am in limbo at the moment and really want an answer. I guess God is really teaching me patience at the moment.

New Facebook Settings

When I logged into Facebook the other day I realized that there was something new... something that concerns me a little. I have already run full force into the privacy issues so to find out that limited profiles are going to be searchable from all the major search engines. Their argument is that this information is already available when someone does a search. But... that information is only available if someone already has a Facebook account. Raise your hand if you have used Google (or Yahoo, or any other search engine) to search for someone. Or maybe I am the only one... More importantly, companies will use search engines to find out background information about an applicant. While that information may have already been accessible to people with a Facebook account now the recruiter knows that the information is there and has more of a motivation to create an account... just to check up on this candidate. Think it's far fetched? Think again. Just like that information that you think is "private" may not be. There was a case in the States where the employer (a state agency) used the Patriot act to bypass the privacy settings on Facebook to view ALL of the information. My concern is that people think that it is nothing more then social networking and you can say whatever you want without consequence... But it's a false sense of security as I learned. If you haven't done so already you might want to change your privacy settings so that it can't be searched outside of Facebook.

Big Brother is Watching

No I am not referring to the CBS show Big Brother. A little while ago I posted about what I would do if I was a politician. The same day I posted it I had a hit from the government. I suspect that certain keywords are flagged and they investigate any time those words are used. I'm still undecided how concerned I should be that they monitor posts... I am sure that they also monitor certain searches as well. In the post 9/11 era we are a lot more accepting of the loss of freedom and privacy. It's entirely possible that they would have been monitoring it just as much back then but we are more tolerant of it.

Popcorn: A Deadly Food

I was looking up the latest news on Yahoo's web site. Talk about the changing landscape with more people getting their news from the internet. But that is a whole other conversation. One of the articles was talking about how popcorn could really be hazardous to your health... at least microwaved popcorn.

Supposedly it is related to the butter flavor that is used and the fumes that are emitted when it is microwaved. The consumer developed lung disease after microwaving bags of extra butter flavor popcorn several times a day for years. I have to stop right there and ask the question that I am sure is on everyone's minds. Who eats that much popcorn? Seriously. I can handle it on occasion but I can't even finish a bag... let alone several bags a day, every day, for years. How could that be good for you? Apparently his condition stabilized after giving up the popcorn.

What scares me even more is that there is a condition called "popcorn lung." There are lawsuits in regards to workers at food factories exposed to the chemicals used for flavoring in popcorn. It should be noted that Weaver Popcorn Inc. has said it will replace the butter flavor in response to consumer concerns. The next time you want to make some popcorn it may not be as healthy as you think. And now... I'm feeling kind of hungry.

Presents With My Purchase

I went down to Valu Village today. They had a 50% off sale. Always a good time to go down there and revamp the wardrobe. I bought a jacket there and decided to check the pockets. Got a nice present in the pocket. Not quite as nice as Lesley's. Instead I found someone's bank records. Guess they had over $1000 in their account from a tax return. I tossed it in the trash. I suppose it would have been nice of me to shred it or something. But at least now if someone is looking to steal an identity it won't be mine.

Speeding Up to Slow Down

I was walking down Landsdowne St. earlier today. I was watching all these cars speed down the road. Then I heard the sound of a train coming. Guess those tracks really are still in use. It got me thinking that all these people are speeding just to end up slowing down. And since there is no Via rail they were going to be waiting a while. In turn it got me thinking about the number of cars in use. Everywhere I looked it was like a sea of cars. More often then not there was only one person in the vehicle as well. What is the cost?

We really do live in a consumer society... Consume... consume... consume.... without any real thought to the consequences. This is just one more example. I understand the need for vehicles at times, and in certain locations. But there are times when the rest of us could actually take a walk, get some fresh air and exercise, and leave the car at home. Well okay I don't drive so that is pretty much my reality any ways.

The emphasis tends to be me and not we. We focus so much on "me" and looking out for number one that we don't stop and think about the impact on other people. We take cars when we're just going down the street because it's more convenient. It only takes 5 minutes to drive when it might take 15 to walk. It's also habit. We're lazy. Why walk when you can drive? Right now we really can't see the environmental cost of these decisions because we also tend to focus on the short term... the here and now. If we can't see it then maybe it won't really happen.

The car culture also leads to a social impact. Now this is more just speculation on my part but I would bet that the amount of driving that we do leads people to have less patience and more aggressive behaviour, as evidenced by the road rage. It's also more isolating. At least when you are walking down the street you can talk to, or at least acknowledge those people around you.

So what would I like to see? I would like to see more people taking a walk instead of grabbing their car keys. The environment and society will thank you later.

How to Get Fired

Last month's Wired had an emphasis on "How to" with Martha Stewart. It included how to get fired. However, it all started after the pink slip. Sure it is good to know how to negotiate AFTER the event.... Here is a quick way to get you to that point.

1. Own a Mac
2. Create an album in iPhoto with your favourite images... Include pictures that management will not approve of. For instance that picture you took of the boss at the Christmas party during the limbo competition. Or those drunken shots taken with PhotoBooth that you thought were so entertaining. Or any one of 100 different images.
   
3. Have an internet connection
4. Sign up at http://www.facebook.com
5. Download and install the iPhoto to Facebook exporter
6. Click on the album that was created in step 2. Go to file --> export and choose to export to Facebook. Create a new album with the name of the iPhoto album and export.
7. Click on the link to go to Facebook.
8. Select all of the pictures. Who needs to look at the pictures? They're for everyone else to look at.
9. Approve them all.
10. Wait for the pink slip

Now the more time that passes between step 2 and step 6 the more likely you are to unintentionally post a controversial picture. For maximum effect make sure you do not enable any privacy settings.

Just for added effect you can also get your very own pink slip voodoo doll. With it you can really become the master of your own fate at the workplace. If you want to keep your job then you can use it to be passed over. But if you want a pink slip then you can use the doll to help you attain that. In some workplaces displaying it will work even better.

I take no responsibility for the outcome of your actions. Nor can I promise that you will get what you want. If I could do that I would be rich by now. So take my suggestions with a grain of salt... although in the case of a voodoo doll isn't it better to be safe then sorry?

Relaxation 101

What a cutie... Azrael really does know how to get me to relax. The other day I was in the middle of writing an email when he decided that he wanted my attention. Azrael really is a lap cat. I was reminded that the email can wait.... I was also reminded that my life does not revolve around technology and being on my computer all the time. I was rediscovering the meaning of the word relax. Right now he is giving me the evil eye from the cable box. Or he is planning to reclaim his lap... not sure which quite yet.

My Heart Breaks...

Every time I listen to the song "Cut" by Plumb and/or watch the video I posted on self-injury it tugs at the heart strings. I feel like my heart is breaking. I know all too well the isolation that comes from being a self-injurer. The video reminds me that we are not alone.

I recently made the comment to someone, "At least I haven't gone back to the self-injury. All other coping mechanisms are socially acceptable." It's sad to think about the truth behind that statement. I can starve myself and people just associate it with stress... or the media's portrayal of the perfect body image. I can have indiscriminate sex with strangers, subjecting myself to god knows what but that's okay. I have the freedom to choose who I am having sex with and what sexual practices I am engaging in. If I choose narcotics then people tend to have sympathy and blame it on the brain and the nature of addictions. I can even drink to alcohol poisoning (and have) but that is acceptable. "Cheers"

Self-injury is just another negative way of coping. I don't endorse it or condone it but, at least for me, it can be less destructive then some of those other ways of coping. Anything to excess is unhealthy. So why is there such a stigma to self-injury? I suspect that it is a lack of understanding. People don't understand how someone can take a razor blade and intentionally cut themselves so it must be abhorrent. Since it's not a suicide attempt it must be attention seeking? Wrong. It is simply a way to cope, pure and simple. It is used when faced with overwhelming emotions.. in some cases it is to prevent suicide.

As an example of the stigma attached to self-injury is evidenced in the way I was treated at work back in January, 2006. It was a bad time period in my life. I couldn't deal with anything and eventually was tempted to go back to the self-injury. I gave a friend of mine (who happened to be a co-worker) the knife to remove the temptation. Then the shit hit the fan. Someone else found out and thought I needed an intervention. There was a big scene at work (I happened to be off for days) and management got involved. When I came back to work (feeling much better I might add) I was told that they considered me a risk to myself or others. It was an x-acto knife.... an office supply. They sent me off work and I was blackmailed into being on anti-depressants. In the end I was off for seven weeks and had to be cleared by a psychiatrist to return to work. For more details I had a blog about it which can be found here. I was humiliated and isolated. What makes this story even more tragic is the fact I never even went back to the self-injury. The temptation had passed by the time I had returned to work. Even human resources, who are supposed to be the advocates of the employees, stigmatized me and made me feel like a social pariah. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Drink yourself to death. Starve yourself. Have sex without protection. But whatever you do.... don't intentionally cut yourself.

It has been over a year now. I still have days when I am tempted. I treat it more as an addiction now then I ever used to. I wear an orange and white bracelet to remind me that I am in recovery and that it is a process. So when I hear the stories of others my heart goes out to them. I understand their pain and isolation. Trying to make it through this life. There is one image in the video that stays with me and I want to leave you with what it said. "Only God can judge me."

Army Recruiting

I was just watching the show "Murder" on Spike and noticed an awful lot of Army ads. At first I thought I was just noticing it more because I had just read an article in Adbuster comparing the recruiting ads of the Canadian, British and American military. Then it dawned on me. Spike TV is geared towards males, especially young males. So the army is just using their advertising dollars to target the best demographic. I'm not sure how effective it is but hey I can always watch Spike and avoid watching commercials for maxi pads complete with the blue liquid.

Distracted Daydreamer or ADHD Child

I have said before that I do not like labels, especially in children. See my comments here and here. The other day I came across a discussion about ADD and temperament. It challenged the idea that ADD was a disorder and instead suggested that it might be based on temperament. That's not to say that there aren't certain people that really should be diagnosed with ADD or ADHD since a diagnosis is given when something is maladaptive. Supposedly the 4 most common MBTI types to be diagnosed with ADD are INFP, INTP, ENFP, and ENTP. Notice any commonalities there? The ?N?P. The overreliance on intuition can lead to daydreaming, jumping from one idea to another, or focusing on the internal world instead of paying attention to those around them. Did you say something? *lol* Extraverted SPs may be diagnosed with ADD as well but for opposite reasons. They will be over-attentive to their senses and find it difficult to focus on abstract ideas. INFPs are most likely to identify themselves as ADD even though they represent only 1% of the population. INFPs are also more likely to suffer from depression.

MBTI Type Descriptions for the 4 Types

ENFP: "Muckraker"
Creator of hype, distortion, and the perversion of media of information to be wallows of mindless emotionalism.

INFP: "Fanatic"
Always searching for an Answer with a capital A. Unlike the INFJ, they are usually openminded enough to realize the current one isn't good enough after a few years.

ENTP: "Frankenstein"
The salvation of the world is to be found in this new nanotronic frannistan, of which he just happens to have an almost-working model...

INTP: "Nerd"
What? you mean people actually talk to each other using mouths and ears instead of keyboards????

MBTI Prayers

INFP: God, help me to finish everything I sta
ENFP: God, help me to keep my mind on one th - Look a bird - ing at a time.
INTP: Lord, help me be less independent, but let me do it my way.
ENTP: Lord, help me follow established procedures today. On second thought, I'll settle for a few minutes.

Plumb
Cut

I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore

A fragile flame aged
Is misery
And when our hearts meet
I know you see

I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut

I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside

I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
Pain
I am not alone
I am not alone

I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore

But I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I found it when
I was cut

This was taken from an interview with Plumb about the song "Cut."

RS: They also remixed the song off the album called Cut, which is about a really strong subject like Damaged. Tell us a little bit about the song Cut?
Plumb: It's more or less that a fan on the message board said she was a cutter and she was asking if there was anyone else out there that was a cutter and she had a huge response from some people. Self-cutting is unfortunately a growing form of abuse. She said in her message that her family doesn't understand, her friends don't understand and even sometimes she doesn't understand, but just sometimes she feels so numb inside, just to feel alive she wants to cut the skin. That was just so powerful and poetic to me that it was the inspiration behind Cut, and I certainly didn't write it because I understand it completely and I know how to fix that problem. It was more or less to create conversation so that when someone hears it, if nothing else they feel less alone knowing that there's someone else out there like them going through a similar thing and to give them a tool to start talking about it. Because that's one of the first steps of healing, is to be able to communicate and write it out and talk it out and have a conversation about it. So if nothing else, that would be a goal of the song. It's already doing that and I'm really excited about it.

You are Not Alone

Warning: Potentially triggering images. I came across this video on YouTube and wanted to share it with others. I thought it was a powerful video and also raises awareness on self-injury. Kudos to the author on a job well done. The song used is "Cut" by Plumb. Hope it makes you think and reduces the stigma faced by anyone that self-injures.

If I was a Politician...

There is an upcoming election in Ontario. I feel pretty apathetic towards it... much like I do every other election. My apathy isn't because I don't care who is in power it's because time and time again the things that matter to me aren't on their agenda. So I feel like I am just lost in the sea of nothingness and in the end it doesn't matter who is in power because the changes I want to see aren't going to happen no matter who wins. So what do I want?

I'll start with the one that will be on the agenda.... Improved health care. I would like to see less of a wait time at the hospital. I would also like more doctors available in private practice. As a side note I would also like to see some sort of drug plan for low-income families that has a lower deductible then the Trillium Drug Plan. Health care should be affordable by all.

Dental coverage should be affordable. It is well known that dental problems will lead to other health issues in time. There are no options available to you if your employer does not pay for dental coverage (or if you're on welfare). If it was more affordable then some of those health issues could be avoided. I know, I know.... social assistance programs and health care are already in trouble.

Create more jobs in the Ministry of Labour investigating claims. Currently it takes 6-8 months for them to even begin an investigation because of a backlog in claims. This only benefits the employer and allows them to continue violating the Employment Standards Act in the meantime. In the 6-8 months said employee may choose to seek employment elsewhere or may just give up on the claim. In cases of dismissal it is even more time sensitive. Plus in 6-8 months details may be lost, memories have faded. It can even mean reliving a painful experience. So.... hire more people and reduce that backlog.

Failing that change the law to allow you to drop your complaint beyond the two week mark and file a lawsuit. In a perfect world the 2 week time period is used to allow you to try and work things out with the employer and decide whether or not to pursue the claim. After the two weeks they begin the investigation. So it makes sense that once they have assigned someone to the case that you not be able to just drop the case in favour of legal action. But when new evidence emerges and they are backlogged in some cases it would make sense to be able to drop the complaint and file suit. This would potentially reduce at least some of the pressure from the Ministry of Labour.

Where do I even begin with student loans? Basically I think that they should adopt the 8 points from the Coalition for Student Loan Fairness. When I was in school it was more like a fairy tale. You think you're going to get this nice job when you're done so you don't think about all the debt load you are accumulating. The reality isn't quite so pretty. For one I think that the interest rate should be reduced. Assuming that I don't end up renegotiating my loan I will end up paying about $15,000 in interest over the course of my loan. Secondly, there should be more opportunities for debt reduction programs and interest relief based on hardships. They admitted to me that they do not take cost of living into account when determining whether or not you qualify for interest relief. In the last 3 years the allowable income for interest relief has also not increased to reflect inflation. If a mistake is made it is the borrower that pays, and pays heavily. I have been practically forced into bankruptcy and had my credit rating destroyed because of an error on their part. Thirdly, consolidate all the loans. Right now I have 4 different loans to keep track of and make payments on. Lastly, disability should not be limited to those which occur in the first 6 months and should not take numerous appeals. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. A disability at any point should be counted.

And now I have said my peace. with the exception of health care none of these will likely be seen in anyone's campaign. I lied... Apparently the NDP wants to implement a dental care program for those in need. The NDP are also planning to freeze tuition. Now the Liberals are increasing the funding available for student aid. That is somewhat alarming since more aid typically means more owed down the road. Now they did say that they were increasing grants and loan forgiveness... I heard that too.... and I didn't necessarily see it. They are also working at reducing wait times for certain procedures and have brought in family health teams. I still have no idea what a family health team means or does.... and I just read over the official government information. I am not sure what differences there are in plans for health care between Liberals and Conservatives other then that the latter also wants to introduce electronic records so that data can be shared more easily. Sounds good until the computer crashes. Any ways... a lot of the platforms just sound like the same old rhetoric. The parties point to the flaws from the other guys to make themselves look better and focus on the BIG issues in the media... like health care. There is no Band-Aid solution that is going to make that situation magically get better. It's not Lucky Charms here. But there are a lot of other issues that are just ignored, like the plight of former students. All I can think of now is "Magically Delicious"

Free Health Care, Or Is It?

As I previously mentioned I spent Friday at the hospital. Every time I spend time in the ER it always makes me think of the health care system here in Canada. It wasn't that long ago that being fast tracked actually meant that you were fast tracked. Now I have had times when it was a half hour just to see the triage nurse. Get the handy dandy wristband and you're off to the main waiting area. Then an hour later (or so) you are moved to the fast track area for more waiting. Fours hours (or so) later you're on your way home. Last time I checked the fast track was designed to get you in and out if it was something minor that could be easily checked/treated. So how did we get here?

There is a doctor shortage in many regions at the moment. Too many doctors are heading south or are going to the big cities where they can make more money. This is the reason my doctor is 2 hours away and I never see. The long and the short of it is that we need more doctors.... We need accessible health care. If I had a local doctor I wouldn't have to make use of the ER nearly as often. The same holds true of a number of other people as well. Let's face it if I had a local doctor on Friday I would've been making an appointment to see them instead of clogging up the ER but it's not feasible to drive all the way to Pickering because of a toothache/congestion.

They say that you can't put a price tag on health. But what if you can't afford it? If you have drug coverage count yourself lucky... or if you rarely need medications. I would love nothing more then to be healthy but that takes money. It cost me $43 for the antibiotics from my trip to the hospital on the weekend. I haven't even filled the prescription for my Fibromyalgia medication. Speaking of which there is a treatment clinic in Toronto that would allow me to get personal care and nerve blocking injections. But it costs money to get there and for the medication. So it's a vicious circle. Being healthy would make it easier to look for a job and feel at my best but it requires money.

The same holds true for dental care as well. I really need to get the tooth looked at but I can't afford to. I don't have $200 to spend on it... or $1000 if they wanted to crown the tooth instead. Oh to have a job with dental coverage again. Even once I go back to the land of the working most jobs require that you be there for a year before you get dental coverage.

It costs money to be healthy. While our access to a doctor, even if it means waiting four hours, might be free that's the only thing that is. If I was on social assistance instead of EI then I would have drug coverage. How does that work? I paid into EI on all my paycheques and while it does pay more then welfare at least on social assistance I would have drug coverage and dental coverage. I have discovered that there is the Trillium Drug Program in Ontario. However, with my current income there is a deductible of about $450. So I would have to spend $450 on medications before they would kick in and help out. At which point prescriptions (as long as they're on the list) would be covered and it would only cost me $2 to get the prescription filled. While there is no harm in applying for it there is little chance that my medications would reach that high. Even if it did I don't have that kind of money any ways. Pretty sad when you see prescriptions as a luxury item in the grand scheme of things.