Call Me a Quitter

I really don't like being called a quitter. It has a negative connotation. And whenever Christie called me a quitter it bothered me... even though she actually meant it in a good way. Today marks the one year anniversary of me quitting smoking.... This is the longest I have made it without nicotine since I started smoking. So now you can call me a quitter and I won't take offense to it. :o)

Zombie Like State

I am definitely remembering why I started smoking again last time. Between being told that I was quite negative and it was a behavioural issue.... which I was told was going to go to management... and the insomnia... I gave up. I think the possibility of losing my job was a pretty good motivation to start smoking again. I never thought that it would save my job. This time around has definitely been better.... But the insomnia is definitely a factor... and it seems to be getting worse. Waking up hourly is not fun at all! So now I am struggling with hoping it gets better and the possibility that I might get some sleep... It's not an easy thing. When you've been waking up pretty much hourly for the last 3 weeks that's rough... all you want is sleep. "Sleep perchance to dream..." Granted it doesn't help when you're an insomniac to begin with. It really seems to compound it. Mind you, other events in the last month are likely playing a role as well. The same day I quit smoking I found out I was likely going to need a bone marrow biopsy. So that has been weighing on me quite a bit as well. I have heard that after a month the insomnia starts to get better. I sure hope so. Would be kind of sad if the reason I start smoking again has nothing to do with craving nicotine but is because I want a good night's sleep. I am comforted by the fact Amy, who quit at the same time, is going through the exact same thing. Not that I would wish this sleeplessness on anyone but at least I'm not alone. The sleeping pills are not helping. maybe I should go with something a little stronger... there's an idea. Maybe not a good one... but it's an idea.

Appetite

For the last couple of weeks I seem to be hungry all the time. And as a result end up feeling lightheaded periodically. Ordinarily I would say that is a good thing. But I'm not gaining any weight. I don't have the opportunity to eat 5 meals a day either. That's about what it would take. So now I am wondering if it's my metabolism or an issue with my thyroid. This seems to be a new development. It would be nice if I actually gained some weight in this process.

Take today for example. I slept in, like usual so no chance of breakfast. Aside from weekends when I sleep until noon I'm not sure I ever have breakfast. So that's not unusual. Then off to the dentist. Through the course of the day I had 3 cans of Coke. I had a sandwich partway through the day with cold cuts, bacon, cheese and lettuce. When I got home I had a bacon wrapped chicken breast, rice and corn. I was still hungry so I made myself a Carnation Instant Breakfast. But I am still hungry. Too lazy to make anything now since I'll be going to bed shortly. But I don't get it. Why am I still hungry? There were times when I still lived on Hunter St that the only meal I had was dinner. Now that didn't happen all that often. At least there were times I actually felt full there. It kind of sucks to be hungry all the time. If you've got any ideas I am open to suggestions.

I do realize that it might be related to the fact I quit smoking. So I don't have the nicotine acting as an appetite suppresent. But I was going through this before I actually quit smoking. That just didn't help me. Like I said, I am open to suggestions.... as long as they're not way out in left field, or involve seafood any ways.

How Does Zyban Work?

What is Zyban?

Zyban is a nicotine-free pill prescribed to help a patient stop smoking. It is prescription medicine available only from your healthcare professional for smokers 18 and older.

Zyban is also used to relieve symptoms of depression and to treat Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in children.

Zyban is manufactured by Glaxo Smith Kline and sold as Wellbutrin, Wellbutrin SR and Zyban SR. Zyban is also called bupropion hypochloride.

How does Zyban Work?

Researchers believe that Zyban interacts with the brain's neurotransmitters to reduce craving and the effects of withdrawal from nicotine addiction. The active ingredient, bupropion, is a relatively weak inhibitor of the neuronal uptake of dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine. Zyban can be combined with nicotine replacement therapy like patches or gum.

Bupropion is a medicine that was first developed to treat depression. It was found that it helped smokers to stop smoking. It is not clear how it works. It alters the level of some chemicals in the brain (neurotransmitters). This seems to relieve the withdrawal symptoms that you get when you stop smoking (such as craving, anxiety, restlessness, headaches, irritability, hunger, difficulty with concentration, or just feeling awful).

Side Effects:

It has been suggested that bupropion and SSRIs may cause depression to worsen and even lead to suicide in a small number of patients. These potential side effects are difficult to evaluate in depressed patients because depression can progress with or without treatment, and suicide is itself a consequence of depression. Moreover, the evidence supporting these potential side effects is weak. Therefore, no conclusions can yet be drawn about the relationship between bupropion and SSRIs and worsening depression and suicide. Until better information is available, patients receiving bupropion or SSRIs should be monitored for worsening depression and suicidal tendencies.

100 Hours

I am now at 100 hours without nicotine. I am definitely not going to say it's been easy because it hasn't been. They say you should reduce your stress level before you quit smoking to make it easier to deal with the symptoms of withdrawal. Hmm... guess I missed that part of it since my stress level is almost at an all time high right now. On top of that I am currently working days. I tend to be more tired on the day shift, especially now that I am in my second week of days. I remember from the last time when I tried to quit cold turkey your sleep patters really get disrupted. Like I needed more fatigue. Then there is the anxiety, irritability, dizziness, and the ADHD tendencies. And since my body is still healing it also feels like I have a cold as my lungs start to heal. And I haven't even mentioned the cravings. Good times let me tell you. Now I am fully aware that it is for the best and will help me in the long run. That doesn't really make it easier though. I know it's not the cigarette that I am craving... it's the coping mechanism and the stress relief that it provides. I know it's temporary and I just have to wait it out. The Zyban definitely makes it easier... but there are still times I really want to go back to it.