Short Lived Victory

On Monday Bill 183 finally came into effect. It meant that adoption records were unsealed and adoptees and biological parents could request that information. As I have said before this is something that most people take for granted. But for many who are adopted they have no idea and everything is a mystery. Fortunately, I have had contact with my biological mother but many others have not been so lucky. Unfortunately, just 2 days later the bill was quashed in a superior court on the grounds that it violates the guarantee to individual privacy that is a part of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. The child who was given up for adoption had no choice in the matter. Why are they now being denied the right to find out who they are? Where are their rights? It is not about opening up access to the general public, but only to the parties involved. As much as I don't want to see it even if they put a disclosure veto in so that individuals can request the information not be released. That would still be better then nothing. So the beginning of the week started with a high... and now it brings with it a crushing blow.

It's All About the Timing

So the last couple of weeks have been pretty rough. I have been fighting Apple to get my computer replaced yet again. The estimate right now is that I will have the new one between July 20th and July 30th. So.... basically I will have been without a working computer for about 8 weeks. Not good.... and I really want it back. I want to banish the PC and go back to my Mac. I really miss it. Plus I have been dealing with the abscess that has sent me to the hospital twice. After 2 weeks the pain finally started to go away and it's now going down in size. But I don't do helpless very well. Needless to say I feel worn out. I feel overloaded and just overwhelmed.

Then on Tuesday I get a call. That's unusual in and of itself *lol* Since it was morning I missed it. But it was my biological mother. She was going to be at the Peterborough zoo on Wednesday and wanted to meet. I was really torn about this. It comes down to timing. I really do want to meet her. But, at the same time, I just wanted to withdraw from the world until I didn't feel quite so overwhelmed. Now I was going to go but when I called to find out the details I just got the answering machine and she did not return my call. So I figured plans had changed. Turns out she did come to Peterborough and I missed it since I was sound asleep.

I'm a little disappointed that I missed out. It's not like I have many opportunities for this. But I am also a little relieved. I already felt like I was fighting with everything. Not exactly the best frame of mind to be meeting someone. Hopefully the next time around I don't have quite so much going on. Who am I kidding? That seems to be the story of my life.

Family Ties

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end" This seems to be a really weird time... or at least the last week any ways. It started with dad's announcement about the divorce. Kinda put me into a bit of a tailspin as I am still trying to make sense of it and put the pieces together. As I posted about before it's like a jigsaw.

I talked to mom yesterday and she did know about it. Dad finally called her and while she has not received the letter yet she at least knows about it. I think it bothered her that the kids knew before she did... and rightly so. Again, time will tell what happens. So that is coming to an and and only time will tell what will rise from the ashes. It really does change the family dynamic.

But there is also a new beginning.... both in the relationship with my parents... since if they are not together that will obviously change how I see them and my interactions with them.

There is another new beginning in the works as well. Today I received a letter from my biological mother. Talk about a twist of fate. Have I mentioned yet that my head is just spinning? I feel like I am on overload and just can't process anything any more. I knew as soon as I saw the envelope who it was from. No one ever writes me *lol* I called Suzanne before I even opened it because I knew she would want to know.

Where one thing comes to an end a new door opens. What is behind that door remains to be seen.

Medical History

Today in the mail I got the consent form. I have to mail that back tomorrow. But I also got the medical history. It's pretty basic in the information it provides but it did fill in a few blanks. I'm not going to post the medical history here because I don't think it's fair. This is my family's history and I think some things don't need to be published for the entire world to see. If you really want to know then you can ask. And no Suzanne there wasn't a name on the paperwork. Have to wait a little longer to answer that question.

Pinch Me I Must Be Dreaming

First of all I want to apologize to Suzanne for not calling to tell her about this. I wanted to but never had the chance to. I got home really late.

As you might recall I am adopted and have been looking for information. I got a call back in December from the Adoption disclosure registry which began this leg of the journey but had to wait until January before I actually talked to Linda. That call really shook things up. After almost 10 years with nothing but a hope it seemed like the end just might in sight but I didn't want to get my hopes up. It was still the unknown....

This morning I got another call from Linda. The message said that she had information for me. So I immediately was starting to get my hopes up. But I had to go to work. She called me back as I was almost at work. So what did she want to tell me? Was it a name? Nope. Was it my medical information? Nope. So what was it? Linda called to tell me that my birth mother wanted to meet me. Not only that but apparently she does think about me a lot, especially on my birthday. The only other information that Linda gave me is that she is about my height and has blondish-brown hair. Since my father is Dutch how did my hair end up being so dark?

I am still in shock I think. It definitely hasn't sunk in yet. Linda will be sending me my medical information and will be sending a consent form. The consent form is for disclosing information. It's insane. Talk about a wild ride.

Bill 183

Most people take their identity for granted. They know who they are and who their parents are. They also know (or can find out) their medical history. I'm not that lucky. I was adopted at birth. I have some information but nothing identifying. Bill 183 is supposed to change all that. Adoption records would finally be unsealed and people would be able to access their original birth certificates and identifying information. It is supposed to take effect in September of 2007. Finally some closure... and I can stop wondering.

But there is a problem. There has been a constitutional challenge to the bill. Four applicants believe the law is unconstitutional and is a violation of privacy. They want at minimum a disclosure veto be included. At worst they want the bill to be blocked. It will be before the courts in June. I hope that it will go through so I can finally put the pieces together to my past.

Adoption Disclosure Registry

After playing phone tag with Linda from the Ministry of Community and Social Services I finally got to speak to her today. She was quick to point out that she was from the Adoption Disclosure unit which I already knew. Apparently they found my mother and wanted to confirm some information with me. They actually found her some time ago so the whole thing has been in limbo. They needed to make sure I didn't want to add any additional information in their letter to her. I guess I filled out a survey back in 2003 when they began the search. I don't remember it. So she read off what I had written. Looks good... told her to go ahead with it. She said the contact would be in the next couple of months. I'm not sure how to feel at the moment. On one hand I kind of feel for my biological mother... She is about to get a letter (at least I assume it's a letter) out of the blue. Nothing like being reminded of the child you had 28 years ago. For so long my identity has basically been a big question mark with lots of unknowns. Who am I? What were my parents like? I feel like I am so close... yet still so far away. I may come out of this knowing nothing at all... or I may learn a great deal. It's also reminiscent of Pandora's box. I have no idea what to expect or what truths there are. I do know that it's not a fairytale and am not expecting it to be perfect. The most important thing for me is that I finally get to do what I have said all along. I get the opportunity to say thank you for giving me up, for trying to give me a better life and thinking of my needs first. If that is all that happens I am okay with that.

When the Government Calls

I've decided that whenever someone from the government calls there is a certain amount of paranoia that goes with it, especially when you are not entirely sure why they are calling. Yesterday I was at work and my phone went off. The first time it was just the daily call from a telemarketer. Then it was a 416 number. Then it was Suzanne calling. I finally get a chance to listen to my messages and someone was calling from the Ministry of Community and Social Services. Before you ask I still don't know wht they actually wanted. All I know is that they called Suzanne because the number they had for me was not correct. I suspect that it has to do with my open adoption search. That's the only thing that makes any sense. I'm really curious if they do have new information.... since right now I know virtually nothing. Looks like I'll be waiting until after the holidays to find out though. Sorry Suzanne, still no news on that front.