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Rough Morning

I woke up this morning at 11:00. That's not what made the day rough though *lol* I am not sure what woke me up. I am thinking it might have been an alarm but I am not really sure. Either I startled Azrael or whatever woke me up did. Problem is that when he got startled he jumped.... and extended claws. Can you see where this is going? Next thing I know I have puncture marks in my hand.... Oh and one paw landed on my face... right near my eye. Fortunately, he missed my eye but as you can see from the pictures it was not a pleasant experience. Hurt like a mofo actually. I kind of crawled out of bed still half asleep to see how bad it was bleeding... and then it was just this blinding pain. At least I was able to go back to sleep for a couple of course. The pain has now pretty much subsided but I am sure it's going to look nice when I go back to work on Saturday. I can't get mad at Azrael since he didn't set out to attack me.... It just happened.

Memberships That Get You in Trouble

So I joined up for Columbia House a little while ago. Cost me $2.77 for 5 Blu-rays. Now that is a good deal. Granted so far I have only got one of 5. Seems the rest were out of stock. So now I have chosen others and am waiting to see if they are in stock. If they are I will make a nice little profit. Their enrollment selections are not so good.... so I wil just sell them to the pawn shop and make about $20-$30. Right now if you order 1 at regular price the rest are 60% off. So my first order was (all on Blu-ray): Dark Knight, Wanted, Jarhead, the Kingdom and Miami Vice. Grand total for that order $83 and change. Second order was for the Unit Season 1 (on DVD), Dogma, Pride and Glory, Domino, Eagle Eye and Sum of all Fears. Total this time was $104. This time I also got a free overnight bag. Thank goodness for holiday pay and my tenure bonus. It's allowing me to capitalize on some good deals here. Oh yeah and selling off some DVDs that I wasn't watching. But at least it is a membership that I will make use of... unlike say a gym membership.

Winter in the Ghetto

I came home from work today and it was about 65 degrees in my apartment and the windows were all iced over on the inside. :( I have asked repeatedly to have the heat fixed and they have done nothing. Oh sorry they have replaced the thermostat. Now I will say that it is currently nice and toasty warm in my living room at least. I have a wonderful space heater that is really pumping out the heat at the moment. Too bad I can't really leave it on indefinitely. Something about being a fire hazard and all. But it's nice for now.... and has melted all the ice from the window... not sure about the bedroom. I don't think I will be as lucky there... too much space for one little heater to work it's magic. But I do have 2 blankets and my duvet already.... and can grab more blankets if I really need them. Ahhh warmth.... here in the ghetto

Back to the Grind Stone

Obviously I am now back to work. Just before my vacation they made me quite angry. I think that my vacation came at the best time. See they picked their floor support and passed me over. I know I am good enough. Confidence is not an issue with me. *lol* Put it this way they want your talk time to be 15 minutes and after taking calls for 3 weeks mine is at about 11 minutes.... and 2 minutes of that is me finishing my notes after the call. But, what I am not good enough? Yes I am still bitter... and I don't see that changing any time soon. In fact I see it being the straw that broke the camel's back. I can see it being the reason that I end up leaving.

I have been having computer issues since I came back from vacation. Just having trouble logging into one application. Depending on who you ask they either say to just keep trying or to move after 5 attempts. Now there was one day where I just could not log in. They even had me trying computers that other people had already tried (people who are having the same issue). I kid you not when I say that I spent 2.5 hours that day just trying to login on something like 6 different computers. Personally I think that time could've been better spent roaming (answering questions) or listening to someone take calls and helping them out.... rather then me just sitting there pretty much with my thumb up my ass. But hey they are paying me for it... so whatever.

Today 12 people called in sick.... It was -25 with the windchill but I still hauled my ass in. I kept wondering if I was going to get frost bite or something. But any ways we were really short staffed. And I managed to get a lot more escalated calls... I am sure there is a correlation there. I also stayed late to help out. Well technically I was already late leaving but I stayed to take another call since there were only 3 people left taking calls at the time. Figured it was the least I could do... take one more call. It's who I am... and with a talk time like I have I don't figure it's going to be a LONG time. I could be wrong and certainly have had some long calls but I was playing the odds. And I was right... About 10 minutes later I was done and on my way home... with no calls waiting. Well no calls here.... There are other call centers and they would have been taking the calls at that point.

Vacations Are Just Not Long Enough

Don't really have much to report as far as the vacation goes.... It was largely just R&R. Got caught up on my sleep.... Didn't really have any obligations or appointments. Azrael got plenty of attention. I also watched plenty of TV. It was a great vacation... but it was over way too quickly.

On Turning the Big 30

I just realized how long it's been since I last updated my blog. My bad. So I was at work on the 19th... no big deal... then came home and heated up my lasagna for dinner. Went to heat up a second piece and the microwave was dead. Not what I wanted. How to start my birthday off with a bang. I am still blown away by the fact Dawn showed up with a microwave for me. She traded in my original present for this... since a microwave is pretty much a necessity for me. First up on my actual plans for the day was the chiropractor. I wanted to at least feel good for the day. It also gave me a chance to see mom. From there we went out to dinner. Mmm chicken and ribs. Can't forget the daiquiri either. And then I went to see Quantum of Solace with Dawn to round out the evening. It was a great day... and was relaxing.

Now I was supposed to go out on the weekend as well to finish off the celebrations but it just wasn't meant to be. Seems like everyone, but me, was sick that weekend. So those plans are still in pending status. Making it up is going to be a challenge since everyone's schedules vary wildly. Since it's now December and the holiday season I have a feeling it is going to be January before that happens. But I am now 30... and aging gracefully I might add. Helps that I am still carded virtually everywhere I go. *lol*

Evicting the Tenants from the Roach Motel

A while back I realized that I had some visitors at home.... in the form of cockroaches. I think I avoided blogging about it because I didn't want to admit there was a problem and I didn't want people to tell me I was going to need to call the professionals and then be finding somewhere for me and Azrael (who is currently stoned and passed out on the floor I might add... the wonders of catnip) to stay for a few days.

So SS came over and we moved everything out of the kitchen and let loose with the Raid. Sounded like a fantastic idea at the time. There was a problem with that thought though. All it takes is one to be left alive and with eggs and you're screwed. And those things are resilient. So part of the problem is that we moved everything out and there were roaches living in some of those boxes so we just put them back. As I discovered later they were also in the microwave. In the end we just reduced the number but didn't eliminate the problem.

After spending money and time recaulking as many cracks as we could find and can after can of Raid I was basically just cohabitating with the damn things. And I'm going out on a limb and saying that inhaling all those chemicals is not good for me or for Azrael. I will also say that the selection of pest control products in this town is horrible.... Online I found all kinds of other solutions but nothing locally.

Eventually you just get to a point where it's time to deal with it... It's simliar to when I had the ingrown toe nail and one morning I woke up and knew that it was time to go to the hospital and have them deal with it. I just knew it was time and if it meant leaving for a few days so be it. Now I should point out right about now that a few months ag (that's how long I had been dealing with it) the maintenance guy saw the traps and asked if I wanted them to deal with it. I said no and specifically said that it was because I didn't want to be staying elsewhere for a couple of days. Skip ahead and I just want them gone.... whatever it takes. So I call Orkin and come to find out that they don't spray and I wouldn't need to leave my home at all. Could I not have been told that a few months ago? So as soon as I found that out I told them to come in as soon as possible. In case anyone is wondering they use a gel treatment. It takes about a week for it to be working and I can definitely see the effect it is having. I love the thought at evicting those little bastards from the apartment. Well I suppose I am not really evicting them since they're dead but any ways. I want it to be me and Azrael.... not me, Azrael, and a host of other critters.

Sunshine in the Clouds

Thursday was another rough day. The calls were long and frustrating. It seemed like I needed help on every call. As I realized later I was putting unreasonable expectations on myself. Yes I have done tech support before. That doesn't mean that I can just walk into the job and be a superstar. Yet subconsciously that was what I was expecting. And so when the call took longer then I felt it should, or I couldn't figure it out I would get really frustrated. Yet really it was still just day #4. I should actually feel really good about where I am at... and not discouraged that I still need help.

It has just been an emotional week.... Thursday I also made the mistake of calling mom while on break. Now I had figured it would be an easy call. I just wanted a ride to the chiropractor on Thursday. I really didn't want to walk the 4km to the chiropractor and home. I thought she would agree being my birthday and all. Didn't quite go as planned. First she got mad at me because if my vacation was pushed back then I would be missing work on Thursday. I can't help it that I had made prior plans for my birthday on the assumption that I was going to be off. Now my night plans I could reschedule but I am not about to reschedule my chiropractor appointment when she only works i the afternoon twice a week and it has been about 6 weeks since my last appointment. Secondly, what is the point in arguing? As it stood at that point in time I was not working any ways. But then she started asking if I walk to work.... and implying that I could just walk. Don't manipulate.... Just say no. Lie and say you have plans. Tell me you would rather not. Whatever. So I ended up saying I would just walk and she started backpedaling. Now I had just wasted my break on this and just hung up. She called back but I was back on the phones already... not that I would've answered any ways.

It was a rough day. And in the end I went home and ended up in tears. Well I ended up in tears twice in one night... but only once for the frustration that the day itself held. I have been feeling completely overwhelmed. Then I listened to mom's message and it was what I was hoping for from the start... She was agreeing to give me a ride to the chiropractor and had suggested a birthday dinner as well. Could she not have just said that from the beginning?

Then I made the mistake of checking my bank account. Even after getting my bonus there isn't enough money. There is never enough money. I am sick and tired of being poor. That probably wouldn't have been enough to push me over the edge... but the combination of the day I was having and the fact I have my birthday celebration coming up brought on the tears. I've got plans next Saturday for my birthday and I am not even sure how I am going to pay for them. Stresses me out just thinking about it.

And so far everything I have said has been negative.... so the clouds... or rain.... But Friday I did get some sunshine in there. As soon as I got to work I was on the hunt for the manager. it was do or die time. I needed an answer. And Paul didn't know. Hadn't even been to his office yet. So off to the office we go. Still no word.... So he contacted someone and didn't get an answer immediately so he contacted their boss. Took about a half hour but I got an answer... And they see it as a benefit of the company and seem to think I am doing something for them. Makes me look good. So in the end my request was granted. Instead of being on vacation now my vacation will be the following week. So I get to make the most out of training, use the resources that are available, get the weekends off and have time after my birthday bash to recover... like a full week. Some good news.

Finally got some sleep too which was really needed. Slept for 9 hours last night. Most of the week I would sleep for a few hours and then wake up. Never really felt rested. Which made the week a lot tougher and a lot more draining. Sleep.... glorious sleep.... Made for a good day. And looking forward to another day off to rest. Well and watch the last Sprint Cup race of the season. Glorious R&R

Week in Review

Okay so the week is only about half over. But since I wasn't sure I would get to the post at the end of the week I thought I would post this now. Plus I am hoping the last couple of days are more routine. I might be on vacation next week. I know that you are now wondering what the "might" is all about. And I can think of at least one person that might have a vested interest in when I will be free. I always book vacation around my birthday. This year is no different. I booked it month's ago and it was approved. According to my current schedule I am on vacation next week. So what changed? Well I have been in training for the last 5 weeks. It has felt like a mini vacation. This week we went live and while the in class training has been completed the first two weeks on the phones is called TCC. Still not sure what it stands for but it means we have weekends off, time off the phones and most important floor support to assist us with our calls. I want to be there for all of that. Get a couple of weeks under my belt before going on vacation. Problem is that the week after is booked solid for vacations. Next week... or 2 weeks from now it would be no problem. But that week... not so easy. I talked to my trainer and he told me no. Then I discovered that TCC was only the 2 weeks and I really wanted to be there for all of it. So I talked to one of the managers on Friday. He thought it was a great idea and beneficial to the company for me to be there for all of it. But it has been a crazy week and so far the request has fallen through the cracks. Hopefully I find out before the end of my shift on Friday. Wouldn't want to make plans or anything.

So Monday was the launch date. *C*R*A*Z*Y* Basically Murphy's Law was in effect. "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." The IT department was updating the systems so there weren't enough desks. And then the main database system that we use crashed. Now normally I would cheer for time off the phones. But when it's the first day you want it to go smoothly. Instead that just meant the stress was heightened. It was a rough day but I survived.

Just in case work didn't contain enough drama then there was the stalker. Seems he had freaked out the day before on more then one person. Went as far as threatening suicide. So suddenly I had to deal with that... as if my day wasn't trying enough. But he had an appointment with the doctor the next day.... which resulted in what I would call a "Get out of jail free" card. Got a doctor's note to be moved to another team at work... where it will be less stressful. Don't even get me started on that one.

I was more stressed going into the second day then I was the first after everything that happened. But once I started taking calls I settled in and it was a much better day. And today was also a good day. As far as the calls go any ways. Tech support is a much better fit for me then billing ever was. So I am settling in. And yes it is challenging and will take some time to come together and for me to be completely comfortable with it.

Outside of the job I haven't been sleeping well. I am thinking that the lack of daylight is part of it... along with going live.... and the fact my routine seems thrown off. Or maybe it is the small feline that has taken to curling up with me at night and disturbing my slumber. But I love Azrael so I can't really get mad at him. Just hope that I can start getting some sleep.. or should I say sleep through the night.

Blogs & Berries

Blogger to date has not played nice with the BlackBerry. Thought I was going to have to wait for FireFox to come out for mobile devices and hope that it would allow me to blog. Today I downloaded the newest version of Opera Mini for the BlackBerry and here I am blogging from my phone. Just one more thing I can do from the phone. UPDATE: It is difficult to write lengthy posts on the BlackBerry. Well writing it is easy... but it is way too easy to actually back out of the post you were writing and lose the changes. After it happened twice on the next post I wrote I gave up and wrote it from the computer.

End of Training

So Friday brought with it the end of training. It was a sad day. I was really enjoying training. Or maybe that was the time off the phones, shorter days, long lunches, and weekends off. Well it's not even about the weekends off as consecutive days off. Tomorrow it's back to reality. Back to the phones I go. Fortunately, we will have people there to help us with our calls. Going to be interesting... But I am looking forward to doing tech support again. No more billing!!!

Some Things REALLY Bother Me

You know something has made me angry when I make the time to Blog about it immediately. I was reading an article today about how half of US doctors prescribe placebos. For all of you immediately thinking of sugar pills those were only used in about 2% of the cases. More often it was vitamins and things like that. And no that doesn't mean they think it's all in your head.

"One example used in the survey asked the MDs to assume that a clinical trial for fibromyalgia had revealed that subjects who received a sugar tablet showed more improvement than a no-treatment group. The survey recipients were "asked to rate the likelihood of their personally recommending this treatment to non-diabetic patients with fibromyalgia"; how often they recommend a therapy "primarily because you believe it will enhance the patient's expectation of getting better," and so on." Well over half said they would be moderately or very likely to prescribe the treatment.

So far so good... no anger yet... and then I made the mistake of reading some of the comments. And someone had this to say, "I thought it was also pretty amusing that fibromyalgia was used as an example, since its essentially a catch-all group for 'patient says everything hurts but we can't find anything physiologically wrong with them' " Now feel my wrath. As someone that has been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia I really hate hearing someone say that it's a catch-all.... kind of reminds me of the thoughts I've heard about Borderline Personality Disorder in the world of psychology. The implication seems to be that it's not a real disorder. I beg to differ.

I am also reminded of my LOA when the doctor told me that Fibromyalgia doesn't really exist and it's all in my head. R-I-G-H-T!!!! Sorry just a little sarcasm there. I wish it was all in my head. At least then I'd have an aswer and a way to stop the pain.

My reaction is probably even stronger by the fact that I am in the middle of a flare-up. All of my muscles are hurting. I am not on any medication for the pain so I just have to suck it up and go on as best as I can. And now I need to get to work for another fun filled day.

What Me Work?

Since it has obviously been a while since I posted anything it's pretty much just been the daily grind. Nothing much going on. Everything pretty much is a blur. Without getting consecutive days off I really hadn't felt like I had any time off. After all every time I had a day off I had all kinds of errands and what not to do. With consecutive days off I usually try to get everything I can done on the first day (or even on the "Friday" night) and then the second day I rest. So that has definitely been taking a toll on me.

For the last 2 weeks I have been in training. I am loving it. Not only do we get consecutive days off but it's time off the phones. No calls... the work is pretty easy... and we have been leaving early. Too bad it won't last forever. *lol* But we do still have 2 more weeks to go of the in class training. Then we will be back on the floor. I am enjoying it while I can.

Don't Try This at Home

Been meaning to write this for a while... what else is new... I was on Yahoo one day, probably because it's my home page and is about the only way I keep up to date on news and there was an article about the Ig nobels. Think funny alternative to the nobel prize. It's real research and sometimes leads to the question, why on earth would you want to study that? So what did I learn? Apparently sperm will explode in Coca-Cola. They don't just die... the word used was that they explode.

It should be noted that they also said that it does not make for a good contraceptive because of how quickly sperm can swim. Well I am guessing there are other reasons that it doesn't make for a good contraceptive for other reasons as well. Just thinking about the acid content and the sugar content....

So what was the reason for the study? Women really were using Coca-Cola as a douche (That reminds me of a conversation at work the other day about the word "douchebag" and how someone didn't know what a douche really was... But I digress). I thought that was just an urban legend. Guess I was wrong. So that prompted the research. And as a side note apparently it will also kill the AIDS virus as well. I realize that a case of Coke isn't all that expensive but if you're looking for birth control does it not make more sense to just buy condoms and practice preventative birth control? What a novel idea....

Random Events

What a week... Yesterday I had an allergic reaction to something. Today I went to Wal-Mart and was walking down the pet food aisle minding my own business when suddenly I had a box fall on my head and hit me right at the base of the skull. I saw stars and suddenly had sharp pain both there and in the top part of my neck. Shopping should not lead to a concussion! Initially I thought that it had just fallen off the top shelf. Then the guy who was working on the overnight stocking crew admitted that he threw it over.... I think the company frowns on an employee injuring a customer. The excuse that he gave was that he still isn't used to people being there at night shopping. I was then reminded that they've been open 24 hours since the Spring so it's not like this is really that new... I didn't file a formal complaint (so far). I really just wanted to get out of there immediately. There was certainly an element of shock there. Both with the fact it was just so unexpected... not the kind of thing you expect to happen while shopping.... and the body's immediate reaction to trauma. I am fine now at least. It really wasn't serious but certainly was random.

Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.”

Ever had one of those moments where you thought you had written something only to discover that you were really just hallucinating? After reading an article on the front page of the paper the other day I thought I really had to update my original post now that they had made me angry... or at least somewhat defensive again. Only problem was that there was no original post on the subject. So now I have to start a little farther back.

Back in March there was an article in McLeans on the most dangerous places in Canada to live (according to the stats from 2006 any ways). Just in case you are wondering Regina came out as the most dangerous place followed by Saskatoon, Winnipeg, Prince George and Edmonton. P.Dot came out at #43. Just to put this in comparison Montreal was 19 and Toronto was 26. One of the big things that came out of this was the fact that P.Dot was #4 in sexual assaults.

Immediately following the publication there was an article in the paper where the chief of police and the head of the sexual assault crisis center were saying that P.Dot residents were just reporting it more... that the numbers really weren't any higher here then elsewhere. I think they even gave themselves a pat on the back for their awareness efforts and for people coming forward. Couldn't possibly be that it's happening more often here could it? To them that's not what the statistics show.

Now sexual assault is one of the most under reported crimes and there is no way to know what the real numbers are. I just have no idea how they can back up the statement that it is just being reported more here when no one knows what the real numbers are in any city. Logic (at least my logic) implies that it really is happening more here. After all the reporting rates are likely about the same in any given city. I realize that those people in the know want to contradict that.. and if they can even remotely provide proof that it's not happening more here and is just being reported more I am all ears.

So skip ahead to yesterday. The title of the article (I kid you not here) is "Sexual Assaults Are Rising, But That Could Be A Good Thing." So far this year 36 sexual offenses have been reported which is an increase of 28.6% from last year. Maybe it's me but that high an increase does not sound like a good thing in any way. The head of the sexual assault center admits that only 7-10% ever report it. So back to my initial question, is it really being reported more here or happening more here? The justification here was that the numbers are not necessarily increasing but people are more comfortable coming forward. Say what? I never wanted to go forward but I didn't want him getting away with it either. I felt obligated to do something... And it was certainly not based on education, awareness, or comfort level.

So if P.Dot was #4 after 2006 and they are saying that sexual assaults (or at least the reporting of it) are on the increase does that mean we'll be ranked even higher in future surveys? More scary stats include include the fact that 1 in 4 Canadian women will be sexually assaulted. If I am not mistaken that also mirrors the statistics for mental illness. 49% happen in broad daylight. 80% happen in the home. Lastly, 69% are victimized by someone they know.

back to the stats here... "The centre received 2,209 calls to its 24-hour crisis line in 2007, a jump from 1,600 in 2006. As well, counseling sessions rose from 930 in 2006 to 1,256 in 2007." Did I mention it's hugely under reported (as far as police goes)? Anyone else scared by those numbers? The population here is just under 80,000.

I am still thinking back to my own experiences, especially since it was 3 years ago this past week. Not only was the attack itself brutal enough but you would think that you would feel validated for going forward... for having the courage to do something... for fighting back. Every step of the process I felt like I was being victimized all over again. And since they were talking about being comfortable and what not with going forward how about the sensitivity of the police force. In the end I got a call saying, "The charges are being dropped. There weren't enough witnesses to pursue a case." I am sorry that it wasn't a gang bang or that we weren't creating a porno flick to help your case. But according to the initial article they have a good closure rate.... How many of those cases are tossed?

Perhaps they need to address the deeper issues and not just gloss it over... not make excuses and try to say that it's being reported more, unless of course, they can back that up. At least that is my take on it.

Strangers Have the Best Candy

Yesterday while at work I discovered the truth behind not accepting candy from strangers. Well in my case it was a Spinach dip... for me that might as well be candy since I don't eat a lot of sugary sweets to begin with. I didn't think twice about it. After all I like spinach dips and she made a fantastic taco dip the other day. Really should get the ingredient list for that. Any ways... this time it turned out to be a really, really bad idea. Within a few minutes I had an insta-migraine, pain going through my neck, and a tingling sensation in my arms and hands. My hands actually felt sort of numb. I kept thinking I was going to drop my phone or something because I had very little feeling in my hands. Typing notes was quite a challenge. As the adrenaline rush kicked in I could feel my heart race too. The smart thing would've been to leave... maybe even go to the hospital. Did I do that? Nope. I stuck it out as long as I possibly could... well until I had a ride home any ways. That was about 3.5 hours later. By that point I was regaining some of the feeling in my hands but was still in rough shape. 24 hours later I am perfectly fine. But it definitely sucked. No idea what caused it since I have no known food allergies but I did learn not to accept random food items from people, no matter how appealing it looks.

There's a Visine for That

Before work yesterday my eye started hurting. At some point when I was out today I remember thinking, "There's a Visine for that." I was hoping that it was just dry eyes so I made use of the Visine when I got home. I was wrong and it didn't help. I am hoping it's nothing and clears up in a day or two.

What's in a Name?

I was relaxing and enjoying my day off when there was a knock at the door. Now it's pretty rare for me to have company... And I certainly wasn't expecting anyone. I answer the door and a woman is there about the upcoming election. Well the election that hasn't even been announced yet. First of all I will say that she was there from the Marxist-Leninist Party. The emphasis was on election reform and changing things in Canada... while pointing to things that have lost favour with the public, like the military presence in Afghanistan. She wanted my signature as they need at least 100 signatures supporting a nomination to go ahead with it. I figured why not. And I am sure some people are wondering what I was thinking in that decision. For one I think that people should have choice and that maybe there should be more then the 3 top political parties. And really I was apathetic and was considering not voting this time around. It's about f*#$ing with them. They think they have my support but really I am just disillusioned and don't believe in what any of them are selling.

I would really like to know why they chose that name... I mean are they hoping that people just won't know what Marx and Lenin stood for? I am assuming that it's because words like communist and socialism don't tend to garner much favour. Even while I was signing my name I was wondering if I was suddenly going to wind up on a watch list. It was like a throw back to days gone by... not that I would remember those days since I wasn't born yet.

She even left me with a page outling their goals... beliefs... I am a little scared to read it. It's all about their rhetoric. Do I believe that there needs to be change? Yes.... But not this. However, I do think they should be given their chance... maybe even shake things up a little...

High School Confidential

The other day I was at work and it was time for lunch (not sure I should be calling it lunch when it's 10:00 at night but any ways) so I head off to the lunch room, heat up my cheeseburger, and then sat down at a table by myself. Within a few minutes my table was full. It reminded me o being back in high school..... only for once I was the cool kid that people wanted to be with. Just thought it was interesting.

The Changeover

I never thought that changing shifts would be this difficult... at least not going from open to close. Figured I would just go back to what I was used to and would be fine since I could sleep in. Maybe it is just because I am getting older but it's not so easy. Granted last night I really didn't have anything to do so my mind wasn't as active but by midnight I just wanted to crawl into bed and go to sleep. The problem is that tonight I won't be done work until 2:00 am. My whole sleep schedule is messed up. Last week I was getting up at 4:30 and this week it's more like I am going to bed then. By the time my body catches up I will be on a different shift again. I'm too old for this.

Instinct

Whenever I am in pain I find myself trying to crack the pain away. It's almost like it's instinct... after all I know that the effort is futile. The pain with fibromyalgia is muscular.. a deep tissue massage might help, but not cracking it. I recently discovered that I am not alone in this behaviour. I was talking to someone that has arthritis in her knee and it would seem that when she is in pain she does the same thing. I wonder why it is that we both try uttery futile ways to get relief.... even while knowing that it won't help.

Open to Close

My job has a revolving door of employees. I think it has the highest turnover rate of any call center in town. It's really not difficult to see why that would be. Employee satisfaction does not seem to rate high on their priorities. And why change when there are always new bodies that seem willing to take the job and bring in the money? There's always fresh meat. After my last job I think my idealism has long since disappeared. The thought of small changes that would make things better no longer enter my mind. After all it's just a source of frustration since nothing ever changes. So I have just resigned myself to that's the way it is.

Now one thing that gets to me is the lack of consecutive days off. Maybe it's because of the Fibro... or just who I am but I find I need two days to recharge. The first day to get things done and the second day to rest. But I don't get that, most weeks. Right now it just feels like I have an extended weekend but really that's little more then illusion. Frustration number 2.... this week I worked open shifts (6 am to 2:30 pm) and then next week I go to close (5:45 pm to 2:15 am). So sure Friday I finished at 2:30 pm and Sunday I am not back in until 5:45 but I also have to switch over my sleeping patterns in there. Talk about a shock to the system.

I must say that the 6 am shifts are not my cup of tea. I do not enjoy the alarm going off at 4:30 in the morning and leaving the house while it is still dark outside. I much prefer the later shifts... especially the evening shifts. Not sure how I feel about the closing shifts quite yet. Ask me that next week.

Putting My Feet Up

Must say that I really love my BlackBerry. Other then my pet peeve I have not posted about it. I can certainly understand now why they call it the CrackBerry. I used to scoff at it But now that I have one... wow.... I purchased a micro-SD card so it has now replaced my PDA as my MP3 player. It can do just about everything the PDA can any ways. Now the GPS is something that I would have to pay Bell for so should I actually need the GPS I'd likely use the PDA for that. I can sync it with both the PC and the Mac so the calendar and contacts are up to date. I've had a love/hate relationship with FaceBook but the BlackBerry has a Facebook application which is a trimmed down version. Basically I can check status updates, post on people's walls, and send messages which is all I really need. So I am always on it. Brian and I have email wars on it. I also have Google Talk but it doesn't seem to be working quite right... possibly because I'm still signed in on the Mac. Plus I have unlimited email capabilities. There are games, memos, and a number of other applications for it. Oh yeah and it's also a phone. Okay so now that you all know I love my BlackBerry that really wasn't the reason for the post.

My goal for yesterday was to go to the hospital right after work yesterday. Plans didn't quite work out that way but I did make it to the hospital... just a little later. Fortunately I had the BlackBerry there to keep me company. So I had music to listen to and was writing an email. Sort of made it all tolerable... especially since I was there for 3 hours in the end.

Since you may be wondering why I was there (if you haven't already looked at the labels any ways) I was battling another ingrown toenail. Was at the hospital about 6 months ago and all they did was give me antibiotics. So it never really got better and just got infected again. The nail doesn't seem to grow out... just into the skin. For the last two months I have been trying to battle it on my own with Epsom salt baths and just digging at it, trying to drain the infection. But with no luck... just a lot of pain. I woke up yesterday adn just decided that it was time. Maybe it was the fact it was hurting to walk... or the fact that it was constantly bothering me... or just the concern that the infection was going to get worse and cause more problems. So I went.

So I get put in one of the rooms to wait for the doctor. One of the other nurses comes by since she wants to put a patient in that room. After all there are only certain rooms that they can do sutures in. She asks why I am there and I tell her. The response, "I wonder if they'll even do anything." Things that a health care professional just shouldn't say. I had been there for about 2 hours at this point and I do remember the last time I went in for the same problem. I wanted them to do more this time... And I really don't want to have them doubting it. In some ways I felt like she was minimizing the complaint as well... since if they aren't (or might) not do anything then maybe I shouldn't be there.

So the doctor comes in. He wasn't going to do anything about the one since it's not bad enough. But the one that has been painful he decided to cut away part of the nail, which is exactly what I was expecting. First of all, when they decide to freeze it that really hurts. Fortunately he had prepared me for that. I won't give you the vivid image of them cutting away the nail. I will say that one of the nurses and someone else came in and they were talking about putting a picture up for kids to take their minds off the fact that they are being stitched up. My response, "I'm sure it wouldn't just be the kids that would like that since right now I'd rather be looking at a picture then watching him cut away my nail." Bandaged it up and I was on my way. Now since the toe was frozen I figured the walk home would be no big deal. I figured it would feel weird but that was about it. I was wrong. I think the anttistetic started wearing off partway through. But it really started hurting. By then I had no choice but to keep going though.

Fortunately I am off work until tomorrow night. I am under orders to walk as little as possible for the next couple of days. If nothing else it is forcing me to take it easy today and put my feet up. Not exactly something that comes naturally. I want to go run errands... do laundry... 101 other things... and instead I am updating my blog and taking it easy.

That Was Easy... Sort Of

The other day I went to load a web site on the PC. For whatever reason I have trouble loading it in Firefox and Safari didn't like it much either so that left IE on the PC. Should have been no big deal. Except that the computer was off... Guess I hadn't turned it back on after the last power outage. Go to turn it on. No dice. Test it with a different outlet and with a different power cable. Still nothing. The next day I was supposed to have plans but they got rescheduled so it was time to troubleshoot. But I really didn't want to start taking out components and shorting the power supply to test. So I decide to call Acer. Now finding a number for Acer turned out to bed quite a challenge. Their web site does not list a toll free number. Fortunately for me there is always Google. And the first page that came up was someone posting the little known tech support number for Acer.

Maybe it's the fact the number is virtually unknown but they answered immediately. Their version of troubleshooting was to verify that the outlet works. Beyond that it was time to send it in. That was it? Now just to put this in perspective I had the side of the case off the computer and was all set to roll up my sleeves and really troubleshoot it. Instead I spend the entire time sitting on the futon with Azrael curled up in my lap. Now I will say that he was having system issue so he had to transfer me to level to in order to set up the repair. 3o minutes on hold (not so fn when you're on a cell phone) and the level 2 guy just had me reset the power to the unit and then set it up for repair. Guess they really don't want the end users potentially damaging the system while troubleshooting. But for once I wasn't fighting with the company to get something accomplished. Unlike my dealings with another company. *Cough, Apple, Cough, Cough*

About the only glitch has been in shipping it back. I callled on Monday and the pick-up was supposed to be scheduled for Wednesday when I'd be home. Instead they scheduled it for Tuesday and Purolator got mad because there was no buzzer code included. I was supposed to be done work at 2:30 so my goal was to find a box ASAP and then call Purolator in the hopes that they just might be able to re-attempt the pick up. Of course I ended up leaving work late and then ran right into my stalker. I was hoping that he might be able to get the original box for me. An hour later he couldn't find it and had this mangled box. I'm not even sure Purlator would accept it and even if they did if it was damaged in shipping I wouldn't really be able to claim it. But since I was on a time constraint I called Purolator and was told he might reattempt the pick-up. My day had really got shot to hell... Now the plans that had been rescheduled were on Tuesday. I was pretty frazzled and not as relaxed as I would like to be. A nd the Purolator guy didn't come by. So after the dinner ad a movie Steve went home and I was off on the hunt for a real box. Went down to Zellers and pilfered a box from outside Price Chopper. They were going to use it as a garbage for their employees. Not any more. There were only a couple of items in it so I could still salvage the box. Perhaps their manaegment should invest in a real garbage can. So I get it home and realize that it is much bigger then I initially thought. I didn't have enough foam and bubble wrap to secure the computer. Went downstairs twice and on the second trip someone had thrown out an iMac box. Seemed kind of poetic actually. Sending back a box to Acer in the box for an Apple computer.

I called Purolator Wednesday morning and first they said the delivery would be for Thursday. Okay that's a problem since I am back to work and then corrected it to the same day. But then I was a little paranoid that the driver wouldn't show up at all. And then the waiting begins since you have no idea what time they will be there. Couldn't go anywhere. And I really didn't want to start anything that required any sort of attention in the meantime. About 4 hours later the guy shows up. But there is no information on the waybill as far as where it is beign sent to. He calls Purolator and Acer didn't give them that information and they definitely didn't tell me. So the Purolator guy leaves without the package. Time to call Acer again. 20 minutes later I have the information and the pick-up has been rescheduled yet again. And back to waiting. 2 hours later he's back for the package. There goes my entire day... pretty much. And the next day it was delivered to Acer. Now I am just waiitng for them to fix it and send it back.

Quote of the Day

"He's not a stalker he's helpful." I think that is now one of my new favourite quotes. Some of you may be aware (or maybe not) of my stalker situation. If not well it all started back in 2003 when I made the mistake of being friendly with someone at work. He seemed to assume that it meant I wanted him when I was being nice. 3 relationships (with other men obviously since dating the president of your fan club is not a good thing... oh wait I did that too with a different guy but that's another story) and he still didn't get the hint that I wasn't interested. He'd follow me to the bar and what not. I pretty much stopped going out. But since he wasn't going away I would make use of him. Trying to make the best out of a bad situation.

Skip ahead to recent events. He has been more negative then usual and I didn't want it around me. More importantly he was on an escalation path. Left nasty voicemail when I didn't immediately call him back. It was all about guilt and manipulation. Would show up randomly. A couple of weeks ago though it hit an all new low. He showed up here with a package. This one I was expecting. I was having issues with the other computer. I made the mistake of telling him that. Now I was trying to just relax and not deal with it. But suddenly he was throwing his jacket on the ground and was cursing. I don't think I had ever seen him so angry. And he was about to rip the computer apart thinking it was hardware. Now I had figured that it wasn't but he just wouldn't let it go. I had my back to him and was starting to think something was going to come flying at me. And I really didn't want to troubleshoot.... or have him here. So I said not to worry about it (well I repeated that numerous times while he was here) and said that I was going to bed shortly. So he stormed off. For the first time in a long time I was afraid in my own place. I was pretty shell shocked actually. And I did not get an early night. Even had a friend get really concerned about my well being.

So since then I have not answered his calls or answered when he has shown up here. I ended up missing 2 days off work largely because of stress (not just about that but it certainly hasn't helped). I've felt anxiety with the thought that he's checking to see if the lights are on. I have no idea when he will show up or contact me next.

I was trying to tell mom about the experience and she said, "He's not a stalker, he's helpful." Being helpful is his way in. It's how he keeps control over me. And when I said that he shows up randomly she just said that some friends do that. Yes and real friends don't abuse that privilege. Real friends don't use manipulation... power... and control.... Real friends don't take advantage of the situation when you're drunk... Real friendship doesn't come with strings attached. So just to continue on the other day I asked mom to take me out shopping since I don't drive. She asked if I was talking to him. I said no, that I was ignoring his calls. She told me not to because he's helpful and is such a good friend. Yeah great friend... with friends like that you don't need enemies.

I don't understand it.... I don't understand why she would defend him and not be out to protect me. But there are a lot of things there that I don't understand.... and I am not about to delve into that relationship since this is a public blog. I'm just going to shake my head and keep repeating, "I don't understand..."

New Pet Peeve

I have a new pet peeve. My pet peeve is with all those companies that think it's fantastic idea to have their phone number spell something. UPS number is 1-800-PICK-UPS, for instance. Now I have never been all that crazy about having to locate the letters on the keypad, even though they're in order. Just give me the numbers. But now I have a BlackBerry. I can already hear the so what? The keypad is QWERTY so 1-800-PICK-UPS suddenly becomes 1-800-_376-3__ which as you can tell is not their number.... especially since 3 of them do not contain numbers. Last night I had to do a Google image search for a telephone keypad just so I could call Visa. Ugh.

Tales from the Mundane

Some days I get so caught up in life that I forget that others may not know what's going on in my world. Now for the most part it's uneventful. Was on a bit of a long stretch at work. I wound up calling in sick at one point just to get a day off. Fortunately, this weekend I had 3 days off. It makes it much more tolerable to go back to work tomorrow. Then in for 3 days and off for 1. No idea what I'll be working the following week. I am hoping for two things: No long stretch, and either weekends off or at least consecutive days off... The consecutive days are much more likely on that one.

Not that long ago I was writing an email and the S key fell off the keyboard. Now how does that happen? So I had to take the MacBook Pro into the service provider. The good news was that it was a 5 minute fix. I was freaking out thinking that I was going to have to leave the computer there for a few days while they get in a new keyboard. Instead he had a spare keyboard that he uses to replace individual keys. So I was in and out in no time.

What made it more critical is that the other computer was in for repair at the same time. Not sure if I had mentioned before that when I installed Vista on it I had a nasty screen flicker. I thought I was going to have a seizure. If I left it long enough for it to go to sleep when it woke up it was fine. Eventually, I got sick of the flicker so I reinstalled Windows XP on it. Too bad it had the same issue. So we took it into Future Shop. They replaced the motherboard and it still had the same issue. In the end they decided to replace it. Now I must say getting a replacement was good news with a touch of bad news. It's always nice to get a new computer. Since they don't sell Gateways any more that meant they were replacing it with a different brand. Future Shops replacement policy is that they will replace it with similar features. So even though we spent $1000 on the computer in the first place they were giving us one that was selling for like $600. Something just seems wrong about that... Or maybe it's just because my MacBook Pro was replaced with the current model... so I didn't feel like I was getting screwed in the process.

Get the new computer home and go to install the wireless card... Back to this dejection over the experience. I knew that the features they were going by was the key components... Processor, RAM, and hard drive space. There was only one PCI slot. And many people wouldn't think that was a big deal except that I did have both a wireless card and an added sound card. It also didn't have as many USB ports. So the replacement did have some drawbacks.

I turned on the computer and it wasn't long before I had the blue screen of death. Things really weren't looking good. Spent 2 hours troubleshooting and even went as far as trying to reinstall the OS. Too bad even that failed with the loveley blue screen. So then the new computer had to go back. When Steve went in he mentioned the lack of an extra PCI slot. While they were deciding what to do he left the store since he had to go to work. Gave me the receipt in case I wanted to deal with it. I did my homework. None of the HPs fit my needs but there was an Acer that cost only about $50 more then the HP they gave us but it was a HUGE upgrade and one I would actually be happy with. And it had the extra USB ports and the PCI slot. I call in and initially he was going to give us the same model we had before... But I take the gamble and mention the Acer. He calls back about 15 minutes later to tell me I'm getting the Acer and to ask for the modem back. Oops... guess they wanted ALL the components back with the system. My bad.

When I went in I learned how useless some of the staff there are. I knew there was another Acer that was even worse then what they had offered the day before and I wanted to make sure that wasn't the one I was leaving with. So I ask the guy. He seems to think that he needs to actually open the box to find out. Just ignore the big sticker on the side.... And it was the wrong one. So then the guy I had actually been talking to comes out. It was supposed to be the upgrade but someone grabbed the wrong one. So now the one that has been opened is supposed to be sold as an open box system. Good job buddy. get the right one and I can go home.

Now I am happy.... This one works much better and really is an upgrade from the system that I had. Who cares that it's not an HP? You're really paying for the brand there any ways. Besides any PC still takes a backseat to my Mac. Would've been even nicer if they had been willing to replace it with a Mac. No luck there though.

Inadequacies of the English Language

Really this goes along with my last post but I felt it deserved it's own space. The other day I was having a great conversation with a friend of mine about friendships. We were discussing close friendships but then there are always people that don't quite make the grade. They're "friends" but not in the best friends forever sense. They're not really acquaintances either. So I went on the hunt for a word that was between friend and acquaintance. I really couldn't find one. It seems that in English the word "friend" means anything above and beyond an acquaintance.

In my search (God bless the internet and Google *lol*) I came across this article that compared the Russian word "Droog" to the English word "Friend." Or should I say that it compared the cultures, more so then just the words that were being used.

I look around and I think of North Americans as being soliary... It's all about the "me." And that shows in our behaviours and our interactions with others. It's the iPod culture where we just tun everyone else out. Most of my conversations now revolve around IM and email and not over the phone or in person. Now I know that I am guarded so I can't possibly extend my reluctance to be close to someone and share all the details with my life to society as a whole... Having said that, I certainly believe that the nature of friendships that we have in North America is quite different then those being described of the Russian culture.

“The intensity of Russian relationships surprises Americans. Russians share everything with their closest friends. They share each other’s sorrow. They commiserate and help each other. A male friend is a brother, a drinking companion, a soul mate, and a bulwark against the outside world... To a Russian woman, a girlfriend is a confidante with whom she shares things she may not share with her husband or mother. The women see each other as comrades in arms against weak men and a hostile world. Russian émigrés are even closer because they have their own problems and difficulties in coping with life in their new country... In Russia, friends were there to help you when the system got in the way, to help you get a job, to fix your car, or lend you money. Few Americans have the time or patience for relationships requiring such commitment and loyalty. These relationships are very demanding.”

I think back to my last post about Facebook and the "friends" that are on the list. Certainly when I think of the comrade in arms and sharing everything with these people I think no way. The closeness just isn't there.

So I think the word "friend" is often overused and I believe there really needs to be an English word between acquaintance and friend... or a word more like the Russian word "droog" to represent that inner circle of friends... those people that we truly let in... if we let anyone in at all.

Why I Hate FaceBook

Really it could apply to any social networking site but I don't use any of the others. I already know that some people who read that are going to go on the defensive because they love FaceBook.... Good thing it's my blog and my point of view then. :)

I look at my "friends" (and I use that term loosely) list and see 153 names. But then I click on someone else's profile and maybe they have 200 names. Suddenly I start to feel a little inadequate. The comparison begins. It's like being back in high school again... where you want to be one of the cool kids with all the friends. In reality though I look at the list of names and some of them are family members, some of them are acquaintances, some of them little more then acquaintances, and then there are the gems.... These are the people that I truly call friends. So while I am lamenting about how someone else might have 200 names on that list I am still blessed to have at least 1 true friend. Some people don't even have that.

Lately I have been reminded to cherish those people that you truly call friends and don't ever take them for granted. I am going to end this post with a forward that someone sent to me...

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Health & Well Being

Been meaning to post this for a little while. I was reading Therapy Doc's blog over at "Everyone Needs Therapy" like I usually do. There was a post on ADHD and the need for a family assessment before prescribing medication. Now I am not going to comment on ADHD or the treatment options. The only part I want to comment on is the closing line which was, "Of course, medication is so much easier, right?"

It has really made me think about the health care system, the medical model, and what we are willing to accept. Let's face it therapy is work. It is not an easy process. It involves taking a chance... and opening yourself up.... being real. Deep down I am sure that most people would say that if they could just take a medication and skip the hard work of therapy they would. We're prone to go with what's easier. Let's face it this is part of the reason that some people self-medicate.

We seem to have embraced the fact that medication is the be-all and end all. In some circumstances it is warranted but I can't help but wonder if there is an over reliance on medication and a negligence on anything that doesn't fall under the medical model. If it can't be prescribed then it may get overlooked.

I can say, for sure, that the insurance company whole-heartedly embraces the medical model and this may be at the detriment of the patient. Take my Fibromyalgia for instance. I am on Trazodone to help me sleep but this does nothing for the pain. My doctor even admitted that medications wil largely be hit or miss. I go to the chiropractor and this helps tremendously. There's two problems. For one, I have to pay up front and be reimbursed. Compare that to medications where they just swipe my card and deduct the 80% automatically. Secondly, they only cover $200/year. That's only 3 months worth of visits. Then I'm on my own. I don't want to rely on medication when there is a holistic approach that helps. So in the end I feel like I am getting screwed by the health care system. After all I have something that works but affording it is a little more challenging. At least with my old job it was $500 which would cover me for 7 months.

Chiropractic care is just one example.... Therapy is another good example. My company will pay up to $200 to see a psychologist and then you're on your own. You would think by now that people could really get the help they need. But no.... I just wonder if things will ever change. I wonder if we will ever have a situation where people can get the help they need and not just be locked into the medical model where pharmaceuticals rule.

Facts About Fibromyalgia

I keep seeing the ads for Lyrica and for the web site MyFibroRelief. Now the second web site is really just a way to introduce you to the disorder and to try and get you to ask your doctor for Lyrica. Generally I prefer I web site that is not quite as biased and not presented by a pharmaceutical company but it was still informative and I wanted to pass on some of the information.

Fibromyalgia Facts

1. Fibromyalgia is one of the most common chronic widespread types of pain in the U.S. The condition affects millions of people.
2. Fibromyalgia pain is widespread and persistent. There is often muscle tenderness. Plus soreness or burning pain. Which often causes a lack of sleep. Sometimes, patients also have stiffness in their muscles or flu-like aching.
3. Fibromyalgia is thought to result from neurological changes in how a patient perceives pain.
4. To be diagnosed with fibromyalgia, patients must have widespread pain lasting at least three months. Plus pain in at least 11 of 18 parts of the body known as "tender points" (according to the American College of Rheumatology).
5. Women are much more likely to report having fibromyalgia than men. 80% to 90% of those diagnosed are women. Although both men and women can experience fibromyalgia.
6. The outlook for people with fibromyalgia has never been better. Exercise, diet and rest can help manage this condition. So can counseling and medication.
7. Several types of health care providers are available to help manage fibromyalgia. These include rheumatologists, primary care physicians, nurse practitioners, neurologists, psychiatrists, physiatrists and pain specialists.
8. Fibromyalgia may place large financial costs on patients and society. It may cause lost work days. And lost income and disability payments.
9. As with other chronic pain conditions, fibromyalgia is not a psychological condition, it can impact mood and cause distress. In that way it is similar to other chronic pain conditions. However, the majority of sufferers do not have mood-related disorders.

The main reason that I wanted to post this information is for point #9. While growing up I was repeatedly told that the pain was simply growing pains and would disappear.... even after I stopped growing. When I was in London I was referred to a rheumatologist and after 18 years finally got the diagnosis. Then I moved to Peterborough and it was like a trip back in time. I was told that I would never get treated for it here. When I was on an LOA from work I was told Fibromyalgia doesn't exist and was all in my head. I was told that it was a symptom o a psychiatric disorder and as a result was put on the wrong medication... They were treating depression... Too bad I wasn't suffering from depression. So to see the point made that it is NOT a psychological condition makes me feel validated. And I want to emphasize that to others who may know someone with Fibromyalgia or may be suffering themselves.

Never Enough Time

I have decided that there are just not enough hours in the day. My blog quite often is what gets neglected in the process. I'm starting to wish there was a way to telepathically create a post. It would make my life much easier and I'd be more productive that way too. Or even using talk-to-type software.

At the moment I am enjoying my days off... At least I am not sick. The plague is gone. After walking about 27k this week I am taking it easy and not wandering very far. Plus the sky is currently grey and we're under a severe thunderstorm warning. Doesn't exactly make me want to venture outside. I'd much rather just spend the time with Azrael who is currently showing off his belly.

Raw End of the Deal

I was really enjoying my days off. I was just resting and taking it easy. Or should I say I really enjoyed my first day off. Then on Monday I woke up at about 4:00 a.m. to a really sore throat. It got to the point where I was having trouble swallowing. As a result I was dry heaving. I got to the point where I almost wanted to vomit in the hopes that it would help. So Tuesday I was concerned that it would continue. I woke up and was relieved that I could swallow again. However, I was really congested. I knew that work was going to be really busy as we had been closed for the holiday the day before. And I wanted to at least try to make it through the day. So I stumbled off to work. I went through a pocket pack of Kleenex before lunch. My eyes were watering and I felt lousy. People wanted me to stay away from them so they didn't get sick too. For most of the day I was debating whether or not to call in sick on Wednesday.

At the end of the day I asked the supervisor about the ramifications of calling in sick. We are no longer doing the in class training so one would think that it wouldn't be as serious if I missed a day. The answer shocked me. He threatened to give me a written warning if I called in sick. Now that seems a little harsh. His claim was that in orientation we all would've received the equivalent of a verbal warning. Now I realize that the contract does not allow you to miss more then 16 hours while in training and if you do then say goodbye to your job. But so far they haven't held to that. The supervisor even admitted to me that he is behind on handing out disciplinary action. Last time I checked it was supposed to be done in a timely fashion. If he gave me a written warning though that stays with you and it means no chance of promotion. All that because you missed one day.

I have a couple of problems with this. First of all, no one else was given a written warning. Brian had showed me the letter he received after missing a day. It was a verbal warning and not a written one. So I'd like to see them try to give me a written warning. I'd be having a few words with HR if that happened.

The second problem I have is that in over 6 months I had not missed a single day of work. Had I still been on the old contract nothing would have even been said to me. Had I gotten sick a week later nothing would've been said. But because it was while in training I am being severely penalized for it. Something just doesn't seem completely fair there.... It's not like I wasn't legitimately sick either.

I must say I am not a big fan of their attendance policy in general. After 6 months you start earning 1 sick day per quarter. Maybe it's just me but when I get sick it's usually for more then 24 hours. So instead of really being able to recover you have little choice but to return to work. I get that they don't want so many people using up their sick days right at the beginning of the year.... especially since some of them may not be around all that long. But as anyone that has worked in a call center can attest to when one person gets sick it spreads like a wildfire. It's not like they pay us enough to miss any time. Definitely not an environment that promotes health and well being.

But getting back to my own illness here... Tuesday I got home and just got progressively worse. Didn't take long before I had a fever of something like 100.5. It was at that point when I made the decision that despite the threats I was not coming into work the following day. I called the sick line that night. It was not terribly reassuring when they couldn't find me in the system. Is this Office Space? I'll be moved around randomly and just not be paid for my work? Then I had to call the actual supervisor and leave a message. Pretty sure I was rambling at that point. Then off to bed I went and slept for 12 hours. I went to my doctor on an unrelated matter and he said that it was viral and to get better it was going to take fluid and rest.

So today I was back to work. In an ideal situation I would've taken today off as well to rest. But had I done that I would've been guaranteed a written warning and would've been out money. So back to work I went.

Update: I am sure you are wondering why there is an update when I hadn't even posted it yet. Well I wrote most of it before leaving for work since I couldn't sleep and was up early this morning. I had been told that if I wanted to be paid the sick day then I would have to tell a supervisor that I wanted to be paid. Now why does it have to be so complicated? Can't they just assume that I want the money and pay the day? But no... They seem to love making things difficult. I should point out that the answer did not come from anyone official and I actually have not received an official answer. But first I was told that I hadn't been there long enough. Okay so they didn't realize that I was on a different contract and was switched over. Then I was told that it wouldn't be paid because I was in training. No one ever told me that there were stipulations. Finally, I was told that I would need a doctor's note. Now I was at the doctor's yesterday. I did not get a doctor's note. I did not think I was going to need one. And it costs me $10 to get a doctor's note. Furthermore, if I want to see my doctor I have to book the appointment well in advance. Plus my doctor is out of town. What do they expect me to do? This time okay I can call the office and get a doctors note since I was there... but in future.... Once again I feel like I am getting the raw end of the deal here. I feel like I have to jump through hoops to get something that they promised. Not like that seems to be anything new. And someone admitted to me that the company makes their own rules. So will I get paid for the day.... who knows. Nothing I can really do about that now since I already took the day off. I just feel like I am getting screwed again...

Shock Doctrine

Normally I wouldn't do a book review... especially for a book that I haven't even read. So I guess this really isn't a review. I am looking forward to the release of Naomi Klein's new book called "Shock Doctrine." Back when I was in university I read the book No Logo for one of my classes.

In a nutshell it challenges the idea that democracy and the free market actually go hand in hand. The argument is made that politicians exploit times of crisis and disasters to pass bills that might not get passed otherwise. It's called disaster capitalism. It's hard to argue with some of the examples that are provided. Take for instance the aftermath of the Tsunami that hit southeast Asia. Immediately following the beaches were auctioned off to tourist resorts. There are many examples following Hurricane Katrina. Housing projects wiped out. Corporations capitalizing on the plight of others.

Free Gift With Purchase

As you may be aware I really like Yahoo news. And some days I come across some real gems there. This one left me scratching my head. It seems sales are soaring at a Missouri car dealership where they offer a free handgun with purchase. Customers can choose either a $250 credit at a gun shop or $250 for gas. Seems all but two people have opted for the gun. Maybe it's just me but I don't get the connection between a car and a gun. Is that for road rage?

Okay I have been to Missouri and I must say that there was a gun shop on every corner. It was a bit of a culture shock for me. After all here in Canada I'm not sure I've ever even wandered by a gun shop. I mean I probably have but it wasn't as prominent. Their gun shops are like our liquor stores. Definitely a different culture and a different mindset. Apparently one that sells cars.

Early Mornings Do Not Agree With Me

I realized today that I am missed... and people notice my absence. Now that to me seems a little odd since I am right here. I am still online. Or can be reached by phone. But my Blog has not been updated and my status on Facebook has been non-existent. So in many ways it is like I don't exist. But don't worry I haven't completely fallen off the face of the earth.

I would like to be able to say that a newfound relationship has been taking up all my time.... But that is more wishful thinking. More like those super early mornings really do not agree with me. Let me tell you at 5:45 am I do NOT want to be getting out of bed and preparing myself for the long walk to work. The job really doesn't help that but that's a whole other story.

I have now recovered from working midnights, I think. Took quite a while but now even on my days off I am up in the morning. Maybe not quite as early as before work but still in the morning. I'm sure a few people are now wondering if I have a fever since I was always the one going to bed late and waking up late. Not any more. I guess I did a good job of resetting my sleep patterns.

Other then that my life has been pretty uneventful. Getting plenty of exercise walking to work. Had a friend suggest that I join the military. Not sure how he figured I was going to manage that with the Fibromyalgia or with the thought of carrying 50+ pounds on my back. Or even the fact I'd be without Azrael for an extended period of time. Somehow I just can't see it.

Speaking of Azrael I have an addict for a kitty. I am back to having catnip all over the floor at the moment. I put down the bag of catnip instead of putting it away. So he got into it. And now I really have nothing else to say. Enjoying the peace and quiet and am about to go back to it.

A Great Big Thank You

As many of you are aware I lost my bracelet. So today I want to say a big thank you to my friend Derren. He knew just how much that bracelet meant to me and so he went out and made one for me. It even has a clasp making it much harder for me to lose. So thank you for that! :o)

Pause, Stop and Think

Ever since I got my cable fixed I have been subscribed to the military channel. I have such eclectic tastes I tell you. Hours of viewing pleasure. Any ways I was watching one show not that long ago called Combat Zone. It looks at specific battles that have occurred in history. This particular episode was on the "Triangle of Death" in Iraq.

What stood out to me wasn't the attacks by the insurgents or the changing face of modern warfare. The main focus was on the first ever democratic election. The US soldiers were protecting the polls allowing people to vote. They would not allow cars for fear of car bombs. So people had to walk in. And still they came. The insurgents continued to attack.. with mortar fire and live rounds. And still they came. These people risked their lives to come out and vote. 70% turned out to vote. In spite of it all these people had the courage to get out and vote.

Kind of puts us to shame. The last election I did get out and vote... but it wasn't because I really felt inspired to do so. I only voted because I was walking right by the polling station any ways. I still felt like it was an inconvenience and it was right down the street. Not like I had to contend with gunfire or anything. It was apathy. I didn't feel like it mattered. Political parties to me equal corruption and none of their platforms really seemed relevant to me. Stories like these really make me stop and think. I take for granted the fact I live in a democratic society and the freedom that comes with it. Perhaps it would be good to keep this in mind the next time there is an election.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Widget

Cat's Best Friend

In a previous post I mentioned that I went grocery shopping the other day. I was at Zellers and decided to pick up some catnip for Azrael. I hadn't bought him any treats or toys in a while. And my paycheque was higher then expected. So why not? I was putting away the groceries and normally he loves to play with the shopping bags. This time he could smell the catnip. So he was trying to get into it. I had to go down to IGA as well. I debated taking it away from him but he had not been able to open the package and I wasn't going to be long.

I am sure that you can see where this is going. I come home and Azrael greets me at the door like usual. As I pet him I am wondering why he's dirty. Then I see the carpet. He got into the catnip all right. It's now spread all over the floor.

I was sitting down and trying to figure out what to do. I didn't want to just vacuum it all up but it's not like cat nip is all that easy to get off the carpet. I was watching and instead of going after what was already on the floor Azrael was trying to get the remnants out of the bag. Eventually I had to get up what I could and put it out of his reach.

He really enjoyed it and I am glad that I could do that for him. I am wondering though how bad it is that I am my cat's drug dealer and am promoting him getting stoned. *lol*

Public Holidays

Back in February was Family Day.... the newest public holiday in Ontario. Initially, I had been banking on getting double time and a half for the day since when asked my supervisor said that they don't give lieu days for any of the holidays. So imagine my surprise when I find out that they are going with a lieu day this time. It does cost them less because it's a day off with pay, rather then 1.5x your wages plus the pay for working the day.

So I requested that my lieu day be a Saturday in March. I was hoping that this would guarantee I wouldn't be working on the anniversary of when I was fired from Minacs. My days off had consistently been Thursday and Friday but it was always possible that the scheduler might do something other then copy & paste for the schedule. Plus it was the only way I was ever going to get a Saturday off. Then Bill got a note saying that they were going to assign the day off. What he said is that he had already submitted the request so we would just be waiting to see if it was given. Now when the schedule was released it wasn't on there. That really didn't mean anything since as I mentioned whoever does the scheduling just copied and pasted the schedule from the week before. So I asked Bill and the next thing I know I have the day off. So at this point I was assuming that it was being used as the lieu day.

Have I mentioned the guy that does scheduling really likes to copy and paste? The following week my schedule still had 3 days off. Now the week before had been the Easter weekend so I knew I had an extra day's pay there. I knew that getting an extra day off.... when my paycheque would remain th same size... was not an opportunity that presented itself very often. So I decided to capitalize on it. Then the following week I still had three days off... I wasn't going to take it... and then with the contract loss I got the time off any ways.

Get paid and low and behold it wasn't on there. Now when I first found out I was at home and not about to go all the way to work to get my pay stub and confirm what I already suspected. First day of training I went down to HR and was reminded that to work in HR (at least here any ways) people skills are not a job requirement. They couldn't find the pay stub and the person that would have it had called in sick. So the next day I was back... and got my pay stub. Sure enough I wasn't paid. When I tried to ask I got cut off and told to talk to Bill. When I went to ask Bill he said that he had told me I might not get paid for the day and that it was a personal request day. Talk about BS and covering his own ass. He never said that. He told me that they were assigning the days off but also said that it might go through since he put the request in before he got that memo. Then he said to let him know if they hadn't paid it out within the 3 months.

At that point I gave up. Since they hadn't paid it out I figured I might as well just enjoy the fact now they owed me yet another day off. If they pay it out it has to be with the shit premium. Otherwise they have to give me the day off with pay. No complaints there. Now you would think that since Bill is a supervisor (and was my supervisor) he would be looking into what they are going to do since it has to be given to me by May 17. That's coming up pretty quickly. Otherwise, it's a violation of the employment standards act. Having said that, it's not like the Ministry of Labour is all that speedy. Took 8 months for them to open my last investigation with my former employer. The real issue is that we will still be training until then. Granted we will be on the floor before the date passes. T-Mobile has a policy that if you miss more then 16 hours then you're out. I'm not sure if that is just in class hours... and I don't think that I will be missing that but if you take away the 8 hours for the lieu day then I really can't miss any time.

It's not like I haven't given them outs. I booked the day off a month after the holiday. Even gave them the chance to correct that and just pay for the day (not the premium wages) knowing that we were going to be in training until their time runs out. Even asked them about paying out the lieu day as one of the days I missed instead of vacation time. That was more for their benefit then mine. I was getting paid for the day regardless... but thought it would be easier for them.

Now I am half tempted to just do nothing... After all I can pretty much guarantee that the 3 months will come and go and I won't get the day off. But at the same time I just want what I am entitled to and don't want to fight for it. I am concerned that if I don't hound them for it I'll get lost in the shuffle and lose the day completely. After all I was switched to a new contract in there.... Or if I leave I'll end up fighting them for the pay. When Heather comes back from vacation I am going to ask her to look into it. If there is still no answer then I am just going to leave it.... until the 3 months has gone by. Then I'll be asking what happened to my day off. See what they say then.

Small Ray of Sunshine

I am still adjusting to the day shifts. It's so odd to see daylight again. This morning I slept in until Azrael jumped up on the bed any ways. He was my wake up call. I must say that the timing of it all was actually not such a bad thing. In winter there isn't a whole lot of sunlight and it was so cold that I didn't want to be outside. Now it's gorgeous weather outside. On Friday after work I took a long walk down to Chapters and the grocery store. It's also good because I am walking to work. I am not a fan of the cold and would much prefer to hibernate in the winter.

Monday payroll went in. The question had been raised about using vacation days to cover the 2 days that we lost. There was no response from HR. I guess, much like with everything else, they were still working on it. So we asked Heather, the trainer, about it. When we went on lunch she went to HR. The initial answer was no because they don't pay out the vacation pay. But then Heather realized that it wasn't that we were asking to pay it out... but to cover the days that we had missed. So back to HR she went... In the end she contacted the site director and after about an hour and a half had been told that we would all get vacation time for Monday and if we were scheduled to work Saturday then we would also get vacation pay for then as well. I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. That's a difference of $160. And with that pay cheque I had to cover my tax return.

Then on Wednesday we got our pay stubs. I am now cautiously optimistic. They kept us at our original rate... Well the shift premium was obviously excluded but that extra 75 cents is an extra $30 a week. That adds up pretty quickly and makes the difference between being able to pay bills and not being able to. I am scared that on the next pay cheque they will say that it was an error and take it away. I'm pretty sure if they try that there will be a cry of outrage. But we'll see. I wouldn't put anything past them at this point. Either way I did get paid the extra and am hopeful that it will continue.

What a Day, Part 2

So yesterday was fun.... today didn't start off much better. I didn't go to bed until 4. I couldn't completely give up the night shift routine quite yet, especially since I have plans first thing in the morning. I woke up at about midnight but didn't want to get out of bed yet. So I went back to sleep.

I woke up to an argument. Now I live in an apartment building so it's not that uncommon. But what jarred me awake was when I heard "Don't hit me." And then "I think you just broke my nose." I was suddenly awake. Not the way I wanted to start my day. So then I was trying to figure out what apartment it was coming from... or if it was outside. And the more I listened the more violent it seemed to become. Time to call the police. Now from the sounds of it I got the apartment wrong since I wasn't the only one that called.

Talk about the adrenaline rushing. I don't want to be a witness to this. I just don't want it to happen at all. 2 hours later and I am finally calm again. Not a good way to start the day.

What a Day, Part 1

Remember how I said I was going to Blog about life shortly? It really had not been dramatic until I said that. Well work had involved some drama.... Then it all just hit the fan.

Yesterday night it started like any other day. Woke up at 9:30 when the alarm went off. Stayed in bed. Fell asleep again. Then got woken up by the alarm. Azrael came bounding into the room and up onto the bed. Nice to know he's my secondary alarm clock. Figure I've got some time to give him attention I curl up with him and then look at the clock. Discover it's 10:30. Oops, time to get up. Okay so that part wasn't as normal. Get up, get dressed, and head off to work.

At midnight it's time to login like usual. Except that there are no managers on duty. For some things I am sure that you could do the job without a manager but not tech support. We need someone to answer questions and authorize escalations. So we all logged in and went into Aux. Around 1 Stu and I had been discussing things and decided that we should go talk to the team leaders for the other contract before they left at 2. It's all about CYA. I was under the impression that we were not allowed to take calls without a supervisor on duty to approve escalations and in case of emergency. So we wander downstairs and leave while they try to reach our team leader... or really anyone that can make a decision and hopefully get someone in. One of the team leaders comes upstairs to find out if we had any idea who was supposed to be here. We just work here. The other team leader was calling the site director after not being able to reach Bill. So at about 1:30 the two team leaders come upstairs with word from the site director that we are to take calls. The question comes up about escalations... We're told to use Bill's name which I still think is fraudulent. The approval is supposed to be based on someone being there to answer questions if necessary about it.... Any ways they call Montreal to confirm but never get back to us. I should also mention that when told to take calls it turned into a confrontation. Some of us scattered so as not to be associated with it. I got pulled off the phones for having the most technical ability. I was just there to answer questions. Immediately I had 3 people that refused to take calls without a supervisor. So 2 people were logged in and another was rolling the queue to avoid calls. Then I had Montreal call wanting me to tell them to take calls. Now they had been told and I can't force them. For the next hour I had to listen to them justify their decision not to take calls and bitch about the whole situation. Had one of them playing mini-lawyer threatening to take the company to the human rights commission. For what? I was pretty happy when they decided to leave. They left at 3... going by the 3 hour rule. Now the 3 hour rule in the Employment Standards Act refers to you being sent home in less then 3 hours. They were not sent home... They left voluntarily. So I'm not sure how the 3 hour rule even applies here. Any ways they left and then at 5 Mr. Negativity finished his shift and left as well. That left 2 people taking calls for the rest of the night. The shift couldn't end soon enough.

I should've known something was up when the Ops manager showed up at about 7:30.... and then one of the team leaders who had been MIA also made an appearance.... Seems he had called the acting supervisor and no one knows what happened there. Then the HR generalist showed up. They sat the 3 of us down and told us that with all the issues we've had with the tools and the fact the call volume just isn't there they are closing down the Sympatico contract and moving it all to Montreal. Last day here will be April 4. How is that for notice?

So what does that mean? Well there is a T-Mobile training group starting on Monday. So they're offering us a job with them. I am not going to lie and say that I am happy about it. Rotating shifts.... Less pay... Billing issues with a cell-phone.... No more emails at night/You Tube/Facebook... About the only good thing is the 6 days off before it starts. That and the fact training is 8 weeks long. Training is always the easy part. But it's from 7 - 3.... not exactly a nice shift for me. I'm still processing the whole situation and where we go from here.