Week in Review

Okay so the week is only about half over. But since I wasn't sure I would get to the post at the end of the week I thought I would post this now. Plus I am hoping the last couple of days are more routine. I might be on vacation next week. I know that you are now wondering what the "might" is all about. And I can think of at least one person that might have a vested interest in when I will be free. I always book vacation around my birthday. This year is no different. I booked it month's ago and it was approved. According to my current schedule I am on vacation next week. So what changed? Well I have been in training for the last 5 weeks. It has felt like a mini vacation. This week we went live and while the in class training has been completed the first two weeks on the phones is called TCC. Still not sure what it stands for but it means we have weekends off, time off the phones and most important floor support to assist us with our calls. I want to be there for all of that. Get a couple of weeks under my belt before going on vacation. Problem is that the week after is booked solid for vacations. Next week... or 2 weeks from now it would be no problem. But that week... not so easy. I talked to my trainer and he told me no. Then I discovered that TCC was only the 2 weeks and I really wanted to be there for all of it. So I talked to one of the managers on Friday. He thought it was a great idea and beneficial to the company for me to be there for all of it. But it has been a crazy week and so far the request has fallen through the cracks. Hopefully I find out before the end of my shift on Friday. Wouldn't want to make plans or anything.

So Monday was the launch date. *C*R*A*Z*Y* Basically Murphy's Law was in effect. "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." The IT department was updating the systems so there weren't enough desks. And then the main database system that we use crashed. Now normally I would cheer for time off the phones. But when it's the first day you want it to go smoothly. Instead that just meant the stress was heightened. It was a rough day but I survived.

Just in case work didn't contain enough drama then there was the stalker. Seems he had freaked out the day before on more then one person. Went as far as threatening suicide. So suddenly I had to deal with that... as if my day wasn't trying enough. But he had an appointment with the doctor the next day.... which resulted in what I would call a "Get out of jail free" card. Got a doctor's note to be moved to another team at work... where it will be less stressful. Don't even get me started on that one.

I was more stressed going into the second day then I was the first after everything that happened. But once I started taking calls I settled in and it was a much better day. And today was also a good day. As far as the calls go any ways. Tech support is a much better fit for me then billing ever was. So I am settling in. And yes it is challenging and will take some time to come together and for me to be completely comfortable with it.

Outside of the job I haven't been sleeping well. I am thinking that the lack of daylight is part of it... along with going live.... and the fact my routine seems thrown off. Or maybe it is the small feline that has taken to curling up with me at night and disturbing my slumber. But I love Azrael so I can't really get mad at him. Just hope that I can start getting some sleep.. or should I say sleep through the night.

The Changeover

I never thought that changing shifts would be this difficult... at least not going from open to close. Figured I would just go back to what I was used to and would be fine since I could sleep in. Maybe it is just because I am getting older but it's not so easy. Granted last night I really didn't have anything to do so my mind wasn't as active but by midnight I just wanted to crawl into bed and go to sleep. The problem is that tonight I won't be done work until 2:00 am. My whole sleep schedule is messed up. Last week I was getting up at 4:30 and this week it's more like I am going to bed then. By the time my body catches up I will be on a different shift again. I'm too old for this.

What a Day

Today (or yesterday by the time I post this) I got home from work and then was doing some random, useless things. At the end I was watching Nascar Live to see if they had any useful news. They really didn't. What a waste of time. So in the end I went to bed late... around 2:00 p.m. About an hour later I woke up from my dreamland.... but was startled awake. I was pretty incoherent at the time and somehow thought that I was late for work or had missed my shift entirely. So I turned the alarm off and then realized that it was only 3:00 p.m. Now I thought I turned the alarm back on.... Apparently not. I woke up to my phone going off at 10:45 when my ride arrived. 20 minutes later I was out the door but here we are a few hours later and I still feel like a zombie. Not a good way to begin the day. Stumble out the door to go to work and stop at McDonald's for dinner. Seems they don't sell the grilled chicken after 11. So much for anything that might remotely be healthy. Time for a quarter pounder. The fries were cold. Get to work and according to my schedule I was a no-call, no-show yesterday. Now I pride myself on attendance. Not only that but I was here yesterday taking calls.... so that better get changed... and it better be done before we get paid for that week. What else is going to happen today?

Working Hard

There is something to be said for being able to update your blog at work. Have I mentioned yet that I love the new job? Full internet access... well aside from Hotmail any ways. So right now I am waiting for a call and it gives me a chance to do other things... like contact people on Facebook, engage in poke wars (knowing that they won't be up for a few hours), check out the latest news, watch videos on You Tube and now even blog. All in a days work let me tell you. I can always find something to do. I was even tempted to write real emails to people but I am still a purist. I like using Entourage (Read: Outlook for non Mac users) and actually having a copy of the email in my sent folder that I can search later... Mind you there are way too many emails in my sent folder but that's why searching for key words is a good thing. Hmm... wonder what's next on the agenda. A nap perhaps?

The Secret to Getting Some Sleep

I discovered the sleep to getting some sleep last night. Take Trazadone, a mild anti-depressant used for sleep and add in Nyquil. I was out cold. Woke up long enough to call work and then passed out again. I actually woke up at 3:00 in the afternoon.

I'm not sure if I am fighting a cold or the flu at the moment. Really low on energy. Of course any time I get sick I get low on energy and struggle to take care of myself. I don't want to eat. All I want to do is sleep.

Almost the End

I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. It seems like the nightmare might almost be over. Of course this is still assuming that my application for interest relief is finally approved. I should find out at some point this week. And if it goes through then I will be getting caught up on my bills. I'm also seeing the end of my long hours as well... and am looking forward to that. I could really use the sleep. I could also use the vacation that comes at the end of that.

But the hits just keep on coming. Today I bounced a payment to Dell. It's the downside to automatic payments... I have a tendency to forget about them. I decided to pick up a few groceries so I could make lunch... and wound up not having enough to cover the payment. Right after they took out the payment then I got the money back from the chiropractor. Unfortunately for me I think it was too little too late. It was also partially because the bank was closed on Monday with the holiday. So the $25 payment is about to become a $75 payment. *Sigh* Not exactly what I wanted.

Have I mentioned it really is an emotional rollercoaster? Just when I think I'm getting ahead something happens. I would really like to finish getting my dental work done as well. I still have a chipped tooth and it's becoming more and more painful. At this point I would just like to have the tooth removed... or get the cavities filled. But it's not exactly cheap... even with the 100% coverage from work. I got a lot of the work done before, just not the upper right hand side. So somehow... when I get done bringing my bills up to date I also have to pay the $200-$300 to the dentist. It's a never ending cycle. I guess that's why they say no matter how much you make it will never be enough.

Long Weekend

Since Monday is a holiday in the US that means a long weekend for me. After a number of one day weekends I am definitely looking forward to 3 days off. Now I wish that my jaw wasn't still hurting. I keep getting this weird feeling going through the nerves, even into my ear. I am back to the dentist on Tuesday so hopefully he can give me an anti-inflammatory or an antibiotic. I'd also like the feeling back in my tongue but looks like that might be a while.

Not doing a whole lot on my days off. Just going to relax and take it easy. Well I do have to do laundry at some point but that's not a big deal. I should probably also go grocery shopping but that's really not a lot to do in 3 days. Might even catch up on some sleep.

Light of Day

For the first time in over a month I actually was outside in the morning... even better I was awake during the morning hours. Steve said Tammy was brave for daring to wake me up in the morning. I'll be the first to admit that I am not a morning person and since I am currently not at work I have no reason to be up. My first day shift is going to be rough. So I saw daylight for a little while. Then I went back to bed. I didn't get much sleep last night. I didn't take my medication since I knew I wasn't getting 8 hours of sleep so I really paid the price for it.

Azrael snubbed me when I did get home this morning. After spending the night at Tammy's he wanted his revenge... that lasted all of 10 minutes, which is an eternity in the memory of a cat. Then he was back to wanting love and adoration. He even decided my stomach made a good pillow. Yep back to his usual self.

Another Sleepless Night

So once again I seem to be battling the insomnia... trying to sleep but too many thoughts going through my head. thinking about what I have to get done while at work tomorrow. Also wondering what's going to happen while at work since last week wasn't so good. Thinking about whether I should look for a roommate or see if the building management will let me take a one bedroom. I'm still on the lease until May so I'm not sure what will happen there. Wondering how I'd afford a one bedroom if hat was an option, since I will have to pay my student loans soon. Then cursing because it's not 1:30 a.m. and I have to be up at 8:00. Can't I just shut my brain off for once?

Fibromylgia & Depression

Okay so maybe I am still in denial... but I refuse to accept that I am depressed. I looked up the symptoms for the Fibromyalgia and for Depression and noticed there were a lot of overlapping symptoms. Not to mention with the symptoms from the fibromyalgia it's easy to see why there is a link to depression. The pain is still there... a constant reminder. But over the last year or so the fatigue has increased to the point where I have no energy at all to do anything. Even more difficult for me to deal with is the cognitive side, or "Fibro fog" that I experience. I'll lose track halfway through a sentence and have difficulty focusing. Every day is a challenge. I try and cover for the lapses but it's frustrating, especially for me. You could say something to me and I'll have no recollection.. or sometimes I won't even understand. It's like you were speaking in English and I was hearing it in Japanese. So if you know any good ways to get some restorative sleep I am all ears.

Symptoms of fibromyalgia include:

• Chronic muscle pain, muscle spasms or tightness, and leg cramps.
• Moderate or severe fatigue and decreased energy.
• Insomnia or waking up feeling just as tired as when you went to sleep.
• Stiffness upon waking or after staying in one position for too long.
• Difficulty remembering, concentrating, and performing simple mental tasks.
• Abdominal pain, bloating, nausea, and constipation alternating with diarrhea (irritable bowel syndrome).
• Tension or migraine headaches.
• Jaw and facial tenderness.
• Sensitivity to one or more of the following: odors, noise, bright lights, medications, certain foods and cold.
• Feeling anxious or depressed.
• Numbness or tingling in the face, arms, hands, legs or feet.
• Increase in urinary urgency or frequency (irritable bladder).
• Reduced tolerance for exercise and muscle pain after exercise.
• A feeling of swelling (without actual swelling) in the hands and feet.
• Painful menstrual periods.
• Dizziness.

Symptoms of depression include:

• Sadness
• Loss of enjoyment from things that were once pleasurable
• Loss of energy
• Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
• Difficulty concentrating
• Difficulty making decisions
• Insomnia or excessive sleep
• Stomachache and digestive problems
• Sexual problems (for example, decreased sex drive)
• Aches and pains (such as recurrent headaches)
• A change in appetite causing weight loss or gain
• Thoughts of death or suicide
• Attempting suicide