Relaxation 101

What a cutie... Azrael really does know how to get me to relax. The other day I was in the middle of writing an email when he decided that he wanted my attention. Azrael really is a lap cat. I was reminded that the email can wait.... I was also reminded that my life does not revolve around technology and being on my computer all the time. I was rediscovering the meaning of the word relax. Right now he is giving me the evil eye from the cable box. Or he is planning to reclaim his lap... not sure which quite yet.

On Being a Good Pillow

The last couple of days Azrael has really decided that I make a fantastic pillow, even more than usual. Makes it a little more challenging to get anything done since he will just walk across me and then curl up. And he always wins.... The computer can wait. If nothing else he really helps me to relax. He is my big suck. But he's not that social, really. Yes he will curl up with me (or on me) but for the most part it's not that he really wants attention from me. Azrael just wants to be near me. That's my baby.

Hearing Voices

A little while ago I was looking for something on Yahoo and stumbled across the question as to why people talk to their pets. Clearly the person asking saw them as nothing more then animals and thought that talking to them had no value. That made me a little angry... or at least defensive. I talk to Azrael all the time.... I realize that he has no idea what I am saying. But he can tell by the tone and inflection whether or not it's positive or negative. Don't worry I am not going to be one of those crazy cat ladies with a house of cats.

There is a lot to be said for pet therapy. Now you have to find the pet that is right for you... but it is very rewarding. They say that pets will match the personality of the owner. That sounds about right. Azrael is relaxed and gentle but every once in a while will go psychotic. *lol* Pets are full of unconditional love. They don't judge you for what you say (It helps when they don't understand... I suppose someone who doesn't speak your language might also have value *lol*) and are just there for you.

Kitty Therapy

How could you possibly resist him? Yesterday I was taking it easy and resting. I was also remembering just how therapeutic a cat can be. Sure they are independent creatures and like things to be on their terms... but they also read your moods and can be a big suck. I was just watching TV and he came over and snuggled right in with me. Then "helped" me with laundry. Also known as... he curled up in the pile of clean clothes and attacked me if I tried to take any of it away. As you can tell from the pictures he still hadn't let me make the bed... Then it was more cuddle time with mommy. When I woke up this morning he was using my leg as a pillow and then came to visit me for some attention. He knows when the alarm goes off he'll get plenty of attention. Then I finally got up and got ready for work. Right now he is a little more distant but still beside me on the futon. It was exactly what I needed since it has been a rough week. God bless pet therapy! :o)

On a Happier Note

As I've been writing out my current frustrations with the current apartment I've been watching Azrael. He is currently sprawled out beside me and looking quite content. As of late he has really been trying to get my attention. Azrael is my therapist at times. Right now he is in the middle of a dream and looking awfully cute. I wish I had a camera right now. Azrael's my baby.

Joyful Heart Foundation

My recent birthday present reminded me of the Joyful Heart Foundation. It was founded by Mariska Hargity of Law & Order: Special Victim Units fame. It's nice to see a celebrity that goes above and beyond for charity. What makes Joyful Heart Foundation different is that it focuses on healing the mind, body and spirit after a sexual assault. There are a couple of things that I find really interesting. Well mainly the fact it's not traditional therapy. There is a reason that I have a picture of a dolphin there. They do retreats and include dolphin therapy. Studies have shown that dolphins aid in the healing from depression, and for physical ailments as well. In traditional therapy there is usually a focus on either the mind, the body or the spirit. Maybe that is why traditional therapy doesn't have that great a success rate. The Joyful Heart Foundation also does things like art therapy, massage therapy, guided writing, and yoga. My dream job would be a counsellor there... or in a similar setting. Hey I can dream can't I?

Celebrity Self-Injury

Recently newspapers reported that Lindsay Lohan had scratches on her arm and there were "concerns she is a victim of self harm." The headline was "Self harm fears over Lindsay's scars." Another article said that she was "accused of being a cutter." I realize that people want the latest celebrity gossip and that any news will sell. Maybe it's more of a witchhunt. One that wants to out Lindsay as a cutter.

But there is another issue with these statements. There is already a huge stigma surrounding self injury. Calling someone a "victim of self-harm" makes it sound like it's something that happened to them. And accusing someone of self-injury just reinforces the stigma and makes it sound like it's the worst thing you could do.

Plastering pictures of what may (or may not) be self-inflicted scars has no positive benefit. It just reinforces the shame a self-injurer feels. But for someone that is young and impressionable it can also lead someone to choose self-injury. After all celebrities are role models and people will mimic their behaviour. Plus the pictures are sensationable and can be triggering for people that do self-injure.

My question... who cares? Maybe she fell in the bushes as has been claimed or maybe she really does cut herself. It is none of our business. At the end of the day Lindsay Lohan is a person and whatever she needs to do to cope should be her decision. Plastering photos in numerous newspapers and across the internet does not help. *If* she is cutting herself then what she needs is support and help to find better ways of coping and to deal with what is the reason behind it.

Having said that... there are worse things that she could be doing. Now sometimes self injury is a symptom of a mental disorder and that definitely should be examined. Self-injury is typically a controlled response used to regain balance when things feel out of control. In some cases it is to prevent suicide from becoming an option... Society seems to have the idea that it's linked to suicide but it's almost the opposite. It's about regaining control. All I can say, as someone that is all too familiar with self injury (and can't even imagine having pictures of my cuts plastered all over) leave her be!

Career Options

My degree is in psychology and I work in a call center. To most people those two ideas don't really go together all that well. Personally, I think that call center employees don't get the respect they deserve. There's too much of an emphasis on temporary employees since the wages aren't going to attract people for the long term. But that was a bit of a tangent. I find that I do use the psychology degree every day. After all my job is to coach and develop the other agents. I also use it when communicating with customers. So it is a useful skill to have in my line of work.

The big issue I have... and the reason I am at a bit of a cross-roads is that there are very few opportunities for advancement at work. They have done away with the team leader position here and with the turnover rate no manager positions will be available on the horizon. And even if there was there is a LOT of competition among all the performance coaches. The most I can make as a performance coach is $15.65 an hour ($32,552/year) and that is after 5 years of being a performance coach. Not to mention the fact you have to meet your metrics to even get a raise, something I didn't do in February. If it wasn't for my student loan it wouldn't be a big deal but that is still hanging over my head.

Steve seems to like coming up with career options to make more money. Now none of his ideas involve me actually leaving to pursue other opportunities. He does know that I applied for a promotion in Niagara Falls so he already knows I am willing to leave. I don't think he was quite so happy about it. So what is his current thought? He seems to think I should start a counselling practice specializing in people who self-injure. He thinks I would do well since I understand the behaviour.

I have a few issues with that thought. As an unlicensed counsellor you are a lot more vulnerable. Self-injury is a behaviour and in order to treat it you have to treat the underlying causes. That's not exactly short-term therapy. You really do have to change thought process and behaviour. It's also extrememly frustrating. There is a reluctance to change. You need a mix... otherwise you risk facing burnout. You just can't deal with the same thing over and over and over... especially when it is a behaviour that is resistant to change. Then there is the whole self-harm behaviour. Generally speaking you have a duty to report any threats to self or to others. So it's a bit of a catch-22. The last thing I would want to do is force someone to sign a no-harm contract.

While I do understand the behaviour and have been there that is only so beneficial. And since I still struggle with it I am not sure I would be the best counsellor. You can treat it as long as you can empathize with the person... which should be true in any therapy relationship. If it's not there then you should be looking for another therapist.

Now I can see me more as an advocate and generating awareness about self-injury. I could handle that. I do think there is a need for that. But as a counsellor... I'm not so sure about that idea. Unlike Steve I try to take a practical approach and not just have the idea of the week.

UFC '58

So last night was UFC '58. I had been hesitant to order the PPV since there weren't too many big names on the card. I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend the $40 on it. Even more so after St. Pierre started whining about not being given a title shot and how unfair it was that he was fighting Penn for a chance to fight Matt Hughes. But I did order it. And I won't ruin it by saying who won... but there were some good fights. I was actually surprised by that. And I still hold that the UFC is my version of therapy. :o)

Chilling

Enjoying a night alone... for once the roommate is out of town. So it has just been me and Azrael all day. Really enjoying the sound of silence. Of course being Wednesday it's time for Lost, Criminal Minds, and CSI: New York. As frustrating as my time off has been it was nice for some actual R&R. I don't get many opportunities to have the place to myself... at least not for long so I am thoroughly enjoying the peace and quiet.

I'm thinking Azrael is going to have a hard time when I do back to work. Whenever I go back after vacation he gets tempermental and stops visiting me. Since cats have a really short memory that doesn't last long. But he is definitely used to me being home. He stays in bed with me until I get up and then alternates between the couch and my monitor.

I'd forgotten how therapeutic a cat can be. When I still lived in London (which seems like a lifetime ago now) my roommate, Mel, said that Tigger was my therapist. Whenever I was stressed I curled up with him. Or I let him eat my fudgesicle... whichever. He was my baby. It was really hard for me when I had to put him down. It was one of the few times people saw me cry. Azrael, at least when he was a kitten, was the opposite. He was pretty psychotic and would attack. Lately he has really changed and has become quite the big suck. He still has his independant streak which is good but sometimes it is nice to have him curled up on my lap.