Vacations Are Just Not Long Enough

Don't really have much to report as far as the vacation goes.... It was largely just R&R. Got caught up on my sleep.... Didn't really have any obligations or appointments. Azrael got plenty of attention. I also watched plenty of TV. It was a great vacation... but it was over way too quickly.

Sunshine in the Clouds

Thursday was another rough day. The calls were long and frustrating. It seemed like I needed help on every call. As I realized later I was putting unreasonable expectations on myself. Yes I have done tech support before. That doesn't mean that I can just walk into the job and be a superstar. Yet subconsciously that was what I was expecting. And so when the call took longer then I felt it should, or I couldn't figure it out I would get really frustrated. Yet really it was still just day #4. I should actually feel really good about where I am at... and not discouraged that I still need help.

It has just been an emotional week.... Thursday I also made the mistake of calling mom while on break. Now I had figured it would be an easy call. I just wanted a ride to the chiropractor on Thursday. I really didn't want to walk the 4km to the chiropractor and home. I thought she would agree being my birthday and all. Didn't quite go as planned. First she got mad at me because if my vacation was pushed back then I would be missing work on Thursday. I can't help it that I had made prior plans for my birthday on the assumption that I was going to be off. Now my night plans I could reschedule but I am not about to reschedule my chiropractor appointment when she only works i the afternoon twice a week and it has been about 6 weeks since my last appointment. Secondly, what is the point in arguing? As it stood at that point in time I was not working any ways. But then she started asking if I walk to work.... and implying that I could just walk. Don't manipulate.... Just say no. Lie and say you have plans. Tell me you would rather not. Whatever. So I ended up saying I would just walk and she started backpedaling. Now I had just wasted my break on this and just hung up. She called back but I was back on the phones already... not that I would've answered any ways.

It was a rough day. And in the end I went home and ended up in tears. Well I ended up in tears twice in one night... but only once for the frustration that the day itself held. I have been feeling completely overwhelmed. Then I listened to mom's message and it was what I was hoping for from the start... She was agreeing to give me a ride to the chiropractor and had suggested a birthday dinner as well. Could she not have just said that from the beginning?

Then I made the mistake of checking my bank account. Even after getting my bonus there isn't enough money. There is never enough money. I am sick and tired of being poor. That probably wouldn't have been enough to push me over the edge... but the combination of the day I was having and the fact I have my birthday celebration coming up brought on the tears. I've got plans next Saturday for my birthday and I am not even sure how I am going to pay for them. Stresses me out just thinking about it.

And so far everything I have said has been negative.... so the clouds... or rain.... But Friday I did get some sunshine in there. As soon as I got to work I was on the hunt for the manager. it was do or die time. I needed an answer. And Paul didn't know. Hadn't even been to his office yet. So off to the office we go. Still no word.... So he contacted someone and didn't get an answer immediately so he contacted their boss. Took about a half hour but I got an answer... And they see it as a benefit of the company and seem to think I am doing something for them. Makes me look good. So in the end my request was granted. Instead of being on vacation now my vacation will be the following week. So I get to make the most out of training, use the resources that are available, get the weekends off and have time after my birthday bash to recover... like a full week. Some good news.

Finally got some sleep too which was really needed. Slept for 9 hours last night. Most of the week I would sleep for a few hours and then wake up. Never really felt rested. Which made the week a lot tougher and a lot more draining. Sleep.... glorious sleep.... Made for a good day. And looking forward to another day off to rest. Well and watch the last Sprint Cup race of the season. Glorious R&R

Better Late Than Never

I realize that my trip to Montreal was at the beginning of August and I really haven't said much about it. Better late then never.When I came back I was extra crispy as I posted on before. Made it quite difficult to use the computer or move really. Plus I wanted to find the best pictures to use for this post. God bless the internet. I now have 100s of pictures, including my own.

I'll start with the days leading up to the trip. I was pretty stressed out. It wasn't until the Monday when I got the cheque for my RRSPs. I took it to the bank on Tuesday and that became a hassle. I was able to get the money for the trip but at the time I wasn't sure if my rent would end up being bounced. Fortunately they didn't put a hold on the cheque and it went through just fine.

If you know me (away from the online version of myself which is a lot like the offline version.. just not as quiet) then you know that I tend to go to bed late and sleep in. Before the trip to Montreal I had actually been going to bed anywhere from 5:00-7:00 a.m. So when I was being picked up at 10 a.m. it was a bit of a challenge. I didn't get much sleep on Wednesday night but at least it meant I was able to have breakfast before heading out.

10 a.m. I was outside. It was super hot that day. I think it was already like 30 degrees and only 10 a.m. 20 minutes later I was already feeling the heat and was dehydrated. I went back inside to get a can of Coke for the trip and glass of water. Go figure, as soon as I got inside Wayne was here to pick me up. I had figured that we would be on the road immediately. Nope. We didn't end up heading out until about 11:30. It was a scenic drive down there through a lot of small towns. I'll skip most of the details of the drive but it was about 6:30 when we got to the hotel. I was more then happy to get out of the van and had a migraine by then. We were staying at the Comfort Inn in St. Jean-sur-Richelieu. It's about 30 minutes from Montreal and has a population about the size of Peterborough. Get unpacked and head out for dinner at the Restaurant au Foyer Rouge. Mmmmm steak. :) The hotel had wireless internet setup so I was able to check my email, look up the metro for Montreal, and check Facebook for any new updates. Went to bed early on account of the headache and the lack of sleep from the night before. Slept like a baby!!!

On the Friday the track opened at 7:30 a.m. but most of the day was just qualifying for the Canadian Tire Series and the Grand Am series. Plus there was practice time. So we didn't rush down there. Bacon and eggs for breakfast, back at the Foyer Rouge. Then we made our way to Montreal. Originally we were planning to take the Metro over to the Circuit Gilles Villeneueve since the web site had said there was only limited parking available on site. I had only gotten as far as locating various metro stops and left the rest up to Wayne and Tammy. They had identified where to go but the directions were left in the hotel. I had my PDA there, along with the GPS but it tends to want an address to go to. I did however find directions to the casino which is right in the middle of the racetrack. So we decided to try our luck there. Turned out to be really easy and not paid parking. Guess they're afraid that you might have lost all your money in the casino and can't afford parking fees as well.

First stop was to find where our seats were. Along the way we walked through the center area. Here there were vendors, or should I say Zellers since they had the official deal for Nascar merchandise. There was also the beer garden. One of the main attractions was definitely the Budweiser girls. They were local dancers and would pose for pictures or be dancing on the stage that had been set up. From what I could tell the band was always playing. As part of the Budweiser display there was also a replica Dale Earhardt Jr. car that you could try your hand at removing and replacing the tires. Since Dodge was another big sponsor of the even there was also a huge display with the current models. Oakley also had a booth there but I never did find out what was inside. Old Spice also had a tent set up where they were playing music and had cool air running. Perfect if you need a respite from the hot sun. They were also giving away Old Spice cloths that were being stored in a fridge. I didn't discover them until Saturday but it really came in handy. Dodge was giving out red bandanas with the Dodge logo. Once we made it through what I call vendor alley we had to cross a bridge that went over the racetrack to get to the Wallace Grandstand. No rest for the wicked. Tammy and I then went exploring. Time to check out the merchandise even though it was cheaper to buy in the local Zellers store. It was also about taking in the sights and sounds. Back to the stands to catch some action and eventually the Grand Am Rolex Series race. That series just seemed confusing to me. From what I could tell there were 2 different races at the same time. One group was for prototype cars and another was for Grand-Ams. Don't ask me who won. I have no idea. It was fun to watch though. We were in the middle of the S curve so there were a few cars that either took short cuts through the grass or wound up way off the track.

Dinner was Burger King.... That turned out to be a bit of an event. I can recognize some French words but I definitely can't hold a conversation. I ordered chicken and I don't normally eat at Burger King so I didn' know the package said both chicken and fish. I don't eat fish so when I looked at the wrapper and it said "chicken of the sea" (well okay that's what the French translates to) I thought I had gotten the wrong order. I didn't speak French and they didn't speak English. Let me tell you nothing got accomplished. I finally gave up. Turns out the order was right. After 7 hours in the sun I was developing a nice burn on my back. Spent some time with Tammy since I hadn't really talked to her since I got fired. Had a shower as well to try and cool off my back.... get some moisture into the skin. Plus I felt pretty grubby after a day in the sun. We were under a high heat and humidity warning all day. I was in jeans and a tank top. Grubby....

Saturday morning Carmen and I had to turn in our room key. We were supposed to have a different room that night. As it turns out that wasn't the case. We were able to keep our room due to a cancellation. Skipped breakfast this time since it was going to be a long day in the sun. This time when we went to park at the casino we were directed away. No Nascar fans were to be parked at the casino. So Wayne lied and told them we were going to the casino first. Get parked and discover we have another issue... We will not be allowed to enter the casino with our chairs and coolers. So Wayne heads out to drop us off and then was supposed to tell them that he had accidentally got turned around. Do you think he could handle that? No... instead he mentions Nascar and is immediately directed away. Get turned around by a cop and he drops us off and then parks the van. Must admit that it was nice to be parked at the casino and not be worrying about public transit. Not to mention the fact it cost less... Free is always good.

The smart plan would have been to drop all of our stuff off at the seats and then sent 2 people to explore. Wayne had been told that the driver trailers were supposedly close to where we were and they wanted to find them. Now I had my suspicions that the trailers were over by the pits which was on the opposite side and quite a distance away. I was also debating whether or not it would be worth going. We hadn't left as early as we were planning so we only had an hour before the Canadian Tire Series race started. Now you would think that it's plenty of time. We finally get over to where the pits are (well you can't get anywhere near there without a pit pass) and it looks pretty much the same as every other area. The only difference is track location. Tammy and I stopped while Wayne and Carmen carried on. The race started while we were standing there. 45 minutes after we stopped Wayne comes back. They weren't able to go to the driver trailers. Not only that but Carmen is exhausted and was waiting for one of the crew vehicles to drive her back to our section. So he was going to wait with her and then walk back. Tammy and I headed back and it only took us 10 minutes. But we had missed half the race. Once she did make it back Carmen didn't leave the stands until the end of the Busch race.

After the race I finally got lunch and did some exploring on my own. Now I was in shorts and a tank top this time. My back felt like it was on fire. Having a tattoo there does make you more sensitive as I discovered. It was at this point I asked people where to get the cloths they had. Went to the Old Spice tent and skipped the line... Went in the back way and just got a cloth. I ended up at the St. John's medic tent. Why is it that every time I go away to an event I wind up with the medics? It wasn't anything serious. I had just cut my leg and wanted a band-aid. Not like Trudeau Park where I still have a scar on my finger. Got back just before things got underway for the Busch race. In the meantime I made use of the ice water from my cooler to cool down my back. Ahhh.... relief.

And then the drunk chicks arrived. Up until that point it had been heaven. we had 6 tickets and only 4 of us went so we had a little more space then other people. Somehow I still ended up in someone else's seat for Friday but it didn't really matter. People were peaceful and I could just watch the race. But these two were obnoxious. More importantly the one sitting next to me seemed intent on spilling her beer on me. Within about 5 minutes she had already dropped her beer. They were also loud. After she dropped her beer they left to get another one. Peace and quiet for a little bit. Too bad they came back. I kept wrenching my back to steer clear of her since I really didn't want that beer. After about an hour and a half they disappeared and did not return. Not sure if they had a hand with that decision or not. What I found interesting is that they were here from Ontario and didn't even like racing. So why go? And if you just want to have a good time why not get general admission tickets so that it costs less?

And then there was the race.... The hometown hero, Patrick Carpentier, had the pole. For the most part there wasn't a whole lot of excitement. Round and round the track they went. I'm sure that some of the drivers weren't so happy with the course. God forbid they have to do a right hand turn. But near the end... that was when it got good. There was a crash that involved a number of cars, including the leaders. While they were under caution Marcos Ambrose touched Robby Gordon and spun him. Then it got ugly. Nascar ruled that Gordon was in 18th place and he disagreed and refused to move. He was blackflagged (ordered to come off the racerack) but disobeyed that as well. And when it did go back to green flag he intentionally took out Marcos Ambrose who had been in the lead. So with both of them out it led to Kevin Harvick winning the race. But as Kevin Harvick did his victory burnout so did Robby Gordon. Gordon ended up being benched from the race the next day, fined $35,000 and on probation for the remainder of the year. Nascar at it's best and worst.

The rest is pretty much history. From the race we went back to the Restaurant au Foyer Rouge where I got to have my steak again. Had an enlightening conversation with the waiter which I may blog about another day. I ended up with burn on top of burn which was quite painful. I did have a shower that night but it gave me no comfort and I didn't sleep. And the next day it was back home again. I had a fantastic time and would love to do it again! As the saying goes in Nascar, "Rubbing is racing."

Lessons Learned?

So after being away for a couple of days there have been a few lessons that I have learned. Now I may be expanding on this list since I am still not home.

1. Using Coke (the drink, not the white powder... although I suspect the white powder would not work either) to regulate hypoglycemia is NOT a good idea
2. Along with #1, I really need to cut out Coke or at least cut back on it
3. Mornings and I do not get along, although not so much because I'm nocturnal and mornings involve daylight... but because I run out of things to do and get bored or agitated
4. The mood swings associated with low blood sugar are easily misattributed and quite often not treated properly with sugar
5. It's tough to rely on other people for when to eat meals because by the time I am light headed it's a little late
6. I always need something to do... I really do NOT know the meaning of the word "relax"

Notice that most of these are related to the hypoglycemia.... Lessons I should have learned a long time ago but haven't. Maybe now I will learn... maybe... I am stubborn you know.

Fireworks

I am currently out of town at the moment for the long weekend. I am visiting a good friend of mine and her family. It's really nice to have the time away. I call it a mini vacation... which is weird since it's defintely not quiet with 2 kids in the household. But then my normal life is super quiet. Less stress here and sometimes it is just nice to get away. Tonight was the fireworks show. I haven't seen fireworks in about 10 years now. It brought with it mixed emotions. On one hand it was nice to see a family that got along and came together for this. But, on the other hand, I felt like an outsider looking in. I didn't feel like I belonged there. And it has left me with feelings of loneliness. Maybe it's a trend for us adopted children... but there really are some deep seeded issues of feeling like you just don't belong. Maybe you never do get over the rejection. Even now I am surrounded by other people and want to be alone. I don't want anyone to see the emotions running just below the surface.... or be reminded that this is not my life and my family and I really am on the outside peering through the glass.

Vacation Plans?

Dad called me today. He wanted to bounce a possible idea off me. He wants to look into how many air miles he has and possibly have the kids come out there for a week. Dad also wanted to try and explain why he turned down mom's offer to come out here over Christmas. I'm not sure what to think. He said it just would've been a fight over where to spend the time since mom didn't want to go visit the same people he did. So go alone. He was also commenting on the fact mom had to work. So go visit people while mom is at work. Just a thought. The point was more that Christmas is a time for families and he has never even seen his grand daughter.

The other part that was interesting is that he didn't mention mom being there. I'm under no illusions that their marriage is solid or even that it's worth saving. But I would like to think that if it's a family get-together that all members of the family would at least be invited.

I love BC. Going back out there is actually tempting. It's the family part of that I am not as crazy about. No offense to Suzanne and Dave since I would see them any time :o) Love you guys. When I am on vacation I want it to be relaxing and low stress. Now I am already going to Montreal in August for the Nascar race which doesn't leave me much vacation time. I was hoping to spend the rest of it just relaxing with Azrael. I hate to say it but quality time with the family is not stress free. I still think I should've gone out there while on my LOA. At least I had the time then to do it and it's not like the 7 weeks off was really a vacation. But we'll see... Just might be heading out to BC this summer.

Lessons From the Cat

When I was at Tammy's I was wondering how Azrael was doing and felt bad for leaving him behind. Sometimes I think he's my child and not my pet... I was also wondering what he was going to destroy. Last time I went away and left him he grabbed the roll of paper towel and destroyed it. It was strewn all over the kitchen floor. Tammy was suggesting I get another cat to keep him company so that he is not dependant on me. But it quickly became clear that Azrael wasn't really the issue... it was me. I can practically count the number of times I have left him on one hand.... The conclusion: Mommy needs to get a life. He's only this dependent on me because I have no life and am always here... so he takes it hard when I am not home, simply because he is so used to me being there. I need to get out more. And that was today's lesson from the cat. Thanks Azrael.

Relaxing Weekend

My vacation officially started on Thursday. I went straight from work to Tammy's. Aside from a couple of hours spent working on a spreadsheet the computer was even away. Now that is impressive. I don't do so well with the whole relaxation idea. I always have to be doing something. But it was nice to actually take a break. I was there for the UFC PPV on Saturday. I came home on Sunday after the last Nascar race of the season. It was nice to get away for a few days and to spend some time with friends. That's what it's all about.

Vacation in 5-4-3-2-1

After my shift ends at 5:30 tomorrow I will officially be on vacation.... I will not be at work for 11 days. I am not entirely sure what I am going to do with myself. I am definitely going to be relaxing. That much is for sure. Spend plenty of time with Azrael. I won't be thinking about who I need to listen to... and who needs extra coaching... Just rest. Now it would be nice if they fixed the heat in here. It is really making me dehydrated and congested. And is all too warm as well... But any ways.... I'm just happy to have some time off.

Tomorrow, after work I am heading to Tammy's for the weekend. It's Wayne's birthday this weekend as well. Going over there to watch the UFC event on Saturday. It will also be a nice chance to get away for a few days.

Of course I already feel guilty about leaving Azrael. He's my baby. I was looking forward to spending all day Friday with him but Tammy invited me over after work tomorrow. Back home on Sunday so I will likely be offline until then. Now I just need a nice trip to somewhere tropical and I'd really have it made.

Time Off

Aside from the whole student loan situation I am enjoying my time off work. It's nice to actually relax. Of course the best part is being able to stay in my PJs. The only downside has been the fact I am still chained to my computer. Granted this time it's by choice... but still. I am amazed at just how much time I can lose to the internet... to email... to games... and also to those applications designed to make my life easier and more productive. Having a portable computer makes it even more difficult. Now I never seem to get away. And I always have one more thing that I could do... some new presentation I could work on.... A video I could be editing... etc. I kep telling myself I am going to just put it away and enjoy some time to myself... but it doesn't happen. Azrael does a good job of getting me to relax by curling up on the keyboard or on my lap. It's his subtle hint to take a break. It's also because he is kind of needy. Thursday I am back to work but I am on days and not working extended hours... so it won't be too bad. Then in a month I have another vacation. It's all about capitalizing the days off.

Almost the End

I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. It seems like the nightmare might almost be over. Of course this is still assuming that my application for interest relief is finally approved. I should find out at some point this week. And if it goes through then I will be getting caught up on my bills. I'm also seeing the end of my long hours as well... and am looking forward to that. I could really use the sleep. I could also use the vacation that comes at the end of that.

But the hits just keep on coming. Today I bounced a payment to Dell. It's the downside to automatic payments... I have a tendency to forget about them. I decided to pick up a few groceries so I could make lunch... and wound up not having enough to cover the payment. Right after they took out the payment then I got the money back from the chiropractor. Unfortunately for me I think it was too little too late. It was also partially because the bank was closed on Monday with the holiday. So the $25 payment is about to become a $75 payment. *Sigh* Not exactly what I wanted.

Have I mentioned it really is an emotional rollercoaster? Just when I think I'm getting ahead something happens. I would really like to finish getting my dental work done as well. I still have a chipped tooth and it's becoming more and more painful. At this point I would just like to have the tooth removed... or get the cavities filled. But it's not exactly cheap... even with the 100% coverage from work. I got a lot of the work done before, just not the upper right hand side. So somehow... when I get done bringing my bills up to date I also have to pay the $200-$300 to the dentist. It's a never ending cycle. I guess that's why they say no matter how much you make it will never be enough.

Christie's Vacation

My team manager went on vacation recently. Well, it really wasn't a vacation since she was in the hospital having surgery. Just before she came back Pat and I got the bright idea to decorate her desk. Rachel had left all her bridal magazines when she left the company... so we got to work posting pictures on bristol board. In the end we covered the inside of her desk. Even had a couple made out of CocaCola boxes with pictures on them... and of course the wedding rings. Plus there was the message, "Will you marry me?" We scared one of the new team managers who was going on vacation right afterwards. It was just something fun to do and we wanted to make her smile when she came back. One guy jokingly called us evil and said we were going to split her and Ben up. By the time Ben actually saw it we were off and no one knew who did it. So Christie got the heads up before she came in... ruined some of the surprise... but she still had a good laugh and had no idea who did it, until I 'fessed up any ways. I thought she would've figured it out. It was a lot of fun although payback just might be a bitch since I'm currently on vacation.

Christie's Desk

What Christie's desk looked like when she came back from vacation...

Vacation

I think this vacaton is exactly what I needed. When I came back to work after my LOA I thought I should be at 100%. After all I had just had 7 weeks off. But I was really only fooling myself. Sure, things were a lot better. I am much more relaxed at work now. But my LOA wasn't exactly a vacation. Throughout my time off there were a great deal of mixed emotions. It's not like it was my choice. At first it was one thing.. I thought it was only going to be a few days off and then life would go back to normal. Then it really started to unravel... I was ambushed at the doctor's office. They sent me to a doctor that doesn't even believe Fibromyalgia is real so my reality was marginalized, something I thought I had finally gotten away from. It took 17 years to get the diagnosis and now I had a doctor telling me, once again, tht it's all in my head. He thought it was depression and every behaviour just reinforced that opinion. On any given day I meet some of the symptoms for depression since I do suffer from insomnia and have for almost a decade. The fatigue stems from the insomnia, the Fibromyalgia, and just from stress. Fatigue can also be responsible for some of the other symptoms... like difficulty processing information and not being as involved in activities. What the doctor attributed to a loss of interest in life activities wasn't entirely accurate. It's not that the interest wasn't there... it was that I didn't have the energy to follow through. Depression also involves a change from previous functioning... Fatigue was about the only real change and it impacted a number of other areas. But because of the mention of self-injury the doctor believed that I must be depressed and it was a cry for help. So the underlying issues weren't going to be treated. I was sent for a crisis evaluation at the hospital and the doctor outright said he wanted me on strong anti-depressants before he would allow me to return to work. Now we can add blackmail to the list of things that went wrong with the LOA. It was supposed to be time to relieve that stress and have a mini vacation but it was anything but. When I went back to work I was more relaxed... but I had also been sleeping in while I was off so I wasn't quite as fatigued. I was also moved to another team which helped tremendously. It allowed me to be much more relaxed. I was away from Chris... and from Steve... hidden in my little corner. Plus Christie and I have been friends for 3 years now.

So that was the LOA... the "stress break" that wasn't. I wasn't expecting much of the vacation. But since I got rid of the unwanted guest... it has really allowed me to just be. I don't have to talk to anyone and can just relax. During my LOA Steve was around which didn't help. Now there is no one... just me. Well me and Azrael but he's pretty quiet... except at 2:00 in the morning when he has his bear. I really needed this time to unwind and while I don't expect the fatigue to just magically disappear (would be nice if it did) I can filter out all the noise and just rest. And since it's just me that also means that I don't have to listen to certain people, faking their concern, while really just manipulating me. I call this week my stress free diet.

Growing Up... Or Not

My vacation officially began 5.5 hours ago. So far it doesn't look like it's going to be what I was hoping for. If only I hadn't been online that day to become the bleeding heart I am known to be and take Tristan in. Since then I've barely been eating and can feel the stress in my neck and shoulders... just getting worse. I've changed since we were actually together. I quit smoking. I've pretty much quit drinking, aside from the occasional drink with dinner. I became the responsible adult and grew up... kind of sad that I am saying that at 27... but there will always be things we can improve upon. He, on the other hand, has not changed at all. He's still a deadbeat and making excuses. Tristan is now working at his 4th job, that I know of, in less then a year. He typically quits them and has nothing to go to. He just started working as a roofer so who knows how long that will last. He's also lived in 3 locations, that I'm aware of. When he moved in it was with the promise that it would be for a couple of days, or at most until the end of the month. Obviously, it's been more then a couple of days. I haven't heard him mention his supposed roommate in almost a week.. He also said he'd be buying his groceries. That hasn't happened either. Promised that to me a week ago but never followed through saying that he ran into someone he knew that he owed money to so he paid them off. That tells me a couple of things. It reinforces the fact that things haven't changed. He was in debt when I knew him before and he still owes me $300. But it also tells me about his priorities. He paid for a carton of smokes from his boss and whoever he owed money to... and then just took advantage of my generousity. I didn't have to take him in. I didn't even get an apology for him helping himsefl, just an explanation. I know he is still young and immature... but at 21 I wasn't needing to find a new place to live every few months, not staying at a job very long and in debt to everyone under the sun. Granted I did owe money for my student loan but I was halfway through university by the time I was his age. I am not saying that he should be a carbon copy of me cuz that would be silly... but take some responsibility. Hold down a job for more then a month, find affordable housing and work on paying off debts. Even better don't get tattoos, drugs, etc. if you can't afford groceries and housing. Grow up just a little.

Trip to BC

Still contemplating that trip to BC. As Suzanne said, not going to get too many chances at a free vacation. But there are still a few roadblocks. I need something done with the medical certificate so that I can get paid for my time off. And tomorrow I am going to see a real doctor. I am going out of town to go see an actual family doctor. I have no idea what he will say or do... but it gives me hope. He can refer me to a specialist... maybe even do some bloodwork to see if there is a medical reason for the fatigue. The doctor even has the power to clear me to return to work. So, for now, the trip to BC is on hold, at least until after I see the doctor and get his opinion.

While I am on an LOA having digital cable is really handy... Mind you I seem to wind up watching A&E or the World Series of Poker. Now there are other shows I watch, like CSI, Criminal Minds, the UFC, and 24 but they are only on once a week. I should really watch a movie... or get back to playing the PS2 but right now I am being pretty lazy. Besides Criminal Minds will be on at 9.

And tomorrow it is time for that road trip. Road trip... road trip.... Okay so it's not that exciting a road trip but hey it is still a trip out of Peterborough. I think I'm also looking for a sound card while I am out of town. Might as well make use of the day. And the Toronto area offers a lot more options for cheaper computer parts. So we'll see what tomorrow holds.

Twist of Fate

It turned out to be a bit of a weird day... It started out normal enough... I slept in and when I woke up started working on a DVD. My average day. I called my sister to check in, forgetting that she was updated with my blog any ways. Then I figured I should call my dad since he didn't know I was even off work. So I updated him... and he offered me a vacation to BC. It wasn't quite the tropical vacation I'd been hoping for but it would still be a vacation... a chance to get away. I'm not sure why I am having a tough time with this decision. It should be an easy one. I love BC. I'd also see family I haen't seen in a few years. I should be jumping on the opportunity for a free trip.

My first concern is that I need to get all the medical information for my EI claim and that is a bit of a challenge. The doctor didn't give me a medical certificate. As soon as I get that I can mail it in with my Record of Employment and then just wait for the EI cheque. So that should be resolved in the near future, I hope.

Secondly, I am hoping to do some work for Chaord Studios while I am off. I've been making some UFC DVDs but those are just for entertainment. I'm also planning to make one with the pictures of my niece. At some point I also have to create a web site but that will hopefully only take me a few days to complete. Even better would be them having the money for it. That would make it easier to pay bills.

Then there is Azrael. I know Steve would take care of him but he is still my baby. I'm used to being with him every day and knowing that while I sleep he'll be on the bed beside me. It's comforting. As I have said before who needs a therapist when you have a cat...

There's also the longshot of a cancellation with the psychiatrist. If someone cancels then I might be able to get in sooner and be cleared to go back to work. This is unlikely since it takes 6-8 weeks to get an appointment. I can't see people not going. But I suppose anything is possible.

I know I should take the opportunity for a vacation and head out west but I am still a little reluctant. I'm not even sure why I am hesitant and not jumping at the chance. C'mon a free trip out west. Who wouldn't jump at that? I'm definitely going to give it some thought in the next couple of days and make a decision.