Fireworks

I am currently out of town at the moment for the long weekend. I am visiting a good friend of mine and her family. It's really nice to have the time away. I call it a mini vacation... which is weird since it's defintely not quiet with 2 kids in the household. But then my normal life is super quiet. Less stress here and sometimes it is just nice to get away. Tonight was the fireworks show. I haven't seen fireworks in about 10 years now. It brought with it mixed emotions. On one hand it was nice to see a family that got along and came together for this. But, on the other hand, I felt like an outsider looking in. I didn't feel like I belonged there. And it has left me with feelings of loneliness. Maybe it's a trend for us adopted children... but there really are some deep seeded issues of feeling like you just don't belong. Maybe you never do get over the rejection. Even now I am surrounded by other people and want to be alone. I don't want anyone to see the emotions running just below the surface.... or be reminded that this is not my life and my family and I really am on the outside peering through the glass.