Speaking of Missing Money

While on the same topic.... I received my termination pay last week. I must say the letter made me feel all warm and fuzzy. And then I promptly went out and bought a Playstation 3. But any ways.... On the cheque there was a deduction for RRSPs. Now RRSPs are a good thing. However, I no longer have an account with Standard Life. I closed it back in July and transferred the money to the bank. And right now I would rather just have the $280. So I call Standard Life and they have no record of it. Hmm... so where's the money? On an off chance I call my former company.... but not the local office. I call corporate. First I get told that the money would not have even been sent to Standard Life yet. It would be next month. So since it hasn't been sent yet I ask if it can not be sent ever.... and just be sent to me. Now the person I was speaking with couldn't do that but was trying to find the contact info for the person that could. She wasn't able to locate it but took my name and number and is going to get them to call me. So we'll see what happens there. I don't want to be fighting to get the money back. And if it is sent to Standard Life I will only receive 50% back. The other 50% will have to go into a locked-in RRSP. So now I am crossing my fingers and hoping.

More Woes from AppleCare

Don't worry there is nothing wrong with my computer at the moment. Last week I got an invoice in the mail from Apple. It appeared to be a credit for my AppleCare. Guess my letter to CR and to Apple Canada worked. They were refunding what was left of the AppleCare. Since the invoice was dated on November 12, 2007 I checked all of my credit cards to see if there was any new funds on it. There wasn't. So then I had Steve check his credit card since that was the one I used to purchase the computer. Nada. The next day I called and spoke to CR. They told me that it was being refunded through PayPal and weren't sure how long it would take. Was told to contact PayPal about it. Nothing like passing the buck. But since I hadn't checked my PayPal account I was fine with that. So I check. Nothing there either. So I wait.... and today I call Apple again. It's like pulling teeth. First of all the person I spoke with was incredibly rude. She cut me off and placed me on hold without even getting my permission to do so. Not that I would've said no but "please hold" and then click is not very nice and I am pretty sure that their policy (unless it's different then tech support) does not allow that. So once again she tells me that the money is being sent to PayPal. Won't even confirm that they even used the right email address. Starts comparing it to sending out a cheque or a credit card payment. Anyone that has used PayPal before knows that as soon as money is sent to your email address you receive a notice and can log into PayPal to claim the amount. It's pretty much instantaneous. Considering the invoice date is from over 2 weeks ago I can guarentee that I am never going to see this money unless Apple does something about it. So now I have $140 floating somewhere.... It would be nice to actually receive that money. Bring the whole painful Apple experience to a conclusion. And just in case you're wondering you can still see the burn mark on my leg.... so I doubt it's ever going to completely heal.

The Job Front

This has been a stellar week so far. I found out about the labour board dispute yesterday. While it's not entirely the resolution I had been hoping for it was about the best I could hope for. And it does mean that I will be getting about $2000 at some point. Definitely looking forward to that. Then today there was a hiring fair going on at Teleperformance for their technical support position. So I went down for that.

First I got lost. The building is really confusing. I had to ask someone how to get to the main office. Then I went in to drop off my resume and the receptionist was really friendly. That was a change. Wasn't expecting that. Spent about 30 minutes or so filling in the application, agreeing to the police check, and filling out several tests. Then I had to do a typing test. Got 53 wpm with an accuracy of 99%. Pretty excited about that actually. Since it was the job fair I even had the interview today. Susan really didn't ask me any questions. I guess that's a good sign. *lol* I am supposed to go back tomorrow for a tour and more paperwork. So I'm going to go with the fact I am employed again.... unless I find out differently tomorrow.

The job starts on Monday which is really short notice. I was hoping for another week so that I would get the EI in time to pay rent. Doesn't look like that will be the case. But it's not like I am turning down a job so I can pay rent on time. I'll just have to talk to the landlord and let them know that it will be late and explain why that is the case. It will cost more in the end. But hey it looks like I have a job again.

Welcome to the Real World

As many of you are aware back in March I lost my job. Well technically I didn't really lose it. I know exactly where it went and why it disappeared. What you may not know, since I really didn't want it to be public knowledge, is that I was fighting back. I felt that it was unfair and that I was being targeted. Ideally I wanted my job back... but failing that I at least wanted the termination pay.

Now I did get an apology from the parent company over my treatment there but nothing else ever came of that. Then I had someone from corporate looking into it. They dealt the final death knell for any thought of getting my job back. They also refused to admit any wrong doing. But offered me the 4 weeks salary. After careful consideration I turned it down choosing instead to let the labour board make the final decision. If they decided that it was justified then I would accept that answer. But if not then it would go on record that it was a case of wrongful dismissal and the company would be held accountable.

Such noble sentiments. I have since discovered that the labour board is on the side of the employers and will look for any loophole to screw over the employee. Okay so the wrongful dismissal is not the reason for that thought. They didn't give me my raise back in February and then fired me at the end of March. I was told I couldn't claim for any additional wages. So as long as they fire you before implementing the new wages it's okay. For the longest time I had a catch-22 at work. If I took my lunch then we wouldn't meet the mandate and it would lead to disciplinary action. So I didn't take my lunch but they didn't pay me for it either. They deducted the time. And I was told that I voluntarily chose not to take my lunch. Hmm... damned if you do and not paid if you don't.

As for the whole wrongful dismissal claim.... since they had already offered me the 4 weeks pay and to change my termination to without cause that is exactly what I'll be getting. But basically they are calling it a settlement. The company will not have to admit to any wrong doing and can even try and take the righteous high ground of "Look at us. We offered to do this and didn't have to. We wanted to bring closure to the situation." But really.... if they thought they could win and not have to pay anything they would've fought me.

Life in the real world isn't quite as black and white. There are a lot of shades of grey. But the good news is that the whole saga has now come to an end... or will once I get the cheque (which could be 6 months from now). I saw it through.... no matter how many people told me that I couldn't win and that I should just stop fighting. In the end I won.

Yet Another Toy Recall

Normally I wouldn't even comment on a toy recall or even pay any attention to it. After all I don't have any children and don't watch the news very often. But this one I feel the need to comment on.

The company Spin Master created a toy called Aqua Dots (Bindeez in Australia). I must say that I had seen the commercials prior to the recall and thought it was an interesting idea. You create various designs with the beads and then when water is added the beads fuse together.

The problem is that kids do what kids do best... they swallow the beads. According to Health Canada's web site, "Information from Australia and the United States indicates that the tiny coloured beads may be coated with a substance that can become toxic when it is ingested. Children who swallow the beads may become comatose, develop respiratory depression, or have seizures."

What they don't tell you is that the chemical coating metabolizes into gamma hydroxy butyrate or GHB. In case you're not familiar with it GHB is a common date rape drug. I am still trying to wrap my head around how it is that a children's toy... turns into a date rape drug. How is that even possible?

I am reminded of all those times on shows like CSI (or the movie Traffic) where they come up with new ways to ship drugs where it's undetectable. Was this not supposed to hit the store shelves and accidentally wound up in the hands of children? Did the scientists involved not realize what would happen? How does this happen?

As it turns out it is just another incident on account of using Chinese plants to manufacture the product. The toys were supposed to use 1,5-pentanediol, a nontoxic compound found in glue, but instead contained the harmful 1,4-butanediol, which is widely used in cleaners and plastics. Why the switch? Probably because the second one costs 1/3 of the price.

Two weeks ago the government placed an export ban on 700 toy factories in the southern Guangdong province in China because of shoddy products. Perhaps companies should be looking at the true costs of doing business and clearly changes need to be made somewhere... In this case it's especially serious since the outcome could have been fatal.

And since the toys are currently being tested in Hong Kong what happens to the supplier if the chemical is found? They face up to 1 year in prison and a fine of $12,877. Something tells me that isn't enough of a deterrent. he Chinese online trading platform ChemNet China lists the price of 1,4 butanediol at between about $1,350-$2,800 per metric ton, while the price for 1,5-pentanediol is about $9,700 per metric ton... so 2 metric tons of switching the chemicals and the fine is already paid for. Not to mention the fact it could potentially be lethal... so ~$13000 just doesn't seem enough. Shut the factory down, implement mandatory inspections, and use stiff penalties to prevent this kind of thing from happening.

Chocolate Christmas Calendars

I suddenly feel like going out and picking up one of those Advent calendars not so I can count down the days to Christmas but so I can get that piece of chocolate that is behind each door. Mmm.... chocolate. Not sure why I am craving it at the moment. I don't really eat a lot of chocolate.

Now what prompted me to think about advent calendars and the chocolate contained within it? Back to the world of Yahoo news. Seems the city of Hanover in Germany created an advent calendar. No big deal right? Except that their advent calendar includes a serial killer on it. I think I'll take the coal in my stocking from Santa Claus over the serial killer. The picture is a cartoon representation of Haarmann lurking under a tree and there is a hatchet next to the door on the calendar. The calendar is full of famous people from Hanover. But a serial killer?

Kind of makes me wonder what you get when you open that door. Do you get a chocolate? Do you get some other reminder of Christmas? Do you get fake teeth since he killed his victims by biting their necks?

Last time I checked advent calendars were usually for children. So if you survive the serial killer on December 1 you might then move on to a philosopher or musician. I think I'd be traumatized by the experience. And in case you're wondering about how the calendar is doing. Since it went public the city's tourism board has been receiving orders from all over Europe and they expect to sell out soon.

Fastest Vista Notebook

PC World recently compared notebook computers to see which one was fastest. And the winner is? The fastest Vista computer is the MacBook Pro. Say what? Yep you heard me right. The 17" MacBook Pro turned out to be the fastest computer running Windows Vista. And to think Apple doesn't care if you can run Windows on the computer. Yet it outperformed those manufacturers who rely on the Windows OS for well.... everything. Kind of makes you wonder doesn't it? For the full article you can check it out here. And now... back to my MacBook Pro. Only I'm not running any version of Windows on it.

Your Dreams Miss You

If you recognize the title then it means the marketing folks at Rozerem are doing their jobs. I must admit that I do find the commercials to be entertaining.... or maybe it's just the wise-ass beaver that's in the commercials.

Just in case you haven't figured it out yet Rozerem is a sleeping pill and they claim that it shows no risk of abuse or dependence. They have the line in the commercial, "Take when you need it and stop when you don't." From a pharmaceutical perspective that might be true. Psychologically I am not so sure. The medication I am on has similar claims. Yet I feel like I need it in order to get some sleep. It's not true but I have tricked my mind into thinking it. So if I don't take it I toss and turn all night. The other day I was commenting on my reliance on a pharmaceutical lullaby. That night I realized that I was still having trouble to fall asleep and was still waking up throughout the night.

I don't take Rozerem but I am on a mild anti-depressant to help me sleep. I find that I sleep too long and am still groggy in the morning. I feel like I did when I was in university and was taking amitryptiline. It meant I got sleep which was great but was negated by the fact I could barely function during the day. Eventually I had to go off it altogether. Right now I am contemplating that fact with the medication I am on.

But this post wasn't supposed to be about my insomnia and my medication. I was on Yahoo today and they were talking about the bad products award for 2007, as awarded by Consumers International. Leading the pack was Rozerem for promoting the use of sleeping pills in children. Seems the company ran a "back to school" commercial with children, chalkboards, and a school bus. That's bad enough but they also failed to include health warnings for children. That's low.

So I wander open to Youtube to see if I can find the commercial. I found other commercials but not that one. However, I did find a video of someone who went to a church Hallowe'en party as Abe Lincoln and his wife went as the beaver from the commercial. Can I just say WTF? I understand dressing up as a superhero or some other famous character. And I understand Abe Lincoln, sort of. He is a famous US president after all. But to go as characters from a commercial... especially the characters from a pharmaceutical commercial. That's just messed up.

Self Acualization

Today I got to thinking about my university days.... more specifically the lectures on Maslow and the Hierarchy of Needs. I need a job. There is no question there. Well I would much rather be independently wealthy but that's beside the point. Completely unrelated to Maslow, on the job front I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I stay here then I need something that pays at least $12/hour just to make ends meet.... $15 if I actually want to start paying off my student loans. Easier said then done. Most jobs pay between $8-$10 around here. And if I move somewhere else then I am looking at relocation costs, paying first and last again, etc. Since I don't drive it's not like I can commute. So I feel stuck right now and have no idea what to do.

Back to Maslow now and how that relates to the job hunt. I should be focusing all my energy on looking for work, my resume, and applying for jobs. The stress should be motivating me to get it done. Then there is Maslow. First you have to make it through the bottom hierarchy, the physiological needs. When you wonder how you're going to pay rent and buy groceries nothing else really matters. You can't focus on anything else. With EI I only make $640 every two weeks and when rent is $746 that's a problem. Rent is due in 6 days and at the moment I am wondering how exactly I am going to pay it.

Finding a new job is secondary to that. After all what good is a new job when you don't even have a roof over your head? It would be nice if EI at least paid enough to meet your basic needs. Welfare is even worse. At least then you wouldn't have to battle with the bottom level of Maslow's hierarchy and can instead focus on the second level, safety needs, which includes employment.

I don't know about other people but finances are my number 1 stressor. I'm not sure if that is because it's not entirely under my control or just because there is never quite enough. I just want to make sure that all my bills are paid. Time to practice deep breathing exercises as it stresses me out just thinking about it. Now back to the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy and trying to find a way to make ends meet.

A Few Good Men (and Women)

My homepage is set to Yahoo and that tends to be where I get my news from. There is another way? So any ways.... today there was a story about becoming a condom tester fur Durex. Seems they are looking for 1,000 volunteers. I wonder if one of the questions on the application is how often you have sex. Since clearly that is a pre-requisite to becoming a tester.

I must say when I hear "condom tester" I wonder how much of it has to do with sensation and pleasure and how much has to do with testing the condoms out to discover failure rates. That's how they'll decide which new brands to introduce to the market. *lol*

In a statement Durex said, "Applicants will be asked a series of questions to make sure they are a good fit for this dream job." Now are they getting paid for this? Since it's a job that involves having sex. So... if they are getting paid to test the condoms then they would be getting paid to have sex? Isn't there another name for that? Oh yeah.... I believe it's called prostitution.

I was going to make some gender comment about them limiting it for men but the article on Yahoo was a little misleading. It is open to women too. So I can scratch that whole thought. So if you are up for the challenge click here to apply.

Canadian Content

Some days I hate being Canadian. I can't download TV shows or movies from the iTunes music store. Granted that might actually be a good thing since it saves me money. I also can't go to CBS, ABC, NBC, or any other network and watch/download shows from them to watch later. It's my understanding that it has to do with Canadian content. To be available in Canada there has to be a certain amount of Canadian content. There aren't too many good Canadian shows. In fact for all the TV I currently watch in a week I think all the shows are US.

It doesn't end there however. Recently the Society of Composers, Authors and Music Publishers of Canada (or SOCAN) won a ruling that music downloads should be taxed to the tune of 3.1 cents per track if purchased individually and 1.5 cents per track if you purchase the entire album. They have also re-added a levy to digital audio players and to recordable media. Looks like they will also be taxing sites that offer temporary downloads and customizable radio stations.

In a nutshell the cost of downloading music is going up... since you can be sure that sites that allow you to purchase music will be increasing prices to accommodate the new tax. Not only are they adding a new tax but it is also going to be retroactive to 1996 when the music industry began pushing for the taxes.

To put this in perspective.... you purchase a CD from iTunes and pay an added tax for it. But then you want to put those songs on your iPod which you were also taxed on. Oh and how about burning it to a CD which you are also entitled to do. Yep you were taxed when you purchased those recordable disks just in case this is what you wanted to use it for. So now you have been taxed three times and this money is going to SOCAN. Wonder how much of that money is going to the artists.

3 cents isn't that big of a deal if it means that the artists get the money. But to be taxed more then once to be able to listen to that music.... well then it's getting to be a bit ridiculous. Tax it once and I might be understanding. Now they just seem greedy.

In a day and age when they are fighting a battle with piracy it seems like the wrong way to go. In Canada it is LEGAL to download all the music you want.... It might be a gray area but it is legal. Just don't upload it and you're all set. So if anything these increased taxes are just going to push more people to finding other ways to download their music... like torrents and other applications.

On the Topic of Health Care

When I woke up today I was thinking about all the health issues that I want to bring up with my doctor once I am back to work and have health coverage again. The fact I have a list says something right there about the status of health care. For one, my doctor is in Pickering which is quite a drive. Now that wouldn't stop me from going to see him but the lack of money would. I can't afford the treatment since I currently have no medical coverage. Good health care shouldn't only be for those with money. The argument is that the health care is free it's the pharmaceuticals that you have to pay for. So blame the drug companies for the disparity.

As far as the list goes I want a referral to the pain clinic in Toronto for treatment of the Fibromyalgia. A friend of mine has been going there and has found that the treatment has made a big difference. But the medications aren't cheap. Bearable when you have drug coverage but expensive when you don't. I'm also hoping that they can tell me if the fatigue really is from the Fibromyalgia or is caused by something else. It's been off and on for a decade now. Every day plagued by the same haunting desire for just a little more rest. But it's an elusive dream.

For a few months now I have also been congested. At the moment it seems to be getting worse. I've been on antibiotics for other things and it has not gone away. I'd kind of like to know if it's allergies, sinus infection, or something else.

I also want to get the cysts looked at. They keep reappearing.... or not going away at all. And when I wake up quite often there is pain in the muscles. I'm concerned about the possibility of lumps. So I'd like to get a biopsy done to rule out anything serious.

Lastly, I want to try and get him to send me in for a CAT scan or MRI. Before anyone freaks or thinks that there is something seriously wrong it should have been done a long time ago.... like 14 years. I have my reasons but I want to see if there is any lasting damage from the head injury. Oh yeah and I also haven't had an annual physical done in about 5 years... So add that to the list too.

Just a few things to discuss. And with the wonderful health care you get about 10 minutes to discuss one problem. So several trips to Pickering will be in order to get things back on track. It also got me thinking about a place in London, Ontario. When I was going to school there my boss was talking about the Shute Clinic. When you become a patient there it cost something like $200 but they shut down the practice for half a day. They do a complete medical history so you have the chance to address everything that you wanted to and they take the time to find out everything they possibly can. Makes for more complete care. Kind of too bad that more places don't do that.

The great, free health care in Canada. It seems there are a few cracks in the facade. Makes me miss my university days where I had great health care and didn't have to think about the doctor shortage or not being able to afford the medications I need.

Steal From the Losers

So now that the election is over and the Liberals are in I am thinking that it would be nice for them to steal the best ideas from their opponents platform. Little from column A and a little from column B. I'm still not going to see any reform for student loans :( but there were ideas from each party that I thought were really good.

The NDP wanted to bring in a dental plan for low-income families. My only question is where do you draw the line? There are a lot of people that do not get dental coverage from their employment and many of them can't afford the high costs of dental care yet would likely be excluded. Perhaps implement a sliding payment scale so that the more money you earn the more you have to pay but still make it low enough that people can afford the dental care. I do believe that dental care is linked to health care. Even just an untreated cavity can turn into an infection. If treatment is done early enough it prevents further problems. But if left untreated the person may wind up needing to have the tooth extracted or a root canal done. Other health problems include sinus infections and TMJ. TMJ is typically treated by dentists, often with a nightguard or possibly even surgery. But without a dentist... or the $300 for a nightguard.... it causes severe pain in the jaw and a grinding down of the teeth. I know that it would be expensive but what price can you put on health? So I would like to see a dental plan.

One of the lesser known platforms of the Conservatives was about medical records. Of course in following the media coverage did they have any platforms other then providing funding for faith based schools and bringing back Canadian trained doctors? Speaking of the idea to bring back Canadian trained doctors they left because they could make a lot more money in the States. Why spend that kind of money to try and bring them back? Would it not cost less and make more sense to bring in foreign trained doctors as long as they were properly trained? But back to the medical records. The conservatives wanted to bring in electronic records which I think makes a lot of sense. That way doctors can easily access patient records. Right now my childhood doctor has some of the records. The school has some of my records. Various hospitals have other records. And now my new family doctor also has some. It would be handy if the doctor (whether it be a family doctor, specialist, or ER doctor) could access all of the records That way they would have a more complete look at your entire medical history instead of just a brief snapshot. I would just recommend that they also keep a hard copy. I don't completely have faith in technology. But being 2007 I think it is about time that this information go electronic.

New Cat in the Jungle

For so long I have been questioning the price of Windows. At $500 for a full copy of the Ultimate Edition of Windows Vista I just shake my head and wonder why it costs so much. But as someone reminded me the last update for Windows was XP which came out back in 2000, I think. Now I still think that $500 for a new OS is a little excessive. Having said that Mac has come out with a new version of the OS every year and at $149 CAN ($129 US) a pop that adds up pretty quickly. And each upgrade typically has something worth upgrading for. Now I must say that my computer came with 10.4 so I have not had to upgrade but based on what I can see from the rumours web sites people are counting down the days to open their wallet and shell out the cash for the newest operating system.

I'm thinking that Steve Jobs is a marketing genius. $150 for a new operating system sounds so reasonable... especially when you can compare it to the price tag of Windows. There are no upgrade options, or different versions of the operating system. It costs less then an upgrade to Windows Vista. So all things considered $150 doesn't sound so bad for the latest and greatest. And a year down the road there will likely be a new cat roaming around and people lining up to buy it and bring it home.

Now there was a time when Microsoft was introducing a new operating system every year as well.... But after Windows XP they focused the efforts on Vista (Codenamed Longhorn) and there was a lengthy gap between operating systems. I could be wrong but I don't believe that a new operating system will be introduced in the Windows world in 2008.

The Cat's Out of the Bag

I was checking out some of the Mac Rumour sites. Where to go to get all the latest news. For a list of web sites that publish all the latest rumours and speculation check out this article at Wikipedia. I know that it's all about the gossip but I figure they're publishing the information any ways so why not get the latest news? It looks like the new OS, Leopard should be released on October 26th. That's not really a surprise since the release date was pushed back to October with the new iPhone and we're currently halfway through October.

What I found interesting is that this week Apple Insider reported that the support staff were now being trained on Leopard through self based modules. Now with a release date of only 2 weeks away does that leave enough time to really train the employees on the new features in the operating system? We're talking some pretty major upgrades here with Time Machine, Spaces, and Boot Camp. Looks like the folks over at MacDiner were also wondering the same thing. The other thing about self paced modules means that they are just reading about the new features and not playing with it. Perhaps it would be good to have the opportunity to install it and get to know the new OS before it's released. Just a thought.

Most of the web sites are also reporting that there are still bugs to be fixed with Leopard. So if it does in fact come out on October 26th I think I'd be wanting to hold out until at least the first update.

Politician Suffers From Foot in Mouth Disease

There was a time when I thought that Nascar was an absolute waste of time. I didn't consider it to be a real sport and I thought that the only people who watched it were true rednecks. Yes I fell victim to the stereotype. There are a lot of people that fit the stereotype but as with anything else a lot of people don't meet it. A couple of years ago if you had told me that my next vacation was going to be to a Busch race in Montreal I would've asked what drugs you were taking. And then I wound up spending time with a friend of mine who is a huge Nascar fan. Somehow I ended up watching a couple of races and the next thing you know I am at home with a weekend off and the race is on. From there it went to the opportunity to see the inaugural Busch race in Montreal and I just had to be there. It was quite the experience. There is nothing quite like the sound of the cars racing by you at 180 mph. The Days of Thunder ride at Canada's Wonderland doesn't even come close.

This weekend I missed the end of the race at Lowe's Motor Speedway in favour of groceries and food. I was also hoping to rent Civic Duty but they were all out. I recorded the race on my PVR but I just couldn't bring myself to actually watch the rest of it when I knew I could find out from the Nascar web site or from Yahoo. I found out that Jeff Gordon won the race but I also came across a different article on the Yahoo web site.

It seems that the Chairman of the House Committee on Homeland Security, Bennie Thompson, insulted Nascar fans. Now first of all I should point out that he represents Mississippi. There are a lot of Nascar fans from Mississippi. So what did he do? His aides were visiting Talladega Superspeedway and Lowe's Motor Speedway. Big deal right? Except that before going he instructed those aides to be immunized against a wide variety of diseases such as hepatitis A, hepatitis B, tetanus, diptheria, and influenza. As people have suggested he seems to believe that Nascar fans may have more communicable diseases then a third world country.

Now the justification.... since of course there has to be a justification.. is that it was about the federal response to emergencies at a crowded venue, such as Lowe's Motor Speedway. That sounds so nice. But they aren't inoculating their staff before going to other sporting events, like baseball, football, basketball or hockey. Often times these events are even more crowded and they are not spread out over a mile long oval. So why are Nascar fans such a risk to national security?

As a few people have already said maybe there needs to be an inoculation for stupidity. Nothing like insulting a sport that has millions of fans and HUGE corporate sponsorship and propagating certain stereotypes about the fans. Don't come near us... we just might be infectious.

Depression

After reading Suzanne's post found here I felt like I needed to post. Part of my reason for not posting as of late is that I have found myself suffering from depression. I haven't said anything because even though I know better I felt like it was a secret. I felt like I shouldn't talk about it or admit that I wasn't doing so well.

It takes all my effort just to get out of bed. I'm always so fatigued. And I have found myself falling into an illusion that all I needed was just a little more sleep and then I'd be rested and full of energy. Problem is that no matter how much sleep I get it's never enough. Today I woke up and really did not want to get out of bed. Azrael came in to greet me like he does every day. Since I had the air conditioner on (Is it just me or is it weird that it's mid October and I am still running the air conditioner?) he left pretty quickly. Then 10 minutes later he was back. And 10 minutes after that repeated it again. Better then a snooze button let me tell you. And then I did get out of bed. But it's pretty sad when your cat has to get you out of bed.

I can't deal with the stress of financial issues... and of being unemployed. So I find myself shutting down. I have contact with very few people and usually it's through email. Because my degree is in psych I feel like I should have all the answers and should be perfectly fine. Of course, that too is an illusion. I can't heal myself. I just assume that people can't help me so I keep silent and simply isolate myself. And I hope that somehow I can find my way through this darkness and can find a job along the way.

Election Results

So now that the dust has settled and Ontario has voted it seems that the Liberals have another majority government which is what was predicted. I am not sure if it was won based on actual platforms, attacking the opponents or because of a mistake made by the Conservatives. There is no question that the decision to provide funding to faith based schools caused some flak but then to rescind that platform halfway through might have been an even bigger mistake.

I question whether or not you can truly call it a democracy however. Take my local riding for instance. Only 59% of voters even turned out. And of those 59% 48% voted for the Liberal candidate. So really only 28% of the people in Petborough actually voted for him. Does that mean that he really represents Peterborough? More like he represents about half the people who bothered to get off their ass and vote.

What makes it even sadder is that this is not just a local problem. Only 51.4% of eligible voters went to the polls and cast a ballot. So when the Liberals achieved their majority government they really only represent about 25% of the entire population. Something seems kind of wrong with that picture and with our sense of democracy. The Liberals are cheering their victory and having a majority government but they should really be concerned with the level of voter apathy.

Tonight's Kid Nation

Just in case you haven't heard of it this season CBS introduced "Kid Nation" a controversial reality show where 40 children lived in Bonanza City, New Mexico for 40 days with no adults. Well there are adults around but they have limited contact with the children. The big question seems to surround child labour laws since they are running their own city and doing all the work.

Now I don't agree with children being forced to participate. But each episode they are provided with the opportunity to drop out and return home. So if it does become too much they always have the opportunity to walk away. To date 2 people have already dropped out and gone home.

From a psychological point of view I find it really interesting. On the whole they aren't as jaded as adults. It's a world that isn't ruled by consumerism and greed. It is based on relationships and loyalty. It's a functioning society but it really shows you something about motivations. They work and keep things running and it doesn't seem to be about the money since what I can tell the money is negligible.

Tonight's episode was really telling. There are 4 teams and each episode they compete to determine their place in the class structure. There is the upper class, then the merchant class, followed by the cooks and lastly, the labourers. The jobs are determined by the class and so are the wages. Now if all 4 teams complete the task within a certain amount of time they also get a reward. With the reward there are two choices. In this case they had to choose between a mini-golf course or a library of holy texts (i.e. the Bible, the Koran, etc.). Religion had been the theme of this week's show. The town council let the people vote and they chose the library. I must admit that I was a little surprised. I thought they would've chosen the mini-golf. Maybe that's bad of me but in a town where there's not a whole lot to do I'm not sure I wouldn't have been voting for the mini-golf myself if I was there.

Where There is Smoke There is Fire

The other day I was watching TV and chatting with people when I hear the fire alarm going off. Azrael high-tails it to the bedroom. I grab my wallet, keys and cell phone. Then I head out the door. My neighbour was also heading out the door at the same time. We ran into Leslie, one of the superintendents. She started saying that if it was a real fire they'd be knocking on everyone's doors. So the impression I got is that it was a false alarm and we could stay inside and carry on with our lives. Now I thought that was the worst thing she could be advising.

Last June when there really was a fire they weren't knocking on doors to get people out. In fact the alarm had been going off for over 30 minutes when I realized it was a real fire. Plus with all the apartments in the building it takes a long time for them to knock on everyone's doors. You are better off leaving when you hear the alarm. That way you are not gambling on your own safety. Plus the alarm is not that pleasant to listen to endlessly.

I told her I was going outside any ways. If I am not mistaken Leslie went back in her apartment. When I got into the stairwell I heard someone say there was a fire on the 8th floor. Then I knew I was making the right decision. I got outside and could still see the smoke from the 8th floor. Three fire trucks show up. I could hear the transmissions and the fire was already out but there were people that had to be treated for smoke inhalation so I wasn't sure how long until they would allow people back in the building.

I called SS and we went out for coffee. Well would've except that Timmy's no longer sells Coke. They now have a deal with Pepsi. So I wound up at Sobey's getting my Coke. Then we went down to Little Lake for a while. By the time we got back we were allowed back in.

Turns out it was a grease fire. Everyone is fine and they managed to get the pet out of the apartment too. I must say that this is the first building I have lived in where there has been a real fire. I lived in a ghetto neighbourhood in London and never had a problem. Times Square had the most false alarms but none that were real. This is now the third fire in less then a year and a half. Okay so the second one was the garbage outside and didn't require an evacuation but still.

Maybe I should find another place to live. But I can't afford first and last and I really don't want to sign another lease at the moment. So as long as no one actually burns the entire place down it's all good.