The Unemployment Line

I think I finally hit a turning point this week.... a real change in my mind set. Most of the first month was an emotional roller coaster. There was definitely shock when I suddenly found myself without a job. I hadn't prepared myself for that.

One part of me just wanted to put it out of my mind and move on but there was another part of me that felt wronged and wanted to see justice done. So a lot of time was also spent doing everything I could to make a stand. No one can say that I did nothing. There have been some small victories but only time will tell who is victorious. I would go into more detail but I still have to maintain a certain element of secrecy... at least as far as public announcements go. You can feel free to ask if you really want to know.

Throughout it all my identity was still fused with the company. My focus seemed to be on wanting my job back. In spite of it all I was willing to go back and resume my position. I think someone really needed to smack me upside the head. No matter how many times someone would tell me that I was better then that and could find something that was healthier for me I still had it in my head that I wanted to go back. What was I thinking?

As far as the job hunting goes it was pretty discouraging. Peterborough is known for low wages and BS jobs. Sure I applied for the other call centers but truth be told I didn't want to hear back from them. I just spent 4 years working at a call center. I didn't want the hassle of going to another one. The headache would be the same. I'd even be working with some of my old co-workers. Now that sounds appealing. And they definitely don't pay you enough to make ends meet, let alone start paying back my student loan. But I was beginning to think this is where I was headed.

Now I have changed that mind set completely. I had avoided buying any books on job hunting because I didn't have the money. But... at the end of the day that money is an investment in me and my future. So yesterday I went down to Chapters and bought "What Color is Your Parachute" and "Do What You Are". I laughed when I saw the job positions for an INFP: Counsellor, Coach, Minister, Writer... All the things I've been told throughout my life.

I feel like I have this great opportunity. I don't feel trapped into finding a job just for the income. I feel like I can do whatever I want and am not limited. When I was working I stuck it out for the pay cheque. 4 years in a toxic work environment because it meant I had a steady income. But now I am focusing on what I want to do... I've also started to see job ads that actually interest me... like employment counsellor. So things are looking up. And this is my time!