Professionalism & Transparency in Corporate Culture

I had to call tech support. I think I'll just give the breakdown of the call before making comments on it.

Agent: Thanks for calling Apple, my name is Wayne can I get your first name?
Me: Heather
Agent: Phone number?
Me: _______
Agent: And how are you today?
Me: I'm fine.... I'd be better if we had power right now but it gives me a chance to call in
Agent: Yeah our power already came back on. Weird that yours hasn't yet. You know who this is right?
Me: Mmm hmmm
Agent: Previous case?
Me: No
Agent: And you're calling about your computer?
Me: Yes, my MacBook Pro
Agent: What can... oh wait
Me: Yes you might need the serial number... Provides the serial number
Agent: What's going on?
Me: It's quite warm to the touch. In fact I can't touch it because it's that hot. I'm concerned that it's going to burn me again. I already have a burn mark on my leg from it. I had picked it up off the table and put it on my lap temporarily. That was a month ago and you can still see the burn mark on my leg. I notice it most on the left hand side and on the bottom towards the back.
Agent: Confirms the issue
Agent: So what are you up to these days?
Me: Well I am on EI now
Agent: I heard what happened... from the rumours. I'm sorry about that.
Me: It's all about the rumour mill. I'm okay with it. It was probably for the best.
Agent: Yeah this place can get stagnant after a while.
Me: Yeah... You know... I am thinking I should have got pictures of the burn mark on my leg
Agent: Yeah that would have been good to have,
Agent: Well I haven't seen any Bullet*News on this subject. Let me just contact IRC and see what they have to say. More then likely they'll just say to take it into a service provider.
Me: Well maybe this should be escalated by voice since it's already burned me
Agent: yeah good idea. Let me just change my notes and classifications here. Possible fire hazard. So if you don't mind holding I'll contact a product specialist.
Agent then transfers me.... The product specialist asked me two questions. He asked me if I had required medical attention which I didn't. I try to avoid the Peterborough hospital at all costs. The other question was about property damage. Since there wasn't I was told to turn the computer off, not use it and take it in to an AASP as soon as possible to have it looked at.

I'm speechless. I don't even know where to begin on that one. And that is unusual for me. *lol* Let's start with procedures. The word "burn" is a safety word... especially since I indicated it was hot enough to burn my flesh already. Do you want a lawsuit? No... then transfer the damn call immediately. For anyone keeping track that is now a failed call. Safety is huge! IRC and Bullet*News are internal words and should not be relayed to the customer. The only reason I was asked for the serial number is because my original MacBook Pro was replaced already. No hold time was given. So if I were listening to this call they wouldn't be doing so hot.

But the kicker... and the shocking one is the clear lack of transparency. Yes I do know this person but it wasn't even all that well. So accentuating the fact he knew me right off the bat made me somewhat uncomfortable. But asking me what I am doing now was not appropriate. Even more so was telling me he heard what happened from the rumours. How am I supposed to reply to that? Then to go on and say that the job can get pretty stagnant. I didn't feel that way. I don't feel that way. But I don't want to answer as to why I am no longer there and how I was fired. I'm calling in about my computer and I don't like being put in a position where I am giving my opinion on what happened and the company as a whole. I want to be treated like a customer and I really don't feel that happened. As a result, the rest of the call has now been called into question. And I really don't want to call tech support ever again. It made me that uncomfortable. When I call tech support I certainly don't expect to be put in that position. Also makes me think twice about Apple if this is what I can expect when I call in for help.

When it Rains it Pours

In this case literally. Today has been a day of severe thunderstorms. Azrael wasn't sure what to make of the thunder. At one point he was hiding underneath the futon. Then once it had cleared up he curled up on me and went to sleep. I was just about to start laundry when the power went out. About an hour later the power came back on. So I took my laundry downstairs and all the washers were full. I figure people probably had to redo their laundry since the cycles had stopped with the power outage. I was bringing my clothes back upstairs when the power went out again. Even the emergency lights went out. I was in the stairwell at the time and couldn't see anything. So I stopped on the third floor and fortunately there was a guy right there that was moving out. His front door was open allowing light in. His friend was going to try and help me get back to the 5th floor but the flashlight didn't work. The lights came back on pretty quickly. So at 6:00 I tried to do laundry again. Once again all the washing machines were in use. This is just getting frustrating. It takes a lot out of me to take a load of laundry downstairs and I am running out of time. They lock the doors at 10:00. Hopefully I can get the laundry done tonight. I've already taken out the recycling, taken out the garbage and vacuumed the floor. I'd like to get the laundry and the dishes done too. Then I would be able to take it easy tomorrow afternoon before I head out to a friends. It's also too bad the rain doesn't seem to be cooling things down. It's still over 80 degrees here and really humid. Ick.

Emotional Response Based on Previous Experience

Today got me thinking about conditioned responses. Obviously my day started off with the fire alarm. In my old building the alarm went off pretty frequently. So the assumption was that it was a false alarm. It did not bring with it a rush of adrenaline or any strong concern that it might be real. It was seen as nothing more then a nuisance. And I would go outside just in case it was real. A year ago tomorrow the alarm went off in the building. At first I thought it was just another false alarm. Turns out it was a real fire. It changes you... even though it wasn't a serious fire. But it's also about the context. I was still working in the old building and the alarm would go off but I wouldn't react to it. My mind still associated it with a false alarm. Whereas if I was at home the adrenaline would kick in and my mind would go into overdrive. The fear would kick in about whether or not there was a real fire and whether or not I would make it out of the building. The last time around the smoke was filling the stairwell and I had trouble breathing from about the third floor on. It's interesting how the mind works and how we condition ourselves to respond to the environment around us with repeated exposure to the same stimuli.

Takes Your Breath Away

The smog that is. What am I doing out in the smog you might ask? Well the fire alarm is what got me out of bed... Granted it was noon so I can't really complain about the time. So I decided since I was going to be outside and working on my tan any ways I might as well make use of the time. After all if it is a false alarm then I will be outside for about 30 minutes and if it's real then it will be hours. So off I go.... The cloud was just gray and the air was thick. I had trouble breathing. But I got the few items I needed and then returned home again. Home to a hot, humid apartment. Can't breathe in it either. I was planning to buy an air conditioner with my tax return so that I wouldn't have to rely on Steve's sense of timing. Then I had no job and paying bills was more important. So now I am waiting.... and hoping he comes through soon.

Morning Ritual

This morning was like most other mornings. Shortly after I woke up Azrael was right there curling up beside me. He wanted his morning dose of love and adoration. As he is nestled in beside me I realize that what he wants is just that sense of touch. What is it about the sense of touch? It is reassuring. It is therapeutic. It's about love.

I think that everyone longs for that sense of touch... even the people that seem to flinch when you touch them. Everyone craves that sense of touch. We want to be reassured. We want to be loved. And there is just something therapeutic about the touch of another.

I have to draw some of my examples from a cat. But I have seen how he responds to touch. Azrael will wag his tail when he's happy. His face just lights up. And he comes running to me. He doesn't always want me to pet him. Sometimes he just wants to be held. It's not just humans that respond to the sense of touch. Azrael does as well. Right now he is holding my hand.

We all need someone to hold us, reassure us, or even just give us a pat on the back every once in a while. Speaking of a therapeutic touch I am long overdue for a visit with the chiropractor.

Quiet Day

Today was a quiet day. I finally took it easy and rested. I am so used to having all kinds of things to do and felt like I should be making work for myself. Instead I ended up finishing the book You, Inc. which I recommend to anyone that struggles with making an impression and wants to be able to sell themselves. I mean, we all sell ourselves to other people.... The book is teaches you how to do it better. And it seems I should not have looked at Amazon for it.... I could have got it for $10 less then what I paid at Chapters. Even the shipping would not account for the difference.

Now while I was trying to read that Azrael pulled his usual trick of curl up on mommy since she makes a good pillow. Next thing I know he's sprawled out across my stomach and arm. And he was lying on his back so he just looked super cute and adorable. Who could resist that face. Took him two hours to decide that whatever was going on outside might be fun and he should investigate that. He does a fantastic job of ensuring that I rest and relax on occasion. As a side note I weighed him the other day. Azrael is now up to 15 pounds. He's a big boy and I think he is feeling the heat in the apartment since he's even more lazy then usual. Can't say I blame him since it's about 80 degrees in here.

Life in the Ghetto

Back to life in the ghetto. No bugs any more which is a plus. But the heating and air quality is still a big issue. Right now the humidity is around 55%. I have turned the heat off but since I have very little control over it the heat is still at 80 degrees. That is with the balcony door wide open and the bedroom window open as well. I've given up on the heat ever being fixed. All I can hope for is that Steve brings me an air conditioner soon so that I can cool the place down. The heat is causing the Fibromyalgia to flare up.

The people above me are also throwing stuff off the balcony. Cigarette butts are bad for a number of reasons. For one if they are still lit someone could get burnt. Even without that I take Azrael outside and really don't want him eating them. Toxic chemicals aren't good for humans.... they're also not good for cats. On Tuesday, just before I went to the hospital, I looked outside in time to see my balcony get soaked with a bucket of water. That was the last straw. I went down to complain. After all, I could've been outside and gotten wet. More importantly, I could've been outside with the MacBook Pro. I have a right to take the computer outside without worrying about what someone else is going to throw off their balcony.

I don't think I have had so many issues in an apartment as I do here. I like the layout here but they certainly don't repair things in an efficient manner. I try and avoid the superintendents at all costs. There are two reasons I don't want to move. For one, I definitely don't have first and last. I have already had to put off getting my tattoo until I have an actual job again. Secondly, I do not want to get stuck in another lease. It frees up more options by not being locked in a lease. But for the price I pay here I would expect a little more.

What a Week

I got home from the weekend away on Monday. As I mentioned before I came home with a sore throat and congestion. I was also a little tired. I am still battling the congestion. I'm not sure if it's allergies or a cold but it's brutal. My nose is actually raw from blowing it so often. The congestion is also interfering with thought process and making me somewhat miserable.

Tuesday I went to the hospital. They were packed. Fortunately I didn't have to wait for the triage nurse. As I sat down I realized that the batteries in my MP3 player were dead. No music for me. I was there for 3 hours. The doctor took a look at it and said that she could cut it open or could try antibiotics. She did not believe the antibiotics would make a difference... I was already prepared for them to be draining the abscess and have no drug coverage so that was the option I went with. It didn't hurt nearly as much this time but I also hadn't waited until the infection was really bad. Then I found out the batteries were also dead in my cell phone so I couldn't call my ride home. Good thing it's a short walk.

If that wasn't fun enough they wanted me to come back the next day to have it checked out. Just the thought of that makes me cranky. I get there and it took 30 minutes just to get to the triage nurse. I think the heat was making people crazy since it seemed to be loony day there. The lady ahead of me was threatening to harm herself or others. The crisis nurse was super busy and everywhere I went I was hearing these tales of woe. Everyone else seemed to be there with a broken arm. It was theme day in the ER. Now I think that if you have a follow-up visit they should bump you up the line... After all you have already done your time. Instead, it was the 30 minutes I already mentioned while waiting for the triage nurse. Then an hour in the waiting area, followed by 30 minutes waiting for the doctor while in one of the exam rooms. I literally saw the doctor for less then a minute. He checked how it was healing and decided it didn't need to be re-packed. No wonder I am a little bitter. It took 2 hours to see the doctor for about 45 seconds and have a bandaid put on. Plus there was the 30 minutes that it took me to get to the hospital and back. The only good part is that it was a gorgeous day so I got to work on my tan on my travels.

At the moment I am a little crispy. My shoulders are a little red after spending time in the sun every day this week. I should really try and get errands done in the fewest number of trips. But then I really enjoy the time in the sun. I find it to be very therapeutic. Now if only I had some aloe vera or some After Sun.

Am I Really Home?

So I get home and am greeted by the sounds of a kid screaming and crying.... I started to wonder if I was really home or if I was just living in some twilight zone at the moment. Get to the door and then hear Azrael start crying. Yep I am really home. I get in the door and he keeps going. Azrael is not a happy cat. So I pick him up like a child and was carrying him around the apartment. You'd think he was my baby or something. Get him calmed down and fed. He seems to be happy.... Or maybe not. He just hissed at me and bit me. The biting I am used to. He never hisses. But I think that was actually because of the static build-up in my shirt. I think I might have just shocked him. It's not because he is still mad at me. Cats have an extremely short attention span so he has already forgotten that I left him for 3 days. And I have decided that I really should leave him a little more often.... I can count the number of times I have left him in the last 3 years on both hands. That's kind of scary and tells you I have no life.

Every parent... or anyone that works with kids will probably get a kick out of the second half of this. My desktop picture is of Azrael and over the weekend I changed it. I know I am just such a rebel. When you're interacting with kids your vocabulary tends to change and you start pointing things out. The 2 year old really liked pictures of the cat and would constantly point to it. So I get home an set up the computer (and in case anyone is wondering I really did put everything else away first). Azrael hops up on the couch and what do I do? I start pointing to the screen saying, "Who's that on the screen? Is that you Azrael?" And then I caught myself.... It would've been even scarier if I had got any kind of answer out of him. But now back to the real world and the fact I do not have a child... and while Azrael may be my baby (and I do have great conversations with him at times... cheap therapy bills) I really don't need to point to the screen and say "Cat" now. *LMAO*

Little People

So I was visiting a friend of mine and her family for the weekend. That included 2 kids. Anyone that knows me knows that I don't do so well with kids. But I swear they are like cats who seem to be attracted to the people that are allergic. *lol* Okay so I am not allergic to kids but I never really did the whole babysitting thing and while I did look after 2 kids every morning that was a very short lived gig. I was always scared that someone was going to get hurt or that they wouldn't stop crying no matter what I did. But the kids love me. It's kind of weird. But someone said that children are the truest judge of character. So I guess that's a good thing.

Rough Morning

I woke up this morning at 8:45 a.m. I am sure that the people who know me had to read that twice. Yes I did say 8:45 a.m. I was a little tired... something about not sleeping in all weekend and not getting the 8-10 hours I am accustomed to. I am currently fighting the urge to have a nap. As an insomniac though I am not supposed to have naps at all. Silly doctors and their advice... something about not being able to sleep that night.

I also woke up this morning with a sore throat. It goes nicely with the congestion I've been battling for a long time now. It is way too nice outside to be sick and fighting something off. Wouldn't be the first time I've had bronchitis this late in the season though... but not quite what I wanted.

Just in case that wasn't enough... the abscess seems to have returned in my armpit. Not exactly a pleasant experience since it hurts to move my arm. It's been 9 months since I had the last one removed but before that I had never had one. Makes me a little concerned. Not to mention the fact the last time they made me cry like a baby. I'm not so enthused about repeating that experience... unless they want to give me good drugs and a security blanket any ways. Then it might be tolerable.

I suppose the good news is that the day isn't going to get worse.... so it can only get better. And once I was up and out of bed it has gotten better. Went out to breakfast and am now relaxing before I go home again. Almost time to see Azrael again and see what damage he has done to the apartment. Looking forward to the peace and quiet and curling up with my baby.

Call Me a Quitter

I really don't like being called a quitter. It has a negative connotation. And whenever Christie called me a quitter it bothered me... even though she actually meant it in a good way. Today marks the one year anniversary of me quitting smoking.... This is the longest I have made it without nicotine since I started smoking. So now you can call me a quitter and I won't take offense to it. :o)

Lessons Learned?

So after being away for a couple of days there have been a few lessons that I have learned. Now I may be expanding on this list since I am still not home.

1. Using Coke (the drink, not the white powder... although I suspect the white powder would not work either) to regulate hypoglycemia is NOT a good idea
2. Along with #1, I really need to cut out Coke or at least cut back on it
3. Mornings and I do not get along, although not so much because I'm nocturnal and mornings involve daylight... but because I run out of things to do and get bored or agitated
4. The mood swings associated with low blood sugar are easily misattributed and quite often not treated properly with sugar
5. It's tough to rely on other people for when to eat meals because by the time I am light headed it's a little late
6. I always need something to do... I really do NOT know the meaning of the word "relax"

Notice that most of these are related to the hypoglycemia.... Lessons I should have learned a long time ago but haven't. Maybe now I will learn... maybe... I am stubborn you know.

Fireworks

I am currently out of town at the moment for the long weekend. I am visiting a good friend of mine and her family. It's really nice to have the time away. I call it a mini vacation... which is weird since it's defintely not quiet with 2 kids in the household. But then my normal life is super quiet. Less stress here and sometimes it is just nice to get away. Tonight was the fireworks show. I haven't seen fireworks in about 10 years now. It brought with it mixed emotions. On one hand it was nice to see a family that got along and came together for this. But, on the other hand, I felt like an outsider looking in. I didn't feel like I belonged there. And it has left me with feelings of loneliness. Maybe it's a trend for us adopted children... but there really are some deep seeded issues of feeling like you just don't belong. Maybe you never do get over the rejection. Even now I am surrounded by other people and want to be alone. I don't want anyone to see the emotions running just below the surface.... or be reminded that this is not my life and my family and I really am on the outside peering through the glass.

Away for the Weekend

I am writing this from a location other then my apartment. That is kind of new. I am not at home and will not be home all weekend. I am taking advantage of the long weekend to spend some time with a friend of mine and her family. I am looking forward to the time away and I am sure that Azrael will be just fine without me. I'll be fine as long as I don't get eaten by the black flies.

Conspiracy Theories

What do you do when the conspiracy turns out to be true? I am left with that dilemma at the moment. It was much nicer to be in denial and to think it was all in my head. I am having trouble wrapping my head around this. Maybe this is because I have integrity and want to believe that other people have ethics and are honest. I am definitely learning that isn't the case. Sorry I can't really explain at the moment... just a difficult situation all the way around and I am venting.

Bugs, Bugs, Bugs

Talk about an interesting beginning to the week. On Monday I went to do laundry... Okay so that is not all that unusual. And then I realized that I had a bug problem. I wanted someone else to come take a look at it so I went on with my laundry. Turns out it was a bigger problem then I thought and I likely had a bed bug infestation. Any idea how hard it is to find a pesticide to get rid of them? We were all over town on the lookout. The first one that came to mind was Raid but their web site did not list bed bugs at all. In the end we did find a Raid that can be used on bed bugs. Time to fumigate the apartment. Even with the door to the bedroom shut I could still smell the stuff from the living room. I was also concerned about Azrael. We tried to get him into the cat carrier to take him out onto the balcony but he was having none of that. I have never seen the ball of fury until now. He managed to draw blood from Steve as well. So in the end I got half the cat harness on him and the leash and took him outside. 2 bottles of Raid later and all the clothes that had either been exposed to the bugs or to the Raid were in garbage bags to be washed. By about 2:00 a.m. I was able to go to bed. The next day I ended up doing something like 14 loads of laundry and went shopping for a mattress cover. The entire experience will end up costing about $200 and I lost two days. I am still concerned about Azrael's health since while I am not about to lick anything that was in my room he just might. Plus I have to hope that I really did get rid of them and, from what I've read, bed bugs are persistent. Might need to have a professional exterminator in. Fortunately, the apartment will pay for that. Unfortunately, it means that I will have to find somewhere else to sleep for a couple of days. It also means I would have to find somewhere for Azrael during that time. And I have no idea what the lasting effects of those chemicals would be on Azrael. Here's to hoping that they are completely gone.... and not coming back.

EI-EI-OH

I finally got my decision from EI and can now breathe a huge sigh of relief. They approved my claim. So at least now I know I have an income. Now they don't pay enough to stay on it very long but it will do for now. Gives me a little more breathing room. I got the money on Saturday. After I paid the bills I had and went shopping most of it is already gone. Didn't take long. But it's not really a surprise since I have been out of work since mid March.

The only downside is that the week I was fired I worked one day. As a result they don't count that week as part of the two weeks. So basically I was not paid for 3 weeks in there so the money I got was $300 shorter then I thought it would be. I just have to work around that and hopefully find a way to bring in some additional income since I'm already bringing in about $400 less/month then my net pay from work.

Noise Cancelling Headphones

I have really been struggling with some of those decisions that I just mentioned. Now if I were in isolation and just thinking through the decisions it would probably be easier. But I don;t live in a vacuum and almost everyone has their opinion and wants to give their two cents. I feel like it has just muddied the waters and I feel like there is just too much noise. It's almost like I need those expensive headphones that cancel out the noise... Just block everything out. Or I guess if I could just filter through the comments and what other people have to say that would be nice. Just listen to the voices in my head. I don't need other voices invading *lol*

Do I Stay or Do I Go?

Ever since I was fired I have been faced with a number of decisions.... We all make hundreds of decisions a day so that is not a big deal. But some of them are big decisions and require a great deal of thought.

The first decision is whether or not to stay in Peterborough. I've never been crazy about this city. I only moved here because I was homeless and needed somewhere to live. Maybe it is time to move on.

PROS

• I already live here
  
• Relocating is not cheap
• I have friends in the area
• More time consuming to look or jobs in other areas
  

CONS

• Smaller job market
• It's Peterborough
• Apartment rentals are more expensive here then elsewhere
  

The second decision that I have to make is whether or not to return to school in September. If I get turned down for EI then this decision will already be made for me. But otherwise I am considering trying to get EI to help pay for retraining so I can get my Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology.

PROS

• Finally get my masters
• Would only take 20 months
• Would not have to move to complete the course since it is all online
• Can still work full time
  
• Higher income upon completion
• Networking during the practicum
• EI will pay at least part of the costs... so it would hopefully not increase my student loans
  

CONS

• Still have to pay part of the costs to show commitment
• Not including the cost of books it costs $20,000
  
• Need two references and since I was fired from my last job I will likely not be able to get one from there, as much as my manager might have liked me
• Would prolong my ability to apply for debt reduction with my student loan although with the run around I get there I likely won't qualify any ways

Another big decision is probably the toughest. Do I want to pursue just another day job or wait for one that could actually be a career? I already know that I don't want to go to another call centre but there are other jobs that I would not necessarily enjoy (i.e. administrative assistance) but would pay the bills. This time the pros are for waiting for a career

PROS

• More focused job search
• Would be going to job that I actually wanted to go to
• Not caught in the same trap that I was in before
• Can spend the time on healing and just enjoying life again

CONS

• $$$
• Medical Benefits
• Time

The last decision ties in with the one above. Do I want to work for someone else or do I want to eventually end up working for myself. I am scared of taking a chance and risking it all to be an entrepeneur but there are certain advantages. It would give me a chance to pursue a job as a coach.

PROS

• Make your own schedule
• Choose your own clients
• I love being a coach
• Work for yourself
• Only you limit yourself
• Up and coming job field
  

CONS

• Takes time to build up clients
• Costs money
• I know nothing about business and the legal side of things
  

Only two of them are really difficult choices. The decision to relocate really comes down to the job and the situation. If it pays enough and is a job that I want to move for then it's an easy decision. Friends can always visit me elsewhere and aside from the initial cost of relocating it is cheaper to live in other cities. As far as school goes if I can make it happen it's a great opportunity. I highly doubt that I would qualify for debt reduction any ways so that is just a minor consideration. The big one is the job hunt and the decisions to be made there. Obviously I don't enjoy being unemployed and broke. But I don't necessarily want to get a job just for the sake of having a job and a steady income. I already made that mistake. Decisions decisions... Can I have some easier decisions please?

Friends, Foes & Family

This week has brought with it people from all three categories. There are certain people that I enjoy talking to and it has been great to hear from them. They keep me focused and are a positive force. We all need these people. They recharge our batteries instead of draining them.

But it has also been a week of foes. There are also people that I don't even want to talk to or think about. Talk about negative energy. One person in particular is a hindrance even though they see themselves as helpful. This person always has to share their opinion and two cents but it's not about what is best for you... It's what benefits them.

Today it was all about family. Mom called and invited me out to my aunt's. My cousin Mark was going to be there before heading out to Singapore. I hadn't seen him since I left London and I hadn't seen my aunt in a long time either. Part of me was dreading it.... If it wasn't for Mark I highly doubt that I would've gone. When mom picked me up I was quickly debating my decision. But it turned out to be a nice visit, for the most part. Mom and I are always going to have a rocky relationship. Family is still important and it was good to spend some time with them.

Student Loan: Finally Some Good News

Bank error in your favour... collect $200. Oh wait this isn't Monopoly. So I got a call from my caseworker about my student loan. I really do need to call him back. Looks like the bank did make a mistake and miscalculated how many months of interest relief I had really used. Those must have been good drugs to lose 6 months. So my interest relief has been approved. The appeal only took 3 months this time instead of 5. That means that I will not have to make any payments until August. It also means that I should be able to get back the money I paid to the bank. That means $657 coming back to me.... money I can definitely use right about now although it will take 3 weeks. And that's not all. The negative scores that were put on my credit report due to non-payment are all being removed. FINALLY!!! And in July if I am still not making enough money to pay my loan I can look at applying for extended interest relief and then I would have up to 24 months where I do not have to make payments and the government pays for the interest. Hopefully I can actually find a job where I can make the payments since I really want to get it paid off... but at least now I don't have to worry about it for a few months. YAY!!!!!!!!!!

Raining... But Inside the Apartment

I was sitting around trying to find something online on my other computer when I hear what sounds like rain. Okay no big deal right? We were under a severe thunderstorm warning and it was raining earlier. The only problem? I wasn't hearing the sound of water falling from my balcony or the side of the apartment where I would expect to hear it if it really was raining. No I am hearing it from the entrance of my apartment. Not such a good thing. I did a quick tour of the apartment and don't see any leaks. Then I opened the front door and sure enough it looks like it's raining in the hallway. I venture outside, getting a bit wet in the process to go bang on the supers door. And at 11:00 at night I am sure he was really happy to be investigating the downpour in the hallway. I go back inside and realize that there is also a small leak in the apartment and the front area (which fortunately is one of the only areas that is not carpeted) is now covered in water as it is coming down from the ceiling and is also coming in under the door. I check and none of the closets have water leaking into them. So at least it is contained to one small area. As it turns out the people that live above me own an apartment size washer and dryer. They overfilled it and this is the result. Now I have a towel down soaking up the water and get to listen to the drip for a while. Azrael is entertained... He is currently lying down watching the door, as if there is something to see. Did I mention that I live in the ghetto? *lol*

The Waiting Game

EI typically takes 28 days to process a claim. According to the web site a decision should be made by May 7. So May 7th came and went and no decision was made. Today I finally decided to call them to try and get more information. I was told that it now takes about 5 weeks to process the claim and it would not be finalized until May 15th. Right now I have $1.88 in my bank account. Needless to say that means no grocery shopping, no bills are being paid, and no medication is being bought to try and fight off this allergic reaction, or at least control the itchiness of it. And that means waiting yet another week for them to make a decision. Talk about anxiety, especially since they can still say no. And until they say no I can't apply for Welfare. I still have about $500 that I can withdraw from my RRSPs although now that they know I have been terminated I am not sure how accessible the money is since they are supposed to be sending me paperwork to transfer the funds to another RRSP. But I don't want to withdraw that money for two reasons. For one, it was supposed to be for my future and retirement and I have already taken out about $5000. Secondly, if EI turns me down then I am going to need that money to put towards rent. I don't know what to do. Something has to change.

Maybe the Student Loan Center Should Just Hire Me

After talking to the case worker about my student loan I am beginning to think they should just hire me. Now the first comment to be made is that I now have my own case worker in Ottawa. He is looking into the appeal that I made and even made reference to the letter I wrote to the minister of Human Resources and Social Development. Apparently it got notice. He believes the Royal Bank made a mistake and has short changed me for the 5 months of interest relief. But was not sure that there was much he could do. His advice was to reapply for interest relief since I am not unemployed. I had already done that. At most I would have to either pay for February or pay the capitalized interest. I may be able to qualify for extended interest relief which extends it for up to 24 months or until you have been out of school for 5 years, whichever comes first. He is still looking into it and will get back to me next week. So maybe, just maybe, there will be some good news on the horizon. Might even get some of that money back from the bank.

Employment Insurance Update

Looks like the government is taking their sweet time to decide if I qualify for employment insurance. When you apply they say it will take about 28 days to make a decision. On Monday 28 days will have passed. I am a little on the anxious side about the decision. I currently have about $2 in my bank account and the bills are starting to pile up. So far none of my bills have been late but with no income it makes me a little uneasy. I'm counting more and more on EI but there is still the possibility that they can deny the claim since I was fired. I just want a decision to be made. Ideally I would like to get the EI so that I have money coming in and can get my bills caught up. Hopefully on Monday they really do make a decision.

Allergies?

One of these days I just might head back to the hospital. I keep developing hives, especially on my neck and arms. It's been happening since early March. At first I thought it was being caused by something in the water since I would get really itchy when in the shower. And it still could be something in the water. But it could also be related to the fact Azrael is shedding a lot of furr since it's spring time. As an indoor cat I never thought he would be shedding this much. It's not just hives either. I am really congested and going through about half a box of Kleenex a day. More recently I've also noticed that my eyes have been watering... or now are dry and painful. I took Benadryl at one point for it. I have no idea if it helped or not since I just felt completely stoned. I could probably take it at night but I need something for during the day. I'm also wondering if that is why I am so tired.... It could be related to my body fighting off some sort of allergy. I just don't want to spend 4 hours at the hospital... And now that I am not working I no longer have drug coverage. And currently have no money. I can't afford the medication to treat it. It's part of the reason I've been holding off. But I should go get it checked out... make sure it is an allergic reaction and find out what I am allergic to.

Needy Child

Azrael is definitely a needy cat. He is certainly enjoying having me home these days. And whenever I do not have the computer actually on my lap he will come over and give me a look. One that tells me he wants attention and my devotion. Then he'll curl up on my lap and not move. It can be annoying if I have work to do, like hunting for a job. But he does force me to relax something I don't make the time for otherwise.

A Greener Apple

After coming under criticism from Greenpeace Apple has announced plans to go greener, greener then other computer manufacturers. This announcement really made me take notice and made me proud... even more an Apple "fanboy" then I was before. Just don't get me started on spending my evenings reading MacWorld and MacLife. *lol* So what changes have occurred or are occurring?

Did you know that the typical CRT monitor contains 3 pounds (that's right POUNDS) of lead. Makes me want to trade in the monitor I have for my PC as soon as possible. The original iMac contained 484 grams of lead and the current LCD based model contains less then 1 gram. Back in 2006 Apple became the ONLY computer manufacturer to completely eliminate CRTs.

The European Union has more restrictions then the US and the latest restrictions are known as RoHS. All Apple products worldwide comply with these standards and do not contain cadmium, hexavalent chromium (think Erin Brokovich) and decabromodiphenyl ether (DecaBDE). Other companies use loopholes in the law to continue shipping products with the last 2 chemicals.

Arsenic and mercury are commonly used in LCD displays. Ever get the feeling your computer just might be the death of you? Apple plans to completely eliminate the use of arsenic in all its displays by the end of 2008. iPods already use LEDs to illuminate their displays so they do not contain any mercury. Apple is planning to transition displays to also use LED backlighting to reduce and eventually eliminate the use of mercury. There is no time frame set up for this to be complete, just when it is technically and economically feasible.

Polyvinyl chloride (PVC), a type of plastic primarily used in the construction industry but also found in computer parts and cables, and brominated flame retardants, or BFRs, which reduce the risk of fire are also being eliminated. Apple began phasing out PVC twelve years ago and began restricting BFRs in 2001. For several years now Apple has been developing alternative materials that can replace these chemicals without compromising the safety or quality of our products. They are close to eliminating them altogether. For example, more than three million iPods have already shipped with a BFR-free laminate on their logic boards. As stolen from the Apple web site, "A note of comparison — In 2007 HP stated that they will remove PVC from all their packaging. Apple did this 12 years ago. Last year, Dell began the process of phasing out large quantities of brominated flame retardants in large plastic enclosure parts. Apple’s plastic enclosure parts have been bromine-free since 2002." Apple plans to completely eliminate PVCs and BFRs by the end of 2008.

So far all I have talked about is the reduction of harmful products... but what about when the computer is no longer functioning and you're now replacing it. Obviously you can't just recycle it or toss it in the trash. I've been to the recycling facility in Peterborough... It's also where you go to take harmful chemicals to dispose of. There are several HUGE boxes full of computer parts. I often wonder what happens when these parts are left there over time. On second thought maybe I don't want to think about that.

Apple began recycling in 1994 and has taken the initiative for trade-ins or take-backs. Every Apple retail store has a take-back program in effect for the iPods. They even offer a 10% discount on a new one. This summer there is also plans to allow you to mail it back to Apple for free (if you live in the US). None of the e-waste that is collected is shipped overseas. It is processed in North America. Also, the components used are high quality and in demand for the recyclers.

I'm not a big environmentalist... but I do believe that we all need to do what we can to reduce our own footprint and support those companies that are also working to reduce their footprint. For more information on Apple's efforts to go green check out their web site

Right of Abode

Something I have been thinking about for a long time now is getting the right of abode to work in the UK. I just never had a reason to get it when I was working. After all I had a steady job that did not involve travelling to the UK for work. So it was little more then a passing thought but something I always wanted to get. The right of abode allows you to live and work in the UK without being hassled by immigration. I was wrong when I posted before about it (See here for details) It will cost me more then $50 and now takes less then 6 months. The application itself will only cost $50 but since I need my passport that will be another $100. Plus I would need the long form of my birth certificate. In total I would need about $165 and a few records (namely my birth certificate, my parents birth certificate, adoption records, and marriage certificate) but it would allow me to live and work over in the UK unrestricted. Would I ever need it? At the moment that is hard to say... but it certainly couldn't hurt when applying for jobs since so many companies are multi-national. They wouldn't have to worry about Visas or anything else. So it's just one more thing that sets me apart from the competition. And while you do have to reapply once your passport expires it still allows you unrestricted access to living and working in the UK.

I made the mistake of talking to mom since I knew I was going to need her birth certificate. Maybe it was because she was tired... or maybe it was just because of our relationship... but she told me to hold off until I had more money. Well I was certainly waiting until I had the money but I needed to know that the documentation was going to be available since it's going to take about 2 months from when I start the process. She seemed to think that I just wanted this on some whim and would need to be out of debt and have my student loan paid off before I could do anything with this. Once again she was trying to discourage me and hold me back. Will I ever make use of it? Maybe... or maybe not.... But I think it's cool. Having a passport comes in handy any ways... and then $50 to have the ability to live and work in the UK. I've spent $50 on many other things that will make no difference in my life... that were nothing more then instant gratification. So why not spend it on something that opens up the possibilities in the job hunt? Hopefully things go a little smoother with dad.

Wonders What to Do

I am currently pondering what to do... and not just for the day... but rather I am thinking about my future. I do feel like I am in a great position at the moment. I am free to do whatever I want. In some ways that makes it more difficult. Way too many choices.

I could stay here in Peterborough and try and get something. Recently I applied for a job as an addictions counsellor and one as an employment counsellor. The second one has the most appeal to me. I am starting to see a few jobs that would appeal to me.... but being a small town there aren't as many. And I have never liked Peterborough. I'm not sure what it is but I hated this town when I moved here and I can't say that my feelings have changed all that much. I can count the number of people I like on one hand. The cost of living is high... the crime rate is high... the jobs are all typically low wage....

I could move to Belleville (or Trenton). From the look of it I can rent a two bedroom apartment for the the same price as my current apartment. How sad is that? The drawback there is that I am not sure I really want to go back to another call centre. There is a posting right now for Operations Supervisor and from what I can tell it would be a step up from where I was and be a wise idea if I wanted to pursue a management position at a call centre. But again... is that really what I want to do? Seems to me I would be heading right back into the fire.

Something I have been giving more thought to as of late is moving back to London, ON. Just today I saw that it was rated as the 8th best place in Canada to live. I always did like London. And since it is a bigger city there are more job opportunities. I just saw a job posting there for employment counsellor as well. Plus there were jobs at the University, the hospital, and elsewhere. Again, the price of apartments there are cheaper. I even saw one for a building near where I used to live where they are offering either a free 27" TV, MP3 player (but not an iPod) or 5.1 Megapixel Sony digital camera PLUS if you move in on or before August 1 they are giving you a month's rent free.

There is also the option of relocating elsewhere... somewhere other then Ontario. That one obviously has more challenges, especially if the relocation involves moving to another country. Wonder if I can avoid my loan that way? *lol* Just kidding... But it is an option.

I have no idea what to do... I keep weighing my options and the pros and cons but I'm not sure what the best idea is. Any thoughts or advice are definitely welcome. Or maybe I should just roll a dice and see what happens *lol*

Tragedy ---> Exploitation

I seem to be really critical of media these days. Today I saw an ad for a special on A&E about the Virgina Tech shootings, called "A Killer on Campus." Don't get me wrong I believe it is a huge tragedy and the thought of it fills me with sadness. However, I believe that it is also being exploited. Whenever you look at a news story there is always an agenda behind it. I don't generally watch the news for a reason. I am willing to bet that CNN was showing endless clips of the event, much like they did in Columbine. Ask yourself, were are they showing the same footage time and time again? Was it about awareness or was it about ratings? Even now the specials are focusing on the killer and not all the victims of this tragedy. They are the ones that we should feel for. They died because they went to school that day... or lived in that dorm. But is anyone spending an hour on the lives of each victim? Of course not... because that is not what sells. They know that we are more interested in why someone would do this kind of thing and that we have this morbid curiousity so we'll watch CNN for hours... or watch a show on the killer. We, as a society, have become so desensitized by the violence that we don't even think about the fact we focus on the psychopath and give him more attention then we do to the innocent victims. And then we wonder why it happens again. It's like the message I saw on a web site, "Is adult entertainment killing kids... or is killing kids adult entertainment?"