When Push Comes to Snap

For about 4 years now I have been with Cogeco for both my internet and for my TV. I didn't complain each time they charged me a reconnection fee when I moved (can't you give me one freebie?). I barely even complained when I didn't have my digital cable channels for 6 months and it took repeated service calls to get it fixed. I didn't even complain when I got a notice telling me that they were going to start charging for overages. After all I knew my bandwidth limit was 60 GB. The thought of leaving them just didn't cross my mind. After all it has always been reliable and cable does provide much better speeds then DSL does. Since they were giving me until June 1 before making me pay for overages I decided to make use of that fact. After all I had several Blu-rays with digital copies waiting to be downloaded... software updates.... and, of course, the torrents. And yeah maybe I did go a little overboard. Downloaded/Uploaded 179 GB in April and was on my way to exceeding that in May. And then... without any warning or even a notification they cut off my internet. Not even any hint as far as how long I would be without the service for. They claimed there may have been a violation of the terms of service but they have no proof that I was doing anything other then downloading a LOT of legal files... or making use of the online storage web sites to back up my files before they cracked down. As a side note a friend of mine downloaded a terabyte this month and was not cut off... So what exactly makes them decide who gets cut off and who doesn't? Clearly it's not uniform where once you reach a certain point that's it.

So any ways... the moment I realized they cut me off... and weren't going to tell me how long it was for was the moment I decided to cancel all my services with them and go elsewhere. Maybe that is a little bit of the Scorpio in me.... but there are companies that still offer unlimited bandwidth and cost about the same. Okay so I had to trade in speed but still. No worrying about being cut off... or that I will be charged extra. Peace of mind. And as for the TV I am doing without for the summer as most shows are done for the season. I will just download the ones that I do want to watch. Once September hits then I will either continue on and keep saving the $60 a month or if I really want the TV back then I will likely go with Bell TV.

As for Cogeco when I called in to cancel not only did they not show any empathy whatsoever, or offer to look into how long my internet was going to be out for, but they didn't even make a save effort. Guess they really didn't want the $123 that I was paying each month. Then they sent me another bill, even though I had just paid the last bill and now had a $0 balance. Oh and along with that bill was a notification that my rates were increasing for each service. While making the decision to leave Cogeco I was still thinking about the possibility of going back to them. Based on the fact they did not seem to value my business I would be hard pressed to ever go back to them... or even recommend them to anyone.

Putting Freud to Use

You Are the Ego

You take a balanced approach to your life. You definitely aren't afraid to act out on your desires - even crazy ones. But you usually think first. Morals drive you as much as hedonism does. You've been able to live a life of pleasure... without living a life of excess.

Are You Id, Ego, or Superego?

Distracted Daydreamer or ADHD Child

I have said before that I do not like labels, especially in children. See my comments here and here. The other day I came across a discussion about ADD and temperament. It challenged the idea that ADD was a disorder and instead suggested that it might be based on temperament. That's not to say that there aren't certain people that really should be diagnosed with ADD or ADHD since a diagnosis is given when something is maladaptive. Supposedly the 4 most common MBTI types to be diagnosed with ADD are INFP, INTP, ENFP, and ENTP. Notice any commonalities there? The ?N?P. The overreliance on intuition can lead to daydreaming, jumping from one idea to another, or focusing on the internal world instead of paying attention to those around them. Did you say something? *lol* Extraverted SPs may be diagnosed with ADD as well but for opposite reasons. They will be over-attentive to their senses and find it difficult to focus on abstract ideas. INFPs are most likely to identify themselves as ADD even though they represent only 1% of the population. INFPs are also more likely to suffer from depression.

MBTI Type Descriptions for the 4 Types

ENFP: "Muckraker"
Creator of hype, distortion, and the perversion of media of information to be wallows of mindless emotionalism.

INFP: "Fanatic"
Always searching for an Answer with a capital A. Unlike the INFJ, they are usually openminded enough to realize the current one isn't good enough after a few years.

ENTP: "Frankenstein"
The salvation of the world is to be found in this new nanotronic frannistan, of which he just happens to have an almost-working model...

INTP: "Nerd"
What? you mean people actually talk to each other using mouths and ears instead of keyboards????

MBTI Prayers

INFP: God, help me to finish everything I sta
ENFP: God, help me to keep my mind on one th - Look a bird - ing at a time.
INTP: Lord, help me be less independent, but let me do it my way.
ENTP: Lord, help me follow established procedures today. On second thought, I'll settle for a few minutes.

Personal DNA

Considerate Creator

My personalDNA Report

No Green Thumb....

I am a Canna What Flower Are You?

"You stand up for what you believe in, even if it gets in the way of what other people think. You are proud of yourself and your accomplishments and you enjoy letting people know that."

Sound Like Anyone You Know?

Since I like stealing from other web sites.... (Hey at least I am giving them credit for it) here's one on being an INFP. Sound like me?

"INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves.

INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.

INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".

INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.

INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic."

Idealism Meets Reality

Quote: An optimist is a person who sees only the lights in the picture, whereas a pessimist sees only the shadows. An idealist, however, is one who sees the light and the shadows but, in addition, sees something else; the possibility of changing the picture, of making the lights prevail over the shadows.
Author: Felix Adler

This is largely a continuation of the last couple of posts. What is the price of silence? What is your price? Everyone has one. For me... my price was having a job. It meant some level (albeit false) of security. I knew I had an income coming in. So I foolishly thought that if I remained quiet... or at least tried to keep my head down and keep a low profile then I would still have a job. I also kept hoping that things would one day change... that they would get better. When I came back from my LOA I was given false hope when Christie became my manager. This doesn't take anything away from Christie because I strongly believe that she is a great manager and I respect her a great deal. It gave me that hope that just maybe this time would be different. But when I was fired idealism came face to face with reality. No matter how hard you try you are not going to change a zebra's stripes. It is what it is... and likewise you can't change who a person is and what their values are.

I've also learned that losing your job is not the end of the world. Sure it sucks (although the time off is kind of nice *lol*) and not having that steady income is stressful but it could be worse. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't miss my team and my manager. I've talked to Christie since then but it's not the same. Right now there is still a chasm between us.... things that neither of us can say. And as much as people seem to think I hate the company and "damn the man" I don't feel that way. I can still see the good in that company.... although I think there would need to be some changes made... much like with any company.

After I was fired it was like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I didn't realize just how toxic the environment was. This is what I want to fight... I know I'm not the only one... caught up in a world of paranoia, anxiety, stress and fear. I thought I had to be perfect and prove myself all the time. It was killing me, to be perfectly honest. It was all stemming from one person. That night was the best night's sleep I had in years. The exhaustion I had felt before Adam and I separated was suddenly lifted, along with the symptoms of depression. Gone... It was this remarkable recovery.

Two years of suffering... for a steady income. The sad fact is that countless other people have also had to endure this and many still are. My silence came at a price. I sacrificed my health for a few bucks... and I let other people down. I didn't stand up for the other people that had to go through the same thing... the ones that chose to leave instead.

I would get knocked down and would just stand back up. I refused to quit thinking that was so noble of me and that people would notice. That was a foolish thought because each time they basically bought my silence. Sure I kept coming back... but no one knew what I had to go through just to keep my job. And each time I got knocked down I thought things would be different. But it takes someone speaking up and becoming a martyr if you will before change occurs.

I'm pretty sure that most people who have been there for a while have their own horror stories and most, if not all, are extremely jaded. I don't blame them. I was harassed by team leaders and by a team manager. I even had my bathroom habits monitored at one point, which still embarrasses me and that was 2 years ago. I've been yelled at by managers on the floor in front of agents. They sent me on a 7 week leave of absence that involved forced psychiatric treatment. Their own doctor said I was suffering from clinical depression but they used the performance issues from untreated depression to hold me back. Umm... discrimination anyone? I had a team leader take credit for my work so that she looked good. And then there was the dismissal. I never thought I'd be fired for trying to motivate people and make them laugh. But I guess management wasn't laughing. We'll see who gets the last laugh.

Visual DNA

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

And now you know a little more about me. It was pretty fun.. so Thanks for that Suzanne. This time I am stealing from you :o)

Calvin & Hobbes, Part 2

Calvin: The Ultimate INFP

Career Path for an INFP

+ Actor
+ Aeronautical Engineer
+ Artist
+ Art Director
+ Architect
+ Career Counselor
+ Church Worker
+ College Professor: Humanities/Art
+ Counselor
+ Crisis Counselor
+ Diversity Manager
+ Editor
+ Educational Consultant
+ Employment Development Specialist
+ English Teacher
+ Fashion Designer
+ Fine Arts Teacher
+ Human Resources Development Specialist
+ Holistic Health Practitioner
+ Journalist
+ Legal Mediator
+ Librarian
+ Minister/Priest
+ Missionary
+ Musician
+ Novelist
+ Psychodrama Therapist
+ Physical Therapist
+ Psychiatry
+ Psychologist
+ Public Health Nurse
+ Poet
+ Religious Educator
+ Researcher
+ Social Scientist
+ Social Worker
+ Speech Pathologist
+ Writer: Poet/Novelist
+ Youth Counselor

INFP - The Idealist, Healer, Dreamer

I'm sure many people reading this are wondering what the INFP is all about. Jung believed there were 16 personality types. Eventually a test was created called the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. You can even do an online test here. Once you know what personality type you fall into you can always do a Google search or click here to get a brief synopsis of each category type.

I even redid the test to see if the results had changed at all... Nope... still an INFP. Suzanne, you surprised? For everyone else... see how much this sounds like me. INFP stands for Introverted Intuition Feeling Perception btw and they make up 1% of the population.

People of this type tend to be: quiet, reserved, and kind; deeply passionate, sensitive, and easily hurt; loving and dedicated to those close to them; creative, original, and imaginative; curious and flexible in small matters; nonconforming. The most important thing to INFPs is their deeply held beliefs and living in harmony with their values. Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships. They are driven to meet other's needs and have a deep capacity for love.

In the relationship arena, this causes them to have a very deep capacity for love and caring which is not frequently found with such intensity in the other types. The INFP does not devote their intense feelings towards just anyone, and are relatively reserved about expressing their inner-most feelings. They reserve their deepest love and caring for a select few who are closest to them. INFP will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals who value depth and authenticity in their relationships

Positives

:: Good listener with genuine concern for others
:: Warmly concerned and caring towards others
:: Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling
:: Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
:: Deep capacity for love and caring
:: Driven to meet other's needs
:: Strive for "win-win" situations
:: Nurturing, supportive and encouraging
:: Flexible and diverse
:: Tend have a strong faith and very spiritual
:: Creative and inspirational

Negatives

:: May tend to be shy and reserved
:: Don't like to have their "space" invaded
:: Extreme dislike of conflict
:: Extreme dislike of criticism
:: Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation
:: May react very emotionally to stressful situations
:: Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
:: Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
:: Tend to be reserved about expressing their feelings
:: Perfectionist tendencies
:: Tendency to blame themselves for problems, and hold everything on their own shoulders
:: Tend to take things too personally
:: Have high standards, may have difficulty working in groups because of this
:: They may tend to lose things or to forget appointments

I Like Me

"I like me" may seem like a really odd statement to most people who are reading this... but it has taken me a long time to get to that point. For the longest time my identity was forged by the people who knew me and especially by the relationship I was in. My sense of self-worth was in essence shaped by my relationship with others instead of myself. It doesn't take much to realize that my self-worth was really low. I went from relationship to relationship because without being with someone I didn't think I had any value... I looked at things with a really distorted lens and had trouble just being me. And now.... I like me.

Coaching Style

Everyone has their own unique personality. As such we can't treat them all the same. This is important to remember for anyone who is in a supervisory position or does any type of coaching. I work as a performance coach. And what works for one person is not going to work for someone else. A lot of people have trouble with this. After all it requires looking at things with someone else's eyes and not our own. It is definitely not easy. Some agents want to spend time just chatting and while there are times when you want to just cut it off because you have other jobs to do... the point is that they are your agents. If this is what they need then that is what you give them. You have to be willing to listen, even if it's not about work. There are other agents that don't want that... They just want to go back to doing the job. You have to tailor your coaching to the individual.

The reason I was even thinking about this was actually in regards to myself and what I need. I don't generally need someone to sugar coat things. I want to hear it straight up. But I also don't respond well to micromanagement or someone checking up on me. That is restrictive and is the fastest way to make me feel like I am not valued.

It's like a Rubick's Cube. You have to adjust things until you find the combination that works for that specific person. Just remember, it's about that person. So get to know them... and find out what they need from you.