Self Acualization

Today I got to thinking about my university days.... more specifically the lectures on Maslow and the Hierarchy of Needs. I need a job. There is no question there. Well I would much rather be independently wealthy but that's beside the point. Completely unrelated to Maslow, on the job front I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I stay here then I need something that pays at least $12/hour just to make ends meet.... $15 if I actually want to start paying off my student loans. Easier said then done. Most jobs pay between $8-$10 around here. And if I move somewhere else then I am looking at relocation costs, paying first and last again, etc. Since I don't drive it's not like I can commute. So I feel stuck right now and have no idea what to do.

Back to Maslow now and how that relates to the job hunt. I should be focusing all my energy on looking for work, my resume, and applying for jobs. The stress should be motivating me to get it done. Then there is Maslow. First you have to make it through the bottom hierarchy, the physiological needs. When you wonder how you're going to pay rent and buy groceries nothing else really matters. You can't focus on anything else. With EI I only make $640 every two weeks and when rent is $746 that's a problem. Rent is due in 6 days and at the moment I am wondering how exactly I am going to pay it.

Finding a new job is secondary to that. After all what good is a new job when you don't even have a roof over your head? It would be nice if EI at least paid enough to meet your basic needs. Welfare is even worse. At least then you wouldn't have to battle with the bottom level of Maslow's hierarchy and can instead focus on the second level, safety needs, which includes employment.

I don't know about other people but finances are my number 1 stressor. I'm not sure if that is because it's not entirely under my control or just because there is never quite enough. I just want to make sure that all my bills are paid. Time to practice deep breathing exercises as it stresses me out just thinking about it. Now back to the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy and trying to find a way to make ends meet.

Purple & Proud

I was reading the August edition of Scientific American Mind today. There were some interesting articles in it. For anyone involved in leadership I recommend that they check out this article on leadership. Another interesting article was on the rate of dropouts in post-secondary education in the US. Graduation rates are about 40% for public institutions and 57% for private institutions. Having said that 60% of the jobs in the US requires post secondary education. So the question is.... why do so many people drop out?

According to the article, "Whether a person stays in college can depend on how well she [he] socially integrates into the college community... Students who socially assimilate are generally those whose values, cultural background and academic interests match those of the college they have chosen."

I still remember the first time I laid eyes on the campus for the University of Western Ontario. I immediately felt at home. I was still in high school at the time and was visiting my sister. Even just looking at the architecture and landscaping made me want to go there. And so I did. I went to Huron University College, a smaller college within the university. The smaller colleges allow for smaller classes, more interaction with the professors, but still being able to take classes and interact with a large school. I identified greatly with the school and the beliefs found at the school. I wore the school colours with pride. I still wear the school colours with pride. It wasn't all that long ago I found myself purchasing clothing for Huron University College since it was the first time I had seen them available, even though I graduated 5 years ago. I still long for the leather jacket with a Mustang on it. Each fall I feel a twinge of nostalgia and think of homecoming. The thought of dropping out never even crossed my mind.... probably because I had such a strong identification with my alma matter.

Contrast that to my time at Trent. Unlike my time at Huron I hated it there. I did not feel like I fit in with the community. I wasn't enough of a tree-hugger. I also wasn't a stoner. For whatever reason, I always felt like I was on the outside. Being a smaller school then UWO I also didn't feel like there were as many choices in classes. At Western I got spoiled with my classes on young offenders, thanatology and especially the ones on media studies. With the disconnection it was a struggle to go to class and be motivated there. I was also working full time. When I got sick it made for a great excuse to drop out of school and leave the degree unfinished.

You can also contrast transportation. In London the buses typically run every 15 minutes, except on a few routes. It is pretty easy to get around. For the first 3 years I was able to walk to and from campus if I did not want to wait for the bus. There were buses between the colleges and extra buses on certain routes to ease the congestion. Transportation was great! In Peterborough it's a nightmare. It runs every 30 minutes and is rarely on time. The university is on the ouskirts of town so if you're relying on public transportation you are hoping to be there on time. It's a gamble. And since it's so far away you have to leave long before the classes start.

Even the cities are different and have a different atmosphere. London, ON is a big city but it still feels like a small town. It is the forest city. In spite of it being a big city I always felt safe walking home. Here in Peterborough I can't say the same thing. It's a small town but in spite of that fact I was always reluctant when walking home from work at night.

Community... Integration... Acceptance... Branding.. Even the school you go to is a brand. Either you buy into it and will graduate or you don't and are more likely to drop out and pursue life elsewhere. Reasons why it is so important to check out the college before you attend to get a sense of life there. As for me, "Go 'Stangs go!"

Career Path for an INFP

+ Actor
+ Aeronautical Engineer
+ Artist
+ Art Director
+ Architect
+ Career Counselor
+ Church Worker
+ College Professor: Humanities/Art
+ Counselor
+ Crisis Counselor
+ Diversity Manager
+ Editor
+ Educational Consultant
+ Employment Development Specialist
+ English Teacher
+ Fashion Designer
+ Fine Arts Teacher
+ Human Resources Development Specialist
+ Holistic Health Practitioner
+ Journalist
+ Legal Mediator
+ Librarian
+ Minister/Priest
+ Missionary
+ Musician
+ Novelist
+ Psychodrama Therapist
+ Physical Therapist
+ Psychiatry
+ Psychologist
+ Public Health Nurse
+ Poet
+ Religious Educator
+ Researcher
+ Social Scientist
+ Social Worker
+ Speech Pathologist
+ Writer: Poet/Novelist
+ Youth Counselor

INFP - The Idealist, Healer, Dreamer

I'm sure many people reading this are wondering what the INFP is all about. Jung believed there were 16 personality types. Eventually a test was created called the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. You can even do an online test here. Once you know what personality type you fall into you can always do a Google search or click here to get a brief synopsis of each category type.

I even redid the test to see if the results had changed at all... Nope... still an INFP. Suzanne, you surprised? For everyone else... see how much this sounds like me. INFP stands for Introverted Intuition Feeling Perception btw and they make up 1% of the population.

People of this type tend to be: quiet, reserved, and kind; deeply passionate, sensitive, and easily hurt; loving and dedicated to those close to them; creative, original, and imaginative; curious and flexible in small matters; nonconforming. The most important thing to INFPs is their deeply held beliefs and living in harmony with their values. Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships. They are driven to meet other's needs and have a deep capacity for love.

In the relationship arena, this causes them to have a very deep capacity for love and caring which is not frequently found with such intensity in the other types. The INFP does not devote their intense feelings towards just anyone, and are relatively reserved about expressing their inner-most feelings. They reserve their deepest love and caring for a select few who are closest to them. INFP will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals who value depth and authenticity in their relationships

Positives

:: Good listener with genuine concern for others
:: Warmly concerned and caring towards others
:: Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling
:: Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
:: Deep capacity for love and caring
:: Driven to meet other's needs
:: Strive for "win-win" situations
:: Nurturing, supportive and encouraging
:: Flexible and diverse
:: Tend have a strong faith and very spiritual
:: Creative and inspirational

Negatives

:: May tend to be shy and reserved
:: Don't like to have their "space" invaded
:: Extreme dislike of conflict
:: Extreme dislike of criticism
:: Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation
:: May react very emotionally to stressful situations
:: Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
:: Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
:: Tend to be reserved about expressing their feelings
:: Perfectionist tendencies
:: Tendency to blame themselves for problems, and hold everything on their own shoulders
:: Tend to take things too personally
:: Have high standards, may have difficulty working in groups because of this
:: They may tend to lose things or to forget appointments

Perception, Reality and the Chasm In Between

The old adage is that perception equals reality. According to Wikipedia,

"Many philosophers contend that perception consists of one's interpretation of the world, but as commonality of perception trends toward 100% perception transmorgrifies into reality. Case in point: the sky is blue - reality, now imagine everyone but you perceived the sky to be red. The reality would then become "the sky is red". Thus reality is merely a popular consensus of perception. All things in the universe are understood as received through the various filters of human understanding and thus are perceptions of reality. What we commonly refer to as reality is, in fact, merely an agreed upon perception.

Many cognitive psychologists hold that, as we move about in the world, we create a model of how the world works. That is, we sense the objective world, but our sensations map to percepts, and these percepts are provisional, in the same sense that scientific hypotheses are provisional (cf. in the scientific method). As we acquire new information, our percepts shift."

I was having a conversation with someone at work the other day. It became abundantly clear how different our perceptions were. He thought I would've been popular in high school and had trouble picturing me as a ghost. Now times have changed and that was 10 years ago. So, in and of itself, that would've been meaningless. But they went on to say how popular I was now... how confident I appeared. Basically this person saw me as self-confident, outgoing, extraverted, popular... all the things I don't see in myself.

How do I see myself? I see myself as introverted. I definitely don't see myself as all that confident. Maybe I just fake it really well. *lol* I see myself as more of a recluse and pretty guarded. Basically I see myself as the complete opposite as how Stephan sees me.

Made me realize a couple of key points. For one... people are paying attention to everything you do, especially once you start moving up in the company. What kind of example are you setting?

Secondly, how you see yourself may not be the same as how other people see you. In fact they might be complete opposites. It's all about perception. How we have constructed our world view will shape how we see other people and their actions.

Doormat

Some days I feel like I am a doormat.... someone to be used and abused and just taken advantage of. Why? Because I don't stand up for myself. Right now I feel like certain people are just walking all over me and don't think twice. It's an extremely frustrating place to be.

First there is the superintendent. It seems like they want me to take legal action. They seem to think I will just be complacent and not do anything. After all... I have just written letter after letter so far in spite of the fact they have not fixed the heat in here. I shouldn't have to live like this. After all I am paying for rent. I should have the repairs done in a timely matter instead of having the superintendent taking advantage of the fact I am a peacemaker. I don't want to make waves. I want it to be fixed but I have a tough time getting confrontational and forcing the issue. I can't seem to stand up for myself and my rights.

But it's not just the apartment... SS does the same thing to me.... Back in October (or somewhere around there) I had to turn the air conditioner off because it wasn't working properly. Ever since he has been promising to take it out but always has 101 excuses. I think it's just to keep inviting himself over. But it lets in quite a draft in the bedroom. Not that long ago it was covered in snow and ice. Needless to say I want it out of my bedroom, and out of my apartment. But he keeps stalling... It's not helping the heat or the humidity issue. So I keep asking him to take it out... and it doesn't get done. I hate unreliable people and I really don't like nagging. Again I don't want to get confrontational. I don't want to see him angry or risk pissing him off.

*Sigh* I really need to develop a backbone and not try to be the peacemaker. It's not getting me any more except more stressed and frustrated.

Coaching Style

Everyone has their own unique personality. As such we can't treat them all the same. This is important to remember for anyone who is in a supervisory position or does any type of coaching. I work as a performance coach. And what works for one person is not going to work for someone else. A lot of people have trouble with this. After all it requires looking at things with someone else's eyes and not our own. It is definitely not easy. Some agents want to spend time just chatting and while there are times when you want to just cut it off because you have other jobs to do... the point is that they are your agents. If this is what they need then that is what you give them. You have to be willing to listen, even if it's not about work. There are other agents that don't want that... They just want to go back to doing the job. You have to tailor your coaching to the individual.

The reason I was even thinking about this was actually in regards to myself and what I need. I don't generally need someone to sugar coat things. I want to hear it straight up. But I also don't respond well to micromanagement or someone checking up on me. That is restrictive and is the fastest way to make me feel like I am not valued.

It's like a Rubick's Cube. You have to adjust things until you find the combination that works for that specific person. Just remember, it's about that person. So get to know them... and find out what they need from you.

The Masks We Wear

It's not just actors that put on masks and try to conceal their true identity. Everyone wears masks at different times. We do it to avoid being hurt... or to be what other people expect us to be. It's human nature. It's also about psychology and the need to protect ourselves.

Growing up I was wearing so many masks that I actually forgot what was behind the mask. My main identity was that of a ghost. I wanted to blend into the background and not be noticed. Just ask the people who knew me in high school. Chances are they remember very little about me. It was a conscious effort to fit in and not be noticed. But it was an assumed identity. It's not who I am naturally. Ask anyone that has known me for any length of time. I talk... a lot... and I don't do a good job of blending into the background.

There were other masks... all designed for self preservation. Over time I have stopped hiding so much and am getting better at being true. There is a dichotomy though. Part of me wants to just blend into the background at work. Part of me is still scared of standing out. I feel like if I did then I would be exposed as a fraud. That people would think I didn't know what I was doing and didn't deserve the position. Deep down I know that's not true... That I know my shit and am in the position for a reason. But it's hard for me to see it and believe it. Since I said it was a dichotomy part of me does want the recognition and wants to stand out. After all if you want to advance people have to take notice. It takes ambition, hard work, and getting noticed. But which mask do I need to wear to get to where I want to be?

Celebrity Self-Injury

Recently newspapers reported that Lindsay Lohan had scratches on her arm and there were "concerns she is a victim of self harm." The headline was "Self harm fears over Lindsay's scars." Another article said that she was "accused of being a cutter." I realize that people want the latest celebrity gossip and that any news will sell. Maybe it's more of a witchhunt. One that wants to out Lindsay as a cutter.

But there is another issue with these statements. There is already a huge stigma surrounding self injury. Calling someone a "victim of self-harm" makes it sound like it's something that happened to them. And accusing someone of self-injury just reinforces the stigma and makes it sound like it's the worst thing you could do.

Plastering pictures of what may (or may not) be self-inflicted scars has no positive benefit. It just reinforces the shame a self-injurer feels. But for someone that is young and impressionable it can also lead someone to choose self-injury. After all celebrities are role models and people will mimic their behaviour. Plus the pictures are sensationable and can be triggering for people that do self-injure.

My question... who cares? Maybe she fell in the bushes as has been claimed or maybe she really does cut herself. It is none of our business. At the end of the day Lindsay Lohan is a person and whatever she needs to do to cope should be her decision. Plastering photos in numerous newspapers and across the internet does not help. *If* she is cutting herself then what she needs is support and help to find better ways of coping and to deal with what is the reason behind it.

Having said that... there are worse things that she could be doing. Now sometimes self injury is a symptom of a mental disorder and that definitely should be examined. Self-injury is typically a controlled response used to regain balance when things feel out of control. In some cases it is to prevent suicide from becoming an option... Society seems to have the idea that it's linked to suicide but it's almost the opposite. It's about regaining control. All I can say, as someone that is all too familiar with self injury (and can't even imagine having pictures of my cuts plastered all over) leave her be!

Career Options

My degree is in psychology and I work in a call center. To most people those two ideas don't really go together all that well. Personally, I think that call center employees don't get the respect they deserve. There's too much of an emphasis on temporary employees since the wages aren't going to attract people for the long term. But that was a bit of a tangent. I find that I do use the psychology degree every day. After all my job is to coach and develop the other agents. I also use it when communicating with customers. So it is a useful skill to have in my line of work.

The big issue I have... and the reason I am at a bit of a cross-roads is that there are very few opportunities for advancement at work. They have done away with the team leader position here and with the turnover rate no manager positions will be available on the horizon. And even if there was there is a LOT of competition among all the performance coaches. The most I can make as a performance coach is $15.65 an hour ($32,552/year) and that is after 5 years of being a performance coach. Not to mention the fact you have to meet your metrics to even get a raise, something I didn't do in February. If it wasn't for my student loan it wouldn't be a big deal but that is still hanging over my head.

Steve seems to like coming up with career options to make more money. Now none of his ideas involve me actually leaving to pursue other opportunities. He does know that I applied for a promotion in Niagara Falls so he already knows I am willing to leave. I don't think he was quite so happy about it. So what is his current thought? He seems to think I should start a counselling practice specializing in people who self-injure. He thinks I would do well since I understand the behaviour.

I have a few issues with that thought. As an unlicensed counsellor you are a lot more vulnerable. Self-injury is a behaviour and in order to treat it you have to treat the underlying causes. That's not exactly short-term therapy. You really do have to change thought process and behaviour. It's also extrememly frustrating. There is a reluctance to change. You need a mix... otherwise you risk facing burnout. You just can't deal with the same thing over and over and over... especially when it is a behaviour that is resistant to change. Then there is the whole self-harm behaviour. Generally speaking you have a duty to report any threats to self or to others. So it's a bit of a catch-22. The last thing I would want to do is force someone to sign a no-harm contract.

While I do understand the behaviour and have been there that is only so beneficial. And since I still struggle with it I am not sure I would be the best counsellor. You can treat it as long as you can empathize with the person... which should be true in any therapy relationship. If it's not there then you should be looking for another therapist.

Now I can see me more as an advocate and generating awareness about self-injury. I could handle that. I do think there is a need for that. But as a counsellor... I'm not so sure about that idea. Unlike Steve I try to take a practical approach and not just have the idea of the week.

Denial

I'm really starting to relive Psych 101.... This time it's Freud and his defense mechanisms. Too bad I never liked Freud or agreed with his theories. Psychoanalytic theory was all about the id, ego and superego. Translation: we all have id impulses and can't act on all of them... so we have the ego to control those impulses. We use defense mechanisms to alter or distort those unsconscious desires. One of the many defense mechanisms put forward by psychonalytic theory is denial. In a nutshell denial is the refusal to accept reality.

Right about now I wish I could go back to denial. Denial does make everything a lot easier. It means you can avoid whatever is going on. I spent two years denying anything was wrong... to myself and to others. Can I go back to that? Granted denial also means not taking any responsibility but hey... if it means that I don't have to face the reality that something could be wrong... then I am all for denial.

I still remember the courses I took on thanatology (the study of death)... wish I could've actually made that my minor but any ways... That was kind of hard to do since the only courses I could actually take were those offered in the summer. Any ways.... one of the main points (that has also been applied to other things) came from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and her book "On Death and Dying". Initially it was about terminal care patients and their road from denial to acceptance. It has also been used in mental illness.

1. Denial: The "No, Not Me" Stage - This stage is filled with disbelief and denial... this can't be happening (Trying to avoid the inevitable)
   
2. Anger/Resentment: The "Why Me" Stage - This stage is filled with anger... anger towards yourself, others, the situation, and anger that it happened to you (Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion)
   
3. Bargaining: The "If I do This, You'll do That" Stage - You try and negotiate to change the situation (I wonder how often God is involved at this stage) (Seeking in vain to find a way out)
   
4. Depression: The "It's Really Happened" Stage - At this point you realize that it isn't going to change... You wonder what is going to happen with life as you knew it (Final realization of the inevitable)
   
5. Acceptance: The "I'm Ready" Stage - You've realized that you can't change things and this is the way it's going to be... and the only thing you can do is move forward (Finally finding the way forward)

As you can see this can be applied to a number of situations... from terminal illness... mental illness... even smaller events that we go through on a daily basis. I'm wondering where I am currently on that road. I'm thinking stage 2... Knowing me I'll skip stage 3 and go straight to the depression... but give me a little while before I hit that point.

Diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder

According to the DSM-IV (The Psychologists Bible) Borderline Personlity Disorder is diagnosed with the following criteria:

Diagnostic criteria for 301.83 Borderline Personality Disorder
(cautionary statement)

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

(1) frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

(2) a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

(3) identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self

(4) impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, Substance Abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

(5) recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

(6) affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

(7) chronic feelings of emptiness

(8) inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

(9) transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

Now this one is the most frequent diagnosis of anyone that self injures. In a study 48% either met the criteria or were diagnosed with BPD (I can't remember which) but if you removed self injury then only 28% met the criteria. Some people will diagnose it just for self injury, they don't have to meet 4 more of the symptoms. It also seems to be the catch all of psychological disorders. Borderline personality disorder is typically a label given to women while Antisocial Personality Disorder is typically label given to men. So if someone tells you that you might have Borderline Personality Disorder then it's not such a good thing. Doctors are also reluctant to treat patients with this diagnosis chalking them up to a lost cause and difficult to treat. Maybe they should either do away with this diagnosis or change it so it is more useful. After all at some points in our life almost all of us could probably get the diagnosis.

The Diagnosis of Depression

According to the APA and the DSM-IV-TSR (basically a psychologist's Bible):

Criteria for Major Depressive Episode
(cautionary statement)

A. Five (or more) of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2-week period and represent a change from previous functioning; at least one of the symptoms is either
(1) depressed mood or
(2) loss of interest or pleasure.
Note: Do not include symptoms that are clearly due to a general medical condition, or mood-incongruent delusions or hallucinations.

(1) depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful). Note: In children and adolescents, can be irritable mood.
(2) markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation made by others)
(3) significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day. Note: In children, consider failure to make expected weight gains.
(4) Insomnia or Hypersomnia nearly every day
(5) psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down)
(6) fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day
(7) feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick)
(8) diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others)
(9) recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide

B. The symptoms do not meet criteria for a Mixed Episode (see p. 335).

C. The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

D. The symptoms are not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., hypothyroidism).

E. The symptoms are not better accounted for by Bereavement, i.e., after the loss of a loved one, the symptoms persist for longer than 2 months or are characterized by marked functional impairment, morbid preoccupation with worthlessness, suicidal ideation, psychotic symptoms, or psychomotor retardation.

So... what can I say about that? You have to meet 5 of the criteria to get the diagnosis. And it can't be caused by a medical condition... Hmm... they never tested for a medical condition. As far as the insomnia goes... I was diagnosed with insomnia and "Phase Delayed Sleep Disorder" back when I was in university. The weight loss has always been an issue. I can gain/lose 5 pounds in a day. The difficulty concentrating can be seen as a symptom of depression.... although I believe it was related to the fatigue.

I was under a great deal of stress at the time. Nothing I did for my boss was ever going to be good enough. I was beyond fatigued and could not concentrate. I was constantly feeling sick. And then there was the actual reason that I was tempted to go back to the self-injury... my stalker. It was really stressing me out because I felt alone and isolated. I couldn't go anywhere or do anything. I really felt trapped. So I was having a tough time. I was having issues at work but didn't want to be at home either. It was a losing battle. So with everything that was going on I was stressed out.... But I was not suicidal or depressed. I'm not even sure I would've met the criteria for a diagnosis.

Perspective

Why is it that the only time we ever really look back on our lives and take stock is when something happens? Usually I am too busy with work and relaxing when I come home. I get caught up in the small picture and never really take the time to look at the big picture.

I'm definitely not where I thought I'd be. Okay so that's not a bad thing... just not what I imagined. I had always figured I'd be married by now. Well step 1 would be being in a relationship and I don't see that on the horizon.

I also figured I'd be working with young offenders. Well some of my agents might fit that category. I'm just kidding. My job is a mix of technology and psychology. Not only do I have to be able to troubleshoot but I also have to coach the agents. I love my job, most of the time any ways.

I never was that good at being organized or setting goals so I can't really offer that much more perspective on my life. Maybe I should set more goals... and maybe I should stop and take more time to think about life instead of just looking at the small picture all the time.