Cut Out the Coke

Towards the end of the school year I decided to stop drinking Coke. I had been contemplating it for a while since I rarely finish a can so it goes to waste. Pouring a lot of money down the drain along with it. I also couldn't help but wonder if it was at least partially responsible for the issues I was having with my blood sugar. So I decided that once the case was gone instead of replenishing the stock I was just going to cut it out entirely. I have now replaced it with Fruitopia. I know some people will criticize that choice since it does have a pretty high sugar content itself (still not as high as Coke). But it also has fruit juice and vitamin C. So at least I am getting something good out of it. And if you do feel the need to complain just be happy I am no longer drinking Coke and let it go.

So how is it going? I stopped in mid April I think. Hadn't had one at all until yesterday. I had one in my fridge and I didn't open it because I was craving it... or even really wanted it. I wanted the iCoke points from it. Right from the first sip I knew I couldn't drink it. So I got through a couple of sips and got rid of the rest. Guess I am done for good.

And the picture? That's a 3 week supply of Fruitopia... I have another 3 containers in the fridge door as well.

New Job

I really am in a good place... finished my semester with high marks... and even before the semester ended I had a summer job lined up on campus. So no stress about not having money and trying to find a job. Much more relaxing and getting better weather so far then last summer when I was unemployed.

So what's the job? I am working on campus in residence as a conference assistant. The only downside (and it's only sort of a downside) is that it's a live-in position. I get my own apartment here. It's pretty decent except that I don't have Az here (I miss my little buddy) and I only have a twin bed. Not sure how it will affect me come tax time since it's considered a taxable benefit (which means that the cost of the room will be added onto my income but would not have been taxed previously). But I am still paying rent on my own apartment which will hopefully help balance it out... plus in the remote chance that I do end up owing money I once again have tuition payments.

I think the job can really be best described as a jack of all trades type job. I really do a little bit of everything. There are 6 residences here, all with 4 floors of suites. Building 1 has the summer students and the office. Now I really have nothing to do with the students. Conferences will be starting this week and they are my primary responsibility. Before they get here I have to get all the keys ready and make sure they work. We had to create signs for each building and each suite. Check to make sure everything is working in those suites. Plus we had to get the rooms ready. The one day I left work pretty battered. From my knuckles to my wrist on both hands were bruised. I looked like I had been in a fight. Once they are here we have to check them in and will be on call while they are here (the reason for it being a live-in position). So some days I can't go to the gym, go home to see Az, or leave the village as it's known. At least I have someone else taking care of Az... as long as they don't wear flip flops again it should be fine. And really it's only July and August that are an issue.... when I will be on call literally every other week. 7 days on.... might have to work something out with Travis to cover for an hour or so to make it to the gym. He wants to go the gym too so it might work out.

We have also had to do room inspections when the students move out. Got to see how trashed some of the rooms were. We had to haul items out of the room. Perhaps we should have done the safety training before this... since as they pointed out the biggest safety issue we would run into is a needle prick injury from cleaning out their rooms. Fortunately nothing had happened... and we were only dealing with large items. Another job was to take the non-perishable food items over to main campus, presumably for their food bank. Travis took the other items to Valu Village except for the TV and bar fridge that they wouldn't take and I ended up adopting for the summer. The colour on the TV is a bit off but it saves me from bringing mine down here... I was going to go without the TV for the summer. I had a bar fridge at home but again it saved me from bringing it down here. Gives me something to put the PS3 on and a place for the cans of fruitopia.

Remember how I said it was the jack of all trades position? We also have to cover the office on occasion. I've also been doing some photocopying. Plus we had to sort through old files and shred anything that was over 7 years old and re-sort the files based on years. Then had to re-file them. Lots of hours spent on that project. Every time I had to go sort through the files I suddenly had trouble keeping my eyes open and it hurt my back a little. But at the end when I had to make sure they were in alphabetical order and re-file them I took my laptop up there and got caught up on some of my shows. Love my job.

Lastly (well last job so far) is doing work for the residence advisor. We have to sort and organize the rez life room... see what is useful and can be given to students and what can't. Get rid of what can't be used. We also have to print off and photocopy inspections, evaluations, and the hockey pool. And then for the back to school we have to call businesses and see what we can get for free stuff for the students and put the welcome kits together.

Lots to do which I love. The days just fly by. Hard to believe I have been here for a month. There are some days when it is really physically demanding but aside from the first day where I definitely did too much it's been okay. I may feel differently when someone is banging on the door at 3 am but I am loving it. The summer is just going to fly by I'm sure and being in rez I don't get many opportunities to go shopping and spend all kinds of money (okay so I did go to the Value Village 50% off sale) so hopefully I will also have money left afterwards... Of course I can always just shop online too.

Marks Are In

Okay so it's a little late but the marks are back:

DNA II - 84

Chemistry II - 90

Biology II - 98

Technical Communications - 98

Data Management - 99

Physics - 100

Needless to say I am quite proud of those marks. Now let's see if I can keep them up next year.

Will There Ever Be Another Show Like Lost?

Last night I sat down to watch the series finale of Lost... a show I have faithfully watched for 6 years. Now that it is all over I can't help but wonder if there will be another show like that. I know that not everyone will be happy with how it ended since there were still unanswered questions but I loved it. Most shows don't get to plan for a finale so the ending always leaves things unresolved and just comes to an abrupt end.... and most shows don't have an end date in mind so storylines can become muddled and disjointed. But Lost has been a one of a kind experience. I am going to miss it.

Now It Makes Sense

I have feeling pretty low as of late... finding it difficult to care about anything. Yet intuitively I thought that I should feel happy. After all we're heading into spring, we had warmer weather, school is almost over for the year, and everything is looking up. And yet I haevn't been able to shake the negativity. I was on Post Secret on Sunday as I am every week. Turns out that March actually has the highest suicide rate. I would've thought it would be January or February... or even December.... but no it's March. So I guess it does make a lot more sense that I would be feeling more blah this time of year... and I have no doubts that it's compounded by feelings that we shouldn't feel this way.... that we should be happier....

Bad Time to Be Sick

Bad time of year for me to be sick. Heading into crunch time. I seriously was thinking I was going to make it through the winter unscathed. I guess technically I did since I got sick just after Spring started. I am sure that stress had lowered my immune system. Then we went from being really warm to colder temperatures just as Spring started but I didn't break out the jacket as quickly as I should've. Spent quite a while outside at the zoo while not dressed for the weather. Could've gotten sick at school too. Either way it has hit me pretty hard.

Had to write a biology test on Friday. I cannot seem to stay hydrated no matter how much water I drink. I drank 2.5 bottles before the test and then 1 during the first hour of the test. Got halfway through and instead of focusing on the test I was focused on just how much I had to pee. It was bad. I rushed through the rest of the test and all I wanted to do was get out of there. I am sure that my mark won't be as good as I would like as a result.

Spent most of the weekend in bed or on the futon. The only problem? I had a chemistry test to prepare for as well. And a physics assignment to do. I gave up on one of the questions in chem during the test... just gave up. If I didn't absolutely have to be here for my other 2 classes today I would leave now so that I could take it easy. But I am a trooper and will stick it out. Maybe I will go have a nap between classes.

The Many Shades of Gray... or Perhaps not so Gray After All

I'm not sure if I was just blind (perhaps I should have attended class more often) but there seems to be a lot more cheating (or plagiarizing) in college then there was in university. Yet people don't even seem to think that what they are doing is wrong.

Take tests for example. For certain classes depending on when your lab is will depend on when you write the test. Not sure why but when people write the test first they feel this need to share with the people who write it later... even though they are really shooting themselves in the foot. Or they get asked what is on it and feel the need to share. The issue is that the same tests are given out.

Another example when it comes to tests is when you have to write tests on your own time. So you have a day (or more likely 2) where you can go in and write it. It never fails that once I have gone in and written it someone wants to know what was on it. One time I even saw someone post on FaceBook which questions would be on the test. Are you kidding me?

And then there is the copying of homework and what not which wouldn't have gotten you marks in university but sure does in college. Same goes for assignments, labs, etc. In university I am pretty sure that this would have been considered plagiarism but here it is rampant.

When I first planned on writing this I might have thought it was in the shades of gray since the teachers can't really be that blind to what's going on. And they could change the tests. But then right before one of my tests we got a warning from the course coordinator (who was also the instructor for that class) that if anyone is caught doing any of those things it will no longer be a 0 on the assignment but will be a 0 in the course. Pretty strong words. Wonder if it will make people think twice.

I Miss My Bracelet

Once again I have managed to break my bracelet. Guess this is why you don't wear them 24/7. Actually I broke it over Christmas and I have someone fixing it... just haven't seen them since then. I miss not having it. It was the daily reminder of how far I have come. More importantly, it is the reminder to take one day at a time and not to go back to it... no matter how tempted.

All Clear

Went to the doctors over reading week for my annual physical. He wrote my prescriptions for the next year. So far I have been given the all clear although there are some test results that he was waiting for. More importantly he gave me the all clear for going to the gym. I remember when I was in physio and I was strictly forbidden to run on the treadmill. I was allowed to walk at most 15 minutes (not that I listened) and there was no way I was going to be running. So I was surprised when he said to go ahead. Now he did recommend the eliptical over the treadmill because it is less weight-bearing but he thinks the cardio is good. Monday I ran 3 miles in 32 minutes and then did 40 sit-ups and 4 miles on the bike. I was quite proud of myself and so far no flare-ups as a result of the exercise. Hope I can keep it up!

Under Pressure

As soon as I thought of the title I thought of the song and now it's going through my head. Feeling a lot of pressure and stress at the moment. As far as academics go I am still doing extremely well. I just put a lot of pressure on myself. I am an overachiever. Mind you, I probably should have been studying instead of watching an autopsy video the night before a test. Well if the test was in biology it would have helped.... but it wasn't.

I know that one of the things that is really on my mind is the fact that if I don't have a summer job then it is possible I will be evicted. I know it's not the end of the world.... but it is still weighing on me quite a bit, and keeping me up at night. My EI will run out at the beginning of June and I think I can safely say that my apartment won't allow me to continue living there rent free... or even on the paltry sum that Ontario Works pays. So I am sincerely hoping that I will have a job and will be able to pay bills. I try not to think about it but that is easier said than done.

This time of year always tends to be hard on me.... Painful memories... and things just always seem to happen around now. Forget SAD it's Spring I have trouble with. LOL

Letter from the Dean

No it's not a letter saying I am in trouble. I got a letter for academic achievement. Quite proud of that and wanted to share. Hoping to get another one this semester! :)

Protector or Just Anti-Social

Az is now 6 years old and he really is my baby. Usually it is just me and him and home and I think he has really gotten used to that fact. I don't tend to have a lot of people over. Either he is just really anti-social or he seems to think I need protecting because he attacks just about everyone that comes over. I don't know what is going on but I really want the behaviour to stop. For one I am getting caught in the crosshairs because I don't want my friends to wind up bleeding all over my floors. And I really don't like it when he attacks and it hasn't been provoked. He was even stalking his prey the other day when a friend came over to study. For the first time ever I had to lock him in my room. Maybe I should have gotten him declawed after all. Open to suggestions if people have them.

Cinderella Complex

I was at the gym the other day (yes you heard that correctly) and was running on the treadmill, wondering if I was distributing my weight evenly as each foot hit the treadmill and wondering if other people thought I looked funny. A little bit later a friend of mine and I were talking about it. Then it hit me that really we are all just self-absorbed and it's nothing more than a Cinderella complex. The irony is that we are all focusing on what other people think of us and really they aren't thinking about you... they are wondering the exact same thing. I certainly don't pay attention to other people who are running, especially people I don't know. And am betting that people aren't really paying attention to me either.

Are You Retarded?

I will preface by saying that I am not about to attack or insult someone. The other day someone knocked on my door. I happened to be walking by Azrael and for whatever reason he freaked. Attacked me. And attacked me again while they were still at the door. Then was fine once they were gone. But by then had already shredded my knee.

The next day the super and the maintenance guy had to come by. I thought it was just to inspect the smoke detectors but apparently they were doing full inspections. Annual inspection? That's new... Haven't had that since I moved in. Love the new super. Any ways, Jeff knew about the killer cat. I always thought that it was at least somewhat provoked since he moved the cat out of the way with a broom. They came in and Az hid under the futon but then she walked by and he hissed and extended claws. Fortunately, she was wearing shoes so he didn't draw blood.

So when I came home she asked me why I hadn't warned her. Well I didn't know he would actually attack and I didn't think she was going to be there. Thought it was just going to be Jeff and the fire inspector. She called him my guard cat. Then asked if he might be retarded or brain damaged.

Why is it that we have this idea that all cats have the same temperament? There seems to be an assumption that cats are docile and love being petted endlessly. It seems that we have forgotten that cats didn't start out as domesticated animals and wild cats are not that friendly. Just like with humans cats (and other pets) they have their own unique personality.

Az doesn't like to be pet for long periods of time. This is pretty common for cats and he will let me know that he doesn't want any more. If I am walking by and he attacks my ankle that is a form of play aggression and is also common. The other time he attacks it's either a fear response or a territorial response. Let's face it this is his domain. Most of the time it's just him here or just the two of us. Not a lot of noise, other than maybe the TV or some music. But if something upsets that he does get thrown off. Now he is usually good if there are just a couple of people but that might also have to do with a) sex of the person who is over (back to territorial aggression... jealous of males) and b) my comfort level with that person.

Yeah he is an aggressive cat. There are certainly times I wish he was more like Tigger and just a big suck. But then he has already outlived all my other cats so that does give him points. Just because he is a more aggressive cat does not mean he is retarded.... It's just who he is.

Disconnect Between Reciting and Truly Understanding

So the labs for physics have provided some entertainment... like shooting a catapult and the blood spatter analysis. But as far as course content goes I am really struggling with it. Worst part is that there is a pretty good chance that I will come out with a good mark in the course and have learned very little in the process. When the class began there were 110 marks to be given out. Even that didn't seem like it was going to be enough when I started the class. Then there was a bonus assignment so another mark which hopefully has put my assignment mark back to 100%. There was also a bonus quiz. And now there is also a bonus test where you can get up to 5% of your course mark as a bonus. So that brings us up to 116 marks... plus 1 that can only go towards your assignments. Plenty of marks.... Gives me hope. At the same time I would prefer to actually understand the material and know why I am using a particular formula and not using the formula simply because that's what the textbook tells me to do.

Last weekend I literally spent about 5 hours working on one assessment. That assessment was worth 3% of my mark. Personally I thought that was a little too much work. In most of my other classes that would be an hour... maybe 2. And sure I can answer the questions on the assessment when it says refer to section x. Bu then I am pretty much like a trained monkey... and not doing it because I know it's what I need to do to solve. So when it comes to seeing the same question on the test, like I will be doing later this week I am screwed.

So I did what I needed to and got a tutor. Wise idea... had one session. The problem? They ran out of tutors and were turning people away. Now I could have just ignored that and continued to get help. But I felt bad and my altruism kicked in. After all I haven't gotten below a 93% on any of the assignments. Sure it's taking me a LONG time to figure out but I am getting there.... Other people are having a much more difficult time and getting a lower mark. So I figured they needed the tutor more than me and I canceled the tutoring. What irks me about that is that I ran into someone that can tutor the class, has an undergrad degree in physics, is tutoring in other classes, and yet he is not being used as a tutor. So why are people being turned away? And why is it that no one who took the course previously (since the tutor they are using is a prof at Fleming) is volunteering to tutor? I know they are busy... but I can't help but wonder if there is more to it than that.

As I said I might come out with a great mark in the class... but the odds of me becoming a tutor in that class is also extremely low. Why? A tutor has to be able to explain it and not just give the correct formula. They need to know and understand why that is the correct formula. And to be honest I am really just trying to survive the course. I've got 28.7% in that course right now. Now that number doesn't really mean anything except that only 29% has been given out... oh and it look the 1.9 I have in bonus marks has not been added in there either. Point is I am doing really well marks wise but have no real understanding of it. I want to understand the context... how it relates... and where you would use this in the real world. I think that would help me in knowing what formula to use and why. Instead all I have is this vague concept that I don't really understand: like say angular momentum... I would still have to look it up to tell you what formula to use. But I have no idea how I would ever use this. I want to know why.... or how.... And without that knowledge I won't even attempt to tutor someone else in it.

Now this is how the class usually goes... The handout just lists a bunch of sections from the text book. Then he stands at the front and will bring up that section from the text book... play the little interactive clip (our text book is primarily interactive and has web site access or a CD), provides us with the formula and then moves on to the next topic. Nothing ever really gets covered in depth. I feel overloaded with all the formulas. I know that's what physics is but I don't really feel like we actually covered them, aside from a few random demonstrations in class. I think this will be a lot like automation... well I certainly hope I have the same mark I did in automation (100%) but where I don't take away a whole lot from the course. Here's to hoping I can do okay on the test this week though.

Group Work and the Motivation of Others

We have a major group work project in my DNA class. We had to fill out a survey and based on how we filled out the survey is how we were assigned. The instructor based it on how motivated we are to work towards a deadline. So for the most part the high achievers were placed together and the people who ranked themselves in the middle were also placed together. But he couldn't put the people who gave themselves a 0 couldn't be placed together so they were dispersed throughout the other groups. And the other question that seemed to also determine the group division was how scared they were of public speaking. There is no question that I am a high achiever and for the most part I am with other people that are also high achievers.

I should also point out the marking scheme for this. We have to do the presentation to the entire class as a group. The instructor then assigns a mark out of 13. And if you think it;s a group mark you are wrong... The presentation is out of 15. You assign marks to the other members of your group, out of 2 based on how well you work with your group and whether or not you complete your assigned tasks. And then this is where it gets interesting. Let's say you give someone in your group 2 marks then you get whatever marks he gives you plus the 2 marks. If, however, you give them a lower mark, like say 1 then you only get 50% of the mark assigned by the instructor plus the 1 mark given by your group. And this leads to you failing the presentation.

There is a contract in place is well. If you miss more then 1 meeting 10% is automatically deducted. If you fail to complete any tasks at any meeting you lose 25%. Read: Do your work and complete all tasks.

Now this motivates me to work hard. Not that I am not motivated any ways but this motivates me even more. I want a good mark. Seems that not everyone is motivated by that. Not sure if they think that we will just let them coast or what. Let's see... the first meeting this individual was 15 minutes late. Not because they weren't there but they didn't want to eat with us. The second meeting they missed altogether. They claimed that they didn't know the meeting room was changed. They didn't check the group on FaceBook and then said that they didn't use FaceBook. Should have told us that from the start.... and for someone that isn't on FaceBook they seem to be there an awful lot. So at that point we got her phone number but she didn't bother to get ours. Next meeting she had no choice but to be there... we were in lab. And then she missed the next meeting. This time her ride wasn't there. Now at this point I should point out that by her not showing up it puts the group behind. We had to summarize our part of the paper so that we could proofread and make changes. But she sent it right at midnight which was too late to add it to the rest... so we pretty much lost that week for working on it. The next meeting she was 15 minutes late. Not because she wasn't there... We had class from 8-10 that day and the meeting was at 10. She was late because she was eating. So eat at the meeting... or in the hour afterwards. She is also the note taker and didn't feel the need to take notes during the meeting. Got the initial copy of the summary done and it couldn't be sent to this individual because the person who was putting it together didn't have her email. Which she posted on FaceBook and expected them to see it after saying they don't use FaceBook. We get to the meeting and she doesn't have a copy of the summary... and doesn't ask for one. Three of us leave to go talk to the instructor about how technical he wants it and she still doesn't ask for a copy of the summary to review. Contributes nothing to the group discussion at all. So in 5 weeks we have had to assign her with both tasks to do because of her absences in meetings and the only thing she has contributed is to summarize her portion of the paper. I am concerned about how the presentation will go. After all for as much as it is an individual mark a lot of it is still based on how the group does with the individual ratings being the deciding factor. Seriously hope she doesn't think she is going to pass the presentation. Right now I am thinking .2 out of 2. Not to mention the fact she has missed 2 meetings (so 1 past the buffer... miss one more scheduled meeting and we meet with the instructor) and has not completed her task for at least 1 meeting.

I seriously do not understand the motivation of this person. Maybe it is because I surround myself with overachievers... or at least people who want to put the effort in.... It's not like she has even had to do that much work. Show up once a week for the meeting. Take notes during the meeting. She volunteered for that particular responsibility after all. Instead she is sacrificing 15% of her mark.... Now if we were friends before all this then I can understand (somewhat any ways) the thought that we might be a little more lenient. But I don't know her at all so I have no loyalties to consider.... FAIL

Fun With Physics

Before you ask I did not kill someone and this is not real blood. This is from our physics class this week. I must say the one image looks like a smile. It represents the passive dripping of blood while walking/running. The other one is what happens when blood hits on an angle. And that one is now hanging on one of my friend's fridge as artwork. We're odd I know. Not sure if it makes us just geeks or psychopaths.

Out With the Old & In With the New

So as you can tell from the first couple of images here my backpack was in pretty rough shape. It started with the zipper just separating in the corner. Seems I had overloaded the backpack. My big concern was that this is also where the laptop is. Water + MacBook Pro = Sad Me. So I knew that I needed to get a new backpack as soon as possible. Searched and searched and searched some more and went back to the one I originally found. By the time the new one came in the zipper had separated on the other side and then the zipper busted entirely and as you can see it was being held together by safety pins. Then a friend lent me her messenger bag but it was awkward and put a lot of weight on my shoulder. Then the new one came in. It's smaller then the old one. Only drawback there is that I can't bring my camera with me. But it's comfortable and easy to get my laptop out. And it doesn't scream "Steal me" like a lot of other computer bags.

March 2

Not sure if anyone can help me out but here's to hoping. I have a doctor's appointment in Pickering March 2. Only problem is that I no longer have a ride. Figured I would try here. I could pay for a bus ticket and then try to figure out the local transit. But then I would much prefer getting a ride because it takes less time and because I like company. Would rather spend the time with someone I know. I can pay for gas or for a late lunch somewhere on the way back. So let me know if you can help me out with that.

In a Holding Pattern

I had avoided doing all the small updates on the strike. There was the original strike vote where the decision was to strike. I did comment on that one. Then there was negotiating and actual strike date of February 11 was set. But then the school wanted the faculty to vote on it and a date of February 10 was set for that vote. So the strike date was pushed back to February 17. Now as much as I don't want a strike I really did want the time to review physics and not have to write the test. Then there was the vote. Pretty much too close to call.... 51% voted to accept the offer. However, there are still votes to be counted which could still change things... So... tentatively there won't be a strike. But.... it's still possible that the offer will be rejected in which case they will go back to the bargaining table (hopefully) and a new strike date would be set. Here's the real concern about that... if there is going to be a strike it will now be towards the end of the semester. Not exactly the best time.

The whole "will they or won't they" is putting a lot of stress on me and makes it hard to truly focus on the semester. I am finding it hard to care. I am still doing fine but it is harder to stay motivated. Speaking of which I somehow have to motivate myself to do all kinds of work on physics this weekend... and studying for 3 tests (including physics)