On Being a Good Pillow

The last couple of days Azrael has really decided that I make a fantastic pillow, even more than usual. Makes it a little more challenging to get anything done since he will just walk across me and then curl up. And he always wins.... The computer can wait. If nothing else he really helps me to relax. He is my big suck. But he's not that social, really. Yes he will curl up with me (or on me) but for the most part it's not that he really wants attention from me. Azrael just wants to be near me. That's my baby.

Disney and Voodoo

As an interesting note to go with the last post I discovered yesterday that Disney is developing a film called The Princess and the Frog about a black princess from New Orleans. It seems to be full of stereotypes but I guess that is not really a surprise. And there will be two characters that practice voodoo in the film, one being the evil villain. From what I can tell it will do nothing more than propagate the image that pop culture likes to show... namely that voodoo proliferates in New Orleans.... and that voodoo is all about the black magic and cursing people which is really not the case. But if Disney shows it then it must be true, right?

Freedom of Religion

Eventually I'll get back to blogging about the normal mundane aspects of my life... well if my life ever becomes normal that is *lol* Maybe reading Adbusters was a bad thing. It got me questioning things again.... critical thinking is not a skill I had seen in myself since my university days.

Now anyone in Canada will tell you that one of the fundamental freedoms we have is the freedom of religion. But is that really the case? I guess the better question is, are all religions created equal? The answer would be an unequivocal no. Of the approximately 10,000 religions that exist in the world only about 60 are truly protected.

About 85% of Canadians identify themselves as Christian so they would have nothing to worry about. Let's say I practiced Scientology (it was the first one that came to mind... well second.... but the other one has a few more issues). I would have to tolerate your religion and could not discriminate against you for your beliefs but the reverse is not necessarily true.

Makes me wonder who decides which religions are protected and which ones don't make the grade. I've posted before about the truth behind voodoo and as you can probably already guess it is not amongst the 60. In the US it is a recognized religion.

I believe that as long as your religion does not break the law then you should be free to practice it without fear of discrimination and harassment. Just because it's not a mainstream religion does not negate your beliefs. So feel free to make those voodoo dolls.

And now I am back to wondering just what rights we have under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. It seems that the freedom of religion is only true if you practice certain religions that the government approves of. Maybe freedom of any kind is nothing more than an illusion.

Consumer Consumed

I was sorting the recycling the other day and it really does say a lot about you... As anyone that knows me would guess it largely consisted of empty Coke cans. But there were several Kleenex boxes as well... from the congestion I've been experiencing for a while now. Add to that a number of empty cans of Pringles, a sign of one of the current addictions. And you can't forget the empty KFC boxes. Mmm... Toonie Tuesdays. Reminds me of being in school. Made for a cheap meal then too. I realized that there is a lot of waste. Sure I might be recycling it but there is still a lot being consumed.

The items in the recycling bin tell a story about who I am... and what I buy into. But you just have to look around my apartment to see the consumer culture at work. There are Coke bottles being used as decorations. By the door are not one but two pairs of Nike shoes. I've already mentioned that my closet is just full of brand names. But it's not just in clothes. Brand names abound. I have Martha Stewart bedding and towels. And just look in my kitchen cupboards. Even those items that undoubtedly taste the same but cost less because they lack a brand name are nowhere to be found. Instead there are Lipton Sidekicks, Black Diamond cheese slices, Cheerios, etc. I've bought into the propaganda... errr... marketing.... that if it is made by a known company then it somehow "must" be better. You relate to the brand name.

But no matter what I own materialism does not bring with it happiness. And while I might be laying my head on a Sealy bed at night no one but me (well now anyone that is reading this) would know that. And I know that Azrael doesn't care that he's currently lying on a Harley Davidson blanket. As long as he gets attention and his bowl filled with Iams every couple of days he is quite content.

Likewise the people that really care about me don't really care if I am wearing the latest fashion line from the Gap (which in my case just might be Gap kids). In fact most of them probably wouldn't even notice what I was wearing. As long as I have clothes on and they don't look really hideous.... Maybe I should try that and see who notices. The hideous clothes that is... not being completely naked. Love my friends and all but not quite that much. *lol*

Slave to Fashion

If you take a look in my closet you will quickly see that it is filled with brand names. In adolescence I thought that my identify was defined by what I wore. Even now I feel like I have an easier time being accepted with my Gap jeans on and my Club Monaco shirt. I am all for that boost in self-confidence. It also means that the marketers are doing their job... and doing it well.

Having said that I no longer go out and spend $70 on a pair of jeans. I now go down to Value Village and see what I can find. Spend a fraction of the price getting it second hand and still feel like I fit in. Someone else's trash is another person's treasure.

It's All About the Timing

So the last couple of weeks have been pretty rough. I have been fighting Apple to get my computer replaced yet again. The estimate right now is that I will have the new one between July 20th and July 30th. So.... basically I will have been without a working computer for about 8 weeks. Not good.... and I really want it back. I want to banish the PC and go back to my Mac. I really miss it. Plus I have been dealing with the abscess that has sent me to the hospital twice. After 2 weeks the pain finally started to go away and it's now going down in size. But I don't do helpless very well. Needless to say I feel worn out. I feel overloaded and just overwhelmed.

Then on Tuesday I get a call. That's unusual in and of itself *lol* Since it was morning I missed it. But it was my biological mother. She was going to be at the Peterborough zoo on Wednesday and wanted to meet. I was really torn about this. It comes down to timing. I really do want to meet her. But, at the same time, I just wanted to withdraw from the world until I didn't feel quite so overwhelmed. Now I was going to go but when I called to find out the details I just got the answering machine and she did not return my call. So I figured plans had changed. Turns out she did come to Peterborough and I missed it since I was sound asleep.

I'm a little disappointed that I missed out. It's not like I have many opportunities for this. But I am also a little relieved. I already felt like I was fighting with everything. Not exactly the best frame of mind to be meeting someone. Hopefully the next time around I don't have quite so much going on. Who am I kidding? That seems to be the story of my life.

Lost in Translation

Yesterday I decided to try and download some of the clips from Live Earth... especially the environmental segments. I spent several hours on Google videos, AOL videos, Veoh and Youtube looking for footage. I found the commercial that aired ahead of time, Al Gore's speech and a couple of the clips that were used.... but that was it. Of the 75 pages that I looked at on Google's video search 99.9% of it was just the bands playing. And if you go to MSN's feed of Live Earth all you really get is the bands there too. So what happened to the message? Somehow it seems to have gotten lost in translation.

Live Impact

I took a test to determine my carbon footprint. My score was 209 which is a carbon output of 4 tons. So how does that compare to others? Scores range from 150 to 900 and the lower the score the better. The average individual living in a household puts out 12 tons and the average apartment/condo dweller puts out 8 tons. The average score in the US is 325 and in Canada it's 325. Since I don't drive I think I have a high carbon footprint and am definitely looking for ways that I can reduce the impact I have. Now there is talk of carbon offsetting where you do things like plant trees, or invest in alternative energy sources. So what did they estimate the cost would be for me to offset the carbon being produced? It would cost about $2000. Makes me wonder how much Al Gore would have to pay. See my post on Gore for further details.

Taking Sarah's Advice

So tonight I took Sarah's advice. While watching the Nascar race I had a hot compress under one arm and the cat under the other. Azrael was doing a great job of keeping me company. Not exactly an exciting evening but it was restful which is exactly what I needed.

Why I Like My Sports

People like to make fun of me for watching baseball since it's not exactly fast paced. Now that is part of what appeals to me. I find it quite relaxing. Quite often I'll curl up with Azrael on the futon and actually rest. Now those that know me know that usually I have 101 things on the go... so if I can find some way to take it easy that's a good thing. Of course I might even take the opportunity to have a nap since I can wake up and will likely not have missed that much.

I actually subscribe to the Sports Pack with Cogeco so that I can catch all the action. Now for the most part I don't need it... except in the winter when I want to watch college basketball. The networks don't tend to play them unless it's time for March Madness. I enjoy watching the Duke Blue Devils or the UCLA Bruins. In the summer obviously I watch the Toronto Blue Jays. I also watch the Nascar Nextel Cup races which is what's on TV now. Go Dale Jr.! Whenever possible I'll watch the FIFA games... cheering on Brazil and Italy. And all season round I'll also watch the UFC.

Advantages of watching any sport: lasts longer than 30 minutes or an hour so you don't have to find something to watch as often. Fewer commercials! Now I will quite often record shows so I can skip the commercials any ways.,... but think about it. When you watch a baseball game the only commercials occur in between each half inning. It's not every 7.5 minutes. Or if it's a soccer game the only commercials are during halftime.

Do as I Say and Not as I Do

I had a few different ideas for the title of this post. One of them was "Talking out the left side of your mouth" and another was "Standing for Nothing" but the first one sounded more like a slam on the former prime minister Jean Chretien and the second I just might use for another post.

Former vice-president Al Gore is known for his Oscar worthy film "The Inconvenient Truth." And today he is also going to be remembered for Live Earth. I am not knocking the message. I believe that we need to change our attitudes towards the environment and can't continue on the way we are going. There isn't a limitless supply of the resources and there are consequences to our actions.

However, I find it interesting that this message is coming from someone who has a 10,000 square foot home, including electric gates and an indoor swimming pool. His utility bill is $30,000 US a year. That is more money than I made last year. Hmmm.... funny how he criticizes others for their use of electricity and for their ecological footprint and yet he spent $30,000 in utility bills. Isn't it funny? I mentioned in my last post the carbon offsetting. So I guess Al Gore is paying penance for his actions by doing what, planting a few trees? Somehow I can't see him getting on his hands and knees and planting those trees so instead he'll buy his way out of it. Inconvenient truth or inconvenient hypocrite?

Recently I have seen a number of commercials with David Suzuki touting the use of energy efficient appliances and changing the lightbulbs in your home. Again, the message is good. Suzuki has also been on a cross country tour promoting his environmental message. He was using a diesel bus... not exactly environmentally friendly. On top of that the bus would hold about 30 people and at most there were 8 people in it. So why not get a bio-diesel van? Maybe it was because then he couldn't put as much advertising on the side.... Instead he'd rather add to the CO2 emissions.

But that's not all.... Back in February Suzuki went on air and said, "’Im not getting any money from my foundation. I’m getting my money, the foundation gets its money, from ordinary people. We don’t take government money, corporations have not been interested in funding us. We get it from ordinary Canadians across the country. 40,000 thousand of them and we get some foundations in both Canada and the United States. So that’s my agenda. We speak on behalf of the people that fund us." Hmm... no corporations eh? Then why is it that the 2005-2006 annual report for the David Suzuki Foundation list something like 52 corporations including Bell Canada, RBC, IBM, Microsoft, Toyota and Canon. The David Suzuki Foundation also received donations from EnCana Corporation, a world leader in natural gas production and oil sands development, ATCO Gas, Alberta’s principle distributor of natural gas, and a number of pension funds including the OPG (Ontario Power Generation) Employees’ and Pensioners’ Charity Trust. OPG is one of the largest suppliers of electricity in the world operating 5 fossil fuel-burning generation plants and 3 nuclear plants. So I guess that begs the question, whose agenda is he really pushing for? Can he be believed with the backing of some of these companies?

According to the government of Canada web site, "Canada’s New Government’s environmental agenda will be bolstered by the creation of a new Cabinet Committee on the environment and energy security. The Committee will pursue practical, results-oriented solutions to decrease Canada’s greenhouse gas emissions, reduce pollution and improve the health and well-being of Canadians." Hmm... sounds nice. However, back in 2002 Harper said that the Kyoto Accord was a "socialist scheme" and felt it was designed to suck money out of rich companies. Thanks to Harper Canada will be the first country that ratified the Kyoto Accord to formally abandon its commitment to the international agreement. Harper may appear to be taking an environmental stand but it's a mask.... It's all for show.

I firmly believe that it starts at home. Don't just talk the talk but walk the walk as well. If they want to be believed they need to practice what they preach. I don't want hypocrisy. I want authenticity.

The Hypocrisy of Live Earth

As most people probably know today is "Live Earth" Al Gore's big concerts for climate change... I'm currently watching the New York concert on TV and I must admit that it is really slick. But, for the most part, the only environmental message is in between sets. So that begs the question.... why do we need pop stars rocking it out? Now some of these stars really do practice what they are currently preaching.... bands like the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Linkin Park. But a lot of them live in mansions, use limousines and have their own jet to travel in style. I'd want to go just to hear the bands.... which was the point. Get them in and then hope that they listen to the message as well. Maybe politicians should take note for when they are campaigning.

It's not just the messengers I question. I question the medium. As I watch the concert and see the stadium packed full of people you wonder what the ecological cost is of all this. All of those people had to get there somehow. Not only that but there was the stage construction and all the electricity going to the stage for all the lights and the equipment.

What is their answer to that? They plan on offsetting the carbon that is being used. So the message there is that it's okay as long as you pay for it. Reminds me of Catholicism actually. 10 hail Mary's and all is okay again. Prevention is worth a pound of cure. Shouldn't it be about reducing the ecological footprint and not damaging the environment in the name of climate change and then paying for it later? Seems to go against what they are supposedly promoting. I call that hypocrisy.

Current Events

Life is always an adventure... Yesterday I called tech support again. This time there were no hassles which is new. Pretty quickly the computer was ruled DOA meaning that it will be replaced yet again. I'm still not sure about that decision. I mean it's great that I will get a working computer out of it.... But I am not so enthusiastic about being without the computer yet again. I've already lost a month to this, time I will never get back. I just don't have any fight left in me right now.

I was also back at the hospital last night. The pain has been increasing from the abscess. Unfortunately, the size had not increased so the doctor was still unwilling to drain it. It's been there for a week and is not getting any better. But there is nothing I can do except wait and hope that the antibiotics really do take care of it.

I feel like I am fighting everything and everyone at the moment. Both of these things are taking a huge toll on me and I feel like I am running on empty at the moment. Part of me just wants to completely withdraw and push everyone away. My justification: self-preservation. But I know that escapism isn't the answer. I'm still hoping that things start going well... and soon.

Personal DNA

Considerate Creator

My personalDNA Report

Keyboard as a High Powered Device

I know most people are reading the title of the post and wondering what drugs I am on. But that is seriously what I was told by technical support last night when I called. I'm still having issues with the USB port and was told that it's normal for high powered devices not to work as expected because the iSight camera is using the same USB bus. The specifications don't say that. So I asked about the Apple keyboard I had tested. The agent said that it was USB 2 (umm... nope... We're talking an Apple keyboard from the original iMac... back before USB 2) and was a high powered device. I just about asked hi what drugs he was on. Then I just had to ask what was a low powered device.... a mouse. So... let me get this straight I have one working USB port and the other is just for mice? WTF??? Now the representative never asked me if the iSight worked when the port stopped working. As a side note it does work.... so clearly the issue is actually with the USB port. He also never gave me the chance to test with a mouse. Then the call ended. And once again I ended up in tears.

Skip ahead to today. My wake up call is from executive relations. I wish I was recording that call! He told me that it is normal for that USB port to have issues with high powered devices and went on a speech about that. Hmm... doesn't that mean that Apple is making false promises on the USB port. I have the specifications and it says that any USB device can be used with it. And that doesn't explain why keyboards and mice don't work. I did test a USB mouse right after the call to tech support and *insert shocked look here* it didn't work. The mouse wasn't recognized either. So when I told Stuart that I was told I have to take the computer in to be examined. Now I called Microage and they have one Mac tech who is booked solid today and the rest of the week is hit or miss. Now I have no way to get to the Apple store so now I have very few options and feel like I am completely boxed in. Not only that but they want to test the drive to make sure it's not causing issues. Hmm.... the external drive is self powered so it's not even drawing power off the USB port. It is using the cable just for communication so there is no way that it can cause issues with the power. But whatever.... Now I have to jump through hoops to prove that the computer really is defective. This takes more of my time and energy. All this because the first agent didn't do their job properly and lied to me. Now I will continue to use Apple because I prefer the software but I am certainly not a happy Apple customer.

Wiped Right Out

Ever have one of those days/weeks/months where you just feel completely out of whack? That's me right now. I can't put my finger on why although it's likely just related to the whole chain of events. The last few weeks seem more like a soap opera then real life. So much drama. It really started at th beginning of June when I called tech support. Things had been going really well and life was on the way up. Then it rapidly went downhill with the way I was treated calling tech support. Then there was the fondue. Trying to get a replacement computer was like pulling teeth and caused a great deal of frustration. That just dragged on and took a toll on me. Last weekend I said it was like high school... yeah it only got worse from there. So still reeling from that and then to be troubleshooting the brand new computer. Turns out it really is DOA after all :( Oh yeah and now I am battling an infection. All I know is that I am tired all the time. I slept for 12 hours the other night... but that could also be stemming from the all nighter I decided to pull waiting for the computer. I'm hoping that things turn around and soon.