It's not just actors that put on masks and try to conceal their true identity. Everyone wears masks at different times. We do it to avoid being hurt... or to be what other people expect us to be. It's human nature. It's also about psychology and the need to protect ourselves.
Growing up I was wearing so many masks that I actually forgot what was behind the mask. My main identity was that of a ghost. I wanted to blend into the background and not be noticed. Just ask the people who knew me in high school. Chances are they remember very little about me. It was a conscious effort to fit in and not be noticed. But it was an assumed identity. It's not who I am naturally. Ask anyone that has known me for any length of time. I talk... a lot... and I don't do a good job of blending into the background.
There were other masks... all designed for self preservation. Over time I have stopped hiding so much and am getting better at being true. There is a dichotomy though. Part of me wants to just blend into the background at work. Part of me is still scared of standing out. I feel like if I did then I would be exposed as a fraud. That people would think I didn't know what I was doing and didn't deserve the position. Deep down I know that's not true... That I know my shit and am in the position for a reason. But it's hard for me to see it and believe it. Since I said it was a dichotomy part of me does want the recognition and wants to stand out. After all if you want to advance people have to take notice. It takes ambition, hard work, and getting noticed. But which mask do I need to wear to get to where I want to be?
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