Wonders What to Do

I am currently pondering what to do... and not just for the day... but rather I am thinking about my future. I do feel like I am in a great position at the moment. I am free to do whatever I want. In some ways that makes it more difficult. Way too many choices.

I could stay here in Peterborough and try and get something. Recently I applied for a job as an addictions counsellor and one as an employment counsellor. The second one has the most appeal to me. I am starting to see a few jobs that would appeal to me.... but being a small town there aren't as many. And I have never liked Peterborough. I'm not sure what it is but I hated this town when I moved here and I can't say that my feelings have changed all that much. I can count the number of people I like on one hand. The cost of living is high... the crime rate is high... the jobs are all typically low wage....

I could move to Belleville (or Trenton). From the look of it I can rent a two bedroom apartment for the the same price as my current apartment. How sad is that? The drawback there is that I am not sure I really want to go back to another call centre. There is a posting right now for Operations Supervisor and from what I can tell it would be a step up from where I was and be a wise idea if I wanted to pursue a management position at a call centre. But again... is that really what I want to do? Seems to me I would be heading right back into the fire.

Something I have been giving more thought to as of late is moving back to London, ON. Just today I saw that it was rated as the 8th best place in Canada to live. I always did like London. And since it is a bigger city there are more job opportunities. I just saw a job posting there for employment counsellor as well. Plus there were jobs at the University, the hospital, and elsewhere. Again, the price of apartments there are cheaper. I even saw one for a building near where I used to live where they are offering either a free 27" TV, MP3 player (but not an iPod) or 5.1 Megapixel Sony digital camera PLUS if you move in on or before August 1 they are giving you a month's rent free.

There is also the option of relocating elsewhere... somewhere other then Ontario. That one obviously has more challenges, especially if the relocation involves moving to another country. Wonder if I can avoid my loan that way? *lol* Just kidding... But it is an option.

I have no idea what to do... I keep weighing my options and the pros and cons but I'm not sure what the best idea is. Any thoughts or advice are definitely welcome. Or maybe I should just roll a dice and see what happens *lol*

What's Holding You Back?

Most of us have stopped following our dreams at some point along the way and are now just working for a living... often in a job that we don't even really like. I'm not saying I hate my job but it's definitely not what I would call my dream job. I think we can identify reasons why and the following is obviously not a complete list.

Money

The all mighty dollar. Money can play a role on two fronts. For one, we need to be able to pay bills. I've been on welfare and it's not an experience I would want to go back to. But money can also hold us back from following our dreams. Maybe your dream is to open your own business. This takes planning and capital. But at the same time some people never look into what is needed to pursue their dreams and just assume it's not possible.

Fear

It can take courage to follow your dreams. For many there is a fear, especially of failure. So we stay in safety instead of stepping outside the comfort zone. We work that 9 to 5 job and don't take any chances. It's easy to just go with the flow and stay in a job.

Doubt

We may doubt our own abilities... might even have doubts about what it is we really want. And these doubts end up holding us back. Not to say this is my "big rock" but a while back I did have someone ask me why I doubted myself so much. Even though I know I can do the job I do end up second guessing myself.


Past

As Nietzsche said "Man... cannot learn to forget, but hangs on the past: however far or fast he runs, that chain runs with him." It is really easy to use the past as an excuse. It's like a crutch whenever something happens. According to Allwords defintions of the past include: "Referring to an earlier time; over; finished; former; and previous". It's over yet we still cling to it and don't always move forward. I still remember when I was finishing up my time at Western. I had to complete a writing test. I ended up doing so well I got a certificate for writing proficiency. My mom told me, "I always knew you could write." I remember thinking to myself, "Why didn't you ever tell me that? It might have changed what I did with my life." Yes I've always enjoyed writing and maybe knowing that would have changed things... but at the same time... if it was my dream then I have to choose not to let anyone stand in my way.

So my question for you (if you're not following your dreams any ways) is, what is holding you back?