Taking in Strays

I'm starting to think I should stop taking in strays, especially the human variety. I seem to have this helper personality no matter what it costs me. I want to save people... even though I can't. More importantly, I seem to have trouble saying no. That's why I can't get rid of Steve. I keep hoping that he'll just go away and leave me alone... knowing full well tht it won't happen. I don't want to make anyone angry either. It's like I am the peacemaker.

But just to make things more interesting... I was online last week trying to find out Christie's email address. I never have my MSN on. Tristan was online and messaged me. Then he told me he was about to be homeless. Me, being me, offered to let him stay here until he had somewhere to go. It's who I am. I can't bear the thought of someone living on the street when I could've let them stay here. Don't worry I am not planning to pick up any other strays along the way... He is more then enough for me. When he first moved in he said it would be for few days or at most until the end of the month... Well it has been more then a few days so I am hoping the end of the month really does hold true. But he seems to be eating me out of house and home. It's pretty irritating actually. There is nothing that aggravates me more then a mooch, especially one that is a roommate. When I go grocery shopping it is just for me. So I buy the things I want to eat and expect that I am going to be the one to enjoy them. I just went grocery shopping on the weekend so that I might not have to go during my vacation and so I could stock up. Tristan had said he was also going grocery shopping that day so I didn't think much of it. But so far he has yet to buy anything at all... yet more and more of my food is disappearing. I'm almost scared to cook dinner in case he is expecting some. I come home from work and the leftovers I expect to be eating are gone. It was one of the things that bothered me when we were together. I seemed to be supporting him. I let him stay here since he said it wouldn't be like that. Just pull on the heart strings and I let them in... where they can use and abuse me. he can afford to be with friends... and smoke... but can't afford food... where are the priorities? He promised me that he would do dishes... that hasn't happened either.

I was supposed to be relaxing and enjoying my upcoming vacation. I suspect that is going to be very difficult unless something changes. Waking up at 6 am to the alarm so he can go to work. Then trying to sleep for another couple of hours until I have to go to work. It's hard to relax when I am at home. Just thinking about going home, when I am at work, irritates me. It shouldn't be like that. It's my home... and I know I should stand up to him... If he's going to live here the least he can do is buy groceries... and keep in mind that it is temporary. I don't think I had realized just how much I like my freedom and independance until he showed up and started taking advantage of my generousity. I like having the place to myself... just me an Azrael. Knowing that what I bought I get to use... (or eat) and not having to deal with someone else. I am also realizing that when you are not in a relationship with a person you don't have to tolerate as much. I accepted a lot more of this BS when we were together... but now I am just someone trying to be nice. I was nice enough to take him in... my kindness only goes so far though. I don't owe him anything... in fact he already owes me a great deal as it is... August 1 he better be out the door. Too bad my vacation will be over by then.