Stress & Fear

I was a little tired when I got up this morning. I had too much on my mind last night and had trouble sleeping. Not a good way to start the day. Took calls like usual and then was given a "special" assignment. Okay so I got it because Pat wasn't in. About halfway through the day I developed a really bad migraine... something I haven't had in a while. Now my back and shoulders had been bugging me for a few days.

Fortunately, I had a chiropractor's appointment right after work. She could tell that it was stemming from the left side of my neck. She seems to think that I am just getting more and more stressed out as time goes by. It's the uncertainty of it all. And the fact that I do have to see the hematologist after all. I think part of me was still hoping that I wouldn't have to... but no such luck.

I think the best words to describe my world... stress and fear. I'm afraid of what the results might be. And it's been over a month since I was at the doctors so I have had plenty of time to dwell on it. There is also stress from my student loan since I never got the forms and have to call and get them resent. Work is also a source of stress. We have to focus so much on meeting the mandate that it's adding a great deal of pressure. Probably not what I need at the moment. I can't help but worry that we won't meet it... and on top of that I know that Pat will be in training 2 days next month, Dave will be on vacation and I am plnning to take some time later in the month as well. Plus, on top of that, I'm not sure when I am going to need some time to go get the bone marrow biopsy done.

For now though my head still hurts... It's lessened but is still there. I hope it's gone by tomorrow!