Marks Are In

Okay so it's a little late but the marks are back:

DNA II - 84

Chemistry II - 90

Biology II - 98

Technical Communications - 98

Data Management - 99

Physics - 100

Needless to say I am quite proud of those marks. Now let's see if I can keep them up next year.

Bad Time to Be Sick

Bad time of year for me to be sick. Heading into crunch time. I seriously was thinking I was going to make it through the winter unscathed. I guess technically I did since I got sick just after Spring started. I am sure that stress had lowered my immune system. Then we went from being really warm to colder temperatures just as Spring started but I didn't break out the jacket as quickly as I should've. Spent quite a while outside at the zoo while not dressed for the weather. Could've gotten sick at school too. Either way it has hit me pretty hard.

Had to write a biology test on Friday. I cannot seem to stay hydrated no matter how much water I drink. I drank 2.5 bottles before the test and then 1 during the first hour of the test. Got halfway through and instead of focusing on the test I was focused on just how much I had to pee. It was bad. I rushed through the rest of the test and all I wanted to do was get out of there. I am sure that my mark won't be as good as I would like as a result.

Spent most of the weekend in bed or on the futon. The only problem? I had a chemistry test to prepare for as well. And a physics assignment to do. I gave up on one of the questions in chem during the test... just gave up. If I didn't absolutely have to be here for my other 2 classes today I would leave now so that I could take it easy. But I am a trooper and will stick it out. Maybe I will go have a nap between classes.

Under Pressure

As soon as I thought of the title I thought of the song and now it's going through my head. Feeling a lot of pressure and stress at the moment. As far as academics go I am still doing extremely well. I just put a lot of pressure on myself. I am an overachiever. Mind you, I probably should have been studying instead of watching an autopsy video the night before a test. Well if the test was in biology it would have helped.... but it wasn't.

I know that one of the things that is really on my mind is the fact that if I don't have a summer job then it is possible I will be evicted. I know it's not the end of the world.... but it is still weighing on me quite a bit, and keeping me up at night. My EI will run out at the beginning of June and I think I can safely say that my apartment won't allow me to continue living there rent free... or even on the paltry sum that Ontario Works pays. So I am sincerely hoping that I will have a job and will be able to pay bills. I try not to think about it but that is easier said than done.

This time of year always tends to be hard on me.... Painful memories... and things just always seem to happen around now. Forget SAD it's Spring I have trouble with. LOL

Letter from the Dean

No it's not a letter saying I am in trouble. I got a letter for academic achievement. Quite proud of that and wanted to share. Hoping to get another one this semester! :)

Disconnect Between Reciting and Truly Understanding

So the labs for physics have provided some entertainment... like shooting a catapult and the blood spatter analysis. But as far as course content goes I am really struggling with it. Worst part is that there is a pretty good chance that I will come out with a good mark in the course and have learned very little in the process. When the class began there were 110 marks to be given out. Even that didn't seem like it was going to be enough when I started the class. Then there was a bonus assignment so another mark which hopefully has put my assignment mark back to 100%. There was also a bonus quiz. And now there is also a bonus test where you can get up to 5% of your course mark as a bonus. So that brings us up to 116 marks... plus 1 that can only go towards your assignments. Plenty of marks.... Gives me hope. At the same time I would prefer to actually understand the material and know why I am using a particular formula and not using the formula simply because that's what the textbook tells me to do.

Last weekend I literally spent about 5 hours working on one assessment. That assessment was worth 3% of my mark. Personally I thought that was a little too much work. In most of my other classes that would be an hour... maybe 2. And sure I can answer the questions on the assessment when it says refer to section x. Bu then I am pretty much like a trained monkey... and not doing it because I know it's what I need to do to solve. So when it comes to seeing the same question on the test, like I will be doing later this week I am screwed.

So I did what I needed to and got a tutor. Wise idea... had one session. The problem? They ran out of tutors and were turning people away. Now I could have just ignored that and continued to get help. But I felt bad and my altruism kicked in. After all I haven't gotten below a 93% on any of the assignments. Sure it's taking me a LONG time to figure out but I am getting there.... Other people are having a much more difficult time and getting a lower mark. So I figured they needed the tutor more than me and I canceled the tutoring. What irks me about that is that I ran into someone that can tutor the class, has an undergrad degree in physics, is tutoring in other classes, and yet he is not being used as a tutor. So why are people being turned away? And why is it that no one who took the course previously (since the tutor they are using is a prof at Fleming) is volunteering to tutor? I know they are busy... but I can't help but wonder if there is more to it than that.

As I said I might come out with a great mark in the class... but the odds of me becoming a tutor in that class is also extremely low. Why? A tutor has to be able to explain it and not just give the correct formula. They need to know and understand why that is the correct formula. And to be honest I am really just trying to survive the course. I've got 28.7% in that course right now. Now that number doesn't really mean anything except that only 29% has been given out... oh and it look the 1.9 I have in bonus marks has not been added in there either. Point is I am doing really well marks wise but have no real understanding of it. I want to understand the context... how it relates... and where you would use this in the real world. I think that would help me in knowing what formula to use and why. Instead all I have is this vague concept that I don't really understand: like say angular momentum... I would still have to look it up to tell you what formula to use. But I have no idea how I would ever use this. I want to know why.... or how.... And without that knowledge I won't even attempt to tutor someone else in it.

Now this is how the class usually goes... The handout just lists a bunch of sections from the text book. Then he stands at the front and will bring up that section from the text book... play the little interactive clip (our text book is primarily interactive and has web site access or a CD), provides us with the formula and then moves on to the next topic. Nothing ever really gets covered in depth. I feel overloaded with all the formulas. I know that's what physics is but I don't really feel like we actually covered them, aside from a few random demonstrations in class. I think this will be a lot like automation... well I certainly hope I have the same mark I did in automation (100%) but where I don't take away a whole lot from the course. Here's to hoping I can do okay on the test this week though.

Group Work and the Motivation of Others

We have a major group work project in my DNA class. We had to fill out a survey and based on how we filled out the survey is how we were assigned. The instructor based it on how motivated we are to work towards a deadline. So for the most part the high achievers were placed together and the people who ranked themselves in the middle were also placed together. But he couldn't put the people who gave themselves a 0 couldn't be placed together so they were dispersed throughout the other groups. And the other question that seemed to also determine the group division was how scared they were of public speaking. There is no question that I am a high achiever and for the most part I am with other people that are also high achievers.

I should also point out the marking scheme for this. We have to do the presentation to the entire class as a group. The instructor then assigns a mark out of 13. And if you think it;s a group mark you are wrong... The presentation is out of 15. You assign marks to the other members of your group, out of 2 based on how well you work with your group and whether or not you complete your assigned tasks. And then this is where it gets interesting. Let's say you give someone in your group 2 marks then you get whatever marks he gives you plus the 2 marks. If, however, you give them a lower mark, like say 1 then you only get 50% of the mark assigned by the instructor plus the 1 mark given by your group. And this leads to you failing the presentation.

There is a contract in place is well. If you miss more then 1 meeting 10% is automatically deducted. If you fail to complete any tasks at any meeting you lose 25%. Read: Do your work and complete all tasks.

Now this motivates me to work hard. Not that I am not motivated any ways but this motivates me even more. I want a good mark. Seems that not everyone is motivated by that. Not sure if they think that we will just let them coast or what. Let's see... the first meeting this individual was 15 minutes late. Not because they weren't there but they didn't want to eat with us. The second meeting they missed altogether. They claimed that they didn't know the meeting room was changed. They didn't check the group on FaceBook and then said that they didn't use FaceBook. Should have told us that from the start.... and for someone that isn't on FaceBook they seem to be there an awful lot. So at that point we got her phone number but she didn't bother to get ours. Next meeting she had no choice but to be there... we were in lab. And then she missed the next meeting. This time her ride wasn't there. Now at this point I should point out that by her not showing up it puts the group behind. We had to summarize our part of the paper so that we could proofread and make changes. But she sent it right at midnight which was too late to add it to the rest... so we pretty much lost that week for working on it. The next meeting she was 15 minutes late. Not because she wasn't there... We had class from 8-10 that day and the meeting was at 10. She was late because she was eating. So eat at the meeting... or in the hour afterwards. She is also the note taker and didn't feel the need to take notes during the meeting. Got the initial copy of the summary done and it couldn't be sent to this individual because the person who was putting it together didn't have her email. Which she posted on FaceBook and expected them to see it after saying they don't use FaceBook. We get to the meeting and she doesn't have a copy of the summary... and doesn't ask for one. Three of us leave to go talk to the instructor about how technical he wants it and she still doesn't ask for a copy of the summary to review. Contributes nothing to the group discussion at all. So in 5 weeks we have had to assign her with both tasks to do because of her absences in meetings and the only thing she has contributed is to summarize her portion of the paper. I am concerned about how the presentation will go. After all for as much as it is an individual mark a lot of it is still based on how the group does with the individual ratings being the deciding factor. Seriously hope she doesn't think she is going to pass the presentation. Right now I am thinking .2 out of 2. Not to mention the fact she has missed 2 meetings (so 1 past the buffer... miss one more scheduled meeting and we meet with the instructor) and has not completed her task for at least 1 meeting.

I seriously do not understand the motivation of this person. Maybe it is because I surround myself with overachievers... or at least people who want to put the effort in.... It's not like she has even had to do that much work. Show up once a week for the meeting. Take notes during the meeting. She volunteered for that particular responsibility after all. Instead she is sacrificing 15% of her mark.... Now if we were friends before all this then I can understand (somewhat any ways) the thought that we might be a little more lenient. But I don't know her at all so I have no loyalties to consider.... FAIL

Fun With Physics

Before you ask I did not kill someone and this is not real blood. This is from our physics class this week. I must say the one image looks like a smile. It represents the passive dripping of blood while walking/running. The other one is what happens when blood hits on an angle. And that one is now hanging on one of my friend's fridge as artwork. We're odd I know. Not sure if it makes us just geeks or psychopaths.

Out With the Old & In With the New

So as you can tell from the first couple of images here my backpack was in pretty rough shape. It started with the zipper just separating in the corner. Seems I had overloaded the backpack. My big concern was that this is also where the laptop is. Water + MacBook Pro = Sad Me. So I knew that I needed to get a new backpack as soon as possible. Searched and searched and searched some more and went back to the one I originally found. By the time the new one came in the zipper had separated on the other side and then the zipper busted entirely and as you can see it was being held together by safety pins. Then a friend lent me her messenger bag but it was awkward and put a lot of weight on my shoulder. Then the new one came in. It's smaller then the old one. Only drawback there is that I can't bring my camera with me. But it's comfortable and easy to get my laptop out. And it doesn't scream "Steal me" like a lot of other computer bags.

In a Holding Pattern

I had avoided doing all the small updates on the strike. There was the original strike vote where the decision was to strike. I did comment on that one. Then there was negotiating and actual strike date of February 11 was set. But then the school wanted the faculty to vote on it and a date of February 10 was set for that vote. So the strike date was pushed back to February 17. Now as much as I don't want a strike I really did want the time to review physics and not have to write the test. Then there was the vote. Pretty much too close to call.... 51% voted to accept the offer. However, there are still votes to be counted which could still change things... So... tentatively there won't be a strike. But.... it's still possible that the offer will be rejected in which case they will go back to the bargaining table (hopefully) and a new strike date would be set. Here's the real concern about that... if there is going to be a strike it will now be towards the end of the semester. Not exactly the best time.

The whole "will they or won't they" is putting a lot of stress on me and makes it hard to truly focus on the semester. I am finding it hard to care. I am still doing fine but it is harder to stay motivated. Speaking of which I somehow have to motivate myself to do all kinds of work on physics this weekend... and studying for 3 tests (including physics)

The Vote Is In

So it is now official... the teachers voted today on whether or not to strike. The unofficial vote count is that just under 75% actually voted and 57% voted in favour of a strike while 43% voted against it. Those results can be found here. OPSEU has also released a statement here that does not list the actual numbers but they did vote yes to the strike. It should also be noted that the earliest they would strike is mid-February. On one hand that gives them more time to reach an agreement which is good. On the other hand, the later you get into the semester the more it impacts the students which really is what they are going for... maximum impact. More marks are due later in the semester and you start having finals... grades not going in... courses not being completed... people not being able to graduate. Not a good scene. Hopefully it does not go to a strike and they can reach an agreement.

Some People Need to Grow Up

There is a story here that I should probably explain. At the beginning of the semester I was trying to be nice to this individual, who I will simply call C. If people from school are reading this they already know the story and who I am referring to. But a few weeks in they did something stupid in lab and I had to report it... not because I wanted to get them in trouble but because we couldn't continue on using the equipment as a result of their mistake. Any ways this person got in my face and started screaming at me, calling me a rat among other things and said they better not lose marks. Let's just say it was loud enough that other people turned around to watch the floor show. Call me crazy but that was the point where I wanted nothing to do with her. Not long after that she was insulting my friends and went as far as calling us all "bitches who think we're better then her." So clearly she doesn't think too highly of me.... and at this point the feeling is mutual. So I was surprised when she asked me to help with her computer... and in sending a picture for the lab report. And kind of annoyed since she had gotten in my face and screamed at me.... and called me a bitch and then wanted help. So no I didn't have anything nice to say. The icing on the cake might have been with the presentations... We had to present to certain faculty members what we did in lab. First of all I should say that she isn't even the one that told me so if she wants to start blaming me for the gossip I didn't start it. And I certainly wasn't the only one telling the story. Any ways... she was so busy looking at her paper that they hid on her. it's mean but it's also kind of funny. I mean how do you not notice someone getting up and leaving? I know there is two sides to every story and according to her I'm the two faced bitch. But I never started this so I honestly don't know where she gets that from. I might have agreed when other people said that she was immature but I didn't go out of my way to be malicious. Now after she called me a bitch then it was no holds barred.

Then came these posts... and clearly she is still continuing on with the hate. Spreading lies about me and trying to get other people to stay away. Which didn't work I might add. Not that it really would have mattered to me. I am largely a loner any ways and am okay with that fact. I am perfectly content to just spend time with Azrael. I get it you hate me. You really don't need to keep announcing that fact. This isn't high school. Grow up and move on....

The reality is that she is actually lucky that I haven't filed a complaint. While she may not actually name me it is clear from the messages that it is about a student. And I have had it confirmed by someone that she wrote to that it is about me. "Just be glad you're not in this class right now. You will get it soon." "I can wait until Monday." Call it intimidation.... or actual threats but regardless it is against the student code of conduct. Not to mention the fact the initial messages were written while on school property.

I probably wouldn't have even said anything since I thought we were going to have very few classes together next semester. Now it looks like she will be in a majority of my classes. I sincerely hope that she can just keep the peace and not cause a lot of drama.

Up First the Socialist Rant

School is now done for the semester and I am on vacation. I don't have all the marks back yet so will update once I have them. The talk of a potential strike, which I will get to in another post, has me thinking about education and the cost of a post secondary education. I believe that education should be free, or at least affordable to all. The only reason I am back in school is that I was laid off at the right time and the government is paying my tuition.

This thought continues on to other areas as well... I have also been giving some thought to the fact that basic housing should be provided, or rent should at least be geared towards income. Subsidized housing here takes 10+ years to actually get and my name has already been removed from the list as I failed to update them with my information and hopefully by the time that 10 years rolls around I will have moved elsewhere. Right now on EI I get $988 a month. I spend 78% of that income just on housing (if you factor in my notetaking which only helps when I am actually in school I spend 62% of my income on housing). According to CNN financial experts recommend not spending more then 36% of their income on housing. That is a pipe dream for me at the moment. I would love to only be spending $355 on rent... Might have saved me from filing for bankruptcy. Unfortunately, the sky is the limit for rent... and there is nothing to stop it from going up. In fact pretty soon I will be getting a notice in the mail about what my rent will be going up to. It's actually making me reconsider my living options. I really don't want to go back to having a roommate but it is something I am seriously considering, just for the cost saving.

I could even extend the socialist thought to include food. I don't mean that steak dinners and what not should be covered but perhaps the basics should be. Again, perhaps a portion of your income could be taken to cover it and then distributed as something like food stamps to be used for specific products, or at least on a range of products. Perhaps waive these charges if someone is unemployed (either on EI or social assistance). During the summer when I had no extra income I had to get assistance from other people in order to buy groceries. It was a sad state.

I know that the costs would be enormous and that it would never happen but as someone that has been living under the poverty line and struggling just to pay for basic needs to me it would be an improvement. And ultimately it would hopefully reduce at least some of the disparity between the rich (or at least the middle class) and the impoverished.

The Update on Classes

Last post today... and knowing my track record it will probably be 6 months before I post again. LOL But now that the semester is half over I figure it's about time for the rundown on how classes are going. Saves me from emailing people.

Computers

I seriously hate this class. It's easy but painful. They expect you to do 4 hours of work in your own time. It doesn't take me anywhere near that long probably because I have yet to do any of the "independent learning" modules. I read them... isn't that enough? What bugs me most is that I spent almost $200 for a certification I don't even want. I mean seriously... has anyone ever even heard of the "computer driving license?" I haven't and I did tech support for 4 years. You get trained on the basics of Windows XP (Umm... do they release that as of recently 2 operating systems have come out since then?) and Office 2007. Again a new release is coming out shortly. Just seems redundant... and useless... and like I said I am kind of bitter that I have to have the certification to pass the course. I got 90% on my first test but I still have to do 3 tests for Office and 1 for XP. Should do well in that class.

Automation

The course is on the use of robotics in a DNA lab. The only problem is that the prof is all over the map. No idea what he is talking about. For this class I don't really look at my average (which I got 75% on the midterm) but how many marks I have lost so far (4.5) since there are actually more then 100 marks in the class. I don't think I will have 100 when I get out of the class although it would be nice. Since I really haven't lost that many it is still possible... and I still expect to do well in the class.

Math

Been over a decade since I took a math class and when I was in university I don't think I really attended class or learned anything. It was really only the algebra that had me going, "WTF?" but once I figured that out life was golden. What was funny is that I had asked someone to help me with it and instead of helping they went ahead and did it. Now that wouldn't be funny except that it took them forever (okay so that might be a slight exaggeration... but it took like 3 days to do 10 questions) and we did not get the same answers. I got the right answers... Him... not so much. So moral of the story: Do your own homework. Other then the algebra it's been pretty easy. And I got 99% on the midterm. Some stupid mistake I am sure tripped me up. But I can't complain about that mark!!!

Law

Law is an easy class... for me at least. Got 90% on the first test and have gotten perfect on all the homework assignments (3% per class... pretty much just for doing it and what she called bum in chair). I know a couple of people that have 100% in the class so I am not doing quite as well as them. Maybe next time I will take more then 11 minutes to complete the test... since that is where I lost the marks. Still can't complain when the marks are over 90% for the course.

Chemistry

This was the class that undoubtedly scared me the most going back to school. The last time I took anything that involved chemistry was grade 10 science and that was 15 years ago. I dropped chem at Trent because I felt it was over my head. So far I've gotten perfect on all my labs and got 82.5% on my test. Not too shabby for a course that I was shaky on going into it. One of the challenges as a notetaker is that sometimes it becomes more of a stream of consciousness then actually being able to process what is being said. For instance we were naming compounds and discussing molecular formula and I was so busy with subscripts and superscripts that I had no idea how you figure out what it is. So this week while I was off I really took the time to go through it... and the light bulb went off. Nice when that happens. Still wondering if I should have a chem tutor because I struggle with the polyatomic acid and knowing what the hell the formula for something like sulfuric acid is (had to Google that one).

Biology

This just might be my weakest subject which seems kind of all considering I have absolutely no background in chemistry, haven't taken math in a decade and completed half a biology degree. According to Ashvin, DNA should be the hardest course... Nope... Biology seems to be. And I am not alone in that. One of the girls has a 98% average in DNA and has a biology degree already and on the last 2 labs got like 70% and 75% (maybe 80%). Still beat my 60% and 75% but still seems really low. Of course we do the labs as groups and then the instructor accused the entire class of plagiarism. Are you kidding me? If it were a couple of people then you have a case... but the entire class? Oh sorry she actually accused both her labs (so about 50 students) of plagiarism and went through the whole academic speech of how if it happens again you get a 0% and then a 0% in the course and then booted from the school. I am still angry about the whole thing... I mean clearly if it is the entire class then something else is going on... I don't like being threatened, especially when that threat involves expulsion. I also think she is a hard marker but I really don't know since we do the lab as a group and only one person's is marked, with the exception of one question where we are marked individually. But by the time we get them back it's a few weeks later and we're focused on getting the current lab done (and usually running out of time) so I never end up seeing it. Plus as soon as we get them back it's a bitch fest about the instructor and her marking. What makes it worse is that she could be my lab instructor for Biology 2 (I am seriously rethinking my course exemption for that) and for both microbiology and toxicology.

DNA

Last but not least is DNA. This is probably my favourite class. It is taught by the course coordinator and he is tough but fair. I find it interesting... which is good since it is kind of the main focus of the program. LOL When it came time for the first test in that class I had a doctor's appointment in Pickering and had to rush back for it. Just got back in time. Still got a 90% on the test. And they were stupid mistakes that tripped me up. Last check I had a 93% average in the class... definitely in the top 10 there. :) I would've said top 5 but I don't know how many people were over 90% from the third section... but top 10 is a safe bet. Now since then I got a 75% on a lab (good thing it's only worth about 2%) and then got perfect on the library assignment that is worth 5%. So I am assuming that it's still about the same.

Obviously I can't complain about my marks... C'mon dean's list.... Definitely hoping the rest of the semester goes as well as the first!

Happy, Healthy & Doing Well

The semester is now half over and I am just finishing up reading break #1. In another 7 weeks it will be time for Christmas break. Wow how time is flying. Knock on wood but I am one of few people in my classes not to have been sick so far. Considering how poor my immune system has been in the past that is a bit of a surprise. But so far it's doing an excellent job.

I know that your emotional well being is tied into your physical well being. When you are stressed out... depressed... etc. it lowers your immune system and causes you to get sick faster. Working in a call center was a combination of emotional negativity which lowered your immune system and it was just a breeding ground for viruses... everyone sharing the same computers, the cleaning crews were lax to say the least and people were coming to work that shouldn't be because they couldn't afford the time off. a recipe for disaster. I hate to see what will happen if people who have H1N1 are going into work.... Company wide shutdown perhaps?

So on an emotional level I am much, much happier... which in turn is keeping up the immune system. I've also gained a little weight... still not up to where I want to be but I am getting there. I am sure that also helps. Plus I am now on the right medication combo. I am on Nasonex for the allergies and more importantly Trazodone for the Fibromyalgia. The pain is still there some days... but it's much better. I can sleep through the night and not feel totally groggy like other medications.

Life is good.... Loving every minute of it. Hope it continues on. :)

Potluck

This picture was just one of many taken last week at the potluck held at my place. We were all in the BTF (or Biotechnology-technologist forensics) program at Fleming. We really have a close knit group... well my section (there are 3 sections) any ways. Thought it would be fun to get together... have some fun... food... and drinks. Oh yeah and the Wii. Can't forget the Wii. Lea playing Kawasaki Jet Ski... was an epic fail moment... But she did much better with Mario Karts. And Greg was just a superstar. I am sure he likes the ratio... out of the 15 people that were here (good thing I have a spacious apartment) only 2 were male and 1 of them was married. But they were also the first to leave. Place was cleared out by around 1. I think Az had a lot to do with that. They called him the demon cat. He was seriously not happy to have that many people here. He curled up on my lap but not because he was content. It was like it was the only place he felt safe. As a result a few people left with scars. I had warned them ahead of time... As soon as there were only a few people left he calmed right down and put on a show. Started playing fetch with his bear and humping it even. The other reason I am sure it cleared out is that it was a Monday night and we did have class the next day... granted not until 3 which is why we decided to hold it when we did. And there was only one person that was really intoxicated and no it wasn't me. Mind you I will say that the sugar content in 2 pitchers of strawberry daiquiris did give me a headache. Drank a full litre of water before bed to stave off any sort of hangover and was good to go. It was a good night and nothing got damaged or destroyed. We used disposable plates and cutlery for the potluck so clean-up was a breeze. Thinking we'll have to do it again.

Best Job in the World

Not only am I back to school but I also have a job. It, I think, is the best job in the world. I am a note taker. Now I was already going to these classes and taking notes any ways. Now I just get paid for it. Great incentive to make it to class. the only difference is that now I bring the MacBook Pro to class since I can't even read my own writing so how can I expect anyone else to be able to. And then those notes go to people that have some sort of disability that prevents them from being able to take notes. So it's a job I also feel good about.

Goes back to what I said in my last post about how I would be a career student. If I actually could do it I would probably make a career out of being a note taker. I wonder if there is such a thing. LOL Getting paid to attend class... taking notes.... always be learning. How cool would that be? And the income helps too... even if it is only for 10 hours a week (less if I have tests obviously and no money for reading week).

I'm Back....

I had to laugh when Suzanne was commenting on not posting... It's been almost 4 since I last wrote. But for the most part over the summer it would have been [Insert negative comment here]. Spent the summer unemployed and struggling to get by. I still have no idea how I made it through. And towards the end of the summer I was really stressed not knowing if I was going to be going back to school or if I should be focusing all my time and energy on a full time job, which is really hard to come by when you are in the middle of a recession and were laid off at the same time as about 200 other people.

I am back in school now. Never thought I would be saying those words! But I LOVE it. I really do think that if I could be I'd be a career student. I just love learning new things and being in class.

Since people always want to know what you are taking... I am enrolled in the Biotechnology Technologist - Forensics (or BTF) program at Fleming. It is a tough course, no question. I spend 6 hours a week in the lab for life sciences (so for DNA, chemistry and biology) and another 2 in lab for automation. In total I am in class (or labs) for 21 hours a week which is a far cry from the 15 (max) that I was in class a week in university. There are a lot of differences between when I was in university and now although some of those changes are just because of the advent of technology. For instance I get a lot of my lecture notes printed off for me or available online to be printed. I don't have to kill my wrist writing out all these notes. I still take notes, just not as many. I also find the teachers to be more open and available and willing to just talk about anything. I mean I have the course coordinator on my Facebook friends list and there is a group set up specifically for BTF students. My chemistry teacher is on my BlackBerry messenger. It definitely is more hands on and using different equipment then say when I started my biology degree. I took a course on genetics and the labs were shorter and not as in depth. In the year and a half I was at Trent I don't think I ever even saw a pipette and in my DNA class we've used it for 2 different labs already. And then there are assignments... If it is due at 8:00 and you hand it in at 8:01 it's late and a 0. Definitely learning not to procrastinate unlike university where my papers were on average 3 days late in my first year. So far so good.

Obviously it's a biotechnology course so the possibilities afterwards are wide open. I can go do water testing (or really anywhere that does testing.... like for e. coli), research in genetics, a wide assortment of lab positions really. But you might have also noticed that the program title included the word forensics. So yes there is also a focus on forensics. The first lecture in my DNA class was on the CSI effect and what they are doing wrong. Makes for good television but really isn't that accurate. Sorry to burst people's bubbles. Next year we even get to put on the bunny suits and really do evidence gathering. The program also has a focus on automation. So we get to learn about robotics and how to use them to make our lives easier.

Just wrote 3 tests this week, have 2 next week, and 2 the following week and then a week off. When these marks start coming in that's when I will really be able to see how I am doing. Well the law test was open book and I already know I got 90%. DNA I thought went well but could be wrong. And chem we were allowed a cheat sheet which meant I didn't study as much as I probably should have. There were a few multiple choice questions that I wasn't as sure about as I would have been. Live and learn. Have to see how it goes.

Onward and Upward

I actually thought that I had posted about this already, when mentioning the layoff but I guess not. First of all I still want to say that I am still kind of shocked about how quickly it all happened. I looked back at my pay stubs and up until mid February I was working 55 hours a week (which will come in handy for the EI claim!!!). 3.5 months later look at where we are. So in February we went back to the normal 40 hour work week. Well most people were always on that... but the OT got taken away from those of us that wanted it. At least all my orders from Columbia House were paid for first. Then in May we saw our hours reduced to 30 and the layoffs started.. Fortunately I had vacation hours to use so I never saw my pay cheques reduced. Then a month later we are locked out and told there is no more work. That is a great deal of change in a short period of time. From all the hours you could possibly want to losing the contract in just 3.5 months....

With the reduced hours I was already starting to look to the future. In a couple of weeks I was going to run out of vacation hours to use to boost my pay cheques. So ultimately the layoff came at the best time. I will still be making less but at least all the OT will count towards my EI payments.... whereas if I ran out of vacation hours.... and the longer we had stayed employed... the lower my payments would be. With the reduced hours and the fact I really don't want to be evicted one of the things I was looking at is debt reduction. I was already in the process of setting the wheels in motion on this one when the layoff happened. I have a meeting with a bankruptcy trustee this week to review all my options and decide what is best based on the current situation as well as the future outlook. I was hoping to deal with this before a crisis occurred. I thought I had a couple more weeks. I was wrong. But any ways.... At least I am dealing with it and not pretending there isn't a problem.

More importantly I was looking at what I can do to get out of the call center industry once and for all. I had discovered Second Career. When I was first looking into it I was concerned that I wouldn't qualify since Minacs had officially put it through as a dismissal. Yes I fought them and won and got my termination pay but I still had my reservations that my application would be denied and I would have gotten my hopes up for nothing. But now I have been laid off again so this time I really should qualify. So I had been poring over the programs offered as part of Second Career at Fleming. One thing that I will say is that it is too bad they don't take into consideration previous education experience... For instance as part of this I could get a social work diploma. However, in the same amount of time I could get a BSW because of the schooling I already have. But it wouldn't be funded.

I must admit though that I am looking for a change of pace and am not going for anything in the social sciences.... So no social work... no drug and alcohol counselor. Now some of the courses that I thought were interesting (like the ecosystems management) are offered in Lindsay so they are automatically out. Not entirely a bad thing since it made my decision easier. Just before the layoff I was down to 2 choices: Biotechnology technologist and paralegal. I was also looking at the Health Information Management but it just wasn't something I could get excited about. It was all about the money. And as a result I just couldn't do it.

Today I was reading the book "Do What You Are" and based on my personality type neither of those career choices are listed. But then when I did look at the list most of the career choices involved dealing with people... something that right now I want to get away from. I don't want to be a coach... counselor... customer service rep... I am pretty burned out.... I actually want a job that I can leave at work and not bring home with me. Now since I didn't find the answer I was looking for there (since my heart sinks thinking about going back to school for another humaities course) I turned to the internet. There were a couple of schools that seemed to think that biology was a good career choice for an INFP. As for the paralegal I repeatedly found people saying that anything in the law field just wasn't for them. And the more I think about my personality type the more I think they are right. I would always be looking for more information to strengthen my case... never thinking I had enough. And it would require me to be quite extraverted... something I am not. So while paralegal might have been the easier choice I am going with the biotechnology.

Haven't even applied yet (although I have contacted the Second Career liason at Fleming, and the local assessment center) and I am already nervous about it. It is the same way I felt when I started at Trent. I felt like a fish out of water. Biology doesn't come easy to me. Or more like it had been a long time since I studied it in school. I think it will be a challenge but I do think that I can handle it. It's the chemistry I am most worried out. Well that and genetics since it was the one course I failed at Trent. Now in my defense I failed it because I had the flu, dropped to 70 pounds, and stopped attending classes or doing any work. Although if someone wants to buy me this book I will gladly accept it. They really should make more graphic novels to help you understand different things. That is a fantastic idea. Hmm... maybe it is too bad that I didn't finish my degree in biology. That might have been a good career option.

So getting laid off wasn't the worst thing that could have happened. I have applied for EI already and am just waiting for my ROE to arrive so I can take it in. I have contacted the powers that be about funding to return to school and am just waiting to hear back. Hopefully in September I will be enrolled at Fleming and without the loans that normally go with being a student. So things are looking up. Just have to deal with the financial side of things along the way.

Purple & Proud

I was reading the August edition of Scientific American Mind today. There were some interesting articles in it. For anyone involved in leadership I recommend that they check out this article on leadership. Another interesting article was on the rate of dropouts in post-secondary education in the US. Graduation rates are about 40% for public institutions and 57% for private institutions. Having said that 60% of the jobs in the US requires post secondary education. So the question is.... why do so many people drop out?

According to the article, "Whether a person stays in college can depend on how well she [he] socially integrates into the college community... Students who socially assimilate are generally those whose values, cultural background and academic interests match those of the college they have chosen."

I still remember the first time I laid eyes on the campus for the University of Western Ontario. I immediately felt at home. I was still in high school at the time and was visiting my sister. Even just looking at the architecture and landscaping made me want to go there. And so I did. I went to Huron University College, a smaller college within the university. The smaller colleges allow for smaller classes, more interaction with the professors, but still being able to take classes and interact with a large school. I identified greatly with the school and the beliefs found at the school. I wore the school colours with pride. I still wear the school colours with pride. It wasn't all that long ago I found myself purchasing clothing for Huron University College since it was the first time I had seen them available, even though I graduated 5 years ago. I still long for the leather jacket with a Mustang on it. Each fall I feel a twinge of nostalgia and think of homecoming. The thought of dropping out never even crossed my mind.... probably because I had such a strong identification with my alma matter.

Contrast that to my time at Trent. Unlike my time at Huron I hated it there. I did not feel like I fit in with the community. I wasn't enough of a tree-hugger. I also wasn't a stoner. For whatever reason, I always felt like I was on the outside. Being a smaller school then UWO I also didn't feel like there were as many choices in classes. At Western I got spoiled with my classes on young offenders, thanatology and especially the ones on media studies. With the disconnection it was a struggle to go to class and be motivated there. I was also working full time. When I got sick it made for a great excuse to drop out of school and leave the degree unfinished.

You can also contrast transportation. In London the buses typically run every 15 minutes, except on a few routes. It is pretty easy to get around. For the first 3 years I was able to walk to and from campus if I did not want to wait for the bus. There were buses between the colleges and extra buses on certain routes to ease the congestion. Transportation was great! In Peterborough it's a nightmare. It runs every 30 minutes and is rarely on time. The university is on the ouskirts of town so if you're relying on public transportation you are hoping to be there on time. It's a gamble. And since it's so far away you have to leave long before the classes start.

Even the cities are different and have a different atmosphere. London, ON is a big city but it still feels like a small town. It is the forest city. In spite of it being a big city I always felt safe walking home. Here in Peterborough I can't say the same thing. It's a small town but in spite of that fact I was always reluctant when walking home from work at night.

Community... Integration... Acceptance... Branding.. Even the school you go to is a brand. Either you buy into it and will graduate or you don't and are more likely to drop out and pursue life elsewhere. Reasons why it is so important to check out the college before you attend to get a sense of life there. As for me, "Go 'Stangs go!"

Fingers Crossed About EI

I applied for Employment Insurance (EI). Now officially since I was fired they say you don't qualify but they do make exceptions. I can't count how many people I know that have been fired and still received EI. The apology I received from the parent company has to count for something, right? It's still a waiting game but I am hoping that they give it to me. Not only would it mean I would suddenly have about $1200 but it would mean a steady income until I find work. Now 55% of my previous wages is not great but it is still better then 0%.

There is another reason that I am hoping to qualify for EI. They pay for retraining and courses. Originally I was thinking about taking a computer securities course at Fleming. But 3 years for a diploma really didn't seem all that appealing. I can get another degree in 2 because I can fast-track a lot of the electives. That got me looking elsewhere and thinking about other degrees. I have always been interested in the media studies program at Western but figured I should actually go with something that will pay the bills in the end and isn't just something that while I have an interest in... may never make money with. After all to date that has been what my current degree has done for me. But while I was at Western's web site I somehow found my way to the graduate studies courses. And while there I came across the Master of Education (Counselling Psychology). My GPA is there but I don't have the experience or volunteer work that they are looking for. It was my starting point... but since it would take a year before I could even apply I had to look elsewhere. And that was when I found it... I came across Yorkville University in New Brunswick. They offer a Master of Arts (Counselling Psychology). Even better... it is all online. That's right... the courses are offered online. You focus on one course at a time and the entire program takes 20 months to complete, including a practicum. Now I can already hear the skepticism. They take your money and you get a worthless degree... It is a recognized university by the Government in New Brunswick. AND you can get OSAP to attend. Well you could if I didn't have so many issues with my student loan. Now I do need 2 references which might be tricky since I was fired from my last job. But I will worry about that later.

Step 1... Get approved for EI. Step 2... Apply for funding for retraining and then Step 3... See what happens. Now I would expect that I would have to at least partially pay for the education but since it is online you can work while going to school. And I do have my RRSPs. Ideally I would not have to touch them but all things considered it would be a worthwhile investment in my own future. For now I have my fingers crossed that I can make it past Step 1.