Welcome to the Real World

As many of you are aware back in March I lost my job. Well technically I didn't really lose it. I know exactly where it went and why it disappeared. What you may not know, since I really didn't want it to be public knowledge, is that I was fighting back. I felt that it was unfair and that I was being targeted. Ideally I wanted my job back... but failing that I at least wanted the termination pay.

Now I did get an apology from the parent company over my treatment there but nothing else ever came of that. Then I had someone from corporate looking into it. They dealt the final death knell for any thought of getting my job back. They also refused to admit any wrong doing. But offered me the 4 weeks salary. After careful consideration I turned it down choosing instead to let the labour board make the final decision. If they decided that it was justified then I would accept that answer. But if not then it would go on record that it was a case of wrongful dismissal and the company would be held accountable.

Such noble sentiments. I have since discovered that the labour board is on the side of the employers and will look for any loophole to screw over the employee. Okay so the wrongful dismissal is not the reason for that thought. They didn't give me my raise back in February and then fired me at the end of March. I was told I couldn't claim for any additional wages. So as long as they fire you before implementing the new wages it's okay. For the longest time I had a catch-22 at work. If I took my lunch then we wouldn't meet the mandate and it would lead to disciplinary action. So I didn't take my lunch but they didn't pay me for it either. They deducted the time. And I was told that I voluntarily chose not to take my lunch. Hmm... damned if you do and not paid if you don't.

As for the whole wrongful dismissal claim.... since they had already offered me the 4 weeks pay and to change my termination to without cause that is exactly what I'll be getting. But basically they are calling it a settlement. The company will not have to admit to any wrong doing and can even try and take the righteous high ground of "Look at us. We offered to do this and didn't have to. We wanted to bring closure to the situation." But really.... if they thought they could win and not have to pay anything they would've fought me.

Life in the real world isn't quite as black and white. There are a lot of shades of grey. But the good news is that the whole saga has now come to an end... or will once I get the cheque (which could be 6 months from now). I saw it through.... no matter how many people told me that I couldn't win and that I should just stop fighting. In the end I won.

Idealism Meets Reality

Quote: An optimist is a person who sees only the lights in the picture, whereas a pessimist sees only the shadows. An idealist, however, is one who sees the light and the shadows but, in addition, sees something else; the possibility of changing the picture, of making the lights prevail over the shadows.
Author: Felix Adler

This is largely a continuation of the last couple of posts. What is the price of silence? What is your price? Everyone has one. For me... my price was having a job. It meant some level (albeit false) of security. I knew I had an income coming in. So I foolishly thought that if I remained quiet... or at least tried to keep my head down and keep a low profile then I would still have a job. I also kept hoping that things would one day change... that they would get better. When I came back from my LOA I was given false hope when Christie became my manager. This doesn't take anything away from Christie because I strongly believe that she is a great manager and I respect her a great deal. It gave me that hope that just maybe this time would be different. But when I was fired idealism came face to face with reality. No matter how hard you try you are not going to change a zebra's stripes. It is what it is... and likewise you can't change who a person is and what their values are.

I've also learned that losing your job is not the end of the world. Sure it sucks (although the time off is kind of nice *lol*) and not having that steady income is stressful but it could be worse. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't miss my team and my manager. I've talked to Christie since then but it's not the same. Right now there is still a chasm between us.... things that neither of us can say. And as much as people seem to think I hate the company and "damn the man" I don't feel that way. I can still see the good in that company.... although I think there would need to be some changes made... much like with any company.

After I was fired it was like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I didn't realize just how toxic the environment was. This is what I want to fight... I know I'm not the only one... caught up in a world of paranoia, anxiety, stress and fear. I thought I had to be perfect and prove myself all the time. It was killing me, to be perfectly honest. It was all stemming from one person. That night was the best night's sleep I had in years. The exhaustion I had felt before Adam and I separated was suddenly lifted, along with the symptoms of depression. Gone... It was this remarkable recovery.

Two years of suffering... for a steady income. The sad fact is that countless other people have also had to endure this and many still are. My silence came at a price. I sacrificed my health for a few bucks... and I let other people down. I didn't stand up for the other people that had to go through the same thing... the ones that chose to leave instead.

I would get knocked down and would just stand back up. I refused to quit thinking that was so noble of me and that people would notice. That was a foolish thought because each time they basically bought my silence. Sure I kept coming back... but no one knew what I had to go through just to keep my job. And each time I got knocked down I thought things would be different. But it takes someone speaking up and becoming a martyr if you will before change occurs.

I'm pretty sure that most people who have been there for a while have their own horror stories and most, if not all, are extremely jaded. I don't blame them. I was harassed by team leaders and by a team manager. I even had my bathroom habits monitored at one point, which still embarrasses me and that was 2 years ago. I've been yelled at by managers on the floor in front of agents. They sent me on a 7 week leave of absence that involved forced psychiatric treatment. Their own doctor said I was suffering from clinical depression but they used the performance issues from untreated depression to hold me back. Umm... discrimination anyone? I had a team leader take credit for my work so that she looked good. And then there was the dismissal. I never thought I'd be fired for trying to motivate people and make them laugh. But I guess management wasn't laughing. We'll see who gets the last laugh.