Putting My Feet Up

Must say that I really love my BlackBerry. Other then my pet peeve I have not posted about it. I can certainly understand now why they call it the CrackBerry. I used to scoff at it But now that I have one... wow.... I purchased a micro-SD card so it has now replaced my PDA as my MP3 player. It can do just about everything the PDA can any ways. Now the GPS is something that I would have to pay Bell for so should I actually need the GPS I'd likely use the PDA for that. I can sync it with both the PC and the Mac so the calendar and contacts are up to date. I've had a love/hate relationship with FaceBook but the BlackBerry has a Facebook application which is a trimmed down version. Basically I can check status updates, post on people's walls, and send messages which is all I really need. So I am always on it. Brian and I have email wars on it. I also have Google Talk but it doesn't seem to be working quite right... possibly because I'm still signed in on the Mac. Plus I have unlimited email capabilities. There are games, memos, and a number of other applications for it. Oh yeah and it's also a phone. Okay so now that you all know I love my BlackBerry that really wasn't the reason for the post.

My goal for yesterday was to go to the hospital right after work yesterday. Plans didn't quite work out that way but I did make it to the hospital... just a little later. Fortunately I had the BlackBerry there to keep me company. So I had music to listen to and was writing an email. Sort of made it all tolerable... especially since I was there for 3 hours in the end.

Since you may be wondering why I was there (if you haven't already looked at the labels any ways) I was battling another ingrown toenail. Was at the hospital about 6 months ago and all they did was give me antibiotics. So it never really got better and just got infected again. The nail doesn't seem to grow out... just into the skin. For the last two months I have been trying to battle it on my own with Epsom salt baths and just digging at it, trying to drain the infection. But with no luck... just a lot of pain. I woke up yesterday adn just decided that it was time. Maybe it was the fact it was hurting to walk... or the fact that it was constantly bothering me... or just the concern that the infection was going to get worse and cause more problems. So I went.

So I get put in one of the rooms to wait for the doctor. One of the other nurses comes by since she wants to put a patient in that room. After all there are only certain rooms that they can do sutures in. She asks why I am there and I tell her. The response, "I wonder if they'll even do anything." Things that a health care professional just shouldn't say. I had been there for about 2 hours at this point and I do remember the last time I went in for the same problem. I wanted them to do more this time... And I really don't want to have them doubting it. In some ways I felt like she was minimizing the complaint as well... since if they aren't (or might) not do anything then maybe I shouldn't be there.

So the doctor comes in. He wasn't going to do anything about the one since it's not bad enough. But the one that has been painful he decided to cut away part of the nail, which is exactly what I was expecting. First of all, when they decide to freeze it that really hurts. Fortunately he had prepared me for that. I won't give you the vivid image of them cutting away the nail. I will say that one of the nurses and someone else came in and they were talking about putting a picture up for kids to take their minds off the fact that they are being stitched up. My response, "I'm sure it wouldn't just be the kids that would like that since right now I'd rather be looking at a picture then watching him cut away my nail." Bandaged it up and I was on my way. Now since the toe was frozen I figured the walk home would be no big deal. I figured it would feel weird but that was about it. I was wrong. I think the anttistetic started wearing off partway through. But it really started hurting. By then I had no choice but to keep going though.

Fortunately I am off work until tomorrow night. I am under orders to walk as little as possible for the next couple of days. If nothing else it is forcing me to take it easy today and put my feet up. Not exactly something that comes naturally. I want to go run errands... do laundry... 101 other things... and instead I am updating my blog and taking it easy.

Does This Look Infected, Round 2

For the last week or so I have been battling with an ingrown toenail. I didn't want to go to the doctor about it. See a long time ago my family doctor had told me that if I continued to get them then I would need to have the nail completely removed. I really didn't want that to happen. So whenever the toenail got ingrown I pretty much did some home surgery (Read: butcher job) to cut away the nail and drain the infection. Needless to say that's not recommended. But I didn't want my nail to be removed since then it leaves the toe exposed and causes even more pain when you stub your toe. So basically I was afraid to admit that it was a recurring issue. However, this time it has been really bad. Tried the epson salts and tried digging it out (don't try that at home). Not working so well. The other day I was evacuated so I was standing outside. I'm sure that didn't help anything. I really didn't want to put pressure on my foot. Then last night I was standing more at work while talking to the manager in between calls. The pain just kept increasing and increasing and... you get the picture. So finally I decided to head straight to the ER after work. Do not pass go... do not collect $200. Needless to say they weren't so entertained with the home remedies and the DIY surgery attempts. I was there for 2 hours (short trip for me). The doctor didn't want to cut it open at the moment since he couldn't tell just how ingrown it was. So now I am on antibiotics to get rid of the infection and if it still doesn't get any better then I'll be back getting the nail cut away from the edge. Hopefully it doesn't come to that. I don't want to be back at the hospital. I was also reminded as to how with Fibromyalgia your sense of pain is really messed up. What would be a tolerable pain for most people may be twice as painful for me, just because the pain receptors are all out of whack. Unlike the fire I will not be posting pictures of the infection later.

Taking Sarah's Advice

So tonight I took Sarah's advice. While watching the Nascar race I had a hot compress under one arm and the cat under the other. Azrael was doing a great job of keeping me company. Not exactly an exciting evening but it was restful which is exactly what I needed.

Current Events

Life is always an adventure... Yesterday I called tech support again. This time there were no hassles which is new. Pretty quickly the computer was ruled DOA meaning that it will be replaced yet again. I'm still not sure about that decision. I mean it's great that I will get a working computer out of it.... But I am not so enthusiastic about being without the computer yet again. I've already lost a month to this, time I will never get back. I just don't have any fight left in me right now.

I was also back at the hospital last night. The pain has been increasing from the abscess. Unfortunately, the size had not increased so the doctor was still unwilling to drain it. It's been there for a week and is not getting any better. But there is nothing I can do except wait and hope that the antibiotics really do take care of it.

I feel like I am fighting everything and everyone at the moment. Both of these things are taking a huge toll on me and I feel like I am running on empty at the moment. Part of me just wants to completely withdraw and push everyone away. My justification: self-preservation. But I know that escapism isn't the answer. I'm still hoping that things start going well... and soon.

Brutal End to a Brutal Day

So the good news was that I got the MacBook Pro. The bad news was that I also discovered I had another infected abscess. That really took away from the day. This time it was on the right hand side and, of course, since that is my dominant hand I tend to use that arm more often. I was just at the hospital a month ago for this... I really didn't want to go back. But I know what happens if you don't get it taken care of. You end up at the ER crying like a baby when they cut it open. So I was trying to be happy about the MacBook Pro (once I got it working anyways) but was exhausted, in pain, and dreading that trip to the ER. Each time I end up having to go in twice and each visit is about 4 hours.... Not exactly how I wanted to spend the long weekend.

So Friday I make my way down to the ER. When I get there it is packed. So I get through triage and take a seat. 30 minutes later not a single name has been called, either for the fast track or for the non-fast tracked. I did get to see the security guards have to restrain someone after they ripped their IV out. I think it took about 2.5 hours for me to make it to the fast track area. How the hell is this fast tracked? By this point I am developing a REALLY bad migraine. Finally get in to see the doctor and he tells me it's too small to drain and puts me on an antibiotic. Now it's good news that they don't have to surgically drain it. But that also means that I could end up having to go back if it worsens. The other bad news is that they put me on an antibiotic. I have no drug coverage currently and am so broke that I borrowed $20 to cover rent. So then I ended up having to borrow another $25 for the antibiotics.

Finally have something to eat while I take the medication. And the migraine is so bad that I am trying not to vomit. It's pretty rare for the pain to be that bad. I get home and lay down on the futon. I wanted to stay up so I could take another round of the antibiotics before going to bed. But it was pretty brutal. I was dozing off and on. It was also hurting my neck.

And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse.... at 2:00 a.m. the fire alarm goes off. So not what I needed. Splitting headache.... and the alarm is not quiet. So I stumble around to get shoes.... keys... phone.... and then head out the door. Now I run into a guy in the hallway that tells me the alarm was pulled on the 4th floor and shows the alarm. But at least it's quieter outside so I keep going. And I am standing out front when the command post arrives. He asks me how I'm doing. My response, "Better if the alarm wasn't going off." Then 2 fire trucks arrive. But they didn't stay long. This must have been the shortest alarm ever which is good.

Today is a much better day. The migraine is gone. So far today the medication has not made me nauseous. I suspect that will be a short lived thought since it made me feel pretty sick yesterday. Went out and got some sun. Now I am relaxing. I am pretty tired from my lack of sleep Wednesday night... and just a culmination of things so I am taking it easy for the remainder of today... and probably the rest of the weekend too.

What a Week

I got home from the weekend away on Monday. As I mentioned before I came home with a sore throat and congestion. I was also a little tired. I am still battling the congestion. I'm not sure if it's allergies or a cold but it's brutal. My nose is actually raw from blowing it so often. The congestion is also interfering with thought process and making me somewhat miserable.

Tuesday I went to the hospital. They were packed. Fortunately I didn't have to wait for the triage nurse. As I sat down I realized that the batteries in my MP3 player were dead. No music for me. I was there for 3 hours. The doctor took a look at it and said that she could cut it open or could try antibiotics. She did not believe the antibiotics would make a difference... I was already prepared for them to be draining the abscess and have no drug coverage so that was the option I went with. It didn't hurt nearly as much this time but I also hadn't waited until the infection was really bad. Then I found out the batteries were also dead in my cell phone so I couldn't call my ride home. Good thing it's a short walk.

If that wasn't fun enough they wanted me to come back the next day to have it checked out. Just the thought of that makes me cranky. I get there and it took 30 minutes just to get to the triage nurse. I think the heat was making people crazy since it seemed to be loony day there. The lady ahead of me was threatening to harm herself or others. The crisis nurse was super busy and everywhere I went I was hearing these tales of woe. Everyone else seemed to be there with a broken arm. It was theme day in the ER. Now I think that if you have a follow-up visit they should bump you up the line... After all you have already done your time. Instead, it was the 30 minutes I already mentioned while waiting for the triage nurse. Then an hour in the waiting area, followed by 30 minutes waiting for the doctor while in one of the exam rooms. I literally saw the doctor for less then a minute. He checked how it was healing and decided it didn't need to be re-packed. No wonder I am a little bitter. It took 2 hours to see the doctor for about 45 seconds and have a bandaid put on. Plus there was the 30 minutes that it took me to get to the hospital and back. The only good part is that it was a gorgeous day so I got to work on my tan on my travels.

At the moment I am a little crispy. My shoulders are a little red after spending time in the sun every day this week. I should really try and get errands done in the fewest number of trips. But then I really enjoy the time in the sun. I find it to be very therapeutic. Now if only I had some aloe vera or some After Sun.

Adventures of the Past Week

This story really began in a previous post and me not sticking it out at the hospital. That was last Tuesday. On Wednesday I was back to work. I spent the last of my laundry money in cab fare to get to work. There was no way I was going to be able to walk there. People have said that the pain was just written all over my face and I was actually white. I could see the infection by this point and could not move my arm. I was really nursing the arm. The lump was pressing on the muscles which is why there was so much pain. I only went to work because I had two meetings to go to that day. I even stuck it out for the entire shift. Then it was back to the ER. I got there around 10:00. For two hours they did not call a single name. The first person waiting to be called had been there for almost 4 hours. Just to make matters worse three of the nurses were called to help the patients that had been admitted. And two of the doctors were going home. They ended up getting the doctors to stay for an extra hour. As expected it was infected. For whatever reason I had developed an abscess that had become infected. They had to cut it open and drain it. Then they had to pack it. That was one of the most painful things I've ever had done. They said they were going to freeze it. So I was under the assumption that I wasn't going to feel anything. Yeah right... Brought me to tears. At least they gave me T3s. After 2.5 hours I was able to go home... But Steve wasn't there to pick me up. I waited a half hour and then decided to just walk home. After all I was hoping to make it to work the next day. Every step I took with my left foot was excruciating because it jarred the whole side of my body. I cried all the way home. the medication kicked in and I went to bed. Too bad it really didn't help me sleep.

So that was the second trip to the hospital. On Thursday I did go to work. I was tired and still in pain but was determined to make it in. This time I did walk to work. After work it was back to the hospital to have the bandages changed. Another hour and a half wait... More pain as they unpacked it and then repacked it. Then they put moleskin all the way around my arm to prevent it from being aggravated. I had limited mobility at that point. Got home and, once again, it was time for bed.

Friday I didn't have to go to the hospital. That was finally some good news. I really didn't want to have to go back. Yet I still went into work, in spite of it all. I'm still not sure if it was dedication or insanity. I wanted to set an example. And I had a job to do. I wanted to make sure it got done.

Saturday more of the same. I walked to work and was starting to feel the pain in my muscles. I woke up with a sore throat as well. For the 4th straight day I did not take any calls. Whenever I was typing I had to take breaks. It was insanely busy so I didn't get to leave on time. I had to wait for my ride. I also helped people get off their calls. So I didn't get home until after 10:00. I had to take the bandages off and remove the packing. That took a really long time. Some of it was slow on account of pain as well. Then it was bedtime since I was going back on day shifts the next day. I didn't even have time for dinner.

Sunday at least I had a ride to work... Although initially he forgot about me. I actually had to call work and tell them I would be late. Then Steve showed up. Now I was back to taking calls. But what's worse then being in pain? Being sick and in pain... As soon as I woke up I was congested beyond belief and could feel it into my ears. My throat was also still sore. I get really irritable when I'm sick. I might have called in sick but I had a coaching session that absolutely had to be done that day.

Monday was finally the last day I had to work. It was a 6 day stretch and I was definitely in need of time off. I got home and was watching TV. I actually managed to fall asleep which is unusual for me. I might have just gone to bed but I knew Steve was stopping by after work. We got in an argument about my student loan. He seems to think I should stop having work automatically deposit my pay cheque and then should default on my student loan. When I know I should qualify for interest relief that doesn't really seem like a good option. Not to mention the impact it has on my credit rating. I jsut stopped listening to him though. He didn't stay long at least.

And now I am still sick but am enjoying a couple of days off. I am not allowing myself to leave... unless I'm heading back to the hospital for antibiotics. It's hard because I have a habit of wandering on my days off. But I really do need to take it easy or this has the potential of being like when I had the flu and it took a LONG time to recover. Needless to say it has been a long week and I think it will be a while before I am back to being 100% (or at least as close to 100% as I ever am).

Trip to the ER

So today I decided the pain was too bad not to do something about it. I needed something to bring the infection down and make it so I could move my arm. I get there and the ER is crowded. Now it's 3:30 in the afternoon... not exactly what you expect to see. I mean there aren't even enough chairs for people. Someone had told me that on the weekend people were there overnight... I suspect that it's at least partially due to the construction going on at the hospital. 30 minutes later there were still 10 people ahead of me just to get to the triage. And the sign says the approximate wait times is 4 hours, AFTER the triage. I decided since I wasn't dying that I wasn't going to waste my entire day off at the emergency room. Now that says something right there. The old saying is "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Granted in this case it's not really prevention any more... but shouldn't issues be treated before they become that serious? I wonder how many people give up waiting and then wind up back at the ER when it really does become serious... Or maybe they should be getting some of the nurses to treat patients that are just minor to get them treated and on their way home. Isn't that part of what triage is supposed to be? I guess time will tell as to whether the infection goes away on it's own or if I get forced into a situation where I absolutely have to get it looked at.

Owwww

I've had swollen lymph nodes for months now... I am so used to waking up congested in the morning. Underneath my jaw the lymph node seems to be tender after that fateful trip to the dentist. Frequently the lymph nodes in the armpit will also swell. Normally it will just be one side and goes away after a few weeks... Not this time. I first noticed it about 6 months ago... and after they told me the white blood cell count was low then I just shrugged it off... Then they said that was only slightly low and were not concerned about it. But the lymph nodes on both sides are still swollen and are not getting any better. I'm not sure if it's related to walking home and carrying the MacBook Pro... possibly pulling on my arm... but now I can't raise my left arm without pain. If I press on one of the lymph nodes it causes pain... I would just go to the doctor except that he is in Pickering. If it's still as painful tomorrow and I have limited mobility then I just might be making a new trip to the ER. It's obviously not going away on it's own and is now getting worse. The congestion... swollen lymph nodes... and fatigue may even be related. But if I just continue suffering in the hopes it will get better I'll never know.

Cruel & Unusual

As I write this I am soaking my foot in an Epsom salt bath... talk about cruel and unusual punishment. I have a really high pain tolerance and all I want to do is remove my foot from the water. I know I need to do it, to try and get rid of the infection but c'mon. Looks like I'll be doing as little walking as possible in the next few days since I can't put any pressure on it. And this better work. I'd hate to think I am enduring this pain for nothing. Probably should've done this before I started on the home medical procedures though. It would've worked better. Live and learn I suppose.

Part 2 of the cruel and unusual punishment... applying alcohol to it. For as bad as soaking it was... that was 100x worse. I might need an alcoholic drink now to recover from that experience. Wow.

Does This Look Infected?

All week I've been battling an ingrown toenail. I get them frequently. The nail never seems to grow properly. at one point my family doctor was thinking about removing the nail completely but I didn't like that option. Maybe after this week I'll reconsider. It became infected so I was trying to drain it, let it heal. But I couldn't seem to get it to drain. It was just extremely sensitive and causing a lot of pain. I could barely walk and it was quite painful. Since I don't have a family doctor I just about went down to the ER but really didn't want to sit there for three hours. So today I was back to the home medical care, trying to tear away some of the skin. Hope no one is eating while reading this. It worked a little too well. All of a sudden it was bleeding... left a nice trail of blood across the apartment. What kind of stain remover works on blood? I think I might soak it in a little while... see if that helps. It has stopped bleeding at least. The things you do on your day off.