Denial

I'm really starting to relive Psych 101.... This time it's Freud and his defense mechanisms. Too bad I never liked Freud or agreed with his theories. Psychoanalytic theory was all about the id, ego and superego. Translation: we all have id impulses and can't act on all of them... so we have the ego to control those impulses. We use defense mechanisms to alter or distort those unsconscious desires. One of the many defense mechanisms put forward by psychonalytic theory is denial. In a nutshell denial is the refusal to accept reality.

Right about now I wish I could go back to denial. Denial does make everything a lot easier. It means you can avoid whatever is going on. I spent two years denying anything was wrong... to myself and to others. Can I go back to that? Granted denial also means not taking any responsibility but hey... if it means that I don't have to face the reality that something could be wrong... then I am all for denial.

I still remember the courses I took on thanatology (the study of death)... wish I could've actually made that my minor but any ways... That was kind of hard to do since the only courses I could actually take were those offered in the summer. Any ways.... one of the main points (that has also been applied to other things) came from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and her book "On Death and Dying". Initially it was about terminal care patients and their road from denial to acceptance. It has also been used in mental illness.

1. Denial: The "No, Not Me" Stage - This stage is filled with disbelief and denial... this can't be happening (Trying to avoid the inevitable)
   
2. Anger/Resentment: The "Why Me" Stage - This stage is filled with anger... anger towards yourself, others, the situation, and anger that it happened to you (Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion)
   
3. Bargaining: The "If I do This, You'll do That" Stage - You try and negotiate to change the situation (I wonder how often God is involved at this stage) (Seeking in vain to find a way out)
   
4. Depression: The "It's Really Happened" Stage - At this point you realize that it isn't going to change... You wonder what is going to happen with life as you knew it (Final realization of the inevitable)
   
5. Acceptance: The "I'm Ready" Stage - You've realized that you can't change things and this is the way it's going to be... and the only thing you can do is move forward (Finally finding the way forward)

As you can see this can be applied to a number of situations... from terminal illness... mental illness... even smaller events that we go through on a daily basis. I'm wondering where I am currently on that road. I'm thinking stage 2... Knowing me I'll skip stage 3 and go straight to the depression... but give me a little while before I hit that point.