Monday, September 03, 2007

How to Get Fired

Last month's Wired had an emphasis on "How to" with Martha Stewart. It included how to get fired. However, it all started after the pink slip. Sure it is good to know how to negotiate AFTER the event.... Here is a quick way to get you to that point.

  1. Own a Mac
  2. Create an album in iPhoto with your favourite images... Include pictures that management will not approve of. For instance that picture you took of the boss at the Christmas party during the limbo competition. Or those drunken shots taken with PhotoBooth that you thought were so entertaining. Or any one of 100 different images.
  3. Have an internet connection
  4. Sign up at http://www.facebook.com
  5. Download and install the iPhoto to Facebook exporter
  6. Click on the album that was created in step 2. Go to file --> export and choose to export to Facebook. Create a new album with the name of the iPhoto album and export.
  7. Click on the link to go to Facebook.
  8. Select all of the pictures. Who needs to look at the pictures? They're for everyone else to look at.
  9. Approve them all.
  10. Wait for the pink slip
Now the more time that passes between step 2 and step 6 the more likely you are to unintentionally post a controversial picture. For maximum effect make sure you do not enable any privacy settings.

Just for added effect you can also get your very own pink slip voodoo doll. With it you can really become the master of your own fate at the workplace. If you want to keep your job then you can use it to be passed over. But if you want a pink slip then you can use the doll to help you attain that. In some workplaces displaying it will work even better.

I take no responsibility for the outcome of your actions. Nor can I promise that you will get what you want. If I could do that I would be rich by now. So take my suggestions with a grain of salt... although in the case of a voodoo doll isn't it better to be safe then sorry?

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