Not All Good However

I do have a lot of good things that I can say about the OT. And then there are days like today. Today seemed like a fight. First they made us move downstairs because there were a lack of supervisors. It was packed downstairs and there was a lack of working computers. By the time we might have had working computers we could go back upstairs. Plus I was locked out and waiting for a password reset. My supervisor has me listening to calls... meanwhile someone else on our team got locked out as well and he allowed her to roam so she was answering questions. I was pretty bitter about that and the entire team knows it. After all I am the go-to person on the team for questions but he just keeps denying me the opportunity to roam and then wonders why I don't give a damn and refuse to make an effort. My quality scores will attest to it. Any chance he had of motivating me is long gone. I actually dread my weekly coaching session with him because I don't want to hear it... and nothing he says (short of putting me on disciplinary action) is going to motivate me any longer. That ship has sailed. So then he seemed to be in a bad mood... especially when he got one password reset and I ended up needing another one to be reset as well (blame another supervisor for that... he reset the wrong password last night). Just set the tone for the day. Seemed like we were all fighting customers throughout the day. And then about halfway through the day the Fibromyalgia really flared up and there was severe pain in my hip, half and foot.... I was still going to stick it out but I finally gave up. The money is nice but my health and well being is more important. I still worked my normal 8.5 hours but then I went home. I really needed the time off.... The pain is still there unfortunately but since I am relaxing at home I am not as focused on it. Tomorrow I will be back to the 12 hour shifts but it was nice to have a shorter shift today.

The Long Hours at Work

I know I go for long periods without posting and then usually have a few posts at the same time. Right now I do have a legitimate excuse. I am working 55 hours a week so I don't have a whole lot of time to do much of anything. I am not going to lie. It is hard to work 12 hour shifts. But let's face it how many people work 2 jobs just to make ends meet? I just have to put in extra hours at one job which to me is easier.

It all started when I discovered the Columbia House movie club. Or should I say I discovered they have Blu-rays. They had an amazing deal going where you buy 1 movie and get the rest at 60% off. I posted about it before here and just kept buying. I knew what I was getting into and what I would have to do to pay it off. Now this is the last week, for the most part, for the Columbia House orders. Of which I am still waiting for 11 pre-orders, 8 movies, 2 TV shows and the Matrix Ultimate Collection.

I still haven't completely decided just how long I am going to work the OT for. My general thought right now is to work it for as long as I can handle it. I am not a big fan of winter any ways so work the extra hours since I don't want to see the outside world and make some extra money in the process.

I have some thoughts about what to put the money towards.... For instance I would like to replace my camera. I would also like to save up some money for my vacation time so that I can do something... whether it's going to Niagara with a friend of mine.... or visiting some tropical locale the OT can help pay for it. I would also like an HD TV.... although I am not sure that I have enough motivation to go for that one. I can handle the thought of 3 weeks (say for the camera) or 4 weeks (maybe 6-8) for the vacation... but it would like 3 months to pay for the TV. That might be pushing it. Especially since I need 1 week of OT a month just to pay bills as on my normal pay I am about $200 short a month. I could also do the responsible thing and pay bills with that money.

It is demanding and it certainly does take a toll. I am pretty tired and, as of late, the Fibromyalgia has also been bothering me. But I actually find it to be a good thing. The $1200 (after tax) pay cheque that I just got was nice, of course. But I am also on a routine. It helps me sleep better at night. I sleep through the night as a result. For the most part I am also on a TV fast during the week. After all I don't have a whole lot of time after work so usually I can' be bothered even turning the TV on until possibly Friday night. I don't spend a lot of time with people like SS who take a toll on me so mentally it helps me. And it really does make me appreciate my time off. I was really taking for granted the time off that I had. Now I find that I want to relax more on my days off... and just enjoy the solitude. as weird as it may sound I actually think that working the long shifts is a great thing for me and really helps create a sense of balance and makes me appreciate what I have and the time that I have to myself.

Public Holidays

Back in February was Family Day.... the newest public holiday in Ontario. Initially, I had been banking on getting double time and a half for the day since when asked my supervisor said that they don't give lieu days for any of the holidays. So imagine my surprise when I find out that they are going with a lieu day this time. It does cost them less because it's a day off with pay, rather then 1.5x your wages plus the pay for working the day.

So I requested that my lieu day be a Saturday in March. I was hoping that this would guarantee I wouldn't be working on the anniversary of when I was fired from Minacs. My days off had consistently been Thursday and Friday but it was always possible that the scheduler might do something other then copy & paste for the schedule. Plus it was the only way I was ever going to get a Saturday off. Then Bill got a note saying that they were going to assign the day off. What he said is that he had already submitted the request so we would just be waiting to see if it was given. Now when the schedule was released it wasn't on there. That really didn't mean anything since as I mentioned whoever does the scheduling just copied and pasted the schedule from the week before. So I asked Bill and the next thing I know I have the day off. So at this point I was assuming that it was being used as the lieu day.

Have I mentioned the guy that does scheduling really likes to copy and paste? The following week my schedule still had 3 days off. Now the week before had been the Easter weekend so I knew I had an extra day's pay there. I knew that getting an extra day off.... when my paycheque would remain th same size... was not an opportunity that presented itself very often. So I decided to capitalize on it. Then the following week I still had three days off... I wasn't going to take it... and then with the contract loss I got the time off any ways.

Get paid and low and behold it wasn't on there. Now when I first found out I was at home and not about to go all the way to work to get my pay stub and confirm what I already suspected. First day of training I went down to HR and was reminded that to work in HR (at least here any ways) people skills are not a job requirement. They couldn't find the pay stub and the person that would have it had called in sick. So the next day I was back... and got my pay stub. Sure enough I wasn't paid. When I tried to ask I got cut off and told to talk to Bill. When I went to ask Bill he said that he had told me I might not get paid for the day and that it was a personal request day. Talk about BS and covering his own ass. He never said that. He told me that they were assigning the days off but also said that it might go through since he put the request in before he got that memo. Then he said to let him know if they hadn't paid it out within the 3 months.

At that point I gave up. Since they hadn't paid it out I figured I might as well just enjoy the fact now they owed me yet another day off. If they pay it out it has to be with the shit premium. Otherwise they have to give me the day off with pay. No complaints there. Now you would think that since Bill is a supervisor (and was my supervisor) he would be looking into what they are going to do since it has to be given to me by May 17. That's coming up pretty quickly. Otherwise, it's a violation of the employment standards act. Having said that, it's not like the Ministry of Labour is all that speedy. Took 8 months for them to open my last investigation with my former employer. The real issue is that we will still be training until then. Granted we will be on the floor before the date passes. T-Mobile has a policy that if you miss more then 16 hours then you're out. I'm not sure if that is just in class hours... and I don't think that I will be missing that but if you take away the 8 hours for the lieu day then I really can't miss any time.

It's not like I haven't given them outs. I booked the day off a month after the holiday. Even gave them the chance to correct that and just pay for the day (not the premium wages) knowing that we were going to be in training until their time runs out. Even asked them about paying out the lieu day as one of the days I missed instead of vacation time. That was more for their benefit then mine. I was getting paid for the day regardless... but thought it would be easier for them.

Now I am half tempted to just do nothing... After all I can pretty much guarantee that the 3 months will come and go and I won't get the day off. But at the same time I just want what I am entitled to and don't want to fight for it. I am concerned that if I don't hound them for it I'll get lost in the shuffle and lose the day completely. After all I was switched to a new contract in there.... Or if I leave I'll end up fighting them for the pay. When Heather comes back from vacation I am going to ask her to look into it. If there is still no answer then I am just going to leave it.... until the 3 months has gone by. Then I'll be asking what happened to my day off. See what they say then.

Small Ray of Sunshine

I am still adjusting to the day shifts. It's so odd to see daylight again. This morning I slept in until Azrael jumped up on the bed any ways. He was my wake up call. I must say that the timing of it all was actually not such a bad thing. In winter there isn't a whole lot of sunlight and it was so cold that I didn't want to be outside. Now it's gorgeous weather outside. On Friday after work I took a long walk down to Chapters and the grocery store. It's also good because I am walking to work. I am not a fan of the cold and would much prefer to hibernate in the winter.

Monday payroll went in. The question had been raised about using vacation days to cover the 2 days that we lost. There was no response from HR. I guess, much like with everything else, they were still working on it. So we asked Heather, the trainer, about it. When we went on lunch she went to HR. The initial answer was no because they don't pay out the vacation pay. But then Heather realized that it wasn't that we were asking to pay it out... but to cover the days that we had missed. So back to HR she went... In the end she contacted the site director and after about an hour and a half had been told that we would all get vacation time for Monday and if we were scheduled to work Saturday then we would also get vacation pay for then as well. I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. That's a difference of $160. And with that pay cheque I had to cover my tax return.

Then on Wednesday we got our pay stubs. I am now cautiously optimistic. They kept us at our original rate... Well the shift premium was obviously excluded but that extra 75 cents is an extra $30 a week. That adds up pretty quickly and makes the difference between being able to pay bills and not being able to. I am scared that on the next pay cheque they will say that it was an error and take it away. I'm pretty sure if they try that there will be a cry of outrage. But we'll see. I wouldn't put anything past them at this point. Either way I did get paid the extra and am hopeful that it will continue.

Cost of Living

On the front page of the Peterborough Examiner yesterday was an article on affordable housing. To check it out click here. It's actually pretty depressing and says a lot about the city. I still remember when I moved to Peterborough. I was homeless and on social assistance. When I was still in London they had told me who to contact about subsidized housing and I was told that I would take priority since I was homeless (if I stayed in London that is). I took a chance and moved to Peterborough. I went down to talk to someone about my housing situation and was told that they don't prioritize for people that are living in shelters, couch surfing, or are out on the streets. To this day that doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

4 months later I was homeless again. Social assistance does offer to pay last months rent but limit it to $300 (or maybe it was $400). They won't help you if you are trying to get into an apartment building because on welfare you won't be able to afford the monthly payments. At this point I had a job but had just started and couldn't afford to pay first and last. So because they wouldn't help me out, in spite of the job, I wound up being homeless again. I was staying on someone's couch. Then I ended up renting a room. It was a pretty sad situation.

According to the article it takes up to 15 years to get subsidized housing here. 15 years... Maybe it's just me but that number seems awfully high. And if you are waiting 15 years for affordable housing what are you supposed to do in the meantime? Peterborough is known for low wages and a relatively high cost of living. There is a huge housing shortage as it is so landlords can charge outrageous amounts for rent. Apparently, Peterborough has one of the highest rates of people who are housing insecure. I am assuming that this means people are struggling with the rental prices. Right now there are 1,469 people on the list and seniors and people waiting for a 1 bedroom unit make up over half the list.

No new housing units have been made in 15 years. Since obviously that means that someone has to move out (or die) before a spot opens up you would think that they would've noticed there was an issue long before now and maybe addressed it. 15 years to wait for affordable housing is a big problem.

The mayor said, "If we can help these underemployed and unemployed people get jobs, decent-paying jobs, then all these things become affordable." It's a nice statement except that Peterborough's economy is largely fueled by call centers and retail... neither of which pay enough to change things. And they're not even counting the working poor that are not on the list for subsidized housing and simply struggle through month after month. People like me.

Other interesting notes... Almost 10% of the population in Peterborough are fed each month by the food bank. Again that number seems to be pretty high. Obviously we have an issue with poverty and people not being able to meet their basic needs.

Also according to the article in 2005 the cost of a 2 bedroom apartment was $797, up from $641 in 1995. I'd like to know where they found an apartment that cheap... unless they are giving the price without utilities. For a two bedroom in 2005 it was costing us $875/month. In a month the rent for my apartment will be going up to $769 and there is nothing I can do since they are allowed to raise the rent annually and it is below the maximum allowable amount. But the prices are comparable to other apartment buildings in the city. The alternative is having a roommate but I really don't like that option, for a number of reasons. I've worked at the same place for 4 years... theoretically I should be able to pay my rent. Well so theory says any ways.

The last point, and the one I found the most interesting, in the article is that an hourly wage of $13.60 or an annual income of $27,880 is needed to rent a one bedroom apartment. Starting wages at most call centers is about $9 an hour. That is a far cry from what is needed. When I started working there I was making $10.30/hour and 4 years later... and with a promotion I am making $14.15. Sure that is almost a 40% increase... but if you need $13.60/hour in order to pay rent... then $14.15 is not enough for the job I do, especially with my student loans. According to the government I make too much money not to pay back my loans (and no matter what only have 5 months of interest relief left) because they don't adjust for cost of living.

Currently I am also putting money into an RRSP which may not be an option once my loan payments have to be made since I won't be able to afford planning for the future. But once you take my RRSP contributions out of the equation my hourly rate actually drops to $12.45/hour plus any deduction the government has, or the cost of the enhanced dental plan. That is well below the $13.60 that they say is needed to rent a one bedroom apartment. $13.60/hour is $1088 a month... and I can pretty much guarantee that an entire paycheque would be going to rent after the government takes out their share.

So I guess that means that companies need to increase wages to account for the cost of living. The alternative is for the city to step in and force apartments to reduce the rental rates which isn't going to happen. After all it is the private sector and the city can't force them to reduce their rents. I highly doubt that it's going to happen but it would be a nice thought. I would like to think that one day I might get paid a wage that actually allows me to pay my bills and demonstrates value for the position I have.

Sad Realization

I came to the realization the other day that if I had not accepted the performance coach position that right now I would be making $13.60/hr. Now that would not be an incentive to stay where I am... But the position had a 50 cent/hr premium. So I would actually be making $14.10/hr. Right now, as a performance coach I make $14.15/hr. Hmm... less work... less stress... far less responsibilities... I wonder why that is appealing. Having said that I would pretty much be stuck in that position forever with no real chance of advancement. But right now I am not sure what the chances of advancement are any ways. For now I am being held back... 2 months from nopw I *might* be able to apply and get an interview. Now that the team leader position is no more it is extremely unlikely that someone will advance to team manager. After all they are lacking the experience and team leaders from other sites can apply. The last posting for team manager is a good example. From what I understand no one got the position. The best chance of advancement is to take a transfer to another site. I just think it's really sad that the pay difference is so small... When you look at everything a performance coach does.... In terms of the money I might as well go back on the phones. I wouldn't because money isn't everything... but the more stress there is... the more tempting that thought becomes. It would be really nice to be getting all three of my breaks again, instead of one. Not as many meetings... Not answering questions... No work to do at home... Just take calls for 8 hours a day and then go home. Wow does that ever sound nice....

Career Options

My degree is in psychology and I work in a call center. To most people those two ideas don't really go together all that well. Personally, I think that call center employees don't get the respect they deserve. There's too much of an emphasis on temporary employees since the wages aren't going to attract people for the long term. But that was a bit of a tangent. I find that I do use the psychology degree every day. After all my job is to coach and develop the other agents. I also use it when communicating with customers. So it is a useful skill to have in my line of work.

The big issue I have... and the reason I am at a bit of a cross-roads is that there are very few opportunities for advancement at work. They have done away with the team leader position here and with the turnover rate no manager positions will be available on the horizon. And even if there was there is a LOT of competition among all the performance coaches. The most I can make as a performance coach is $15.65 an hour ($32,552/year) and that is after 5 years of being a performance coach. Not to mention the fact you have to meet your metrics to even get a raise, something I didn't do in February. If it wasn't for my student loan it wouldn't be a big deal but that is still hanging over my head.

Steve seems to like coming up with career options to make more money. Now none of his ideas involve me actually leaving to pursue other opportunities. He does know that I applied for a promotion in Niagara Falls so he already knows I am willing to leave. I don't think he was quite so happy about it. So what is his current thought? He seems to think I should start a counselling practice specializing in people who self-injure. He thinks I would do well since I understand the behaviour.

I have a few issues with that thought. As an unlicensed counsellor you are a lot more vulnerable. Self-injury is a behaviour and in order to treat it you have to treat the underlying causes. That's not exactly short-term therapy. You really do have to change thought process and behaviour. It's also extrememly frustrating. There is a reluctance to change. You need a mix... otherwise you risk facing burnout. You just can't deal with the same thing over and over and over... especially when it is a behaviour that is resistant to change. Then there is the whole self-harm behaviour. Generally speaking you have a duty to report any threats to self or to others. So it's a bit of a catch-22. The last thing I would want to do is force someone to sign a no-harm contract.

While I do understand the behaviour and have been there that is only so beneficial. And since I still struggle with it I am not sure I would be the best counsellor. You can treat it as long as you can empathize with the person... which should be true in any therapy relationship. If it's not there then you should be looking for another therapist.

Now I can see me more as an advocate and generating awareness about self-injury. I could handle that. I do think there is a need for that. But as a counsellor... I'm not so sure about that idea. Unlike Steve I try to take a practical approach and not just have the idea of the week.

Decision Time

So today was pay day... and decision time for me. I had to decide which was more important... groceries and the phone bill or rent. I really didn't like the decision. I knew that rent should be the priority but I also knew that it would leave me with absolutely nothing to get by on. The alternative though was hoping that the other money came through. I didn't like taking that chance since the student loan center already screwed me on that one. Seemed like too big a risk. So I ended up paying my rent today. Now I have about $20 left and Bell was already threatening to cut off my phone if I didn't pay it since it's now at $125 with the long distance charges and all the calls I had to make during the day fighting with the National Student Loan Center. The cable bill isn't a big deal... and neither is the credit card bill. But groceries and my phone are weighing on me now. I really don't like to be this broke... It really bothers me. I hate it. Adds too much stress to my life. And I know the saying is that "It's only money" but when you're continually broke it is not a fun place to be.

The Basics

Suzanne reminded me of something earlier today... As long as you have heat and food on the table that's what is important. I'll be paying rent on Monday so I will continue to have heat here... well it would be even nicer if they fixed the thermostat but any ways. I have heat... So much so that I have the air conditioner on. But Suzanne was right. As long as you have the basics: Shelter, clothes, and food everything else is secondary. It's really easy to get caught up in the harsh reality of being behind in bills. I've been fighting this for months... I get caught up and then am immediately behind again... and when that is your focus it becomes all consuming. And it's really easy to put bills ahead of groceries in an attempt to stay afloat but there are some things tht just can't be sacrificed. So once again I have bills that are going to be late. I suppose the good news (if you want to call it that any ways) is that my credit can't possibly get any worse... short of a bankruptcy... thanks to my student loan. Looks like I'll be putting off the visit to the chiropractor and will be playing catch-up on the next pay cheque but I didn't sacrifice my house and home (or Azrael's either) in an effort to stay ahead of the bill collectors (which was a lost cause any ways).

Hell Has Been Upgraded to Purgatory

Finally there might be a bright spot in my life... maybe. I am trying not to be optimistic since when it comes to my student loan I just keep getting disappointed. I got a letter in the mail. It was a revision of terms. But, once again, they had screwed up. The revision of terms was for 172 months. Funny... since that is what they currently have me on. And the payments on the new revision were higher. How does that work? I increase the payments, still don't qualify for interest relief, and ultimately pay more... So I called to find out the status of my interest relief. They told me it had been declined (yet again) because I make too much money. For a difference of about $30 no less. But they still had not yet fixed the loan payment amount so I couldn't make as much as I should be able to. I asked about the revision of terms. A new one had been sent out today reflecting the 112 months. Even though I did not sign off on changing the terms my new loan payment amount will cost me about $30 more per month. Nothing quite like getting screwed again. Don't I at least get a kiss to go with this? It will wind up costing me something like $3200 more by the time it's paid off. I feel like I'm playing Monopoly except it's not "Bank Error in Your Favour"... It's "Government Error Not in Your Favour." Then they will finalize the terms and make a decision in 5-7 business days about my interest relief. I'm just hoping they make a decision before my next pay cheque... I really don't want any additional payments being made. But since I was only $30 off this time it should go through... And give me some peace... for a couple months any ways

Starvation Diet

I came to the conclusion today that a starvation diet was not a good idea. Okay so it's not like I didn't know that before. When I'm stressed I have a tendency not to eat. I also haven't been able to go grocery shopping. And then with work I have been too busy to eat. It's been pure insanity trying to get things done. By the time I finished work today I had a migraine. The headache is now gone but I can still feel it in my neck and shoulders. One of the many effects of stress.

It's not like it's getting any better either. Tomorrow is pay day. Normally that should bring with it a sigh of relief. I worked 52 hours one week and there was a holiday. However the extra still won't be enough. Rent has to come out of this pay cheque so I don't get evicted. And then I have to pay off all those bills that I was behind on. So I still won't be able to get groceries, or at least won't be able to get much.

It's a viscious cycle. I keep trying to get ahead but I'm not even breaking even. In fact I keep getting further and further behind. And once again I have to call the bank and have my loan payment delayed. All I want is to not have to wonder how the bills are going to be paid and the groceries bought. Is that so much to ask? And I'd really like to get off the starvation diet.

Never Enough to Go Around

I got paid on Friday and was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief. I was supposed to receive a letter in the mail about my student loan this week and never did. So I am still a little stressed about that. But I was able to get caught up on my bills. So Friday was a good day. But there is never enough to go around. The tax man liked my pay cheque as well. I got 65% of my gross pay. It would have been 80% if not for my pension plan. So, like always, there are always more things I would like to spend my money on then actual money. But I think that is the way it goes for everyone... unless they have a virtually limitless supply of cash. I'm just happy the bills are caught up now... and hopefully my interest relief finally gets approved... It's only been a fight since May. I'm hoping I find out in the next couple of days so that I can finally put it to rest.. for a few months any ways. I'd also really like them to stop taking money out of my account. That would be nice. The good news is that as long as my interest relief has gone through then I am back on track... and can stop talking how broke I am and how I can't pay bills.

Anger Issues

Christie was coming around telling people what their incentives will be... Mine was decent but, of course, I did miss 7 weeks. So that reminded me that I still hadn't received my annual review yet. Christie dared me to email Chris about it... I'm not sure I want to. There are still some unresolved anger issues there.... and I don't want to end up on disciplinary action for not being able to keep my mouth shut. It's been almost 6 months since I was her performance coach so, to me, the did wells and what to do differently isn't even relevant any more. And I can only imagine what she would have to say.

This also got me thinking about the 3 months before my LOA. If I worked at 1:00 I would crawl out of bed around 12:30. Not that a whole lot has changed but I really had difficulty getting out of bed. All I wanted to do was get more sleep. My days off I would sleep for 12-14 hours, which I still do now. I wasn't even functioning any more. I was actually losing my cognitive abilities which scared me. I couldn't think and words just weren't coming to me. For someone that spends a great deal of time thinking that was pretty terrifying. And whenever I said I was tired I got the standard line, "Don't use being tired as an excuse." I wasn't... it was an honest answer. If you said something to me it would either be scrambled in my brain and I couldn't comprehend it or it would go in one ear and out the other. I was in rough shape. And even when I was home I was rarely resting... since I had quizzes to do and other things as well. So it was a losing battle and I was being told it was just an excuse.

Then I snapped and ended up on the LOA. Now the doctor just wanted to say I was depressed so instead of running tests he just sent me to see a psychiatrist. Yeah I definitely have resentment and anger over that one. Had he looked into it and run the blood work he would've discovered what ended up taking another 4 months to learn. So I was just marginalized and no one would listen to me.

But it got better.... Chris basically accused me of lying when I said it was the Fibromylagia. I don't like being accused. I had already agreed to a mild case of depression but I would not accept major depression as the answer. I knew better. That bothered me right from the start. Fortunately, I didn't talk to her the rest of the LOA. Since I took Zoloft for 1 day... that was the extent of treatment for the depression that I supposedly had. Beyond that it was all about the sleep deprivation. If I was going to be depressed now would be a really good time to sink into a depression. Of course, I am on 2 anti-depressants currently... one to quit smoking and one to help me sleep.

So I do have some lingering anger over that whole situation. Now the LOA did some good for me... I finally got some rest and got a family doctor which led to the fact there's a medical basis for the fatigue. Part of me really wants to say, "I told you so" and lash out. But I know that I really shouldn't do that.

I've spent the entire time defending her and standing up for her... looking back I am not sure why. She expected perfection of me and nothing was going to be good enough. A good team manager never would've let it escalate to the point where they considered me a danger to myself and to others. Fuck you... I'm a doormat. I'll never hurt someone else. And, as for the cutting, all they did was give me more of an incentive. But if you want to call it depression... negativity... the whole nine yards... the warning signs were there. It should've been dealt with sooner in my opinion.

The most important thing to me is that work was wrong... Chris was wrong... the doctor was wrong... No one can force me into psychiactric treatment... so how did work get away with it? They blackmailed me into the medication... and the psychiatrist.... so that I could return to work. Had I not taken the initiative to find a real doctor, instead of a quack, I still wouldn't know that my blood count was low.

So am I angry? You bet I am. I was completely disrespected, called a liar, and then had a doctor slap a label on it so that he didn't have to do any work. And to think since it was an EAP consult he got paid a lot of money to say I was depressed. I was blackmailed and I lost money since I wasn't working. Lost 2 weeks pay and then was only making 60% of my wages. My incentive was also lower because of the time off. So, in a nutshell, I got screwed.

The best thing about my return to work... moving to a new team. I am much happier now...more relaxed... quit smoking and haven't tried to kill anyone. I also get a lot more respect over there.