It's All About the Timing

So the last couple of weeks have been pretty rough. I have been fighting Apple to get my computer replaced yet again. The estimate right now is that I will have the new one between July 20th and July 30th. So.... basically I will have been without a working computer for about 8 weeks. Not good.... and I really want it back. I want to banish the PC and go back to my Mac. I really miss it. Plus I have been dealing with the abscess that has sent me to the hospital twice. After 2 weeks the pain finally started to go away and it's now going down in size. But I don't do helpless very well. Needless to say I feel worn out. I feel overloaded and just overwhelmed.

Then on Tuesday I get a call. That's unusual in and of itself *lol* Since it was morning I missed it. But it was my biological mother. She was going to be at the Peterborough zoo on Wednesday and wanted to meet. I was really torn about this. It comes down to timing. I really do want to meet her. But, at the same time, I just wanted to withdraw from the world until I didn't feel quite so overwhelmed. Now I was going to go but when I called to find out the details I just got the answering machine and she did not return my call. So I figured plans had changed. Turns out she did come to Peterborough and I missed it since I was sound asleep.

I'm a little disappointed that I missed out. It's not like I have many opportunities for this. But I am also a little relieved. I already felt like I was fighting with everything. Not exactly the best frame of mind to be meeting someone. Hopefully the next time around I don't have quite so much going on. Who am I kidding? That seems to be the story of my life.

Taking Sarah's Advice

So tonight I took Sarah's advice. While watching the Nascar race I had a hot compress under one arm and the cat under the other. Azrael was doing a great job of keeping me company. Not exactly an exciting evening but it was restful which is exactly what I needed.

Current Events

Life is always an adventure... Yesterday I called tech support again. This time there were no hassles which is new. Pretty quickly the computer was ruled DOA meaning that it will be replaced yet again. I'm still not sure about that decision. I mean it's great that I will get a working computer out of it.... But I am not so enthusiastic about being without the computer yet again. I've already lost a month to this, time I will never get back. I just don't have any fight left in me right now.

I was also back at the hospital last night. The pain has been increasing from the abscess. Unfortunately, the size had not increased so the doctor was still unwilling to drain it. It's been there for a week and is not getting any better. But there is nothing I can do except wait and hope that the antibiotics really do take care of it.

I feel like I am fighting everything and everyone at the moment. Both of these things are taking a huge toll on me and I feel like I am running on empty at the moment. Part of me just wants to completely withdraw and push everyone away. My justification: self-preservation. But I know that escapism isn't the answer. I'm still hoping that things start going well... and soon.

Brutal End to a Brutal Day

So the good news was that I got the MacBook Pro. The bad news was that I also discovered I had another infected abscess. That really took away from the day. This time it was on the right hand side and, of course, since that is my dominant hand I tend to use that arm more often. I was just at the hospital a month ago for this... I really didn't want to go back. But I know what happens if you don't get it taken care of. You end up at the ER crying like a baby when they cut it open. So I was trying to be happy about the MacBook Pro (once I got it working anyways) but was exhausted, in pain, and dreading that trip to the ER. Each time I end up having to go in twice and each visit is about 4 hours.... Not exactly how I wanted to spend the long weekend.

So Friday I make my way down to the ER. When I get there it is packed. So I get through triage and take a seat. 30 minutes later not a single name has been called, either for the fast track or for the non-fast tracked. I did get to see the security guards have to restrain someone after they ripped their IV out. I think it took about 2.5 hours for me to make it to the fast track area. How the hell is this fast tracked? By this point I am developing a REALLY bad migraine. Finally get in to see the doctor and he tells me it's too small to drain and puts me on an antibiotic. Now it's good news that they don't have to surgically drain it. But that also means that I could end up having to go back if it worsens. The other bad news is that they put me on an antibiotic. I have no drug coverage currently and am so broke that I borrowed $20 to cover rent. So then I ended up having to borrow another $25 for the antibiotics.

Finally have something to eat while I take the medication. And the migraine is so bad that I am trying not to vomit. It's pretty rare for the pain to be that bad. I get home and lay down on the futon. I wanted to stay up so I could take another round of the antibiotics before going to bed. But it was pretty brutal. I was dozing off and on. It was also hurting my neck.

And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse.... at 2:00 a.m. the fire alarm goes off. So not what I needed. Splitting headache.... and the alarm is not quiet. So I stumble around to get shoes.... keys... phone.... and then head out the door. Now I run into a guy in the hallway that tells me the alarm was pulled on the 4th floor and shows the alarm. But at least it's quieter outside so I keep going. And I am standing out front when the command post arrives. He asks me how I'm doing. My response, "Better if the alarm wasn't going off." Then 2 fire trucks arrive. But they didn't stay long. This must have been the shortest alarm ever which is good.

Today is a much better day. The migraine is gone. So far today the medication has not made me nauseous. I suspect that will be a short lived thought since it made me feel pretty sick yesterday. Went out and got some sun. Now I am relaxing. I am pretty tired from my lack of sleep Wednesday night... and just a culmination of things so I am taking it easy for the remainder of today... and probably the rest of the weekend too.

What a Week

I got home from the weekend away on Monday. As I mentioned before I came home with a sore throat and congestion. I was also a little tired. I am still battling the congestion. I'm not sure if it's allergies or a cold but it's brutal. My nose is actually raw from blowing it so often. The congestion is also interfering with thought process and making me somewhat miserable.

Tuesday I went to the hospital. They were packed. Fortunately I didn't have to wait for the triage nurse. As I sat down I realized that the batteries in my MP3 player were dead. No music for me. I was there for 3 hours. The doctor took a look at it and said that she could cut it open or could try antibiotics. She did not believe the antibiotics would make a difference... I was already prepared for them to be draining the abscess and have no drug coverage so that was the option I went with. It didn't hurt nearly as much this time but I also hadn't waited until the infection was really bad. Then I found out the batteries were also dead in my cell phone so I couldn't call my ride home. Good thing it's a short walk.

If that wasn't fun enough they wanted me to come back the next day to have it checked out. Just the thought of that makes me cranky. I get there and it took 30 minutes just to get to the triage nurse. I think the heat was making people crazy since it seemed to be loony day there. The lady ahead of me was threatening to harm herself or others. The crisis nurse was super busy and everywhere I went I was hearing these tales of woe. Everyone else seemed to be there with a broken arm. It was theme day in the ER. Now I think that if you have a follow-up visit they should bump you up the line... After all you have already done your time. Instead, it was the 30 minutes I already mentioned while waiting for the triage nurse. Then an hour in the waiting area, followed by 30 minutes waiting for the doctor while in one of the exam rooms. I literally saw the doctor for less then a minute. He checked how it was healing and decided it didn't need to be re-packed. No wonder I am a little bitter. It took 2 hours to see the doctor for about 45 seconds and have a bandaid put on. Plus there was the 30 minutes that it took me to get to the hospital and back. The only good part is that it was a gorgeous day so I got to work on my tan on my travels.

At the moment I am a little crispy. My shoulders are a little red after spending time in the sun every day this week. I should really try and get errands done in the fewest number of trips. But then I really enjoy the time in the sun. I find it to be very therapeutic. Now if only I had some aloe vera or some After Sun.

Rough Morning

I woke up this morning at 8:45 a.m. I am sure that the people who know me had to read that twice. Yes I did say 8:45 a.m. I was a little tired... something about not sleeping in all weekend and not getting the 8-10 hours I am accustomed to. I am currently fighting the urge to have a nap. As an insomniac though I am not supposed to have naps at all. Silly doctors and their advice... something about not being able to sleep that night.

I also woke up this morning with a sore throat. It goes nicely with the congestion I've been battling for a long time now. It is way too nice outside to be sick and fighting something off. Wouldn't be the first time I've had bronchitis this late in the season though... but not quite what I wanted.

Just in case that wasn't enough... the abscess seems to have returned in my armpit. Not exactly a pleasant experience since it hurts to move my arm. It's been 9 months since I had the last one removed but before that I had never had one. Makes me a little concerned. Not to mention the fact the last time they made me cry like a baby. I'm not so enthused about repeating that experience... unless they want to give me good drugs and a security blanket any ways. Then it might be tolerable.

I suppose the good news is that the day isn't going to get worse.... so it can only get better. And once I was up and out of bed it has gotten better. Went out to breakfast and am now relaxing before I go home again. Almost time to see Azrael again and see what damage he has done to the apartment. Looking forward to the peace and quiet and curling up with my baby.

Adventures of the Past Week

This story really began in a previous post and me not sticking it out at the hospital. That was last Tuesday. On Wednesday I was back to work. I spent the last of my laundry money in cab fare to get to work. There was no way I was going to be able to walk there. People have said that the pain was just written all over my face and I was actually white. I could see the infection by this point and could not move my arm. I was really nursing the arm. The lump was pressing on the muscles which is why there was so much pain. I only went to work because I had two meetings to go to that day. I even stuck it out for the entire shift. Then it was back to the ER. I got there around 10:00. For two hours they did not call a single name. The first person waiting to be called had been there for almost 4 hours. Just to make matters worse three of the nurses were called to help the patients that had been admitted. And two of the doctors were going home. They ended up getting the doctors to stay for an extra hour. As expected it was infected. For whatever reason I had developed an abscess that had become infected. They had to cut it open and drain it. Then they had to pack it. That was one of the most painful things I've ever had done. They said they were going to freeze it. So I was under the assumption that I wasn't going to feel anything. Yeah right... Brought me to tears. At least they gave me T3s. After 2.5 hours I was able to go home... But Steve wasn't there to pick me up. I waited a half hour and then decided to just walk home. After all I was hoping to make it to work the next day. Every step I took with my left foot was excruciating because it jarred the whole side of my body. I cried all the way home. the medication kicked in and I went to bed. Too bad it really didn't help me sleep.

So that was the second trip to the hospital. On Thursday I did go to work. I was tired and still in pain but was determined to make it in. This time I did walk to work. After work it was back to the hospital to have the bandages changed. Another hour and a half wait... More pain as they unpacked it and then repacked it. Then they put moleskin all the way around my arm to prevent it from being aggravated. I had limited mobility at that point. Got home and, once again, it was time for bed.

Friday I didn't have to go to the hospital. That was finally some good news. I really didn't want to have to go back. Yet I still went into work, in spite of it all. I'm still not sure if it was dedication or insanity. I wanted to set an example. And I had a job to do. I wanted to make sure it got done.

Saturday more of the same. I walked to work and was starting to feel the pain in my muscles. I woke up with a sore throat as well. For the 4th straight day I did not take any calls. Whenever I was typing I had to take breaks. It was insanely busy so I didn't get to leave on time. I had to wait for my ride. I also helped people get off their calls. So I didn't get home until after 10:00. I had to take the bandages off and remove the packing. That took a really long time. Some of it was slow on account of pain as well. Then it was bedtime since I was going back on day shifts the next day. I didn't even have time for dinner.

Sunday at least I had a ride to work... Although initially he forgot about me. I actually had to call work and tell them I would be late. Then Steve showed up. Now I was back to taking calls. But what's worse then being in pain? Being sick and in pain... As soon as I woke up I was congested beyond belief and could feel it into my ears. My throat was also still sore. I get really irritable when I'm sick. I might have called in sick but I had a coaching session that absolutely had to be done that day.

Monday was finally the last day I had to work. It was a 6 day stretch and I was definitely in need of time off. I got home and was watching TV. I actually managed to fall asleep which is unusual for me. I might have just gone to bed but I knew Steve was stopping by after work. We got in an argument about my student loan. He seems to think I should stop having work automatically deposit my pay cheque and then should default on my student loan. When I know I should qualify for interest relief that doesn't really seem like a good option. Not to mention the impact it has on my credit rating. I jsut stopped listening to him though. He didn't stay long at least.

And now I am still sick but am enjoying a couple of days off. I am not allowing myself to leave... unless I'm heading back to the hospital for antibiotics. It's hard because I have a habit of wandering on my days off. But I really do need to take it easy or this has the potential of being like when I had the flu and it took a LONG time to recover. Needless to say it has been a long week and I think it will be a while before I am back to being 100% (or at least as close to 100% as I ever am).