Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The Vote Is In
So it is now official... the teachers voted today on whether or not to strike. The unofficial vote count is that just under 75% actually voted and 57% voted in favour of a strike while 43% voted against it. Those results can be found here. OPSEU has also released a statement here that does not list the actual numbers but they did vote yes to the strike. It should also be noted that the earliest they would strike is mid-February. On one hand that gives them more time to reach an agreement which is good. On the other hand, the later you get into the semester the more it impacts the students which really is what they are going for... maximum impact. More marks are due later in the semester and you start having finals... grades not going in... courses not being completed... people not being able to graduate. Not a good scene. Hopefully it does not go to a strike and they can reach an agreement.
Where We Stand Now
So if you recall my post from New Years it was drama filled but there was a light at the end of the tunnel at least. I could see my freedom at least. Then 3 days later I was back to feeling like a prisoner with no escape possible. I had already made plans with the stalker to run some errands before the drama started. I debated whether or not to keep them but wanted to see where things stood. As I quickly discovered not where I wanted them to.
It was quickly apparent that in his mind nothing had changed. It was like his mind couldn't cope so he had forgotten or was blocking out the fight from New Years. On the way to the chiropractor he said that he was filing a soft bankruptcy because right now he didn't have any money available and therefore was unable to help me out. My heart started to sink as soon as he did that. This is what I was afraid of.
Then he invited himself over. Instead of asking if I wanted to get together at some point he just asked what night was best to watch District 9. How about none? And when he did come over we fought over what I was doing on the computer. When asked what I was doing I just said work. After all if he was so stupid that he didn't see me disconnect the hard drive from the Wii and bring it over then I really shouldn't have to explain it. But he wanted to know exactly what I was doing. Tried to say he thought it was such an open relationship. I am not an open book... especially not with him.
Also when he came over he had bought me a tripod. And that was the point of devastation... right back where we started. Where he thinks he is the knight in shining armour and if he just keeps it up that one day I will come to realize that he is this wonderful guy and I want to be with him (forgive me while I vomit here at the thought). Or maybe he thinks we are already together. Don't like either option personally.
So now I am waiting for him to contact me so I can tell him never to call me again and not to stop by. Thought he was going to call on Saturday which would have been perfect but of course it didn't happen that way. Would have been good because I would have had witnesses and I would have been out of the house at the time. He did call Sunday and I ignored the call. Was utterly exhausted by that point and this is a multi stage process.
See here is what I predict will happen. I tell him to leave me the hell alone and end the call. He calls me back because he wants an explanation and when I don't answer comes over here. Hence why I don't want to be home. Although even if I am not home I then have to be concerned with him potentially breaking in or something. Violence is certainly not outside the realm of possibility. I have seen him angry and it wasn't pretty. He has used threats of violence (that weren't directed at me but other people/places) to control me and keep me from ending things. He has said before that reasoning doesn't solve anything and that you have to go with violence.
I am scared to death of what might happen.... I don't expect him to go quietly. Would be nice if he did though. The whole thing is just filling me with anxiety... to the point where I am exhausted all the time and am having trouble focusing on anything else. But I just want it over. I want to be free. I want the restraining order/peace bond/whatever and then hopefully I can go back to focusing on school and maybe even have a life again. It's a dream... and a nice one.
It was quickly apparent that in his mind nothing had changed. It was like his mind couldn't cope so he had forgotten or was blocking out the fight from New Years. On the way to the chiropractor he said that he was filing a soft bankruptcy because right now he didn't have any money available and therefore was unable to help me out. My heart started to sink as soon as he did that. This is what I was afraid of.
Then he invited himself over. Instead of asking if I wanted to get together at some point he just asked what night was best to watch District 9. How about none? And when he did come over we fought over what I was doing on the computer. When asked what I was doing I just said work. After all if he was so stupid that he didn't see me disconnect the hard drive from the Wii and bring it over then I really shouldn't have to explain it. But he wanted to know exactly what I was doing. Tried to say he thought it was such an open relationship. I am not an open book... especially not with him.
Also when he came over he had bought me a tripod. And that was the point of devastation... right back where we started. Where he thinks he is the knight in shining armour and if he just keeps it up that one day I will come to realize that he is this wonderful guy and I want to be with him (forgive me while I vomit here at the thought). Or maybe he thinks we are already together. Don't like either option personally.
So now I am waiting for him to contact me so I can tell him never to call me again and not to stop by. Thought he was going to call on Saturday which would have been perfect but of course it didn't happen that way. Would have been good because I would have had witnesses and I would have been out of the house at the time. He did call Sunday and I ignored the call. Was utterly exhausted by that point and this is a multi stage process.
See here is what I predict will happen. I tell him to leave me the hell alone and end the call. He calls me back because he wants an explanation and when I don't answer comes over here. Hence why I don't want to be home. Although even if I am not home I then have to be concerned with him potentially breaking in or something. Violence is certainly not outside the realm of possibility. I have seen him angry and it wasn't pretty. He has used threats of violence (that weren't directed at me but other people/places) to control me and keep me from ending things. He has said before that reasoning doesn't solve anything and that you have to go with violence.
I am scared to death of what might happen.... I don't expect him to go quietly. Would be nice if he did though. The whole thing is just filling me with anxiety... to the point where I am exhausted all the time and am having trouble focusing on anything else. But I just want it over. I want to be free. I want the restraining order/peace bond/whatever and then hopefully I can go back to focusing on school and maybe even have a life again. It's a dream... and a nice one.
Win & Lose
Monday I was on my way to class and the super stopped me. I had won $50 in the monthly draw for paying my rent on time. Go to school and take it out of the envelope and put it into my pocket. Then I went to the book store... caf.... another class... and then took the bus home. At some point in there the money fell out of my pocket. :( So I won the money... and then lost it. I checked with the school and no surprise that it wasn't turned in. I am extremely disappointed that I lost the money but the good news is that I had at least hadn't been banking on the money being there.... Seems to be par for the course....
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
FaceBook Friends
After some of the recent drama I decided to up my privacy settings even further as far as FaceBook goes. I started by putting one specific person on a limited profile so that they couldn't see any posts either made by me or made to me. After all I don't need more drama. But then there was an article on Make Use Of specifically on FaceBook privacy. It was an older article so some of the steps were no longer an option but along the way I found myself creating friend lists.... which was largely about where I knew people from. What I quickly realized (not that I am really surprised by this) is that very few people were actually making it to my "friends" list. I reserve that title for the people I am very close to.... There were family members, classmates, acquintances, co-workers, etc. But very few friends. I am okay with only having a few people I truly call friends but it is still very telling when according to FaceBook I have over 200 friends.
I know that a lot of people love the many applications you can find on FaceBook. I use an exporter to get my photos from iPhoto to FaceBook, the application for the BlackBerry, and an exporter so that birthdays are in my iCal. But I don't play any of the games... and don't spend a lot of time on people's profiles or checking out their latest pictures. I swear I am in the minority there. I always have FaceBook open so I check out the news feed a lot. I really wish that FaceBook would give you the option to block all news about external applications. I know you can do it application by application but that is such a pain. I keep thinking about just using FaceBook lite, assuming it even still works. Still works but seems kind of broken with all the new changes in the regular news feed. All the stories it showed me were ones I had replied to or posted myself.
There are also applications like the stalker list and I am not sure if it actually provides a list of the people who have checked out your profile or just makes up names based on your friends list but applications like that concern me. Don't I have the right to stalk in private? LOL There is a concern about privacy and without my consent telling people whose profile I visit most and then broadcasting that. It also makes me wonder how people view the results. Because my name isn't on there does that make me a bad friend? I have already said I tend to limit my FaceBook usage to the main page... doesn't mean I don't pay attention.
I know that a lot of people love the many applications you can find on FaceBook. I use an exporter to get my photos from iPhoto to FaceBook, the application for the BlackBerry, and an exporter so that birthdays are in my iCal. But I don't play any of the games... and don't spend a lot of time on people's profiles or checking out their latest pictures. I swear I am in the minority there. I always have FaceBook open so I check out the news feed a lot. I really wish that FaceBook would give you the option to block all news about external applications. I know you can do it application by application but that is such a pain. I keep thinking about just using FaceBook lite, assuming it even still works. Still works but seems kind of broken with all the new changes in the regular news feed. All the stories it showed me were ones I had replied to or posted myself.
There are also applications like the stalker list and I am not sure if it actually provides a list of the people who have checked out your profile or just makes up names based on your friends list but applications like that concern me. Don't I have the right to stalk in private? LOL There is a concern about privacy and without my consent telling people whose profile I visit most and then broadcasting that. It also makes me wonder how people view the results. Because my name isn't on there does that make me a bad friend? I have already said I tend to limit my FaceBook usage to the main page... doesn't mean I don't pay attention.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Local News Reporting
I was checking out Yahoo which is typically where I get my news from. There was an article on the front page about my town. Now seeing as I really don't pay attention to the news, I find it too depressing, it's not really surprising that this is where I would get the news from. Seems a 17 year old girl was charged in a stabbing from New Years. No additional details so I decided to check out the local papers. The paid paper had no coverage on it whatsoever. But it was in the free paper. There really wasn't any more information but at least they had information on it. The free paper for the win!
Having said that their actual journalism leaves a lot to be desired. Last week there was a report on the economy. While they were saying that few were untouched by the recession, "Peterborough is a regional government hub -- think the MNR, the hospital, the schools boards and so on -- this area was somewhat cushioned from the impact of the recession compared to other communities" Now that is small comfort to those of us laid off in the area.... And I am sure that other areas have schools and hospitals that employ people. Just because we don't have somewhere like GM I feel like they disregarded those of us that were laid off.
Skip ahead only a couple of days and the news headlines is on potential job loss because of the massive deficit at the hospital. There is going to be a peer review to investigate the finances. And the estimates from the union are that as many as 385 people could be laid off.
So we were cushioned from the recession because of jobs at this location and not even 2 days later there is speculation that even as many as 385 of those employees could be losing their jobs in order to get rid of that deficit. Now it's not a direct casualty of the recession per se.... but if it happens is still a major blow to the local economy. Maybe it wasn't so cushioned after all.
I am thinking the moral of the story is that the only way to protect yourself from job loss is to get a government job... a true government job.... somewhere like the MNR. But seriously I can't believe that in one article they are using the hospital as an example of how we were protected from the fallout of the economy and then turning around and saying that layoffs may be coming at precisely that location.
Having said that their actual journalism leaves a lot to be desired. Last week there was a report on the economy. While they were saying that few were untouched by the recession, "Peterborough is a regional government hub -- think the MNR, the hospital, the schools boards and so on -- this area was somewhat cushioned from the impact of the recession compared to other communities" Now that is small comfort to those of us laid off in the area.... And I am sure that other areas have schools and hospitals that employ people. Just because we don't have somewhere like GM I feel like they disregarded those of us that were laid off.
Skip ahead only a couple of days and the news headlines is on potential job loss because of the massive deficit at the hospital. There is going to be a peer review to investigate the finances. And the estimates from the union are that as many as 385 people could be laid off.
So we were cushioned from the recession because of jobs at this location and not even 2 days later there is speculation that even as many as 385 of those employees could be losing their jobs in order to get rid of that deficit. Now it's not a direct casualty of the recession per se.... but if it happens is still a major blow to the local economy. Maybe it wasn't so cushioned after all.
I am thinking the moral of the story is that the only way to protect yourself from job loss is to get a government job... a true government job.... somewhere like the MNR. But seriously I can't believe that in one article they are using the hospital as an example of how we were protected from the fallout of the economy and then turning around and saying that layoffs may be coming at precisely that location.
Hot & Cold
Maybe it's because of my biology course but I have really been paying attention to certain things as of late. For instance when I get off the bus at 5:25 and my chiropractor appointment is at 5:30 I am paying attention not just to the time but also to the fact that I am burning lactic acid to generate the movement necessary so that I can get there on time... or close to it. I know this because I can feel the muscles burning.
Something else I have noticed too is that now that the sleep is under control with the medication the biggest predictors of a flare-up (along with stress) is hot and cold. I am sensitive to extreme temperatures. Well probably not even all that extreme actually. I first noticed it one night not to long ago. I woke up (which is actually odd for me... usually I am dead to the world) and was sweating. I got up and lowered the thermostat. Stripped down to next to nothing and went back to bed. But it was too late. I could already feel the effects. I tossed and turned and tried valiantly to stretch it out... or crack something.... in the hopes the pain would go away. But it was all in vain. And as expected the next day I had very little energy. Had to take it easy and the muscles were still inflamed.
Got me thinking about other exposures to heat... when I went to physio they couldn't use heat because the muscles would tense up and not let go which defeated the purpose. As much as I love hot showers I can't take the heat for very long. I think that is actually a combination of dehydration and it causing a flare-up though. And summer without an air conditioner is unbearable. So it makes sense now.
Skip ahead to yesterday. It was -28 degrees Celcius with the windchill. I was all bundled up except for a scarf. I got a bit of windburn to my face. Other then my face for the most part I was warm... except for the gap between my jacket and where my mittens were and eventually my legs since I was wearing jeans. Even then it was really just my behind that was cold. Took a long time and a hot shower to really warm up. But my feet still seem to be a little cold. By yesterday evening I was getting fidgety. I have a messed up sense of pain because of the Fibromyalgia so I would probably say it was more discomfort then actual pain. But I kept trying to stretch it out... or crack the joints.... but I knew it was going to flare. And sure enough today I am feeling it. Going to be another day pretty much confined to the futon.
I will say that Azrael takes good care of me when I am like this. I know some of you now think I am totally insane. But they say that pets can lower your stress level and help you to feel better. The last time it flared up as I was lying in bed I looked over and there he was sitting beside the bed staring up at me. I am sure he didn't want to jump up on the bed for fear of getting kicked as I was thrashing around. Then when I woke up he was lying on the bed beside me. Today I laid down on the futon and he curled up on me... We both had a nice nap. Pet therapy works wonders :o)
Something else I have noticed too is that now that the sleep is under control with the medication the biggest predictors of a flare-up (along with stress) is hot and cold. I am sensitive to extreme temperatures. Well probably not even all that extreme actually. I first noticed it one night not to long ago. I woke up (which is actually odd for me... usually I am dead to the world) and was sweating. I got up and lowered the thermostat. Stripped down to next to nothing and went back to bed. But it was too late. I could already feel the effects. I tossed and turned and tried valiantly to stretch it out... or crack something.... in the hopes the pain would go away. But it was all in vain. And as expected the next day I had very little energy. Had to take it easy and the muscles were still inflamed.
Got me thinking about other exposures to heat... when I went to physio they couldn't use heat because the muscles would tense up and not let go which defeated the purpose. As much as I love hot showers I can't take the heat for very long. I think that is actually a combination of dehydration and it causing a flare-up though. And summer without an air conditioner is unbearable. So it makes sense now.
Skip ahead to yesterday. It was -28 degrees Celcius with the windchill. I was all bundled up except for a scarf. I got a bit of windburn to my face. Other then my face for the most part I was warm... except for the gap between my jacket and where my mittens were and eventually my legs since I was wearing jeans. Even then it was really just my behind that was cold. Took a long time and a hot shower to really warm up. But my feet still seem to be a little cold. By yesterday evening I was getting fidgety. I have a messed up sense of pain because of the Fibromyalgia so I would probably say it was more discomfort then actual pain. But I kept trying to stretch it out... or crack the joints.... but I knew it was going to flare. And sure enough today I am feeling it. Going to be another day pretty much confined to the futon.
I will say that Azrael takes good care of me when I am like this. I know some of you now think I am totally insane. But they say that pets can lower your stress level and help you to feel better. The last time it flared up as I was lying in bed I looked over and there he was sitting beside the bed staring up at me. I am sure he didn't want to jump up on the bed for fear of getting kicked as I was thrashing around. Then when I woke up he was lying on the bed beside me. Today I laid down on the futon and he curled up on me... We both had a nice nap. Pet therapy works wonders :o)
Saturday, January 02, 2010
New Project for the New Year
So I decided to embark on a new project for the new year. It was something that was on Lifehacker the other day. It is a photo a day project. Actually I have 2 projects going. I decided to do one that is random items that I may encounter... or whatever strikes me that day... and one of Azrael. So if you want to check them out here are the links : The random images and the one of Azrael Hope you enjoy them. The random one also feeds to my FaceBook account but I could only link up one blog so I couldn't do both.
Bringing in the New Years with a Bang
First I will start with the backstory. I had just finished my tests and with the free time had a bunch of errands to run and things that just kept me busy. On one of those days I had Steve drive me to school so that I could take some pictures of the empty campus and to meet with one of the instructors since I had been talking about a book earlier in the semester and thought it was a great resource. Any ways on the way out there he starts in on how I am neglecting his feelings and not spending enough time with him. This conversation was on the 22nd. I only finished my tests on the 18th and he worked all weekend. I typically go to bed around midnight so I am not making plans for 11 at night unless it involves a bar... and not with him. Actually it has been a very, very long time since I was at a bar any ways. I might have seen him on the 21st but I am not sure. Point is that I hadn't had a whole lot of time. Secondly it was Christmas week when people tend to be busy.
Also I could say the same thing to him about not respecting my feelings. For the most part I want to be alone for the holidays. I'm not entirely sure why.... Probably partially because I remember a lot of fights on Christmas as a kid and there are just a lot of things I don't like about the season... materialism... selfishness... all seem the flourish. And of course I feel guilty because I am perpetually poor and can't afford presents. Also at this point I don't even know when my family is doing Christmas. So he wants to do something on Christmas Day (which if I am not with family is usually my do nothing, talk to no one, spend time with Az day) and is mad that I won't give an answer when I am not sure what plans with family are.
I thought I got through to him that I wanted to be left alone....needed to be left alone. He called Christmas eve to wish me a Merry Christmas. I missed the call. So I called Christmas morning to wish him a Merry Christmas. Was hoping I would get the machine but no luck. He tried to invite himself over for Christmas dinner. Are you kidding me? I called my parents to wish them a Merry Christmas and found out that Christmas dinner was the next day (I still wonder if I would've been told had I not called). Still having not too bad a day. And then he calls.... He "needs" the computer. I should also point out that this is 9:45 at night. What on earth do you absolutely need to do at 10 at night that can't wait? I was LIVID. The whole thing just seemed so fishy and he knew (or at least I thought he did) that I wanted to be alone. I truly felt like this was all about him and he was forcing his need to be near people on me. So the entire time he was here (25 minutes) he got the silent treatment.
Skip ahead a few days of blissful silence. Granted he also knew that I had plans on Boxing Day (with family) and on the 27th. He had no idea what I was doing then... which was going to see Avatar (in 3D of course) with a good friend of mine. I knew that silence would come to an end. And sure enough on New Years eve it did. He wanted to come over and I guess it was too much to hope that he would actually make plans ahead of time and not the day of. Now I was also invited out toboganning and to a kegger. I told him that I was thinking about going to the kegger but in the end I caved and agreed to let him come over. I am a glutton for punishment I think. It was my guilt for not spending any time with him. So then a little while later I said I was still thinking about going and he asked if I would take him or go alone. Now this was with college friends and most of the people there I wouldn't even know... a house full of people... and I wasn't dating him. I wouldn't feel right taking someone else. So when I said that he asked if I thought he would embarrass me. Truthfully yes... I mean who wants to bring a 40 year old guy that you are not even dating to a college party....
It gets better though... He asked if I have any plans for the new year. I'm a student... so continue working hard comes to mind... do well in school. And that is where my focus is. So he starts droning on about his plans for the new year and one of the things he said was that he had to decide whether or not to have sex. Since he is not abstaining for any religious reasons I am not sure why there is a debate there. And I am not sure why he is telling me. And somehow the topic turns to "us" and if there will be an "us" in the new year. I have known him for almost 7 years and in that time have had 3 relationships, none with him. Granted none recently but still. You would think by now he would've gotten the hint that I don't want a relationship, at least not with him any ways. I won't bore you with the rest of the conversation but suffice to say he feels hurt and used now. I have tried every way I know how to get him to understand it's not going anywhere and never will. But finally he gets it. So then he said, "At some point we will have to get together to divide stuff."
That alone is very telling.... We weren't a couple. This isn't a divorce. It does however tell me a lot about the nature of the relationship. There certainly wasn't any actual friendship there.. He was simply holding out hope for a romantic relationship that was never going to come. That would be like me giving someone something because they needed it and then because the friendship soured demanding it back. What kind of friend does that?
Also when I filed for bankruptcy I put his name down as one of the creditors so that if something like this happened he couldn't come after me for the money... or even the items. That really just leaves the PC, the camera and a few random household items (like the BBQ I've never used that he got for free from the side of the road.... and a couple of lights). As for the camera he called it a Christmas present while in the store and told me not to open it until Christmas day. So if he wants it back he'll be taking me to small claims court and I will be arguing that it was a gift. The computer is his and rightfully so.
Had he not immediately started on the talk of dividing everything up I would probably feel quite differently. But that definitely made it clear that there was no basis for the friendship and no altruism in his gifts. That he expected something from it and is willing to take back anything he can. Certainly not a true friend. And I can't say that I feel any sort of need to continue on with a "friendship" there.
In fact he wants to come over and pick stuff up. I have a better idea... you show up here and make it into the building and I have you arrested for trespassing. I like that idea. Also makes me think that I should move and change my number. Two problems. For one, I like my apartment. I am wondering what will happen this summer if I can't find a full time job... but will cross that bridge a little later. The other problem is that if (or should I say when) they do a credit check they will discover the bankruptcy so the only way that someone will rent to me is with a cosigner.
Regardless the new year might have started out with a bang but the future does look bright. I might finally get my freedom although I suspect that things will get ugly in the process. What a way to start the new year and the new decade.
Also I could say the same thing to him about not respecting my feelings. For the most part I want to be alone for the holidays. I'm not entirely sure why.... Probably partially because I remember a lot of fights on Christmas as a kid and there are just a lot of things I don't like about the season... materialism... selfishness... all seem the flourish. And of course I feel guilty because I am perpetually poor and can't afford presents. Also at this point I don't even know when my family is doing Christmas. So he wants to do something on Christmas Day (which if I am not with family is usually my do nothing, talk to no one, spend time with Az day) and is mad that I won't give an answer when I am not sure what plans with family are.
I thought I got through to him that I wanted to be left alone....needed to be left alone. He called Christmas eve to wish me a Merry Christmas. I missed the call. So I called Christmas morning to wish him a Merry Christmas. Was hoping I would get the machine but no luck. He tried to invite himself over for Christmas dinner. Are you kidding me? I called my parents to wish them a Merry Christmas and found out that Christmas dinner was the next day (I still wonder if I would've been told had I not called). Still having not too bad a day. And then he calls.... He "needs" the computer. I should also point out that this is 9:45 at night. What on earth do you absolutely need to do at 10 at night that can't wait? I was LIVID. The whole thing just seemed so fishy and he knew (or at least I thought he did) that I wanted to be alone. I truly felt like this was all about him and he was forcing his need to be near people on me. So the entire time he was here (25 minutes) he got the silent treatment.
Skip ahead a few days of blissful silence. Granted he also knew that I had plans on Boxing Day (with family) and on the 27th. He had no idea what I was doing then... which was going to see Avatar (in 3D of course) with a good friend of mine. I knew that silence would come to an end. And sure enough on New Years eve it did. He wanted to come over and I guess it was too much to hope that he would actually make plans ahead of time and not the day of. Now I was also invited out toboganning and to a kegger. I told him that I was thinking about going to the kegger but in the end I caved and agreed to let him come over. I am a glutton for punishment I think. It was my guilt for not spending any time with him. So then a little while later I said I was still thinking about going and he asked if I would take him or go alone. Now this was with college friends and most of the people there I wouldn't even know... a house full of people... and I wasn't dating him. I wouldn't feel right taking someone else. So when I said that he asked if I thought he would embarrass me. Truthfully yes... I mean who wants to bring a 40 year old guy that you are not even dating to a college party....
It gets better though... He asked if I have any plans for the new year. I'm a student... so continue working hard comes to mind... do well in school. And that is where my focus is. So he starts droning on about his plans for the new year and one of the things he said was that he had to decide whether or not to have sex. Since he is not abstaining for any religious reasons I am not sure why there is a debate there. And I am not sure why he is telling me. And somehow the topic turns to "us" and if there will be an "us" in the new year. I have known him for almost 7 years and in that time have had 3 relationships, none with him. Granted none recently but still. You would think by now he would've gotten the hint that I don't want a relationship, at least not with him any ways. I won't bore you with the rest of the conversation but suffice to say he feels hurt and used now. I have tried every way I know how to get him to understand it's not going anywhere and never will. But finally he gets it. So then he said, "At some point we will have to get together to divide stuff."
That alone is very telling.... We weren't a couple. This isn't a divorce. It does however tell me a lot about the nature of the relationship. There certainly wasn't any actual friendship there.. He was simply holding out hope for a romantic relationship that was never going to come. That would be like me giving someone something because they needed it and then because the friendship soured demanding it back. What kind of friend does that?
Also when I filed for bankruptcy I put his name down as one of the creditors so that if something like this happened he couldn't come after me for the money... or even the items. That really just leaves the PC, the camera and a few random household items (like the BBQ I've never used that he got for free from the side of the road.... and a couple of lights). As for the camera he called it a Christmas present while in the store and told me not to open it until Christmas day. So if he wants it back he'll be taking me to small claims court and I will be arguing that it was a gift. The computer is his and rightfully so.
Had he not immediately started on the talk of dividing everything up I would probably feel quite differently. But that definitely made it clear that there was no basis for the friendship and no altruism in his gifts. That he expected something from it and is willing to take back anything he can. Certainly not a true friend. And I can't say that I feel any sort of need to continue on with a "friendship" there.
In fact he wants to come over and pick stuff up. I have a better idea... you show up here and make it into the building and I have you arrested for trespassing. I like that idea. Also makes me think that I should move and change my number. Two problems. For one, I like my apartment. I am wondering what will happen this summer if I can't find a full time job... but will cross that bridge a little later. The other problem is that if (or should I say when) they do a credit check they will discover the bankruptcy so the only way that someone will rent to me is with a cosigner.
Regardless the new year might have started out with a bang but the future does look bright. I might finally get my freedom although I suspect that things will get ugly in the process. What a way to start the new year and the new decade.
Some People Need to Grow Up
There is a story here that I should probably explain. At the beginning of the semester I was trying to be nice to this individual, who I will simply call C. If people from school are reading this they already know the story and who I am referring to. But a few weeks in they did something stupid in lab and I had to report it... not because I wanted to get them in trouble but because we couldn't continue on using the equipment as a result of their mistake. Any ways this person got in my face and started screaming at me, calling me a rat among other things and said they better not lose marks. Let's just say it was loud enough that other people turned around to watch the floor show. Call me crazy but that was the point where I wanted nothing to do with her. Not long after that she was insulting my friends and went as far as calling us all "bitches who think we're better then her." So clearly she doesn't think too highly of me.... and at this point the feeling is mutual. So I was surprised when she asked me to help with her computer... and in sending a picture for the lab report. And kind of annoyed since she had gotten in my face and screamed at me.... and called me a bitch and then wanted help. So no I didn't have anything nice to say. The icing on the cake might have been with the presentations... We had to present to certain faculty members what we did in lab. First of all I should say that she isn't even the one that told me so if she wants to start blaming me for the gossip I didn't start it. And I certainly wasn't the only one telling the story. Any ways... she was so busy looking at her paper that they hid on her. it's mean but it's also kind of funny. I mean how do you not notice someone getting up and leaving? I know there is two sides to every story and according to her I'm the two faced bitch. But I never started this so I honestly don't know where she gets that from. I might have agreed when other people said that she was immature but I didn't go out of my way to be malicious. Now after she called me a bitch then it was no holds barred.
Then came these posts... and clearly she is still continuing on with the hate. Spreading lies about me and trying to get other people to stay away. Which didn't work I might add. Not that it really would have mattered to me. I am largely a loner any ways and am okay with that fact. I am perfectly content to just spend time with Azrael. I get it you hate me. You really don't need to keep announcing that fact. This isn't high school. Grow up and move on....
The reality is that she is actually lucky that I haven't filed a complaint. While she may not actually name me it is clear from the messages that it is about a student. And I have had it confirmed by someone that she wrote to that it is about me. "Just be glad you're not in this class right now. You will get it soon." "I can wait until Monday." Call it intimidation.... or actual threats but regardless it is against the student code of conduct. Not to mention the fact the initial messages were written while on school property.
I probably wouldn't have even said anything since I thought we were going to have very few classes together next semester. Now it looks like she will be in a majority of my classes. I sincerely hope that she can just keep the peace and not cause a lot of drama.
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