Zombie Like State

I am definitely remembering why I started smoking again last time. Between being told that I was quite negative and it was a behavioural issue.... which I was told was going to go to management... and the insomnia... I gave up. I think the possibility of losing my job was a pretty good motivation to start smoking again. I never thought that it would save my job. This time around has definitely been better.... But the insomnia is definitely a factor... and it seems to be getting worse. Waking up hourly is not fun at all! So now I am struggling with hoping it gets better and the possibility that I might get some sleep... It's not an easy thing. When you've been waking up pretty much hourly for the last 3 weeks that's rough... all you want is sleep. "Sleep perchance to dream..." Granted it doesn't help when you're an insomniac to begin with. It really seems to compound it. Mind you, other events in the last month are likely playing a role as well. The same day I quit smoking I found out I was likely going to need a bone marrow biopsy. So that has been weighing on me quite a bit as well. I have heard that after a month the insomnia starts to get better. I sure hope so. Would be kind of sad if the reason I start smoking again has nothing to do with craving nicotine but is because I want a good night's sleep. I am comforted by the fact Amy, who quit at the same time, is going through the exact same thing. Not that I would wish this sleeplessness on anyone but at least I'm not alone. The sleeping pills are not helping. maybe I should go with something a little stronger... there's an idea. Maybe not a good one... but it's an idea.