Quacks... AKA Doctors

Okay I don't think my family doctor is a quack. I actually respect him. I am just thinking about how things were going before my LOA, the LOA and the aftermath. I also re-read my posts over at Time off Work. Aside from the fact it's been two months since I last posted there... I almost feel like I should update it with recent developments.

Before my LOA I was having a lot of trouble focusing and concentrating on anything. It was really affecting my performance and I would even zone out halfway through a sentence. Chris started telling me that it was just an excuse. It wasn't but I couldn't argue with the team leader. Then I brought a knife to work (well actually I was off work and had already been home and came back just to give it to someone) and that gave her an excuse to force me off work.

Then there was Dr. Caskey. He was the doctor that work contracted for me to see. Things went from bad to really bad quite quickly. First of all, he didn't believe that Firomyalgia existed. He felt it was just a symptom of a psychiatric disorder. I'm sure a number of rheumatologists, and other family physicians would disagree... but what can I say? He's the one with the medical degree, determining when I return to work. He believed I was suffering from depression as evidenced by the lack of focus, the fatigue, the insomnia and the self-injury. He had received a letter from work indicating my performance was suffering and I had numerous physical complaints. The fibromyalgia had been untreated for 4 years and I was exhausted all the time. As far as work goes... I still met the aces mandate. And was only failing the aces Chris did on me. There was only one month I was low in sales. So he wanted me to have an emergency psych evaluation at the hospital. I didn't have a choice if I wanted to return to work. Talk about leading questions. They didn't ask me if I was depressed... they asked how long I had been depressed for. I got the prescription that Caskey wanted and he still would not allow me to return to work. He wanted me to do a follow-up with the psychiatrist.

Dr. Caskey also told me I would be closely monitored when I went back to work. He also felt my performance would not improve without anti-depressants. That's what he used to justify not allowing me to return.

The psychiatrist put me on Zoloft and I really reacted to it... maybe because I am not depressed. I felt like I had the flu and couldn't get out of bed. I think it actually invoked feelings of depression. I called Telehealth since I was exhibiting a number of symptoms from the warning label on the medication and they said to contact a doctor immediately. Back to the ER where they said it was normal.

Eventually I was back at the ER to get a new medication. This time they put me on a Benzodizapine which is used to treat acute insomnia, not chronic insomnia. It is also a restricted medication and highly addictive as I learned first hand.

Between work and Dr. Caskey they were not allowing me to return to work until after the follow-up with the psychiatrist. I still remember Chris calling. She asked how I was doing. I said something about the Fibromyalgia and she basically accused me of lying. You could tell she thought it really was depression. Right about now I really want to say "I told you so."

Keep in mind that the doctor had not run any tests to rule anything out. He just felt it was depression and that was the end of the discussion. Then with my three trips to the ER. The 2 psychiatrists I saw just long enough to write a prescription. And the ER doctor just felt the reaction to Zoloft was normal. Is that why there are lawsuits against the manufacturer?

After the first month off work I finally got a family doctor. I was sick of getting the run around. The first thing he did is change the medication to one that wasn't addictive and helps the Fibromyalgia and the sleep. Then he referred me to a rheumatologist.

When I saw the rheumatologist he did some chest x-rays (since I was sick at the time), back x-rays and some blood work. Then I was recalled for the blood work. That concerned me a little but they didn't tell me why it was done.

After 2 months I finally had the appointment with the psychiatrist. It lasted about 15 minutes. He didn't feel I was in crisis any more and thought I was fine to return to work. He did think I should go to see the EAP counsellor and/or take part in an eating disorder support group at the Women's Health Center. Now that is just a judgment call on the part of the psychiatrist. I have a really hard time gaining weight. But I'm not withholding food. Maybe this was a sign they should be looking at metabolism and thyroid disorders. I never saw the EAP counsellor either. I am pretty sure my file at work indicates that I have clinical depression. That might be good for job security but it is completely false.

I've been back at work for 3 months now. My performance has not been an issue. Well okay my sales this month are low... but it's the first time for that. I'm meeting all my mandates... and passing all my aces. Of course I still have a while to go before I can apply for anything due to the disciplinary action prior to my LOA which they didn't remove after the doctor decided that it was all because of depression.

Now here is the part that makes me angry. Things might have been very different if the first doctor had not just passed the buck but had actually done tests to rule out other issues. Now I realize that he could not look past the self-injury and treated me with no respect as a result. The self-injury is about coping, nothing more. And as a side note I have not cut myself (intentionally any ways) in over a year now. When the rheumatologist did the blood work they discovered my white blood cell count was low and so was the platelet count. The second blood test came back the same. So when I went in to see my family doctor he redid the tests since it had been 2 months and said if they came back the same then he would refer me to a hematologist and more then likely I would need a bone marrow biopsy done. The low platelet count would account for the fatigue and the low white blood cell count accounts for being sick quite often. I can't fight anything off. This time around the red blood cell count might also be low. When the tests were done the first time I was taking iron supplements 3x a day (5x the recommended dose of iron in one day so it's no wonder the red blood cell was normal). The reason he wants to do the bone marrow biopsy is to make sure the bone marrow is still producing blood cells. That's usually a serious thing. For now it's still a waiting game. The test results haven't come back yet. So we'll see.... but I finally feel validated... They're no longer telling me it's all in my head. Imagine that... there actually is a physical reason for this.

Needless to say I am not too fond of the doctors I saw regarding my LOA, aside from my family doctor. After all there were 3 doctors and 3 psychiatrists and not one of them did any tests. It would've been nice to catch this 4.5 months ago. At least then I would've had the answers by now... and if it's something that is easily treated would already be feeling better. But no... they just wanted to give me the label of depression and believed that anti-depressants would be the answer.